


If I Fall for You

by scoobysnacksfix



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-14 04:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 111,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoobysnacksfix/pseuds/scoobysnacksfix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have an arrangement, some might say they're "fuck buddies". But what happens when one of them starts to want more? Will it ruin everything? (Title from Ed Sheeran’s song “Fall”.)</p>
<p>
  <i>Thinking of Harry always brings a smile to my face. Harry, my best mate, a term that doesn’t seem to be nearly sufficient enough to describe our relationship. We’re the best of friends for sure; I trust him implicitly, tell him just about everything, can’t imagine what I ever did before I had him. But there’s so much more to it that I don’t think many people would be able to understand...</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fuck Buddies

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/Beautiful%20People/?action=view&current=boyskissblur.jpg)

~ Chapter One: Fuck Buddies ~

Louis…

I’m startled awake from a half-sleep when our tour bus hits a bump in the road, shaking everything on board. My earbuds are still in my ears but no music is playing so I pull them out and set them aside along with my phone then stretch my arms in front of me as I look around the bus’s small living area. Apparently I’ve fallen asleep on my favorite chair again and someone, probably Harry, has placed a blanket over me and turned all of the lights out.

Thinking of Harry always brings a smile to my face. Harry, my best mate, a term that doesn’t seem to be nearly sufficient enough to describe our relationship. We’re the best of friends for sure; I trust him implicitly, tell him just about everything, can’t imagine what I ever did before I had him. But there’s so much more to it that I don’t think many people would be able to understand.

I’ve never been a fan of the term ‘fuck buddies’, it’s so crude, although I suppose it is rather fitting. ‘Friends with benefits’ could also be a possibility, but it just sounds so…professional. As if we sat down and wrote out a contract that needed to be signed before we could start having sex with each other. It’s true that we did have a discussion early on where we tried to make sense of what it is that we were to each other and decided together that this was simply sexual gratification, nothing more, nothing less. 

We’re both young and horny and being on the road can make it difficult to seek out people to satisfy our sexual needs. Obviously there are plenty of girls, (and guys), out there who would be willing to give it up for the night but there are _so many_ possible complications that could come with sleeping with a fan. First of all, there’s a risk that they might run to the tabloids and give away all of the sordid details. Secondly, there are _feelings_ to worry about, not to mention STDs and pregnancy. So excuse me for saying this but...sometimes a guy just needs sex without all the hassle!

Harry _gets_ that. He’s so easygoing and fun; we can go at it hot and heavy one minute and play video games the next and it’s just so uncomplicated. (And let’s be perfectly honest, Harry is pretty easy on the eyes, too.)

I stand up and head for the loo to relieve myself then brush my teeth and give my face a quick scrub before turning out the bathroom light and quietly approaching the sleeping area in the middle of the bus. Everyone is probably already asleep and I know I should crawl into my own bunk for a little shut-eye but I have other plans; plans that involve Harry.

First, I need to make sure the other boys truly are asleep and use the dim overhead lighting to help guide my way. I can hear Liam’s soft snoring so I don’t bother checking on him but Niall’s bunk is completely quiet so I slowly pull the curtain back and laugh when I see that he’s asleep with his mouth wide open, a half-eaten bag of Cheetos clutched in his hand. For a moment I consider prying it out of his fingers, just to prevent them from spilling all over his bed if he happens to change position, but decide it will probably wake him so I close his curtain and turn around to check on Zayn.

Zayn’s bunk is above Harry’s and the moment I pull his curtain back I know he’s down for the count; he’s on his side with a blanket tucked up under his neck and his mouth partway open, looking impossibly young as he sleeps. Zayn’s one of the few people I know who can sleep through just about anything and can fall asleep just about anywhere. I kind of envy him for that.

After closing Zayn’s curtain I bend down and pull the curtain back for Harry’s bunk then carefully climb inside and close the curtain behind me before shimmying up behind Harry, pressing myself to his back and burying my nose in his curls so that I can breathe him in.

He’s clearly sleeping and I should probably let him get his rest; we’ve been touring for weeks nonstop, a good night of sleep seems to be a rare privilege these days. But the growing warmth between my legs is urging me to wake him. It’s his own fault, really; the way he flirted with those two girls in the front row during our last concert was so blatant, so shameless, and he did it all to rile me up. Unfortunately we’d been rushed to do an interview directly after the concert and then straight to our bus after that and we just couldn’t seem to get a moment alone. 

But now I’ve got him to myself, relatively speaking, and I think he owes me some relief.

I press my lips to his ear and whisper, “Harry?” He doesn’t respond so I repeat myself in a sing-song, “Harrr-yyy.”

“Hmm?” He hums his reply, not moving.

“You sleeping?”

“I _was_.”

“Sorry to wake you.” I tell him quietly, even though I’m not really that sorry.

Harry doesn’t respond, just turns his body so that he’s lying on his back and I immediately shift my own body so that I’m molded against his side. The bunks are really too small for two people but we always make it work somehow. 

I can feel him settling into sleep again, his body relaxed and his breath evening out and I know I have to do something to keep his attention so I slide my hand under his Ramones t-shirt and stroke up his smooth stomach to his chest, slowly skimming the tip of my middle finger around one of his nipples.

A small smile plays on his lips and he looks at me sleepily and asks, “You’re not tired?”

“A little. Mostly I’m horny.” I prove my point by grinding my dick against his hip and he huffs out a laugh.

“What’s new?”

I shift my body up a little so my face is only about an inch away from his. “Wanna fool around?”

“We can’t do much here. Bunk’s too small.”

“We can make it work. We always have.” I roll my hips again and give his nipple a pinch.

He tilts his head to look at the curtain. “The other boys?”

“All asleep. I checked. Zayn’s above us, you know he doesn’t wake for anything.” I nuzzle my nose against his neck until he tilts his head back down then I immediately try to press my lips to his but he pulls away.

“Hang on. I need to use the toilet.” He tells me and starts to climb out of the bunk and it takes everything in me not to groan out loud in frustration. 

“Don’t be long.” I whisper a bit louder than I intend but he’s already gone so I flop onto my back and place a hand behind my head, sighing as I stare into the darkness, listening to the soothing sound of the bus’s engine rumbling. The bunks aren’t the most comfortable beds in the world, and they really aren’t made for two people to fit, but I kind of love the idea of being crammed in with Harry, literally on top of each other in this tight space.

After a couple of minutes Harry returns and I shimmy closer to the wall as he slips into the bunk with me, a smile on his face and a noticeable bulge in his boxer-briefs. He hands me a bottle of lotion and a damp hand towel and whispers, “Thought we might need these.”

“Ahh, always prepared. I’ve taught you well, young Harold.” I set the items aside and climb on top of him, leaning in for the kiss I’ve been waiting for all night. I make it nice and deep, licking my way into his mouth and I feel him melting into it, moaning softly against my lips.

He tastes of toothpaste and smells of soap and I smile inwardly, knowing he washed up and brushed his teeth for my sake. I want to tease him about it but can’t because I do the same thing for him; it’s just common courtesy to be as fresh as possible when you’re about to do naughty things with someone.

I slide my lips to his ear and whisper, “You were awfully flirty with those girls tonight.”

“Not sure what you’re talking about.”

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. The two girls on the right hand side of the stage, one blonde, one brunette.”

“The ones with huge jubblies?” He asks as his hands slide up my back, under my shirt.

“Yep. Those are the two.”

“Just bein’ friendly.” He answers quietly with a shrug of his shoulders and even though I can’t see his face very clearly in the darkness, I can tell he’s smiling.

“Friendly, huh? A little _too_ friendly I’d say.” I kiss along his neck and down to his collarbone, my tongue tracing his necklace.

“What do you care?” He asks but there’s no real malice in his voice.

“Huh?” I breathe out, even though I heard him.

“What do you care if I’m friendly to the fans? It’s not like I’m going to do anything with them.”

“Do whatever you want, love.” I tell him and lift up so that I can pull my shirt off then reach down to stroke him through his underwear, feeling the outline of his erection through the thin material, and he breathes a little heavier and pushes his hips up to try and get more friction.

We kiss lazily for a few minutes, pressed up against each other, Harry’s hands roaming over my back and my fingers finding their way into his underwear, wrapping around the long, smooth length of his cock. He’s sticky with pre-cum and I use it to lube my palm so that I can slowly jerk him off, reaching down to fondle his balls every now and then.

He reaches into my shorts to squeeze my ass and whispers, “Get your shorts off. Wanna feel you.”

I pull my hand out of his underwear and lift up as much as I can to pull my shorts down; only managing to get the material to mid-thigh and Harry pulls his shirt over his head and accidentally hits his hand against the wall with a dull ‘thunk’.

“Ouch, fuck.” He tosses his shirt aside and pulls his hand to his chest.

“You okay?” I ask him and he laughs.

“Yeah, I’m fine. These bunks are dangerous.”

I reach for his hand and place a few gentle kisses to the back of it then shift my body up so that I can kiss his lips and ask him, “Better?”

“Much. Thank you.”

I kiss him again, more deeply this time and pull his underwear down as far as I can so that I can feel his skin against mine; his chest against my chest, his cock grinding against mine, his hands everywhere, pulling me closer.

His mouth moves to my neck and I close my eyes and whisper against his temple, “You gonna let me fuck you when we get to the hotel?”

“No, it’s your turn.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“It’s _your_ turn to let _me_ fuck _you_.”

“It most certainly is not.”

“Yes it is,” He explains between soft kisses to my neck, “You got me back in New York. At the hotel where they had that weird reclining chair in the room; you insisted we do it on the last setting and I was practically upside-down, remember?”

I smile as I think about it. “Oh yeah, guess I forgot.”

He laughs a little and gives my bottom a gentle smack as he tells me, “You always have a selective memory about these things.”

“That chair was amazing.”

“Amazing for you maybe, I almost threw my back out.”

“Aww, my poor Haz.” I answer against his ear then pull the lobe between my teeth for a little nibble before pulling back so that I can reach for the lotion.

I squirt some into my palm and coat my dick with it and it feels so good, I just stroke myself for a bit while Harry sucks on my nipple and pushes his hips up impatiently. Eventually I grab the lotion again and squirt some more into my hand and Harry tells me, “Go easy on that stuff, we’re almost to the end of the bottle.”

“We can buy more.”

“I don’t know where to get it. It’s some fancy shit one of the fans gave me in a care package.”

“It smells really good.” I reach down to cover Harry’s dick with it and the whole bunk smells like a warm-citrus-vanilla mixture that’s really nice. “It’s a bit girly but still…really good.”

“I know. I like it, too. I think Niall’s been using it. He’s walked by me a few times and I swear he’s got it on.”

“Eww.” I laugh a little. “I don’t want to think about Niall having a wank using this lotion.”

He laughs with me. “I didn’t say he had a wank with it, I just think he had it on his hands. At least I _hope_ that’s all he did with it.”

“I’m sure that’s all it was.” I say before leaning down to kiss him deeply again and stretching my fingers around both of our cocks as much as I can.

He moans into my mouth when I start to stroke us together at a steady pace then he slides his hands up to hold onto my shoulders and grinds his hips in a circular motion, pushing himself into the slickness of my palm.

We try to stay quiet, holding back the desire to moan and hoping the rumble of the bus’s engine is enough to cover our heavy breathing and the sound of my hand jerking us off. After a while my wrist starts to hurt and the material of my shorts is digging almost painfully into my thighs but I ignore all of that because I’m _so close_ , I focus all of my attention into getting us off. 

Harry reaches down to squeeze my ass and I can tell from the erratic way he’s thrusting his hips that he’s close as well so I stroke a little faster and he buries his face in the crook of my neck, stifling a moan as his orgasm spills out over my hand and onto his stomach.

I push myself up so that I’m resting my weight on one hand and let go of Harry’s softening cock so that I can focus on my own orgasm. He lifts his head so that he can suck my nipple and his hands stroke my sides as I pump my fist over my erection, thinking about that chair back in New York and the naughty things we’d done in it. Harry’s mouth moves to my other nipple and he flicks his tongue in a way that always makes me crazy and I close my eyes tightly and bite my lip, desperately trying not to make noise as I come.

I immediately collapse onto my side next to Harry and reach for the hand towel so that I can try to clean myself up and Harry pulls his underwear all the way off and tosses them to the corner of the bunk.

He then grabs the towel from me and starts to wipe his stomach with it as he mumbles, “Well, I’m definitely going to sleep good now.”

“Yeah, me too.” I pull my shorts back up and relax on my side, pulling the pillow under my head to try and get more comfortable.

“You have to switch places with me.” He tells me and throws the towel to the corner of the bunk by his feet.

“I’m comfortable, don’t make me move.”

“C’mon, we have to switch places.” He whines.

“Why?” I whine a little in return.

“Because I like sleeping next to the wall. Just…please?” He answers and I huff dramatically but climb over him while he scoots himself close to the wall.

“Happy?” I ask and he nods.

“Yes, very. Thanks.” He answers, facing the wall.

“I should just go to my own bunk to sleep.” I mumble, somewhat disgruntled.

“Do what you want, love.” He answers over his shoulder, mocking my earlier statement and I smile.

He reaches a hand back to grasp mine and pulls it around his body so I move closer until my nose is buried in his curls again. It’s so incredibly comfortable, I really don’t want to move to my own bunk so I lace our fingers together on his stomach and feel myself instantly drifting off to sleep.

~ End Chapter One ~


	2. Just Another Day at the Office

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=SleepyHarry.jpg)

Louis…

I’m still wrapped around Harry when Liam pulls the curtain back to wake us and I make a quick mental assessment of my surroundings, feeling relieved when I realize that my shorts are pulled all the way up and the blanket is covering most of Harry’s naked body. The other guys know that we like to cuddle sometimes so I’m sure Liam’s not surprised to see us in the same bunk but if he’d caught us _both naked_ and cuddling…he might have a few questions.

I turn to look over my shoulder and Liam smiles as he says, “Time to wake up, sleepyheads. We’ve arrived.”

“Okay, be out in a minute.” I answer quietly, reaching up to rub my eyes.

“You two look so cute; I should take a picture for Twitter. Bet my followers would love that.” He says as he starts to pull his phone out of his pocket so I flip him off playfully then reach out to close the curtain and I hear him laughing as he walks away.

Harry sighs and turns around so he’s facing me, his eyes still closed, and we lay like that for a minute, listening to the sounds inside the bus and wishing we could just stay here and sleep.

Our peace is ruined a moment later when we hear Paul, our bodyguard, yell, “Oi! Sleeping Beauties, it’s time to wake up!”

Harry groans and blinks his eyes open and I push his messy curls away from his forehead and lean forward to kiss his nose before asking, “You ready, love?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be. You?”

“Yep.” I roll over and push the curtain back then slip out of the bunk, grabbing the disgusting jizz towel when I see it lying in the corner of the bunk. Thankfully Liam didn’t see it. (At least I hope he didn’t.)

I head for the toilet, eager to relieve myself and while I’m brushing my teeth, Harry knocks on the door and shouts, “Lou, I gotta pee!” So I unlock the door and Harry slides in and braces one hand against the wall, leaning over the toilet and letting out a loud sigh of relief as the urine starts to flow, and I have to shake my head because he’s still completely stark-naked.

“You have no shame, do you.” I say around a mouthful of toothpaste suds.

“Nope. After all, it’s just a dick.” He answers, leaning towards me to kiss my cheek.

I push him away, laughing, and bend down to rinse my mouth before telling him, “None of that now. We’ve got to get moving.”

“I know, I know.” He answers and flushes the toilet then reaches for his own toothbrush and we stand together at the sink, Harry brushing his teeth and me running my fingers through my messy hair.

Once I’ve fixed my hair, as much as it can be fixed without actually washing it anyway, I smack Harry’s naked bottom and exit the bathroom to head for the back of the bus so that I can grab my bag and find something to wear.

I pull on a pair of white pants and tug my blue t-shirt over my head as I’m walking down the hallway but stop short when I see Harry heading for the front of the bus, still buck naked. This isn’t an unusual sight, not just for me but for the rest of the band as well, but I still catch up to him and tell him, “Hey, at least put your underwear on.”

“Let me have a little fun, Lou.” He winks at me so I let him go.

The reaction is exactly as expected; Niall and Liam both scrunch up their faces and Liam yells, “Aww man, Harry! Put some clothes on!”

Niall picks up a pillow and chucks it at Harry’s head as he says, “Seriously, what is wrong with you?!”

Zayn just stands off to the side laughing and eventually Paul intervenes, moving towards Harry with a dishtowel to cover his genitals and sternly telling him, “Go put some clothes on; there are young fans outside and the last thing we need is for them to see your willy!”

Harry turns around and wiggles his naked bum at Paul then slowly walks back towards the bunks and Paul laughs as he snaps the dishtowel at him, missing by quite a few inches.

I sit down next to Liam on the couch and yawn as I pull my shoes on. My stomach rumbles so I ask Paul, “Are we going to eat soon?”

Niall immediately perks up, adding, “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ starvin’. When we gonna eat?”

Paul nods and answers, “We’ll get you some breakfast as soon as we get inside. And Niall, how many times do I have to tell you to watch your fuckin’ language?”

We all laugh at that and Niall shrugs an apology and starts to dig through the fruit bowl, deciding on a pear. He sets the bowl aside and wipes the pear with the bottom of his shirt and just as he’s about to bite into it, Harry appears and swipes it out of his hand.

“Thanks Nialler.” Harry says then takes a big bite out of the side of the pear, wiping his chin when a bit of juice dribbles out of his mouth.

“Real nice, Harry.” Niall shakes his head and grabs another pear from the fruit bowl.

Harry is dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt with blue around the collar, his curls a tousled mess on top of his head and I desperately want to reach up and run my fingers through it but stop myself. He sits on the arm of the couch right next to me, his thigh touching my arm, and listens as Paul starts to give us the rundown of our morning. 

“We’re going to sign some autographs with the people outside _very quickly_ , ten minutes at the most, and then we’re having breakfast with some fans that won a contest. After that we’ve got a few radio stations to interview with about the show tonight…”

We’ve been through so many of these rundowns you wouldn’t think we’d need to do it any longer, but each hotel and each venue is a little different and I know that Paul likes to try and keep us as organized as he possibly can. (Poor bastard.)

Harry looks at me and winks as he brings the pear to his lips again, darting his tongue out to lick it obscenely and I try to hold back a smile and shake my head then point to Paul and whisper, “Show the man some respect.”

Harry rolls his eyes and continues to eat his pear and we all try our best to listen to what Paul has to say. 

“So, grab what you need from the bus. We’re heading out in two minutes.” Paul finishes and we stand so that we can grab our bags.

It’s a bit chaotic on the bus for the next minute or so but we’re all used to it by now so we move swiftly, occasionally bumping into each other and laughing. We all assemble at the front of the bus, except for Niall who stays in the bathroom just long enough to make us wonder what he’s up to.

“Niall, c’mon! You can shit later!” Paul shouts and Niall finally emerges from the bathroom. 

“I wasn’t taking a shit; I was trying to find that lotion. The one that smells like fruit salad? Anyone seen it?” Niall asks and Harry snorts and buries his head against my shoulder as we both start to laugh.

I gather myself enough to tell Niall, “I think we’re out of that one. Sorry, mate. Guess you’ll have to use something else.”

Harry leans in so that he can whisper in my ear, “We should let him smell our crotches.”

I can’t help but to collapse into a fit of giggles at that and Zayn and Liam give us an inquisitive look.

“Alright, let’s settle down, boys.” Paul says, his face stern. “Niall, if you need lotion I’ll find you some when we’re inside. Harry, stick close to Andy. No losing yourself in the crowd like last time, okay?”

“I would never!” Harry responds, holding his hand over his heart in mock offense.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re a bloody saint. Just stick with Andy, _please_.” Paul gives him a pointed look then opens the door to the bus and the sound of deafening screams come wafting towards us.

We file out of the bus with smiles plastered on our faces. No matter how many times I do this, it always feels a bit like we’re being thrown to the wolves.

~*~

Several hours later:

Harry…

We work our way through another group of girls, trying to sign as many autographs as possible and take as many pictures as possible but there are just so many people, it’s hard for us to really give any kind of personal treatment to each and every one of them. We’ve already had a full day today and I want nothing more than to chill in my hotel room with Louis for a bit but I know that some of our fans wait for _hours_ sometimes, just hoping to get a glimpse of us so the very least I can do is sign a few autographs and let them take a picture. 

Andy has a death grip on the back of my t-shirt, like I’m some kind of 5-year old, and every time I try to hug a fan I can feel him pulling me away as he says forcefully, “Okay, okay. That’s enough. Let’s keep it moving.” 

It’s so frustrating, not to mention _embarrassing_ to be treated like a child every time we’re out in public. So I’ve jumped into a crowd or two since we’ve been on tour but that doesn’t mean they have to keep me on lockdown for crying out loud. I am an adult!

I reach back to try and pry Andy’s fingers from my shirt but he laughs and grips me tighter, saying, “Not a chance, Styles. I have strict orders to keep hold of you.”

I know it’s pointless to argue with him, he outweighs me by about 5 stone and he’s pure muscle; I tried arm-wrestling him once, putting all of my body weight into it, and he beat me with such little effort it was laughable. Despite appearances though, Andy really is a good guy and I know he’ll do what he has to in order to protect me, to protect all of us, so I try not to give him too much shit.

As I’m signing yet another magazine cover, a fan shoves a medium-sized gift bag at me and shouts, “This is for you! Oh my God, Harry, I love you!”

“Thanks, babe.” I reply as I take the bag from her and she screams so loud I have to cover my ears, fearing she’ll cause irreparable damage. You’d think I’d be used to the sound by now but occasionally a fan will produce such an ear-piercing scream it doesn’t even seem human and this little blondie has done just that. It’s quite impressive, really.

When the scream subsides a little I bend down to give her a hug, hoping it will calm her somehow and realize what a huge mistake that is when the crowd surrounding her seems to swoop in on me and the next thing I know, I’m being yanked into the air by none other than Andy himself. 

“Okay, that’s enough! Let him go!” He shouts at the fans, plucking their fingers away from my arm and my t-shirt, just managing to stop them from ripping it from my torso. He’s got me by the waist and lifts me off of my feet like a ragdoll and I have no choice but to let him carry me to the safety of the hotel lobby.

Once we’re inside he finally puts me down and I smooth out my shirt as I tell him, “So, that went well.”

“Fuckin’ kid.” He shakes his head but I can see the smirk on his face.

“You love me and you know it.” I tell him with my best cheeky smile.

“You’re makin’ me earn my paycheck today, huh?”

“Always.” I reply and he playfully smacks the back of my head.

“I can’t believe you managed to hang onto that thing.” Andy says, pointing to the gift bag in my hand and I look down, laughing because I didn’t even realize I was still holding it.

I start to look through the bag, expecting to find a hand-made book or maybe a stuffed animal of some sort but instead I see that there are a handful of fluorescent condoms and a bottle of lube sitting right on top of them; it’s not the first time I’ve been given a gift of a sexual nature, it actually happens quite frequently, and I always have to wonder what they’re thinking. 

I realize there are rumors that I’m sleeping my way around the world but do people really think if they hand me a bag of condoms, a leopard-print thong, or my personal favorite – a lacy bra, that I’m automatically going to invite them to my hotel room? Or is it just a joke? Whatever the reason, I do appreciate this particular gift because I have an appointment with Louis’ ass in a moment and I _was_ running low on condoms.

The doors to the lobby open again, letting in the screams, and I watch as Louis, Zayn and Niall enter with Paul close behind them.

“Hey, where’s Liam?” I ask Paul as I look around the lobby.

“In his room already, said he had to answer nature’s call and he refused to use the toilet at the radio station.” Paul explains and places his hand on my back to make me start walking towards the hallway.

I simply nod at that. Liam isn’t fond of using public bathrooms in general but especially for certain things, (let’s just say things that take a bit longer than peeing), and I can definitely sympathize.

Our keycards are handed out as we all walk towards the elevators and Paul explains that we only have a little over an hour before we have to head out to the venue for sound check. (We probably have longer than that but he knows that we tend to dawdle so he has to keep on us constantly.)

Louis and I are rooming together, as usual, and once we’re inside, Louis flops onto the bed, face down, and grumbles into the comforter, “I’m so tired!” He turns his head to look at me. “God, I just want to sleep for like 12 hours.”

I sit down on the edge of my bed, trying not to show my disappointment as I say, “You’re going to sleep?”

“Nah, not enough time.”

“We have enough time for something.” I wiggle my eyebrows and he laughs.

“You want to do that now?”

“Um…yeah.” I answer in my best ‘don’t be an idiot’ tone.

I grab the gift bag and dump its contents onto the bed then spread out the condoms, lining them up and arranging them by color. I open the bottle of lube and smell the contents, cringing because it smells like cough syrup.

“I hope you’re not planning on using all of those on me.” Louis says as he crawls further up on the bed and pulls the pillow out from under the comforter so that he can wrap his arms around it, hugging it under his head.

“Not all at once. Which one shall we use today?” I ask with a smile, holding up the blue one. “I kind of like this one. It’s very pretty.”

Louis closes his eyes and mumbles, “Whatever.”

I sigh and crawl onto his bed, sliding my body on top of his, pushing his shirt up and resting my cheek on his back. I feel the rumble of his laughter as he tells me, “Get off of me, you knob. I can’t breathe!”

“M’not that heavy, be nice.”

“If this is your idea of seducing me you’re going to have to work on your technique a bit.” He’s still laughing and I smile, loving the way it sounds and feels against my cheek.

We lay like that for a minute until I finally shift up a little so that I can whisper in his ear, “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. I mean, I’m not gonna force you. Obviously.”

I slide my hands up his sides and slowly thrust my hips against his ass and he closes his eyes and his breathing changes when I slide one hand down between his legs and start to stroke him through his pants.

“This seduction technique is much better.” He says with a shaky breath and I smile and kiss his neck.

“I promise I’ll make it _so good_ for you.” I whisper into his ear and feel him shudder underneath me.

“Okay, you win.” He starts to lift up so I move off of him. “Just give me like five minutes, okay? And then you can join me in the shower.”

He starts to walk towards the bathroom then turns to say, “Go…out on the balcony or something, give me some privacy.”

“You don’t have to explain, I understand.” I stand up and grab my phone then walk out onto the balcony. Louis always likes to take a few moments to prepare himself, and I can completely understand because I do the same so I'm more than happy to give him some time alone to take care of whatever he needs to take care of.

Zayn is standing on his balcony smoking a cigarette so we smile at each other and I say, “Thought you’d be asleep by now.”

“I will be in a minute.” He waves the hand that’s holding the cigarette, indicating that he wanted to smoke first.

“Ah, I see.”

“How ‘bout you? What you up to?”

“Just…gettin’ some fresh air.” I answer and he nods and takes another hit off his cigarette. As much as I hate the fact that Zayn smokes, I have to admit that he looks insanely cool while he’s doing it.

My phone alerts me to a new message so I check it and see that my sister Gemma has sent me a picture. The message along with it says, “Thought you might like this…”

The attachment is a photoshopped picture of me and Louis kissing and I have to say, it’s not bad. Almost believable. It’s a shame we can’t just kiss in public, give the “Larry Stylinson” fans what they want. Then again, Twitter might actually explode if we did that.

I quickly type a reply to Gemma, _”That’s a nice one, I give it a 7”_

A few seconds pass before she responds, _“Only 7? I thought at least an 8!!”_

_“Needs some tongue to be an 8”_

_“You’re gross”_ She responds a moment later and I smile. I’ve suspected for a while now that my sister is a huge “Larry” fan; she’s the person who explained to me about Larry Stylinson when it started in the first place. She’s always sending me pictures that she finds and we rate them according to believability and general hotness, which might sound strange considering she’s my sister but like I said…I think she’s been captivated by the power of Larry just about as much as some of our fans. (If only she knew the truth!)

 _“What city are you in now?”_ Gemma texts and I start to reply but realize I don’t even have an answer.

“Hey Zayn, what city are we in?” I ask and Zayn looks at the sky, as if he might find the answer there, then looks at his feet for a moment before saying, “Shit, man. I don’t even know; I think it starts with an ‘M’, maybe?”

We both laugh and I tell him, “That’s really sad; we don’t even know where we are.”

He shrugs and replies, “Liam probably knows.”

I nod and look at my phone to reply to Gemma, _“Not sure, will have to get back to you on that”_

 _“Loser”_ She responds almost immediately.

 _“Tosser”_ I type back with a smile on my face.

_“Idiot ttyl love you”_

_“Love you too bye”_ I turn my phone off and tell Zayn, “Goin’ in now.”

“Okay. Hey, will you do me a favor? Will you call me in like an hour and wake me?”

“Sure thing. See you in a bit.” I open the sliding glass door and give Zayn a little wave before walking inside and closing the curtains, making sure there are no spaces left open.

I set my phone down on the table and approach the bathroom and when I see that the door is partially open and hear the water running in the shower, I know that Louis is ready for me. My cock immediately starts to stiffen so I strip my clothes, almost falling over in my haste to get my pants off.

I slowly stroke myself as I walk towards the bathroom then remember the condoms on the bed and quickly run to grab the blue one.

“Harreh?” Louis calls from the bathroom, “You comin’ or what?”

“Oh, I’m definitely coming.” I reply then laugh at my own dumb joke and quicken my pace into the bathroom, ready for some slippery, wet fun.

~ End Chapter Two ~


	3. The Blue Condom

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=colorfulcondoms.jpg)

Harry…

“Careful, Harry. Don’t leave a mark.” Louis tells me so I pull my mouth away from where I’d been sucking his neck then place gentle kisses to the spot.

“I’ll just have to mark you where no one can see.” I whisper against his neck.

“Oh yeah? Like where?”

“How ‘bout right here?” I slide my hand to his upper, inner thigh, just below his balls, and he gasps.

“Promises, promises.” He says breathlessly and pushes his body flush against mine, his back pressed to my stomach and chest, his skin hot and slick under my fingertips.

I hold his hips and thrust into him a little faster as the water beats down on us and I revel in the way he moans his pleasure and rests his head against my shoulder. I love moments like this, when it’s just the two of us; no screaming fans, no bodyguards, no Management or Simon Cowell to butt into our business. It’s just me and Louis, completely lost in pleasure, lost in each other in this small hotel room shower in some nameless city in America, and I want to enjoy every moment of it.

“Lift your leg up here.”

“Huh?” He asks so I point to the side of the bathtub.

“Up here, put your foot up here.” I gently guide him so he lifts one leg and places his foot onto the edge of the tub. “Good, now lean forward a little.”

He bends forward, bracing himself with one hand against the wall and I moan because I can slide my cock even further inside him at this angle and it feels _amazing_. I watch myself entering his slick hole, the blue condom appearing then disappearing again and again and I’m pretty sure it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

He reaches down to tug his own cock and I thrust my hips a little faster, watching the muscles in his back and his arms as he strokes himself and bucks back onto me.

“That’s it…so good, Haz. Oh yeah…holy fuckin’ hell…” He rambles, his voice raspy and so fucking sexy.

After a while I can tell he’s getting close to coming because the leg he’s standing on is becoming shaky so as much as I’m enjoying this view, I pull him up again, holding him around the waist to steady him and kissing his neck as I play with his nipples. I watch over his shoulder as he strokes his orgasm out and feel him tightening around my cock as streams of pearly white cum hit the floor of the bathtub then wash down the drain.

“Holy shit,” He gasps, his body completely relaxed and pliable in my arms, “That was so good. Com’ere, kiss me.”

He reaches one hand back to hold the back of my head, pulling me to him for a deep kiss as my hands roam over his stomach and chest. I want to start thrusting again but he suddenly pulls me out of him and steps further into the spray of the shower.

“Good job, love. I’d say that was one of our better sessions.” He says as he grabs the soap and starts to wipe himself down, “And one of the great things about shower sex is that cleanup is so easy.”

I pull the condom off and toss it onto the corner edge of the tub then start to stroke myself and when Louis turns in my direction I tell him, “So…I guess I’ll just finish myself off then?”

He looks at my erection, which is jutting straight up, still hard as a rock, and he laughs a little as he says, “You didn’t come?”

“No, that was all you.”

“Oh shit, shame on me. I must’ve been in my own little world.” He steps forward and kisses me then starts to slide the soap along the length of my dick.

After only a few seconds I stop him and say, “Don’t use too much of that or I’ll get the itchies.”

“Well, I’m not a fan of the taste of latex and since I’m about to stick this thing in my mouth, let’s get it cleaned off, yeah?”

“This thing? This _thing_?” I ask playfully.

"This...anaconda, is that better?"

"Yes, thank you. I like that."

He smiles up at me and I feel my breath quicken as he lowers down to sit on the edge of the bathtub. He uses the water to make sure all of the soap is rinsed off before sliding his mouth over the tip of my dick and my head lolls back as he slides his lips down as far as he can and strokes me with his hand at the same time.

Louis gives amazing head; I told him so once and he got upset, although I’m not really sure why. I’d only meant to compliment him. He’s funny about some things; I’ve learned to just go with it.

I know I won’t last much longer and when I look down and see his lips stretched wide around me, his blue eyes shining up at me through his wet fringe, I thrust my hips forward and feel myself pulsing into his mouth. He doesn’t swallow, just lets it drip from his mouth and down his chin and that’s even hotter than if he’d swallowed.

“Holy shit, Lou.” I gasp out, still lost in the aftershocks of my orgasm and he smiles and wipes his chin then stands up and kisses me, pulling me with him under the spray for one last rinse. 

~*~

Louis…

As I’m trying to fix my hair there’s a knock on the door and I assume it’s Paul, here to gather us so that we can head out for sound check. Harry is busy trying to find something in his bag so I walk to the door and open it to find Liam standing there, doing a bit of a “pee pee” dance.

“Hey, can I use your toilet, please?” Liam explains, “I really have to go and Niall’s been in our bathroom for a while now. I tried Zayn’s room but he didn’t answer. He must be downstairs already—”

“Oh shit, you know what?” Harry says, “I was supposed to call Zayn and wake him.” He quickly crosses the room and picks his phone up off of the table and I move out of the way for Liam to enter our room.

“Come on in.” I tell him and gesture towards the bathroom.

“Thanks, mate.” Liam walks into the bathroom quickly, not closing the door behind him and I walk to the bed and sit on the edge so that I can pull my shoes on.

Harry looks in the mirror and tries to smooth down a few out of control curls as he holds the phone to his ear and says, “Zayn, you awake? We gotta get goin’…Yeah, I think we’re late already…I meant to call sooner, sorry…Okay, see you soon. Don’t go back to sleep!”

He hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket while I stand up and tuck my t-shirt into my pants then change my mind and start to pull the material out again.

“Um, guys?” Liam calls from inside the bathroom. “Should I even ask why there’s a spent willy sleeve on the side of your bathtub?”

Harry immediately looks at me, his eyes almost comically wide as he mouths, “Oh shit, I left it on the tub…” He covers his mouth with his hand and I shake my head angrily and try to come up with some kind of lie to tell Liam, some reason as to why there would be a used condom in our bathroom, other than the fact that we had sex there not even a half an hour ago, but my mind goes blank.

I can hear the toilet flush and a few seconds later Liam is exiting the bathroom, a concerned look on his face as he waits for an answer. He looks back and forth from Harry to me but neither of us says anything. In fact, Harry seems to suddenly find the hotel room carpet extremely interesting because he won’t tear his eyes away from it.

Liam shoves his hands in his pockets and says, “Please tell me you guys didn’t bring fans back here. We all talked about this and agreed it’s _such_ a bad idea—”

“We didn’t bring any fans back here.” Harry answers matter-of-factly, finally looking Liam straight in the eye and I feel my stomach drop.

It only takes a moment for realization to hit Liam and his mouth drops open as if to say ‘ohhhh’, but then he clears his throat and pulls his hands out of his pockets, clasps them in front of himself and gives us his best fatherly look as he says, “Well, I’m glad you’re using condoms. That’s good. That’s…important.”

I look to Harry, hoping he’ll say something since he’s the one who’s gotten us into this mess, but his eyes are glued to the carpet below him again and I want to scream at him. I know this isn’t completely his fault but I feel like he’s leaving me alone to deal with Liam; like he just threw a grenade and now I have to deal with the aftermath.

I turn to Liam and say, “Look, I don’t want you to worry about this or give it too much thought, okay? It’s…it’s nothing. This thing between us,” I motion between myself and Harry and Harry is giving me a look that I can’t quite read, “We just…help each other out sometimes, you know? But it’s not…we’re not _together_ or anything.”

“No, it’s fine. I get it.” Liam says, thankfully cutting off my rambling, “Sometimes you get an itch that needs scratching. I understand. It’s fine, really.”

“Thanks, Li.” I nod and look to Harry again and see that he looks upset which makes me angry because if anyone has the right to be upset it’s me!

“Right, well, this is really awkward so I’m going to head on down to the lobby,” Liam says as he reaches for the door, “You two should hurry; you know how mad Paul gets when he has to wait.”

“We’ll be right down.” I answer and watch him walk out.

Once the door is closed I storm into the bathroom and see the bright blue condom sitting bunched up on the corner edge of the bathtub and I just want to yell at Harry, call him an irresponsible twat, but instead I grab a wad of toilet paper and use it to pick up the condom. I throw it into the rubbish bin with a little more force than necessary, trying to get out a little of the aggression that I’m suddenly feeling, and when I turn and see Harry standing in the doorway, I tell him, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Whoa, calm down.”

“Calm down? You basically just outed us to Liam!”

“I didn’t mean to! Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He steps into the bathroom and places his hand on my arm but I shrug him off.

“You’re sorry? Well, that doesn’t do us a whole lot of good, does it.”

“Why are you so mad?” He asks as he follows me out of the bathroom. “And by the way, I wasn’t exactly the only one in that shower, Lou. _You_ could’ve thrown the condom away.”

I turn to look at him, pointing a finger into his chest. “Everyone knows that the person _wearing_ the condom is the person responsible for _disposing_ of the condom.”

“I did dispose of it, onto the side of the bathtub.” He answers with a smirk, apparently trying to lighten the mood, but I shake my head.

“This isn’t funny, Harry! I’m actually really mad about this!”

“Oh, come on. It was a dumb mistake! Like you’ve never made a mistake before?”

“Of course I have, but…why did you have to tell Liam? Why couldn’t you just say that we were making water balloons or something?”

“Well, why didn’t _you_ say that? I didn’t exactly hear you trying to come up with anything; you just stood there!”

“I was trying to come up with something!”

“Sometimes it’s okay to tell the truth. And besides, it’s _Liam_. If I had to pick someone who’s least likely to say anything about us, it’d be Liam.”

“That’s not the point!” I shout and Harry’s shoulders slump and he looks so sad that I actually feel bad for a moment for getting so angry with him. I sigh with exasperation and walk towards the door, mumbling, “We have to get going, I can’t talk to you right now.”

“Lou, I’m _sorry_.” I hear him say behind me but I ignore him and open the door.

Zayn is standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall opposite our room, looking like he just rolled out of bed. (Probably because he did.) He furrows his brows together and asks, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. How much of that did you hear?”

He shrugs and answers, “I heard some yelling. Couldn’t really make out what you were yelling about. You sure everything’s alright?”

“Yeah.” I see Andy and Niall waiting for us at the end of the hallway so I start to walk towards them. “We should go.”

I hear Harry exiting our hotel room but don’t turn around. I know that I’m probably blowing this out of proportion; Harry’s right when he says that Liam is the person least likely to say anything to the rest of the guys but I still feel uneasy about the whole thing. 

I might have to keep my distance from Harry for the next few days. The question is, can I?

~ End Chapter Three ~


	4. Olive Branch

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/?action=view&current=strawberryvanilla.jpg)

Harry…

The last few days have passed in a blur; we had only one day to ourselves in between shows, which Zayn and Louis spent sleeping, Niall and Liam spent relaxing by the pool and I spent shopping alone. Well, alone with Paul, which is basically like being alone because he wouldn’t give in to any of my attempts at chatting him up. It’s not that he’s unfriendly, he’s just _all business_ when we’re out in public, so he couldn’t be bothered to help me pick out new jeans and beanies.

Now we’re on our way to Toronto for two shows and I can’t even tell you how sick I am of being on this bus. We always try to make it as fun as possible; so far during this trip we’ve played a round of “Marshmallow Karaoke”, where we have to sing a song with our mouth filled with marshmallows, which is always laugh-inducing, (not to mention drool-inducing), but we had to quit a bit earlier than normal because Niall almost choked on a marshmallow and we decided it would be an extremely humiliating way to die. (Can you imagine the headlines?!)

Next, we spent quite a bit of time playing Apples to Apples, another fun way to pass the time, as well as get to know each other even better than we already did. And now we’re just relaxing and waiting for the next rest stop so that we can get out of this bus and walk around for a minute.

Zayn’s lounging on the couch with me; he’s got a pillow on his lap and my arm resting on top of it so that he can draw some artwork onto me with an ink pen. I haven’t been paying much attention to what he’s drawing, preferring instead to rest my head against the back of the couch with my eyes closed. Zayn’s a really good artist and I trust him not to draw anything hideously embarrassing on me. Plus, it just feels good, like when someone plays with my hair. (I’ve always been a sucker for that.) It’s got me in such a relaxed state that I’m a little irritated when Niall sits down next to me and shoves one of his earbuds in my ear.

“Here, listen to this.” He says and plugs the other earbud into his own ear then hits ‘play’.

I listen to the beginning of the song; it sounds like Justin Beiber but I don’t recognize the song. The sheer delight on Niall’s face is enough to make me smile, though, and when he says “Good, innit?” I nod and try my best to look impressed.

Zayn moves up to work on my inner arm, twisting it so that he can draw next to my star tattoo, and I try not to giggle but can’t help myself.

“Tickles?” He asks and I nod.

“Yeah, a little. Feels good at the same time though; it’s so weird.”

“You gonna get another tattoo? A real one, I mean. Something next to the star?”

“Dunno,” I answer, “I’ve been thinkin’ about maybe gettin’ a saying or something.”

Zayn smiles but doesn’t take his eyes away from whatever he’s drawing as he says, “Don’t Stop Believin’?”

I huff out a laugh and reply, “Nah, but something…I dunno. I’ll have to think about it.”

He nods. “I’ll help you. We can come up with something together.”

“Yeah, okay.” I answer then feel Niall nudging me.

“You listening? This part’s really good.” He asks and turns the volume up so that I can hear a pretty impressive breakdown of the chorus.

“I’m listening.” I tell him but I kind of want to tell him to go away so that I can enjoy the feeling of Zayn drawing on my arm in peace. I would never want to hurt his feelings though; Niall’s just too much of a sweetheart so I listen to his song and bob my head along to the beat. 

When the song ends, Niall pulls his earbud out and I remove mine as well and hand it to him as I say, “That was good.”

“It’s so good, right?” Niall answers excitedly, “Aw man, we gotta collaborate with him someday. Can you imagine?”

“It would certainly sell a lot of albums.”

“It would be epic! Maybe he could teach me some dance moves.”

“Calm down, Niall,” Zayn says with a laugh, “You’re gonna have to change your panties in a minute.”

“Why’s Niall gonna have to change his panties?” Louis asks as he walks from the bunk area and sits on the couch opposite from us.

“He wants to collaborate with Justin Beiber,” I explain and Niall stands up.

“We _have_ to work with him soon, don’t you think, Louis?”

“I don’t know if the teenage girls of the world could handle that, mate.” Louis says as he runs his fingers through his hair.

The bus makes a wide turn, pulling off of the freeway, and Niall almost falls over. Zayn looks out the window and announces, “Petrol station.”

“They’ve got a 24 hour Snack Shop!” Louis adds, looking out his own window.

Once we’ve stopped, Paul runs from his bus and jumps on board ours to tell us, “We’re stopping to fuel up; if you want to go into the Snack Shop for something, I’ll go in with you.”

Without hesitation, all five of us jump up and scramble for our shoes, except for Liam who jumps off of the bus in his socks, not waiting for the rest of the group. I almost ask Paul why Liam gets to go without an escort but I know he’ll just say “because he’s _Liam_ ” so I don’t bother.

I tug my trainers on without untying them and exit the bus then walk towards the Snack Shop with Niall. Paul follows closely behind us and I look over my shoulder to tell him, “I seriously doubt we’ll be attacked by fans here; it’s the middle of the night and no one even knows where we are.”

“You never know, Harry. You never know.” He answers simply and I leave it alone because I suppose he’s right…our fans have been known to do some pretty crazy shit so I wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow tracked us down in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere!

Once we’re inside I circle the shelves, trying to find something to snack on but nothing really sounds good. I round a corner and see Liam looking at a candy rack, holding two bags in his hand.

“What’cha got?” I ask him and he holds up the two bags so I can see.

“Gummy Bears and Peach Rings.” He says proudly.

“Sounds good. Haven’t tried the Peach Rings before.”

“Niall recommended them; says they’re amazing.”

“Well, Niall would know.” I answer with a laugh and continue to look around.

Suddenly I see a big plastic ice cream cone on the wall next to a colorful menu and my eyes widen with delight. “Look, they have swirly cones!” I say enthusiastically, “Hey Liam, give me some money.”

“Give you some money? Harry, how is it that you never seem to have cash on you when we go into places like this?” Liam asks.

“How is it that you never have _shoes_ when we go into places like this?” I reply and we both look down at his sock-covered feet. “You probably don’t even want to know what’s on these floors.”

“C’mere, Harry.” Louis calls to me and I see that he’s standing at the ice cream station so I walk towards him as he says, “What flavor do you want? I’ll buy.”

“Thanks, Lou.” I look up at the menu then tell the man behind the counter, “I’ll take a strawberry, vanilla swirl, please.”

“Small, medium or large?” He asks.

“Um…medium’s fine.” I answer and he nods then looks to Louis who orders a medium chocolate, vanilla swirl.

As the man prepares our cones, I bump Louis with my shoulder playfully and he wraps an arm around me and squeezes. It’s the most physical contact we’ve had since our fight, aside from when we’ve had to pose for pictures, and it feels really nice so I lean into him even more, resting my head on his shoulder. 

Things between Louis and I have been a bit strained for the past few days but we’ve been too busy to really sit down and talk about it. Honestly, I don’t know what I would even say to him because I’m sort of confused about my own feelings lately. 

I guess, in the back of my mind, I’ve always known that if Louis told me he wanted to be with me, I would jump at the chance. And maybe I’ve even been secretly hoping that it might happen for us one day; that our friendship, or this “friends with benefits” thing that we’ve got happening, would become more. So to hear him say definitively that “this is nothing”, and to be so adamant about pointing out that we’re not together, as if even the mere thought of it was ludicrous, hurt me more than I could even comprehend. 

The man behind the counter hands me my cone and I thank him before taking a lick and sighing with contentment.

Louis pays for both of our ice creams then takes his cone and tells me, “C’mon. Let’s go to the bus and wait for everyone.”

We walk outside together and see Zayn standing by the bus, smoking a cigarette and talking to Andy, who’s guarding the door of our bus as if a gaggle of fans is suddenly going to show up and storm the place. He moves out of the way so that Louis and I can enter and once we’re inside, I sit down on the couch and Louis flops down next to me and kicks his shoes off.

He sits sideways on the couch and buries his bare feet under my thigh then gives his ice cream a few licks and says, “I don’t like it when we fight, Haz.”

“I don’t like it either.” I lick a wide strip around the side of my ice cream, catching a few drops that were about to fall before asking, “Is this swirly cone an apology?”

“An apology? What for?” He asks with an amused smile.

“Because you yelled at me.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry about that.”

I nod and tell him, “It’s okay. I yelled, too.”

I take a few more licks from my cone, lost in thought for a moment, and Louis wiggles his toes under my thigh and says, “What else is on your mind? Let’s get it all out now.”

“Well, I…I guess I have been a bit bothered by something else you said.”

“What’d I say? Tell me.” 

Before I can answer, Niall and Liam are bounding onto the bus, bags in hand, and Zayn follows shortly after. Zayn sits down in the chair across from us and pulls out his phone to start texting someone while Niall and Liam flop down on the floor and start to rummage through their bags.

“How’s the ice cream?” Niall asks, pulling out a bag of crisps.

“S’good,” I tell him, “Kind of wish I’d gotten chocolate though. Not that the strawberry’s bad, it’s just…the chocolate looks _really_ good.” I bat my eyelashes at Louis and he rolls his eyes and holds out his cone.

“Wanna trade?” He asks and I smile and hand him my cone while grabbing his and taking a lick from it.

He takes a big lick of the strawberry ice cream and gives an impressed nod as he says, “That’s actually really good.”

Niall wrinkles his nose and says, “Ewww. You guys are gross.”

“Why are we gross?” Louis asks.

“Because…he was licking all over that and you were licking all over yours and now you’re switching, which means you’re basically swapping spit!”

Louis and I both have to fight to keep from laughing and Liam smirks at us knowingly as he tears open one of his packages of candy. If only Niall knew about the marathon make-out sessions Louis and I have shared, he wouldn’t be so horrified about us switching swirly cones. (Actually, he probably would.)

We watch Liam and Niall sorting out their snacks for a few more moments before Louis nudges me with his foot to get my attention. When I look at him, he mouths, “Let’s go to the back.”

I nod and we both stand up as Louis says quietly to Liam, “We’ll be right back; I need to discuss something with Harry.”

“Okie doke.” Liam answers with his mouth full and gives us a little wink once he sees that Niall’s not watching.

Louis and I walk all the way to the back of the bus where there’s a small space that can be closed off by an accordion door. Louis slides it closed and we sit on the small sofa together, Louis with his body turned to face me, his legs draped over the top of mine.

“So…what were you about to say before?” He asks then takes a big lick around his ice cream as he waits for my response.

I look down at my own ice cream, hesitating to say anything because I feel a bit silly, like maybe it’s not even worth it to bring it up. Louis wiggles his legs to give me a little shake and says, “Spill it, Styles. Something’s obviously bothering you so…out with it.”

I finally look at him and tell him, “You said I didn’t mean anything to you.”

He scrunches up his face in horror. “When on earth did I say that?”

“When Liam was in our room, after he found the condom and you were trying to explain things—”

“I didn’t say _you_ didn’t mean anything; I said this thing between us.”

“I don’t see how that’s much better.”

“I meant the sex, Harry.” He says quietly, “The sex is just sex, it doesn’t mean anything. I would never say _you_ meant nothing to me because that would be complete rubbish.”

I look down again, not feeling comforted so Louis moves closer and whispers, “I just…I didn’t want Liam to worry. You know how he over-thinks everything.”

I nod slowly and lick my ice cream, mostly so I won’t have to talk.

“You know how much I care about you; you’re my _best friend_.” Louis continues, “My best friend who I occasionally like to poke in the rear with my enormous prick.”

This makes me laugh, a genuine head-thrown-back laugh. Then I say, “Enormous, huh? Giving yourself a lot of credit there.”

He gasps as if he’s offended. “Are you saying it’s not enormous?”

“It is actually quite impressive.”

“Damn right it is.” He smiles proudly and licks his ice cream and I just have to laugh. How can ever I stay mad at him?

“So…are we okay, Curly?” He asks after a few moments of companionable silence.

“Yeah,” I reply, “We’re alright.”

“Good.” He looks at the door quickly then leans forward to kiss me so I tilt my head a little and allow him to pull me closer.

His fingers tangle in the back of my hair as we deepen the kiss and I push myself against him as much as I can. The angle is all wrong and my ice cream is dripping onto my wrist but it doesn’t matter; I’ve missed this, even if it’s only been a few days.

He slowly pulls his mouth away from mine and whispers, “You’re gonna get it so good when we get to Toronto.”

“Promises, promises.” I say with a smile then brush our lips together one last time before we both stand up.

The bus’s engine rumbles to life again just as Louis opens the accordion door and we have to fight a bit to keep our balance as we make our way to the front of the bus. Liam and Zayn are trying to pick out a movie and Niall is sitting in a chair, eating crisps and Peach Rings. 

When he sees us, Niall says, “Oh good, you can help us pick something out. Liam wants to watch Toy Story 3 again.”

“No, definitely not.” Louis says, looking pointedly at Liam.

“But it’s such a good movie.” Liam answers, “You just don’t like it ‘cause it makes you cry.”

“It does make me cry, I’ll admit it.” Louis says as he walks to the cabinet where we keep our DVDs. “But we’ve watched it fifty gajillion times already so let’s pick something else.”

They decide on Notting Hill because “Julia Roberts is beautiful and Hugh Grant is a pimp” and we all settle in to watch.

Louis and I sprawl out together on the couch, just like we always do when we’re watching a movie on the bus, and before we reach the end of the movie he falls asleep behind me with his nose buried in my hair, snoring softly against the back of my neck.

On the screen, Julia Roberts is teary-eyed as she says to Hugh Grant, “I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” 

I feel my own eyes tearing up a little because I know that things rarely work out the way that they do in movies.

~ End Chapter Four ~


	5. Stake Your Claim

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/Beautiful%20People/?action=view&current=inbedblr.jpg)

Louis…

The Toronto crowd was absolutely amazing and incredibly loud; my ears are still ringing a bit, even in the relative quiet of our hotel room. The adrenaline high from the show hasn’t quite worn off yet either and I can’t seem to stop my legs from bouncing as I sit on the plush chair in the hotel room and talk to my friend Stan on the phone. He tells me what’s been going on back home, who’s dating who and what restaurants he’s been to recently and it’s just nice to hear what a “normal” day sounds like because it’s been so long since I’ve had one.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s and I certainly realize how lucky I am to be where I am at my age; it can just be overwhelming at times. It’s nice to hear a voice from the past, a little reminder that I haven’t always been “Louis from One Direction”; I’m just a boy from Doncaster who got incredibly lucky.

Harry comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered and wearing nothing but a fluffy white bathrobe. He looks amazingly sexy, all long legs and wet curls framing his face; I lick my lips as I stare at him and he smiles a bit smugly and saunters over to me.

He points at my phone and mouths, “Your mum?”

I shake my head and mouth back, “Stan.”

If I’d been talking to my mum, Harry wouldn’t have hesitated to take the phone from me so that he could say hello to her. He’s always had a good relationship with my mother, and I adore his mum as well, (and not just because she’s extremely beautiful), so it’s not unusual for him to steal the phone away and have a chat with her.

Harry bends down to shake his hair over me and I feel a few droplets hit my face. I reach up to halfheartedly swat him away then wrap my fingers in his hair and pull him down so that I can kiss him.

Suddenly I realize Stan has finished his story when he asks, “Hey, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I was just listening to you.” I say as I unwind my fingers from Harry’s hair. “So, what’s going on with Karen? She found a job yet?”

“She’s had a few, actually, but she has an issue with showing up on time.”

“I’ve heard employers frown upon that so I can see how that might be a problem.”

“Yeah, so she’s looking for work again.” Stan starts in on another story and I try to listen but it’s incredibly difficult because Harry has decided to stand by the bed and put lotion on.

He starts with his arms, pushing the sleeves of his robe up high enough to reach his elbows, before moving on to his legs. He turns so that his back is towards me and bends over to rub the lotion on his calves and shins then looks at me seductively as he works some lotion onto his thighs and slowly slides the material of his robe up far enough to reveal his bare ass.

Bending over a little farther, he wiggles his hips and I bite my bottom lip and shake my head at him, wishing he would stop because it’s a little awkward to get a boner while talking to Stan.

“So, how’re things with you? You gettin’ a ton of pussy or what?” Stan asks and I almost laugh. 

“Oh yeah, I’m drowning in it. Can barely breathe there’s so much pussy surrounding me.” I reply and Harry snorts out a laugh.

“I thought so. Tell me about it!”

“I was just joking! It’s not really…we don’t really have time for anything like that. We move around so much, you know? And security watches us like a hawk, so—”

“Aw man, that’s not what I wanna hear. I wanna hear stories about a different hot chick in each city! This is the time for you to take advantage!”

I laugh a little and tell him, “Oh yeah, and get herpes or get some groupie pregnant and ruin everything? No thank you.”

“Well, if you’re careful, those things won’t happen.” He says and I’m tempted to hang up because I’m really not enjoying this conversation any longer. (Or at the very least I want to tell him that when _he_ becomes a pop star, he can fuck all the girls he wants.)

“You still there?” He asks and I make a noise in the affirmative so he says, “Okay, okay. So you don’t want to talk about chicks, I get it. Jeez, Tomlinson, you really make me wonder sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” He says slowly, “I’ve seen all of that Larry Stylinson shit on the internet. Now I’m starting to wonder if there’s something to it.”

“What are you talking about?” I say with a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Harry sits down on the ottoman in front of me, between my knees, and starts to run his hands along my legs, up into the bottom of my boxers, and I wonder if this could be considered irony; Harry doing his best to seduce me while I do my best to deny the realness of Larry Stylinson to one of my friends back home.

“Well if I were you,” Stan says, “I would just tell people straight out, you know? Tell them it’s rubbish and they need to stop. But it’s almost like you two encourage it…”

Stan continues his rant while Harry works his hand completely into my boxers and licks his lips as he starts to stroke me. I have to close my eyes because it feels so good, I’m pretty sure all of the blood has rushed into my cock, and I can’t form complete sentences when Harry is looking at me in _that way_.

When Stan finishes, I tell him, “Look, the fans are just having some fun. I don’t see the harm in it.” 

Before he can say anything else, I tell him that I have to go because “something has come up” and I open my eyes when I hear Harry laughing.

“Alright, well, don’t be a stranger.” Stan says before hanging up and I hang up as well and set my phone down on the arm of the chair.

“Something has definitely come up.” Harry says as he continues to stroke me. He waits a few moments before asking, “So, how’s Stan?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” I lean forward and skim my fingertips down the side of his neck to his collarbone, then slide the material of his robe down so that his shoulder is exposed. “C’mere.” I tell him quietly and he lets go of my dick so that he can climb onto my lap, straddling me, squeezing his legs in on either side of mine in the chair.

He slides his fingers into my hair, tilting my head back so that he can kiss me and I happily oblige. I wrap my arms around his waist as our tongues brush together and I can feel his body heat through his robe, making my arousal grow even more. I briefly wonder if Stan would be able to resist Harry if he were to crawl onto his lap like this, (I don’t think many people would), but quickly push the thought from my mind because I’ve got much better things to concentrate on.

I pull my lips away from Harry’s so that I can kiss down his neck then suck the skin just above his collarbone a little harder than I probably should, and I can feel his erection sticking out of his robe, poking me in the stomach as he ruts against me.

He tells me breathlessly, “God, Lou, if you don’t take me to bed right now, I might explode.”

“Can’t have that now, can we? How would we finish the tour without you?”

“I’m sure you could find another boy to sing with.” He says with a shrug.

“No one could ever replace you.” I reply a bit quicker than I mean to so I clear my throat and add, “After all, where are we ever going to find another curly-haired boy with four nipples?”

He laughs and says, “True. We are pretty rare.”

“Speaking of which…” I say as I untie his robe and slowly pull the material open, like unwrapping a present. I suck one of his nipples into my mouth, sliding my hands around his waist again, this time under the robe, and he moans and wraps his arms more tightly around my shoulders.

I scrunch myself down a little so that I can reach his two lower nipples and he leans back a little to give me better access. I gently pull one nubbin between my teeth and look up to ask him, “Feel good?”

“Uh huh.” He answers with a gasp. “Not as good as my other nipples, but still good.”

“You know,” I say as I move my mouth to the lowest nipple, “I’d never met anyone with four nipples before I met you.”

“Oh yeah?”

I nod. “I thought it was a little weird at first, but now,” I flick my tongue over the nub, “I really like them.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad you’re enjoying them. I’m kind of fond of them myself.” He continues to rut against me, “And they are a gift from my twin brother, so…”

I stop sucking and look up at him to say, “So…I’m basically sucking on your twin’s tits?”

“Yep. But don’t worry, he likes it!” He replies with a laugh.

“You’re gonna get it for that one!” I wiggle my fingers into his armpits, making him laugh even more, then push myself up from the chair and pick him up, wrapping his legs around me to carry him with me to the bed. 

I plop him onto his back sideways on the bed and crawl on top of him, keeping myself propped up so that my hands are resting on either side of his head and I just hover for a moment, looking down at him. His skin is flushed, wet hair sticking out all over and eyes blazing green as he smiles up at me. My heart suddenly feels too full with affection for him; I almost want to roll away from him, off of the bed and towards the door so that I can run as far away as possible.

He reaches up to run his fingers through my hair and I kiss his wrist, catching a glimpse of ink from where Zayn drew on his arm.

“Let me see what Zayn drew on you.” I say and maneuver his arm so that I can see it better.

“Well, I washed most of it off in the shower.” He says as he pulls his arm out of the sleeve of his robe, “But there’s a little that I couldn’t quite get to come off.” He points to his elbow and then his inner wrist, where there’s a faint drawing of what looks like a spider web.

I trace a fingertip over the web and say, “You like it when he draws on you, huh? Like being his human canvas?”

He shrugs a little and says quietly, “It feels good.”

I kiss his wrist again and start to work my way up his arm, alternating between kissing and licking as I say, “He sure seems to like drawing on you. This isn’t the first time he’s done it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was trying to get into your pants.”

He laughs and says, “I seriously doubt it. Although, if he _were_ trying to get into my pants, I certainly wouldn’t stop him.”

“Is that right?” I bite his arm gently, right below his star tattoo.

“Yeah, have you seen his bone structure?”

“He is quite fetching.”

“You jealous?” He asks with amusement and I huff out a laugh.

“Jealous of Zayn? Certainly not.” I continue to kiss and lick his arm; his skin is so soft and warm, I just can’t seem to get enough so I lick a wide path over his tattoo then suck the skin there and he laughs.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“You taste so good,” I answer, “I just want to eat you.”

He wiggles his eyebrows as he says, “You know, if you’re looking for something to lick, I’ve got something down here for you.”

He pushes his hips up but I shake my head. “Oh no you don’t; I blew you _and_ let you fuck me last time so you owe me _big time_.”

He bites his bottom lip, looking up at the ceiling in thought then says, “Well, I already gave you my bum virginity, what more can I give?”

I smile proudly. “Oh yeah, I did get your bum virginity. And I’m the only one that’s had it, right?”

“Had my bum?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, Lou. You’re the only one.” He tells me and my smile widens.

“That’s nice, I like that.” I press my nose against his and grind our hips together as I say, “I like that I’m the only one that’s been there.”

“You’re proud of that, are you?” Harry asks breathlessly.

“I am pretty proud of it.”

“You want to plant a flag up there? Stake your claim?”

This makes me laugh out loud then I reply, “I actually _would_. Will you let me?”

“It might hurt. Might get stuck on my underwear.”

I bite down gently on his arm again then lick over the spot and he laughs as he tries to squirm away and says, “Stop, that’s enough! You are so weird.”

“ _I’m_ weird? _You’re_ the one who wants a flag up your arse.” I answer and he throws his head back with laughter.

His neck looks too tempting so I lower down to kiss it and he places his hands on my hips, trying to push my boxers down as he says quietly, “Well, I don’t want a flag up there but I do want something.”

“Yeah? What might that be?”

“You. I want you.” He gasps against my ear and I feel another surge between my legs.

“Well, since you put it that way…roll over.”

~*~

Harry…

I pull my other arm out of my robe and turn over to crawl towards the pillows while Louis climbs off of the bed and walks to where his bag is sitting on the floor by the bathroom. I push the comforter and sheets aside and make myself comfortable on my stomach, pushing my hips into the mattress, rubbing my cock against the soft sheets because it feels really nice.

Louis comes back to the bed and gives my butt a gentle smack as he tells me, “Stop that or you’ll spill your gravy too soon.”

I smile and stop moving my hips and Louis crawls onto the bed beside me after placing a condom and a bottle of lube on the nightstand; he’s naked now and I’m happy to see that he’s just as hard as I am. 

He grabs a pillow and tells me, “Lift up a little.”

I lift my hips so that he can slide the pillow underneath me, propping my ass up, and I laugh as I tell him, “Now I _really_ won’t be able to keep still.”

“You can do it, love. I have faith.” He grabs the lube and squirts some onto his fingers then says, “Spread your legs a bit more.”

I close my eyes and push my knees apart, desperately trying not to push my dick into the pillow because I know what he’s about to do. He smoothes one hand down my back then follows the path with his lips as he rubs his lubed fingers between my butt cheeks, gently pressing against my hole, and I’m practically vibrating I’m so turned on.

“Lou, please.” I whisper and he finally pushes a finger into me, still kissing along my back.

I let out a long breath and try to keep my muscles relaxed as he works the finger in and out and I can’t help but to rut my hips against the pillow beneath me.

“Ready for more?” He asks against my lower back and I quickly nod so he removes the one finger then circles my hole a few times before pushing two fingers inside, making me grunt and hug the pillow under my head.

He slowly works his fingers in and out and asks, “Good?”

“Really good.” I manage to gasp and push myself back onto him until he moves his fingers a little faster.

“You look so hot like this.” He says quietly, twisting his fingers and making me moan.

I know I could come just like this, just with his fingers inside me, but I want more. I want _him_. I’m just about to tell him that but I don’t need to because he pulls his fingers out and moves his body so that he’s between my legs, his knees right next to mine, pushing my legs further apart.

Keeping my eyes closed, I listen as he opens the condom wrapper and then it’s quiet for a moment as he puts the condom on. The squirt of the lube comes next and I feel the cool liquid run down my crack before he readjusts himself above me, spreading my cheeks open and slowly pushing his cock inside.

I let out a shaky moan and fist the sheets below me, loving the burn of that first push in. Louis slides his hands down my back then holds my hips as he fucks into me and I’m completely lost, moaning loudly and clinging to the sheets.

After a while Louis moves up, placing his hands on the bed next to my head, and pushes into me a little harder, making my eyes roll back. I rock my hips into the pillow and listen to Louis’ breathing and the little grunting moans that he makes. He leans down to kiss my back and I reach a hand down between my legs so that I can try to hold my orgasm off somehow because I’m not sixteen anymore and I want to prove that I have at least an ounce of self control.

Louis kisses his way up to my ear and whispers against it, “Wanna turn over?”

I nod and he pulls out of me so that I can roll over onto my back and we work together to adjust the pillow under my butt before he scoots forward on his knees and holds my legs open so that he can enter me again. He slides his hands along the inside of my legs and watches himself thrusting into me, his face a mixture of fascination and ecstasy and I know I should try not to moan so loud, since Liam is in the room next to ours, but I can’t help it. It’s just too good.

He slides one hand to my cock and starts to stroke me but I place my hand over his and swallow hard before gasping out, “I’ll be done if you do that.”

“It’s okay,” He says as he bends forward to kiss me then whispers, “Come for me, I want to feel you.”

And holy shit, if that doesn’t completely put me over the edge… I hook my legs up a little higher on his hips and hold onto his shoulders, letting my head fall back on the pillow and my toes curl as my orgasm spills out between our bodies. 

Everything goes white for a few moments and when I finally open my eyes again, my body is still shaking and Louis is smiling down at me and stroking me lazily as he says, “You okay?”

All I can do is nod and he laughs a little then kisses me, burying his tongue in my mouth as he starts to move his hips again. I let my hands slide up and down his back and try to tighten myself around him as much as I can until I feel him coming. 

He kisses my neck as he continues to thrust into me slowly, hanging onto those last moments of pleasure, then collapses completely on top of me and I push his sweaty hair away from his face and turn my head to kiss his forehead and his nose. I want so badly to tell him I love him but he keeps his eyes closed and I bite my bottom lip, something inside of me telling me not to fuck things up.

“I really need a shower,” He finally says and pulls himself away from me, slipping the condom off before standing up from the bed. He rounds the corner to walk into the bathroom then pokes his head out again and says, “Hey, Harry?”

“Yeah?” I answer, feeling something like hope bubbling up in my chest.

“That was, like, at least in our top ten greatest fucks. Am I right?” He asks with a smile and I force myself to smile back.

“At least. Maybe top five.” I reply and he nods and disappears into the bathroom for a shower.

It wasn’t exactly what I was hoping he’d say but it’s as much as he’s ready to give me, I guess, and I just have to find a way to be okay with that.

~ End Chapter Five ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos! I really appreciate it. :)


	6. Love Bites

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=23320488_Hickey_x.jpg)

Harry…

“Louis! Get in here!” I call out from the bathroom as I look in the mirror and a few seconds later Louis appears in the doorway.

“For crying out loud, why are you yelling?” He asks and I turn away from the mirror to face him, tilting my head to the side and pointing to my neck.

“Look what you did! I swear I’m going to kill you.”

His eyes widen and his eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline as he looks at the giant hickey just above my collarbone but he quickly schools his face and says, “What, that little thing? That’s…it’s hardly even noticeable.”

“Like fuckin’ hell it is.”

“Calm down; we give each other love bites all the time. I just gave Liam one the other day.”

“Well, this one is a little different, innit?” I say, turning back to look in the mirror, “This is clearly more than a love bite. And we’ve got interviews all morning.”

“Maybe you could wear a scarf today?”

“It’s Summer and it’s hot out; I can’t wear a scarf!”

“Okay, okay.” Louis says, holding his hands out in front of him, “Lemme go see if I can find some makeup or something.”

“I’m not wearing makeup, Lou. Are you mental?”

“Not _makeup_ makeup, just that…concealer stuff, you know?”

I sigh. “Okay, fine.”

There’s a knock on our door and I feel a rush of panic, thinking it’s Paul already here to collect us for our morning interviews but when Louis opens the door, I see that it’s just Liam and manage to calm down a little.

“Hey, Li.” Louis says as he allows Liam to enter and closes the door behind him. “Do you know where we can get some concealer?”

“Concealer?” Liam asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, like the stuff that they put under our eyes sometimes,” I explain, keeping my body turned so that he hopefully won’t see my neck, “Like when we have dark circles?”

Louis chimes in, “Harry’s got a zit he wants to cover.”

I almost tell him to fuck off for that comment but Liam speaks before I can. He points to my neck and says, “Oh, I thought he might need it for that giant hickey on his neck.”

Louis laughs and I lean forward to punch him in the arm but he moves away too quickly. I step back and tell Liam as nonchalantly as possible, “Yeah, so…Louis gave me a love bite.”

“I see that,” Liam replies, “And from all the moaning coming from your room last night, I’d say he gave you a lot more than that.”

My mouth drops open and my eyes widen; I knew that I’d been kind of loud the night before but I was really hoping that Liam hadn’t heard anything. Now I’m absolutely horrified, thinking about what he must’ve heard. I look to Louis for help but he’s too busy covering his face with his hands as he breaks into laughter.

I manage to snap my mouth closed then tell Liam, “I’m so sorry about that, mate.”

“S’okay.” He shrugs. “I just put on my headphones after a while. It’s a bit awkward knowing your friends are shagging in the next room.” He looks at Louis, who’s still laughing into his hands, then back to me again and quickly adds, “Not that I have a problem with it. I’m fine with you two…doing it. I really am.”

I can feel the heat on my cheeks and I shake my head a little and tell Liam, “Thanks. You’re a good friend, Li.”

Louis finally uncovers his face and clears his throat as he pats Liam on the shoulder and says, “Yeah, so, will you help me find some makeup for Harry?”

“Okay.” Liam answers and opens the door to walk out then turns to wait for Louis to put his shoes on. 

The two of them walk out of the room and I look at my neck one more time in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom to look through my clothes for a high-collared shirt.

My phone alerts me to a text so I pull it out of my pocket and open it. Gemma has sent me a new picture; this one is a drawing and it’s quite graphic, with me and Louis making out on a couch, both completely naked.

I huff out a laugh and type my reply, _“Good one but why did they make my hands so big?”_

Her reply comes a moment later, _“I know, they’re enormous! It loses points for that for sure. I’ll give it a 5.”_

I start to type another reply but change my mind and decide to call her instead. She answers on the first ring and says, “What’s wrong? You okay?”

I laugh a little. “Yeah, why?”

“Because we usually text each other; I can’t remember the last time you actually _called_ me.”

“Is it okay that I called?” I ask and sit down on the bed.

“Of course! It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice. Other than on the radio, obviously.”

“Yeah, I know.” I tell her, suddenly feeling emotional, “I miss you, Gem.”

“Aww, Harry. I miss you too.” She says sweetly then adds, “Now seriously, what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” I tell her with a laugh, “Can’t a guy call his big sister and say something completely soppy?”

She sighs and tells me, “Of course you can, any time you want to.”

“Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now tell me, is it girl trouble?”

I laugh again because she’s never let me get away with anything so why should she start now? “It’s definitely not girl trouble.” I tell her then take a deep breath, wondering if I should just go ahead and tell her everything but then again, where do I even start? What would I say, that I think I’m in love with my best friend, who I happen to be fucking on a regular basis, but I don’t think he loves me back? No thank you! Just the thought of saying those words to her is humiliating.

There are very few people I feel I can actually trust in this world and my sister is definitely one of them but I don’t feel like it’s the right time or place so I finally tell her, “I’m okay; just wanted to hear a friendly voice.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Feeling a bit homesick is all.”

It turns out I made the right decision not to say more than that because right at that moment, Louis and Liam come walking back into the room with smiles on their faces and Louis holds up a small makeup bottle.

I tell my sister, “I gotta go but I’ll call you again soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Gemma says then adds, “Hey Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m always here for you, you know that right?”

I close my eyes and smile. “Thanks, I needed that.”

“And Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re still an idiot.”

“I love you too, Gem.” I reply with a laugh before hanging up and shoving my phone back in my pocket, already feeling better.

Liam sits on the end of the bed and grabs the remote control so he can turn the television on and Louis motions for me to join him in the bathroom. Once we’re inside he holds up the small bottle of concealer and says, “I got it from Lisa. Told her you had a massive pimple to cover.”

“Thanks a lot.” I tell him sarcastically.

“Well, what should I have said?” He asks but doesn’t give me a chance to answer. He closes the lid on the toilet and says, “Here, sit.”

“Oh, you’re going to put it on me?”

“I figure it’s the least I can do. Sit!”

I sit down and Louis tilts my head up then tells me, “Turn this way a bit more so the light is on you.”

“You better not make me look like a clown.” I say as I twist around and he straddles my legs.

He tilts my head up again and opens the concealer then gathers some onto his middle finger and starts to dab it on my neck.

“I got you good, didn’t I?” He says quietly and I nod a little.

He’s being so gentle, it kind of tickles but also feels really good so I instantly relax.

“Everything okay with Gemma?” He asks and I realize he must’ve heard the last part of my phone call.

“Yeah, everything’s good.” I answer, letting my eyes scan over his face. His skin is a lovely bronze from being in the sun and it makes his blue eyes stand out even more. My stomach flutters and without thinking, I say, “You’re really beautiful, you know that?”

“Yeah, right.” He frowns at me and scoffs then looks to the doorway and back at me again as he says, “Be careful with that sentimental bullshit, would you?”

“Liam can’t hear me; he’s got the telly on. And besides, I can pay a friend a compliment, can’t I?”

“Not one like that.”

I take this as a challenge and call out to the other room, “Hey, Liam?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re really beautiful.”

“Thank you, Hazza. I think you’re lovely as well.” He replies almost instantly.

“Thanks, mate.” I say and smile up at Louis.

He laughs and tells me, “You’re an idiot.”

“You’re the second person to tell me that today.”

“Don’t take it personally; I mean it with the utmost affection. Now stop moving.”

I can feel his fingers moving higher up on my neck, well past where the hickey is, so I ask, “How much of that stuff are you putting on?”

“I’m just trying to blend it. Don’t really know what I’m doing, to be honest.” 

There’s another knock on the door and Liam hollers, “I got it!” He runs to the door and opens it to allow Niall and Zayn to enter as he says, “Look, the gang’s all here!”

It’s not unusual for all of us to gather in one room, usually Liam or Niall’s, but it looks like this time _our_ room is the gathering spot. I just hope Paul figures out where we are before too long because he gets pretty mad when he has to go looking for us.

Niall is holding a huge pastry in one hand and a coffee cup in the other while Zayn just has coffee. They both stand in the doorway of the bathroom, watching us curiously, then Niall asks with his mouth full, “What’s goin’ on here?”

“Love bite got a bit out of control.” Liam explains simply and walks away to watch television again and Niall nods and takes another bite of his pastry.

“Where’d you get that?” I ask him because it looks really delicious.

“Breakfast buffet downstairs.” He answers, his eyes wide with excitement.

Zayn shakes his head and says, “He already ate a huge plate of food; eggs, bacon, hashbrowns—”

“The hashbrowns were incredible!” Niall interrupts, making all of us laugh. “They have sausage and waffles, too.”

“You ate all that and you’re still eating a pastry?” Louis asks and Niall gives him a look that says ‘what’s your point?’ 

He takes another bite of his pastry and asks, “Anyone want some?”

I reach a hand out. “Yeah, gimme a little.”

He hands it to me and I tear off a piece then hand it back and take a bite of the piece I tore off.

“Good, right?” Niall asks and I nod.

“Really good. I’ll have to go get some breakfast after this.” I reply and Louis grabs my hand and brings the small bit of pastry between my fingers to his mouth.

Before he lets my hand go, he licks the glaze from my fingertips, looking right at Niall, and says, “Mmm, that is good.”

Niall cringes and walks away, mumbling, “I’ll never understand you two.”

I laugh and wipe my hand on my jeans then tilt my head back again but Louis tells me, “I’m done. Take a look.”

I stand up and look in the mirror, shaking my head when I see that now I’ve got a huge pink-tinted splotch on my neck. “That’s it; I’m not leaving the hotel room. Just tell Paul I’m sick.”

“I tried my best.” Louis says with a sigh and sets the concealer bottle on the counter then walks out of the bathroom.

Zayn moves towards me and sets his coffee down then tells me, “Here, let me see if I can fix it.”

“No, I’m seriously not leaving the hotel room.” I tell him, “You guys will just have to do the interviews without me.”

“Stop being such a baby.” Zayn says and pushes my shoulders so that I sit down. He grabs a washcloth and wets it then tilts my head back and starts to gently wash my neck.

Louis appears in the doorway again and says, “I’m gonna go down to check out the breakfast buffet; do you want me to get you something?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry.” I answer, looking at him out of the corner of my eye so I don’t turn my head and disturb what Zayn is doing.

“What do you want?”

“Just…whatever you’re getting. Maybe we could share something. Oh, and get me some mixed fruit if they have it.”

“Fruit, okay. I’ll be right back.” Louis says and exits the hotel room.

Zayn sets the washcloth down and blows on my neck to dry it, which makes us both laugh for some reason. Then he runs a finger over the hickey and says, “Man, Louis did this to you?”

“Yep.” I answer, popping the ‘P’.

“Why didn’t you stop him? I mean, he’s given me love bites before too but this one is on a whole other level.”

I feel my cheeks flush with heat again, thinking about straddling Louis in the chair and grinding against him while he sucked on my neck and then my nipples. I clear my throat and say, “Can anyone stop Louis when he wants to do something?”

“True.” Zayn says and tilts his head as he starts to dab some concealer on my neck.

I shake my head. “It’s not going to work. We might as well face it.”

“Just let me try.” He answers quietly and I close my eyes and listen to Liam and Niall talking in the other room.

Liam tells Niall that his girlfriend is supposed to be coming to our concert in Chicago in a few days and he’s hoping she’ll be able to stay with him for more than just a couple of days. Danielle is a sweet girl, we’re all really fond of her, but it’s a bit awkward having her with us when we travel. We feel like we have to be on our best behavior, and what fun is that? But Liam deserves to be happy and Danielle makes him happy so I’m willing to put up with the momentary interruption in our group dynamic.

I open my eyes again when Zayn tells me, “There, I think it looks okay now.”

When I look in the mirror I see that he did a better job than Louis did; at least it’s blended properly, but it still looks a bit like I have a rash on my neck.

“Thanks, Zayn.” I say, knowing this is probably as good as it’s going to get.

We both walk out of the bathroom and Zayn joins Niall on the couch while I look through my clothes again until I find my blue, plaid button up shirt. The collar is somewhat high on it so I quickly change out of my t-shirt and pull the button up on, buttoning it all the way. I shake my hair forward and brush it to the side with my fingers then walk to the mirror to see how I look and decide it’s not so bad; most of the hickey is covered as long as I keep my head tucked and my shoulders up, so I’ll just have to lay low today as much as possible and hope no one notices.

A few minutes later Louis walks back into the hotel room, carrying two Styrofoam containers, one on top of the other, and two ketchup packets between his teeth.

I step forward to help him, taking the containers and placing them on the table and he places the ketchup packets down and says, “Don’t suppose we have any coffee made?”

“No. The coffee is always shit in these places.” I answer and walk to the mini-fridge to pull out two bottles of water. I hand one bottle to him and say, “Here, this is better for you anyway.”

“Yeah, and it costs five times more than you’d pay for a bottle of water anywhere else.” Niall says from his spot on the couch.

“I don’t know if you know this, Niall,” I tell him as if it’s a big secret, “but we’re rich. We can afford _a lot_ of water.

“Amongst other things.” Louis adds in and Niall scratches his nose with his middle finger, clearly flipping us off, making us both laugh. 

The food smells delicious and my stomach instantly starts to rumble when I open the container and see the scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and fruit that Louis brought me.

“Oh my god. This looks amazing.” I say and pick up my plastic fork so that I can dig in. “Hey, where are my hashbrowns?”

“You didn’t say you wanted hashbrowns, love. You said you wanted fruit.” Louis answers so I give him my best puppy dog look and he sighs and picks up his container so that he can give me some of his hashbrowns.

“Thank you.” I tell him in a sing-song and happily start to eat.

I always enjoy moments like this, these somewhat calm moments before the chaos of our day starts. Looking around the room and listening to the banter between my band mates, even joining in on a few quips, I can’t help but think how much I love these guys. We’ve formed a lovely little family here, such as it is, and I would never want to do anything to fuck it up.

~ End Chapter Six ~


	7. Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the kudos! I appreciate it. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter; I hope you enjoy reading it! :)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/Beautiful%20People/?action=view&current=byskssinbdblr.jpg)

Harry…

“Dude, this movie kinda sucks.” Niall whispers to me and I smile.

“Dude?” I answer, “You’ve been in the states too long, _bro_.”

Niall points to Zayn, who’s sitting on the other side of him, and when I look over I see that he’s sound asleep, his head resting on Niall’s shoulder.

“I guess Zayn thinks the movie sucks as well.” Niall says before shoving another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Yeah, but he falls asleep during just about _every_ movie so that’s not really something to go by.” I reply quietly and Niall nods.

“True.”

“This movie does suck, though, you’re right about that.” I reach over to grab some popcorn then look around the theater; there are only six other people here and one of them is our bodyguard, Andy. He picked this movie for us because it’s been out for a while so he figured it would be relatively empty, and boy was he right. It’s okay with me though; it’s kind of nice not to be surrounded by screaming girls for a few hours and sit in a nice air-conditioned movie theater.

“You think Liam and Louis are having fun?” Niall asks and I look at him and shrug.

“I suppose.”

“Where were they going?”

“Some amusement park. After that, who knows.” I answer and look back at the screen, trying not to think about the fact that Louis is on a double-date right now.

Danielle showed up with a friend, some girl named Eleanor, and Liam had asked Louis to come along with him on their trip to the amusement park so that Eleanor wouldn’t feel like a third wheel.

We could’ve all gone with them; Paul offered to bring us along with the entire security team, because we were sure to cause a spectacle, but we wanted to give Liam and Danielle a fighting chance at having a fun day together and that was more likely to happen if the whole entourage wasn’t there.

I figure it’s for the best; I didn’t want to watch Louis with Eleanor anyway. I could tell she liked him right away because she kept giving him coy little flirtatious looks and laughing at absolutely everything he said. It’s possible that Louis is attracted to her as well; he made a point of flirting with her from the moment she arrived.

She is fairly pretty, in a bland, snobby, knock-kneed kind of way. Not my type, thank you very much. But if that’s what Louis is into then…whatever.

Niall leans over to whisper, “You know Liam is _so_ getting laid tonight. Probably Louis, too.”

I bite the inside of my cheek and muster up a half-nod then reach for my soda and take a long sip.

“You might need to sleep in someone else’s room tonight, mate.” Niall continues with a laugh and I think about telling him to shut the fuck up but one of the other movie patrons, a middle-aged woman about two rows behind us says “shhh!” and Niall turns to wave an apology at her.

Andy, who is sitting in the row in front of us, turns around to ask, “You guys want to leave? This movie kind of sucks.”

“Yeah, let’s get the hell outta here.” Niall says and hands me the popcorn then turns to shake Zayn’s shoulder. He says quietly, “Wake up, Zayn. We’re gonna go.”

Zayn blinks his eyes open and looks around. “What’s goin’ on? The movie over?”

“Yeah, the movie’s over.” I say with a laugh because the movie is _clearly_ still playing.

The lady behind us shushes us again so we quickly gather our things and start to walk down the steps, throwing the popcorn and drink cups into the large rubbish bin at the bottom. 

I pull my phone out and turn it on as we walk into the lobby of the theater and as I’m checking through my messages, I hear a chorus of screams and look up to see that we’re being ambushed by fans. Suddenly, Andy is herding us towards the exit, somehow managing to push the three of us behind him as he tells the group of thirty or so girls, “Whoa! Whoa! Calm down, please!”

They continue to swarm us and Andy does an awesome job of playing interference while we make our way towards the exit and I have to wonder how all of these girls found us here, but don’t have much time to think about it because I’m too busy trying to keep from being trampled.

A few girls are holding up items for us to sign and I reach a hand out to grab a pen from one girl who’s crying but Andy pushes my hand away and says, “NO! I’m sorry, girls, but we have to go!”

I suppose he’s right; if there were only two or three people we would be able to stop for autographs and pictures, but with this many girls in such a state of frenzy, and only one bodyguard to keep us from being attacked, it’s really best to get to the car as quickly as possible.

Zayn manages to squeeze through the exit door then he reaches out to pull me with him, holding onto my wrist as he says, “Get Niall!”

Niall becomes really anxious in situations like this, especially after what happened in New York, where more than a hundred fans swarmed Liam and Niall on the sidewalk and they barely made it back to the hotel without being mauled. When I turn to look at Niall, I see that he’s ghost white, his eyes wide with panic, and I instantly want to protect him so I reach out to take him by the hand and guide him between myself and Zayn. 

I put an arm around his waist once we’re both through the exit door and he leans into me and says, “Thanks, man.”

“No problem. Stay close, I won’t let anything happen to you.” I tell him and feel Zayn’s arm slide in next to mine around Niall’s waist and the three of us stay linked until we’ve reached the Explorer.

It takes us about ten minutes to pull out of the parking lot because Andy has to keep rolling the window down to tell people to back away from the car or they might get hurt, and once we’re out on the road, he looks at us and asks, “You lads okay? All in one piece?”

Zayn nods from the passenger seat then looks at the two of us seated in the back.

“I’m good.” I answer and look at Niall, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You good, Nialler?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Niall says breathlessly, patting my hand. “That was scary as shit.”

“That was insane!” Zayn says, “How the hell did they know where to find us?”

“Who knows,” I reply, “All it takes is one person posting our location and suddenly…”

“We’re surrounded by crazy!” Niall says and we all laugh.

“Man, I really need a cigarette.” Zayn turns around to face the front.

“I need food.” Niall says. 

I nod in agreement. “Yeah, I’m kind of hungry. Can we stop somewhere?”

“Okay,” Andy tells us, “I was going to see if you guys wanted to go to a restaurant but after what just happened, I don’t think it’s such a good idea. You just want to drive through somewhere?”

“I’m okay with that.” Niall says and rolls his window down a little to get some fresh air.

“That’s fine with me,” I reply and ask, “How about McDonald’s?”

“Sounds good.” Niall tells me and Zayn agrees so Andy finds the nearest McDonald’s.

I pull my phone out and text Louis, _“Just left theater, almost had another New York incident…fans waiting 4 us outside.”_

Andy pulls into the drive-thru and Niall starts to rattle off a rather large order, stopping every now and then so that Andy can shout it into the speaker box. 

Zayn looks at the menu and tells Andy what he wants and I receive a text reply from Louis that says, _“OMG! R U ok?! :(”_

I text back, _“Yah, Andy’s a beast. We’re ok. Getting food now.”_

“Harry!” Andy calls to me, “What do you want?”

“Oh, um…” I look at the menu and Zayn sighs.

“We’ve been sitting here all this time and you didn’t even look at the menu?” Zayn says with exasperation. “And it’s McDonald’s, c’mon, you should know the whole menu!”

“Just get me some chicken things.” I tell Andy and he shakes his head.

“Chicken things?” Andy asks, “You mean nuggets?”

“No, those…longer ones. What the heck are they called?”

“Selects!” Niall helps me out, “He wants Chicken Selects. And fries, you want fries, yeah?”

“Yeah, get me some fries. And a coke, please.” I tell Andy and look back at my phone while he puts in my order.

I type another text to Louis that says, _“What r u up to now?”_

“Harry!” Andy shouts to get my attention again and when I look at him he asks, “What dipping sauce do you want?”

“Oh, um…” I bite my fingernail and try to find dipping sauces on the menu.

Zayn laughs at me. “Don’t give Harry choices; we’ll be here for fuckin’ ever.” He says and I lean forward to smack his head, which just makes him laugh more.

Andy looks up at the ceiling of the car and says, “Jesus, Lord, please give me patience.”

Niall leans all the way forward, so that his head is as close to the driver’s side window as possible, and yells into the speaker, “Can we just get a bunch of each of the dipping sauces? Please? We’ll pay extra if we hafta!”

The lady in the speaker repeats our order back and I look at my phone again when I see that I’ve got a reply back from Louis…

_“We’re at a club havin drinks. Don’t wait up! ha ha!”_

I sigh and let my thumbs hover over my phone as I try to think of a reply but can’t come up with anything. The few things that I’d like to tell him are highly inappropriate so I decide to type out a simple _“Have fun”_ and leave it at that.

Our food is handed through the window and we pull away from McDonald’s with the delicious smell of french fries filling the air.

~*~

Louis…

I pay for our drinks, (an outrageous price if you ask me), then read Harry’s last text before putting my phone back in my pocket and carefully juggling the four drinks as I make my way back to our table in the corner of the club. Eleanor is checking her lipstick in a little compact when I walk up but she quickly puts the compact back in her purse and smiles at me as I set the drinks down.

Liam takes his 7UP on the rocks and hands Danielle her Cranberry-Vodka then asks me, “How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it. You can buy the next round, yeah?” I answer and Liam nods and takes a sip of his drink.

“Thank you.” Danielle says with a smile and I smile back.

“You’re welcome.” I sit down next to Eleanor and hand her the Shirley Temple she ordered then take a sip of my beer.

Eleanor moves a little closer and asks me, “You’re not twenty-one yet, are you?”

I shake my head and hold a finger over my lips. “Don’t tell anyone. I’m not legal in the states yet.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” She says with a giggle then says, “I’m only nineteen so I’m not legal either. Not legal for drinking, anyway.”

I don’t miss the suggestive tone she uses and watch as she swirls her tongue around the top of her straw before taking a sip of the bright pink drink. She’s a pretty girl and she smells nice, and I’ve always been a sucker for long legs and wavy brown hair so I’m definitely interested in getting to know her better.

“Did you hear from the other boys?” Liam asks from across the table so I tear my eyes away from Eleanor to look at him.

“Yeah, Harry texted me. Said they got mobbed as they were leaving the movie theater.”

His eyes widen. “Are they okay?”

“Yeah, Andy’s with them. He got them out safely.”

“Thank God.” He says and Danielle rubs his back.

She leans forward and says to Liam, “Reminds me of what happened to you and Niall in New York.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” I say and Eleanor moves closer to me.

“I heard a little about that.” She says, placing her hand on my thigh, “What happened?”

I look to Liam. “You can tell the story better, since you were there.”

Liam nods and we all lean in so that we can hear him. He talks about how he and Niall were just trying to enjoy a little sight-seeing in New York and they were mobbed by a group of fans on the sidewalk.

“I think poor Niall is scarred for life. I felt so bad.” Liam says, finishing his story.

“That’s so scary.” Eleanor says, and I feel her hand moving further up my thigh. “Does that happen a lot?”

“Just about everywhere we go.” I tell her.

Liam says, “Yeah, but usually security is in charge, like when we’re going to a location or something, but sometimes…certain things can’t be controlled. Even when we have a bodyguard with us. I mean, Niall and I thought we could just take a quick walk, see some sights, but we were _so wrong_.”

“I can’t imagine what that must be like.” Eleanor says, stroking my thigh and I feel a stirring between my legs. I look down at her hand, which has now moved all the way to my upper-inner thigh, then look at her face and we smile at each other.

I take a sip of my beer and out of the corner of my eye I can see Liam giving me a very strange, almost disapproving look so I tilt my head at him inquisitively and he says, “Hey, Louis? Can we go over there and talk for a minute?”

“Right now?” I ask and he nods.

“Yeah, just for a minute.” He stands up and motions for me to follow him.

I sigh and tell Eleanor, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll be here.” She says with a flirtatious smile and I stand to follow Liam.

Once we find a fairly empty spot in the corner, I turn to face Liam and ask, “So, what’s on your mind?”

“I’m just wondering if this is okay. I mean, you and Eleanor. Maybe I shouldn’t have…” He sighs like he doesn’t know how to continue.

“Jesus, Liam. Just say it.” I tell him and he looks me in the eye.

“I’m just worried about Harry.”

“What do you mean? What about Harry?”

“Well,” He looks around to make sure no one can hear us before saying, “You and he…” He sighs again and says, “You’ve been _making cookies_ together.”

“Oh goody, are we going to use a euphemism?” I ask, clapping my hands together in front of my face. “This is gonna be fun. Um, yes, Harry and I have made a lot of _cookies_ together.”

“Right. And now you’re thinking about…” He pauses.

“Baking?” I say with a smile and he rolls his eyes.

“Yes, baking, with someone else. And I just worry that Harry won’t be too happy about you…getting into someone else’s kitchen.” He gives me a pointed look and I start to laugh because this has got to be the most ridiculous conversation I’ve ever had with Liam.

He really does look worried, though, so I stop laughing and place a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light shake. “Liam, I’m not _with_ Harry. We just like helping each other _bake_ sometimes, you know? Because we understand each other’s _recipes_.” I wiggle my eyebrows and he laughs. “But that’s all there is to it. So please, don’t worry yourself over it.”

“Are you sure Harry doesn’t mind if you share your _recipes_ with someone else?” He asks and I scrunch up my face.

“Of course he doesn’t. We have an understanding, okay?”

Liam shoves his hands into his back pockets and shrugs as he says, “I don’t want him getting hurt.” After a moment he pulls his hands out of his pockets and pats me on the shoulder. “I love both of you. I just want what’s best. And…I want you to be careful. Be careful with him. Alright?”

“Okay, Liam.” I answer and give him a brief hug. “Don’t be such a worry-wart. Go have fun with your girlfriend. We should all dance!”

He laughs and nods as he says, “Sounds good.”

We start to walk back to the table and I lean in to whisper to him, “You’re _so_ baking some delicious cookies tonight!”

He laughs out loud then shakes his head. “Oh God, you’re going to make me regret using that euphemism, aren’t you.”

“Probably, my friend. Probably.”

We arrive back at the table where the girls are huddled together talking and I reach a hand out to Eleanor.

“Care to dance, m’lady?” I ask and she smiles at me and starts to shimmy out of the booth.

Danielle finishes the last of her drink and slides down her side of the booth so that she can dance with Liam.

I know we’ll probably all look foolish dancing next to Danielle, what with her being a professional dancer and all, but it doesn’t matter. Tonight is about having fun and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.

~*~

I slide my keycard into the door then push it open and see that the room is dark so I quietly tiptoe in, but realize how silly that is because I plan on waking Harry up anyway. I know it’s selfish but I’m horny as hell and still sporting a slight beer-buzz, and since I don’t feel like having a wank, I’ll just have to rouse my favorite “baking” partner.

“Cookies.” I mumble and giggle to myself as I walk towards the bed. There’s enough moonlight coming through the window that I can see the outline of Harry’s body under the covers and the top of his curly head poking out but I can’t see his face so I can’t tell if he’s awake or not.

I strip all of my clothes off and giggle again when I fall onto the bed whilst trying to kick my pants away from my feet and Harry sleepily asks, “You drunk?”

“Ah, you are awake! Good.” I say with a smile and lift the covers up so that I can climb into bed. He’s lying on his side facing away from me and I see that he has a pair of boxers on, which I immediately want to remove but figure I’ll have to warm him up to it instead of just pouncing. 

Suddenly, I remember that he asked me a question so I finally say, “M’not drunk. A little buzzed, maybe, but not drunk.”

He gives a half-nod and asks, “D’you have fun?”

“Yeah. A lot of fun, actually.” I shift onto my side and shimmy closer to him but he doesn’t turn around so I push my hips forward in the hopes that he’ll feel my erection pressing into his back and help me out with it.

“What movie did you guys see?” I ask him, wrapping my arm around his waist.

“Can’t remember the name,” He answers quietly, “We didn’t stay for the whole thing anyway because it wasn’t any good.”

“And then you got mobbed?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how they found us but there were probably thirty or so girls. Andy handled it really well.” He turns his head a little and I can hear the smile when he adds, “He went all Ninja. It was kind of awesome.”

I smile and kiss his shoulder before saying, “Well, I won a stuffed dog at one of the ring toss games.”

“Yeah? Good job.”

“Yeah; it probably ended up costing me fifty dollars or something because it’s five dollars for a bundle of rings and I had to keep buying them until I finally won something.” I say with a laugh. “It was worth it though; Eleanor clung to that thing like it was the best present she’d ever gotten.”

He nods a little but doesn’t say anything. I wait for a moment before asking, “What do you think of her?”

“Eleanor?”

“Yeah.”

“I have no opinion on the matter.” He mumbles.

“Oh, come on. Just tell me. Do you not like her?”

“Lou, I met her for about two seconds. Not long enough to tell if I like the girl or not.”

“Well I think she’s cool.” I say quietly and wait for him to respond but his response never comes.

I grind my hips a little, trying to get some friction going because my erection is almost painful at this point.

Harry laughs and says, “Are you just gonna wank yourself off against my back? Is that what’s happening here?”

“Well, yes, because you’re not helping me out, so…”

“Oh, I see. So, this Eleanor girl got you all worked up and now you want me to help you relieve your boner?”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page here; I was worried maybe we weren’t communicating properly.” I say then kiss his shoulder again because his skin is really warm and feels nice against my lips.

“Why didn’t you just get _her_ to help you out?”

“I _tried_ , believe me.” I sigh, “She was making comments all night, basically making it seem like she was going to give it up, you know? But then, at the end of the night, when we were kissing and stuff, I slipped a hand under her shirt and she stopped me.”

“Tease.”

“Yeah, she got all, like,” I change my voice to try and sound like her, “What kind of girl would I be if I slept with you on the first day we met.”

“So, she’s got some morals. Good for her. I like her better now.” Harry says and I can’t quite read his tone. He sounds a bit mad but I figure he’s probably just tired.

I rut against his back again and say, “So, here’s the deal…I’m going to make love on you. Whether or not you participate is completely up to you.”

He laughs and I feel his body relax ever so slightly. He says, “You’re going to make love _on_ me?”

“Yes, well, I’d like to make love _in_ you, but you don’t seem into it so I’m going to make love all over you, probably on your back and right here…” I rub a hand on the back of his thighs and feel his body shaking with laughter.

“You are a pig!” He says through his laughter, “I hate you so much right now.”

“No, you don’t.” I sing-song against his back. “You don’t hate me even a little.”

He continues to laugh and squirms a little when I try to push his underwear down. I reach a hand down the back of the material and ask, “So, do you want to spread your butt cheeks or what?”

He yelps and pushes his hips forward to get away from me as he says, “No! You are not getting my bum tonight. I _should_ make you sleep in your own bed just for being such a pig.”

“Aww, come on,” I say against his shoulder, wrapping a leg around him so he can’t get away, “Help a guy out, would ya? I’ve got a wound that needs healing.”

I grab hold of his hand and bring it back so that I can press it between our bodies and his laughter subsides as he starts to stroke me. He says, “You’re going to make love to my hand now, are you?”

“If that’s all I can get, yeah.” I press my cheek against his smooth back and thrust into his palm, breathing heavily because the ache between my legs is so all-consuming, I need to find relief.

After a minute, Harry says, “Why do I feel so dirty right now?”

“Shhhh, just let it happen. Don’t fight it.” I murmur and smile when he starts to laugh again.

He suddenly pulls his hand away and I whine, “Don’t stop! What are you doing?”

“Well, I’ll let you _make love_ to my mouth if you’ll let me move.” He explains with mocking amusement and I instantly unfurl my arm and leg so that he can turn over.

I hold his face and tilt my head to kiss him deeply and he places a hand on my hip and pushes me so that I’m on my back then straddles me and pulls his mouth away.

He cringes and says, “You taste like _her_.”

“I do not,” I say, smoothing my hands up his chest.

“Well, it’s not _you_ I’m tasting so it must be her.”

“It’s probably beer you’re tasting.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t like it.”

I try to pull him down to kiss me again, somehow thinking I can prove him wrong, but he shakes his head and moves down a little so that he can kiss my chest. He sucks on each nipple and I push my hips up and run my fingers through his hair, applying light pressure to the top of his head because as much as I normally enjoy a bit of foreplay, I really do have a very specific target I need him to get to as quickly as possible.

He kisses down my stomach and finally shifts his whole body so that he’s on his knees between my legs, and I moan softly as he strokes my cock, tugging the skin down and pulling my foreskin back then darting his tongue out to flick the swollen head. He pinches my nipple with his other hand and I throw my head back when his mouth finally engulfs me, warm and wet and perfect. 

I spread my legs a little further and tangle my fingers in his curls again, thrusting my hips up away from the bed to try and get more of myself into his mouth. I grab a bundle of his hair and push down on his head but he suddenly chokes and pulls away from me, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand and looking at me like a disgruntled kitten who’s just been forced to take a bath.

“Sorry, love.” I whisper, “I got a little excited.”

“Do it again and I’ll bite you.” He tells me but I see one of his dimples threatening to show itself so I know he’s not too mad.

“You wouldn’t dare.” I tease, grabbing the base of my cock and trying to guide myself back into his mouth. “Now, open up like a good boy.”

He laughs and gives my thigh a smack. “Have I mentioned you’re a pig?”

“You have, and I’m okay with that.” I answer, smiling. 

“And have I mentioned that I hate you?” His dimple is fully visible now and my own smile widens.

“You have, but I don’t believe it for a second.” I gently slap my penis against his cheek and he laughs again and forces my hands away. I can’t imagine ever slapping a girl in the face with my dick, not without getting a slap of my own. But Harry knows me, he knows I just like being a prat sometimes and I’m so grateful for that; it’s one of my favorite things about our relationship.

He takes me into his mouth again, sucking down as far as he can, and I close my eyes and place my hands behind my head, thinking to myself that I have to be one of the luckiest blokes in the world. I arch my back and moan into the darkness, feeling like I’m floating as I reach my climax, then I collapse onto the mattress again and murmur breathlessly, “Mmfff, so fucking good.”

Harry shuffles off the end of bed and walks into the bathroom to spit into the sink. He turns the water on and I hear him rinsing his mouth, then a few seconds later he’s crawling into bed again and I pull the covers over us after he slides in next to me.

“No offense,” He says, “but I think the beer you drank made your cum taste bad.”

He lays down on his side facing away from me so I turn onto my side and press myself against his back, sliding my hands around his waist.

“Jeez, Harry. First my mouth tastes bad and now my cum? I’m starting to think you really do hate me.”

He sighs and turns enough so that he can press a gentle kiss to my mouth. “I don’t hate you. I actually love you quite a bit, God help me.” He presses his lips against mine again, giving me three quick kisses, then turns back around, taking a moment to adjust the pillow under his head before quietly saying, “Now go to sleep.”

I move my head closer to his so that I can bury my nose in his hair and Liam’s words from earlier reverberate in my head… _“Be careful with him.”_ I think maybe I’m starting to get what he means.

~ End Chapter Seven ~


	8. Shmouis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note: No disrespect is meant to Eleanor or any other character in this story. This is a work of fiction. I hope you like it! :)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=BoysinConcert.jpg)

Louis…

Looking out at the buffet tables that are set up for us backstage before each concert, you’d think we were feeding thousands of people and I always have to wonder what they do with all the leftover food once we’re gone. I’d be surprised if even half of this gets eaten; it’s really a shame.

Even Niall stays away from the heavy stuff…the meats, cheeses, breads and pastas, and instead sticks to the snack foods. Not that we’re dancers, like Justin Timberlake or Justin Bieber, (I _wish_ I could dance like them!) But we do bounce around quite a bit on stage, trying to give our fans a high energy show, so filling our bellies with anything other than a light snack beforehand would be a vomit-attack waiting to happen.

I come across a tray of assorted cookies and smile to myself, thinking about my conversation in the club with Liam almost a week ago. Deciding I can’t pass up an opportunity to give him a little crap, I pick up three of the cookies and walk towards the couch where Liam is sitting, lacing up his trainers.

Harry is sitting in a chair next to the couch, texting someone. (I swear, sometimes I think he should just have his phone permanently attached to his hand; it’s always there anyway!) I hold a cookie in front of his face and say, “Want one?”

He tears his eyes away from his phone for a moment so he can see what I’m holding then shakes his head and looks back down again. “Nah, I just brushed my teeth. But thanks.”

I nod and take a bite of the cookie while I plop down on the couch beside Liam and when he finally finishes tying his shoes, he sits back and I hold out one of the cookies.

“Want it?” I ask with my mouth full and he shakes his head.

“No, thanks. I don’t like to eat right before a show, you know that.”

I sigh and pull the cookie back, holding it out in front of me so that I can inspect it as I say, “I just love a good cookie. Don’t you, Li?”

“Oh boy, here we go.” Liam answers with a smirk.

“I mean,” I continue, crossing one leg over the other, “sometimes all you need is a little taste, am I right?”

“I suppose you’re right.” He says, not looking at me and clearly trying not to smile.

“Sometimes you just want to bake a small batch, nothing too serious…just something to satisfy that _need_.” I make a noise with my mouth, smacking my lips together and trying to make it sound as obscene as possible and Liam closes his eyes and crosses his arms.

I take another bite of my cookie and say, “But then again, sometimes the need for cookies is so great, you have to really get in there and go after it, you know? Get in that kitchen and bake your little heart out!”

Liam has now gone bright red and is covering his face with his hands but I can hear his muffled laughter breaking through. (I know I should probably stop now but he just makes this too easy!)

“It can be messy, so very messy.” I shake my head and sigh. “Sometimes messy is good, it means you had a really good time. But the cleanup is certainly no fun.”

Harry has stopped texting and is looking at me with an amused grin. He tilts his head and asks, “Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something?”

“Oh, Liam and I were just discussing how messy making cookies can be.” I tell him before taking another bite.

“Especially when I do it.” Harry says and I spit the piece of cookie I’d just bitten onto the floor between my legs and Liam and I fall into each other laughing.

“What’d I say?” Harry asks with such an innocent, confused smile that it makes me want to kiss him.

I reach down to pick up the cookie I spit out then stand up and tell Harry through my laughter, “I’ll explain it to you later. Just know that your response couldn’t have been more perfect.”

I walk to the trash can to throw away the cookie piece then sit down again and watch the hustle and bustle backstage, wondering if any of the crew running around trying to get everything ready for the show would even notice if I kissed Harry. With my luck, _someone_ would get a picture or video and post it online for the world to see and analyze. So I’ll just have to wait until we’re somewhere private.

I’ve been trying to be careful with Harry, just like Liam asked me to. The problem is that I don’t exactly know _how_ to be careful with him. We’ve only ever been one way with each other so if I stop one thing, it throws everything else off balance. In fact, things have already started to feel a bit off since I’ve been sneaking away to have phone conversations with Eleanor for the past week, trying to get to know her better.

It would be so nice to be able to talk to Harry about Eleanor, like normal best friends would do, but we don’t have a normal best friend relationship and probably never will. I’ve tried bringing Eleanor up in casual conversation but Harry always goes quiet or finds a reason to leave the room; it’s incredibly frustrating. I’m so used to sharing everything with him but how do I share something that he clearly doesn’t want to hear about? I don’t like hiding it from him either so I’m stuck. I know it’s selfish to say but…why can’t I just have the best of both worlds?

One of the stagehands gives us our five minute warning and Zayn and Niall show up, looking perfectly coiffed, with hair and stage makeup in place, and we all stand together as we wait to be called to stage.

“Another city, another show.” I say to the boys and insist on a group hug, just ‘cause I feel like it.

~*~

Being onstage, surrounded by thousands of screaming fans is always mesmerizing; thinking that this many people paid money to come see us and know every single word to our songs…it’s really overwhelming. I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever be able to get used to.

Harry walks over to my side of the stage and says in my ear, “Did you see the collage?”

He points to a poster board that a girl in one of the sections at the side of the stage is holding up and when I look over, the girl is screaming and jumping up and down so hard I’m afraid she might fall over. She’s made a collage of pictures of me with Harry; some of them recent but most of them going all the way back to our X-Factor days. At the top of the poster, right above the picture of me kissing Harry underwater in a swimming pool, she’s written in big pink glittery letters, “Larry is Real!”

I shake my head at Harry and start to walk away but he walks to the edge of the stage and bends down to whisper to one of our bodyguards. Then he looks at the girl and says into the microphone, “I like your poster, babe. Can I have it?”

The girl almost falls trying to get down the stairs and the bodyguard that Harry had whispered to helps the poor girl get to the side of the stage safely so that she can hand Harry the poster. He takes it from her and says into his microphone, “Thank you. I’m going to keep this.”

I’m convinced the girl is going to pass out; she stares up at Harry with pure adoration in her eyes then bursts into tears and allows the bodyguard to escort her back to her seat.

Harry smiles as he walks over to show me the poster and I try to keep my face neutral because I know that the entire audience is watching us. When the lights dim and the music for our next song starts, I lean in to say against Harry’s ear, “Why do you encourage them?”

His smile falters and he shrugs as he replies, “No harm in it. It’s a nice poster.”

He looks at it again as he walks to the back of the stage and leans the poster against the wall then quickly walks back out and finds his place in the song, just in time to sing his part of the harmony.

~*~

The concert is a smashing success, as usual, and we head backstage after the show, adrenaline still pumping through our veins. I wipe the sweat from my face with a towel and follow Niall to the buffet table because now that the concert’s over, we can have more than a snack. (Plus, it’s fun to watch Niall cram as much food into his head as possible!)

As I’m picking up a plate, I hear a girl’s voice call out to me and look around to try and see where the voice is coming from, wondering if I’m just having some strange echo in my brain from all the screaming I heard during the concert. I see Liam walking with Danielle, big smiles on both of their faces, and before I know what’s happening, Eleanor is right in front of me and wraps me in a big hug.

“Oh, hi!” I tell her, putting the plate down so that I can wrap my arms around her waist. “I didn’t know you were here!”

“You mean, you didn’t see me in the middle of thousands of screaming girls?” She says sarcastically, “The nerve of you! No, seriously though, I wanted to surprise you so I didn't tell you that Danielle and I were coming.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you.” I say as I pull out of her embrace. “Sorry, I’m a little sweaty.” 

“It’s okay, it’s understandable. The show was great!” She smiles brightly and flips her hair over her shoulder.

“Yeah? You liked it?”

“I loved it! We were dancing the whole time.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I answer and find myself captivated by how long her legs are. She’s wearing a short black skirt and a white billowy top with an embroidered red flower design around the collar; it’s quite lovely on her, in a sort of bohemian way. (And yes, I realize I probably shouldn’t know the words “embroidered” or “bohemian”, but I’ve got sisters!)

I finally look at her face again and when I see the knowing look she’s giving me, I tell her, “Sorry for staring; you look really pretty.”

“Thank you, you’re so sweet.” She says with a flirtatious twinkle in her eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Harry watching us and when I look in his direction, he immediately looks away and reaches for a bottle of water from the table then quickly walks away with his head down and his shoulders slumped. I feel a sense of guilt for a moment but tell myself to ignore it; after all, Harry’s my best friend not my boyfriend so I don’t owe him anything. He should be happy for me and supportive of me, not sulking away like some jilted lover.

I turn my attention back to Eleanor and Danielle. “So, what are you up to now?”

“Well, if you guys aren’t too tired, we were thinking maybe we could go out somewhere?” Danielle says and I look to Liam.

I tell him, “I don’t know about you but I’m actually really hungry.”

“I could definitely eat.” He says, “I need a shower before we go anywhere.”

“Yeah, me too.” I make a disgusted face, grabbing the front of my shirt and shaking it.

“Okay,” Danielle says and loops her arm through Eleanor’s, “We’ll make arrangements for a restaurant, someplace that has a private area, and we’ll just go from there?”

“Sounds good,” Liam says, “You should talk to Lisa, she’s great at making arrangements for us.”

He points out Lisa and Danielle nods. “Oh yeah, I’ve met her before. Okay, we’ll get it all worked out and meet up with you after your shower.”

Liam gives her a quick kiss and I wonder if I should do the same with Eleanor but before I have a chance to, Danielle is whisking her away to go talk to Lisa.

I take a moment to look around for Harry, purely out of habit, but he seems to have disappeared. I try not to think about it any further; I’m looking forward to my night with Eleanor and hoping we’ll have a chance to get to know each other on a more intimate level.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/Gemma/?action=view&current=HArryandGem.jpg)

Harry…

I lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling and listening to Zayn’s breathing. He’s sound asleep next to me and I’m jealous because my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. I know I won’t be able to sleep any time soon so I push the covers back and climb out of bed, picking up my t-shirt from the floor and pulling it over my head then finding my phone on the nightstand before walking out onto the balcony.

The air is still warm and it feels wonderful against my skin so I take a moment to enjoy it, leaning against the railing with my eyes closed, letting the warm breeze brush past me and trying not to think about the reason I’m rooming with Zayn instead of sleeping where I should be.

Louis came back from his night out with Eleanor and stumbled into our hotel room slightly drunk and looking sheepish as he tried to figure out a way to ask me to sleep in someone else’s room for the night so that he could “be alone” with Eleanor.

_“I think she’s finally ready to do the deed with me...I really want this...you understand, don’t you? I’ll owe you one, okay?”_

I don’t remember if I even responded; I was too sick to my stomach to say much of anything to him so I just grabbed my bag and toiletries and walked barefoot down the hall to knock on Zayn’s door. (We’ve shared a bed before, in a completely non-sexual way, so he didn’t have a problem with letting me stay for the night.) Now he’s sleeping and I’m sitting on a balcony, trying not to think about the fact that there’s someone else lying underneath Louis when it should be me! 

Finally I sit down on one of the patio chairs and look at my phone to see what time it is then try to do the conversion in my head to figure out the time in England but I’ve always been terrible at it. I really need to talk to someone that I can trust; someone who won’t give me any bullshit, who doesn’t care that I’m “Harry Styles, Popstar!” I hit the number on speed dial and put the phone to my ear, thankful when she picks up on the second ring, sounding wide awake…

“You okay?” She asks and I have to laugh a little.

“Now, is that a way to answer the phone? I’m _fine_ , Gemma. Just needed to talk.”

“What time is it there?”

I shrug, even though she can’t see me. “Middle of the night. I can’t sleep.”

She must hear something in my voice because she asks quietly, “What’s goin’ on?”

“I have something to tell you.” I swallow hard and stretch my legs out in front of me, crossing them at the ankle then shoving my other hand between my inner thighs, trying to think of how to proceed.

I don’t know how much time passes but Gemma waits patiently before finally saying, “This is going to be an important conversation, isn’t it.”

“It is.”

“Okay.” She says slowly then adds, “I’m sitting down. You can tell me anything.”

“I’m…I’m almost positive that I’m in love with someone. But the person I’m possibly in love with…” I swallow again and close my eyes before blurting out, “I don’t know if he feels the same way about me. In fact, I’m almost certain he doesn’t and I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, wow.” She says then blows out a puff of air. “So, it’s a _he_.”

“Yeah. Does that freak you out?”

“Not even a little. To be honest, I’ve always had my suspicions.”

“You _have_?” I open my eyes wide.

“Mm hmm. Call it sister’s intuition or whatever but…I always kind of figured you were attracted to both genders. You _are_ attracted to both genders, right? Or is it just boys?”

“I’m really just attracted to the _person_. I kind of hate that everyone wants to put a label on me; why can’t I just, like, be _sexual_. Why does it have to be homo or hetero? I just like _people_.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get your knickers in a bunch, sheesh!” She says and I can almost picture her face, pinched and indignant, and it makes me smile.

“I’m sorry, but I just get sick of people always getting in my business. Why can’t they mind their own fuckin’ business. It’s really annoying.”

“Hey, I agree with you. I’m on Team-Mind-Your-Own-Business, you know that. So you like _people_. And you’re currently in love with a boy.”

“Yes.”

“And does this boy’s name happen to rhyme with Shmouis?” She asks and I laugh out loud then quickly cover my mouth and lean to the side so that I can look through the sliding door and see if Zayn is still sleeping. It’s dark in the room so it’s hard to tell but I don’t see any movement so I assume he’s probably still in dreamland.

I lean back again and say, “It _does_ rhyme with Shmouis, as a matter of fact. How did you know?”

“I didn’t know for sure until this very moment but you know, I’m always looking for good ‘Larry’ pics to send to you and just seeing the way you are with each other…let’s just say it’s easy to see why so many of your fans have gotten caught up in the whole Larry Stylinson thing. You guys make it pretty damn easy.”

“I guess you’re right.” I say quietly, “So, there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“Holy shit; what else could there be? You’re not thinking of becoming a woman are you? I mean, not that anything’s wrong with that. I _completely_ support you, if that’s what you want. And you _would_ make a really pretty girl. Oh my God, we could shop for clothes together!”

I’m smiling the whole time she’s talking and when she finally finishes, I ask, “You done?”

“Yeah, sorry.” She laughs a little. “What is it?”

“Well, I’m not thinking of becoming a woman. But…I am happy to know you’re so thrilled over the idea.”

“Yeah, I got a little excited there, didn’t I? I was getting ready to make us a pedicure appointment.”

“Hey, I could use a pedicure.” I tell her, looking down at my feet.

“ _All_ boys need a pedicure, let’s face it.”

“True.”

“So, seriously, what else did you want to tell me?”

I lower my voice to almost a whisper and say, “Louis and I…we’ve been sleeping together. For a while now, actually.”

“Are you havin’ me on?”

“I’m not havin’ you on, I promise.”

She doesn’t say anything so I ask, “You still there or did I lose you?”

“I’m here. I’m just…takin’ it all in. It’s a lot to take in.” She answers and I have to resist the urge to make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke. After a moment she tells me, “So, you’ve been having sex with him? Like, full on sex?”

I nod. “Full on sex. We’ve done all the stuff.”

“Jesus,” She says quietly, “I was already sitting down but I feel like I should stand up and sit back down again.”

“Do whatever you have to. I know it’s probably a shock.”

“I’ll say. I mean, I knew you two were close but I didn’t know you were actually doing the horizontal hokie pokie.”

I laugh out loud again but quickly cover my mouth. Once I’ve stopped laughing, she asks, “So, how long has this been going on?”

“We started messing around back during X-Factor Bootcamp.”

“That far back?”

“Yeah.”

“God, I feel like you were still a baby then.”

“I was, pretty much.” My mind instantly flashes back to those first kisses and touches; how nervous and excited I was. 

Thinking back to that first time we did it, when I was sixteen and so scared, and thinking how much better we’ve gotten at it since then, I wish I could go back and tell myself to relax and enjoy it. But there’s also something beautiful about how inexperienced we were and how we learned together what felt good. Although, I have to admit that Louis was better at everything from the start; it almost makes me laugh to think of how clumsy I was but he was so patient with me, so willing to let me fuck it all up until I figured out what worked.

“You still there?” Gemma asks and I smile wistfully.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just thinking about something.” 

“So who made the first move? Or was it mutual?”

“I think we were drawn together from the very beginning. I don’t remember who made the first move; we probably both did. We just kissed and stuff at first, but then it got more and more…involved. Eventually we were doing everything.”

“I get the picture, please don’t give me details.”

“Well, you asked.” I remind her.

“This is blowing my mind right now, I just want you to know that.”

“Why is it blowing your mind? You said yourself that you always suspected—”

“No, not the part about you and Shmouis. It’s just, I still picture you as my doofy little brother…”

“I’m still your doofy little brother.”

“I know, but now you’re my doofy little brother who has, like, an actual sex life. It’s hard to get my head around it. Which reminds me, are you using protection?”

“Yes, every time.”

“That’s good. That’s important.”

“That’s exactly what Liam said.” I tell her with a laugh.

“You told Liam before you told me? I’m unbelievably offended right now!”

“Liam found out by accident, calm down.”

“By accident?” She gasps and asks, “Did he walk in on you guys doing it?”

“No, he found a used condom in our bathroom and I kind of panicked and couldn’t come up with a suitable lie.”

“You shouldn’t lie to Liam anyway. It’s like kicking a puppy; you just shouldn’t do it.”

“I know, right?”

“So…we’ve gotten off topic here. Have you told Shmouis how you feel?”

“No, I’ve only just recently figured it out myself.”

“You’ve been having sex with him for two years and you didn’t know you had feelings for him? How is that possible?”

“You don’t understand.” I tell her then sigh. “Guys are different than girls.”

“Thank you for telling me that. I had no idea.” She says dryly and I laugh.

“Would you shut up? I’m trying to explain.”

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

“We sort of made an arrangement with each other, right after we started doing it. We decided we would help each other out, you know, sexually. Because I don’t know if you know this about boys but…we’re horny.”

“I actually _did_ know that.” She says with a laugh.

“Right, so we agreed to just be there for each other, to satisfy any urges that come along, and so far it’s been lovely. He’s a really good lover.”

“Oh boy. Please stop right there.”

“Well, I’m just saying.”

“Hey, let me ask you something…is he as hung as I think he is?”

“Really, Gemma? You don’t want to hear about us having sex but you want me to tell you how big his schlong is?”

“I’m just curious! It’s big, isn’t it?”

“It’s big, yes.”

“I knew it. A boy doesn’t act that sassy unless he’s packin’ heat.” She says and I have to cover my mouth again to keep from laughing too loudly.

I wipe the corners of my eyes and say, “You can’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“Like you even have to say that! What do you think, I have Sugarscape on speed dial?”

“That would certainly explain some of the stories they’ve printed.”

“I would never betray you like that, you should know that.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You can’t tell Louis either.”

“When do I ever talk to Shmouis?”

“You’re just going to keep calling him Shmouis?” I ask with a laugh.

“Yep, I like it.” She laughs with me then asks, “So, when are you going to tell him that you luuurrrve him?”

“I’m _not_ going to tell him.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because he’s…he’s been seeing this girl.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “They’re…in our room right now.”

“I don’t understand. They’re in your room with you?”

“No, Louis kicked me out of our room so that he could…be alone with her.” I explain, unable to say that they’re having sex but I know she’ll figure it out on her own. “I’m rooming with Zayn right now.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? That prick! Let me see if I still have his number, I’m calling him.”

“You are not calling him. And he’s not a prick; he can sleep with whoever he likes. I don’t have any claim on him, he’s not _mine_. It’s not like he’s breaking some promise to me or something so how can I be angry with him.”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment then finally asks, “Who is this girl he’s been seeing?”

“Her name’s Eleanor,” I answer, trying to keep the disdain from my voice, “She’s one of Danielle’s friends. That’s all I know about her, honestly.”

“What does she look like?”

I blow out a puff of air and say, “She looks like she’s an ankle sprain away from being a lard ass.”

“Harry!” Gemma laughs loudly in my ear, “That is an awful thing to say. So, she’s fat?”

“No, not at all. I just wanted to be mean.” I look down at the ground, feeling kind of sick. I’ve never been able to say something truly mean about anyone without immediately feeling bad about it afterwards. “She’s actually quite thin…she’s kind of tall, really leggy, she’s got dark wavy hair… I guess she’s pretty.”

“She sounds like the female version of _you_.”

“No she doesn’t.”

“Yes, she does! Dark wavy hair, leggy—”

“I’m not that leggy; I’m more torso-y.”

“You’ve got a long torso but you’ve got long legs too. All-in-all you’re quite fit.”

“Aww, thanks Gem.”

“Just stating the facts.”

I sigh loudly. “So…what am I going to do?”

“ _Tell him!_ ” She says and I stay quiet so she continues, “Seriously, just sit down and tell him that this idiotic agreement you made back when you were a fetus isn’t working any longer. Tell him you love him and you want more.”

“I can’t say that.”

“Why on earth not?”

“Because…what if he rejects me? Or worse, what if he laughs at me?”

“He’s not going to laugh at you.”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt to talk to him.

“You should. If anything, at least you’ll get clarity.”

“I guess you’re right.” I say with a sigh.

“Of course I’m right. You should always listen to me because I’m much much smarter than you. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

I laugh and tell her, “You may have gotten the brains but _clearly_ I got all the looks.”

“How dare you! And by the way, we look very similar, you and I.”

“Funny how that happens, innit? Considering we were created by the same parents and all?”

“Speaking of which…are you going to tell mum and dad?”

I tilt forward in the chair and take a deep breath, my stomach instantly becoming nervous again. “Probably not. I don’t know what I’d say. I mean, I think right now I just want to get everything sorted, you know? There’s just…it’s just too much.”

“Yeah, I guess I see what you mean. You can tell mum anything though, you know that.”

“I know, she’s so awesome.” I smile as my mother’s face appears in my mind. “We really hit the lottery as far as mums go.”

“No kidding.” She huffs out a laugh. “We must’ve done something right in a former life.”

“Thanks for letting me talk, Gemma. I’m feeling a little better now.”

“Of course! I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to talk to me; you can call me any time you need to.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Besides, you’re giving me fantastic material for the blackmail book I’m planning on writing.”

“Blackmail book?” I ask with a laugh.

“Oh, haven’t I told you? I’ve got about eight chapters so far. Well, now I’ve got nine, thanks to this conversation. Let’s see, I think I’ll title this chapter ‘My Brother and Shmouis’?” She tells me then adds, “Or perhaps, ‘My Brother is Attracted to _People_ ’!”

I almost fall off my chair from laughing so hard and have to hold my hand over my mouth again because I’m certain I’ve woken someone up by now. When I finally gather myself, I ask, “Okay, so if this is a blackmail book then that means you want something from me, correct?”

“Absolutely! You’ve got more money than you know what to do with so why shouldn’t I get something out of the deal? Preferably something shiny.”

“What can I buy you, a nice wristwatch?”

“A _wristwatch_? What kind of knob still wears a wristwatch?”

“ _I_ wear a wristwatch.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.” She giggles, “Well I don’t want a watch so you’ll have to do better than that.”

“How about…a pair of shoes? Those fancy ones, what are they called? Lewis Vittonies?”

She laughs at me. “It’s Louis Vuitton, and no thank you. I’ve never been big on shoes, especially high heels.”

“Some earrings?”

“Please, now you’re insulting me.”

“How about…a purse?”

“If I was there I’d slap you right now. I said I want something shiny!”

“Then I’ll get you a shiny purse!” I say and she laughs.

“Let me help you, I want something _big_ and shiny. Something you can put a _key_ into.”

“You want me to buy you a _car_?”

“Now you’re talking! Christ, I thought we were going to be here all night.”

“Okay, okay. A car it is.” I smile and shake my head. “It’s the least I can do.”

“You don’t really have to buy me a car, Harry,” She says, her voice softening, “I just wanted to hear you laugh; I don’t like it much when you’re sad.”

“Thanks, Gem.” I instantly feel tears in my eyes and murmur, “You’re the best sister I’ve ever had.”

“I’m the _only_ sister you’ve ever had. But thank you.” She says and I can tell she’s smiling. “Now, I have to go. I need to make us a pedicure appointment. When are you available? 2014?”

~*~

After hanging up with Gemma, I open the sliding glass door and walk back into the room as quietly as possible, feeling worlds better than I did before I called her. She’s always been a good sounding board for me because I know she has my best interests at heart and she’ll always be honest with me, even if the truth hurts.

I pull my t-shirt off again and climb back into bed, trying not to move it too much so that I won’t wake Zayn but as I’m pulling the covers over me, he asks sleepily, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry if I woke you.”

“S’okay. You’re good then?”

I make myself comfortable on my side facing away from him and answer, “Mm hmm. Just needed to talk to my sister.” I close my eyes but something occurs to me and I look over my shoulder to ask, “Could you hear me out there? Talking on the phone?”

“I just heard you laughing a couple times. Couldn’t hear what you were saying though.”

I sigh with relief and turn around again to hopefully go to sleep. I’m so used to having Louis spooned up behind me; it feels strange not to have his warmth surrounding me, making me feel safe.

“Hey Zayn?”

“Yeah?”

I cringe, hoping he doesn’t laugh as I ask, “Can we cuddle? Nothing weird. Just…for closeness.”

“Sure.” He answers in whisper so quiet I barely hear him and I wait for him to move closer to me but he stays put. After a few moments he mumbles, “Come on then.”

I realize he’s waiting for me to cuddle behind him so I turn over and move closer to him, spooning my body behind his. He’s so slim and boney, it’s hard for me to get a proper cuddle so I pull my pillow a little closer and shift around until I’m finally comfortable, next to him but not pressed against him.

I’m convinced he’s gone back to sleep again when he says with amusement, “If I feel something poking into my back, you’ll have to sleep on the floor.”

“I’ll try to resist your skinny ass.” I reply and we both laugh.

He sighs loudly and whispers, “G’night, Harry.”

“G’night.”

~ End Chapter Eight ~


	9. Between Texas and Hell

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=HotLou.jpg)

Louis…

I have one thing to say about Texas—it’s fucking hot! I mean, I’m all for warm weather but this is ridiculous; I honestly feel like my face might melt right off from sweating so much. Even our tour bus, which is usually kept at a nice reasonable temperature, can’t keep up with this kind of heat and we’ve all stripped down to shorts and tank tops as we travel towards Houston.

Harry has threatened to strip off completely naked at least ten times but so far we’ve managed to keep him in his grey boxer-briefs. (Of course I wouldn’t care if he walked around starkers; I enjoy the sight quite a bit, obviously. But there are three other guys to take into consideration here!)

“Holy shit, why is it so hot? It’s dark outside and it’s still so fuckin’ hot!” Niall complains from his spot on the floor, shaking his arms out to the sides in some strange effort to cool himself off. “Irish people aren’t meant for this kind of heat.”

I take a gulp of my water then tell him, “ _Human beings_ aren’t meant for this kind of heat.”

“Harry, squirt me.” Niall whines and Harry immediately squirts him with the water bottle that he bought back in Missouri. 

It’s a water bottle with a battery operated fan attached so you can spray the water then squeeze the trigger for the fan to cool yourself off. I told him it was a waste of money because he’d probably end up breaking it after the first day but now that we’re stuck in this stifling heat, I kind of wish I’d bought one for myself!

“Squirt me, please?” Zayn says and holds his arms out while Harry squirts water on him then triggers the fan and Zayn breathes a sigh of relief. “I knew I should’ve bought one of those things.”

“You _all_ should’ve bought one.” Harry tells us, “And people say I’m the dumb one.”

He turns the fan on himself and sprays his face with water then accidentally gets the fan too close and it makes a loud noise as it brushes against his nose. Thankfully it has a safety feature to stop the fan if it touches a solid object but Harry holds his hand over his nose and makes a ‘holy shit, I almost chopped it off!’ face as we all laugh at him.

“Yeah, I can’t imagine why they call you the dumb one.” Zayn says and Harry flips him off.

“Fine. See if I share my fan with _you_ anymore.” Harry replies petulantly and stands up to walk to the kitchen.

Niall leans back against the couch and closes his eyes, looking miserable. He asks, “Where’s the next concert? The sun?”

“No, didn’t we tell you? It’s actually in hell.” I say to him, keeping my eyes on Harry because he looks so good all hot and sweaty. (And have I mentioned he’s practically naked?)

“No shit.” Niall replies, “It really does feel like we’re getting closer and closer to hell.”

Liam’s phone rings on the table in front of me so I toss it to him and he walks towards the bunks to take the call in private and I look at Harry again. He’s pulled a box of popsicles from the freezer and looks at me as he holds one up and I immediately nod because a popsicle sounds wonderful right about now.

Harry puts the box back then walks to the table and slides onto the bench opposite me as he hands me my favorite flavor, blue raspberry, and I smile and tell him quietly, “Thanks, love. You’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He replies with a roll of his eyes but there’s a smile playing on his lips.

He takes the wrapper off his red popsicle and keeps his eyes on me as he licks the tip of it teasingly then sucks the popsicle into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks to take it as far down his throat as possible. I realize I’ve been staring at him with my mouth open so I snap it closed and he smiles at me.

I lick my own popsicle and reach a hand down to adjust the semi-chub I’m now sporting, wondering if Harry and I can discreetly escape to the back of the bus for a quickie but Liam returns and announces, “Alright boys, that was Paul on the phone. He wanted to know if we’ve had a chance to sign the box of photos he left for us. Says they need to be done by the time we reach Houston.

“What box of photos?” Harry and I ask in unison.

Liam picks up a file box from the corner and sets it on one of the empty chairs. “This box.” He says and we all groan.

“Why didn’t he tell us sooner?” I ask.

“Oh shit,” Niall says, looking sheepish, “I think he told me but I forgot to pass along the message.” When he sees our disapproving looks he says, “It’s hot! My brain must’ve melted the information!”

“It’s okay, Niall.” Liam offers him a reprieve then turns to the rest of us and says authoritatively, “Well, we have to get it done so…might as well do it now and get it over with. Everyone grab a pen and sit in a circle on the floor. Let’s do this!”

~*~

Niall moves his wrist around and groans, “How many more do we have?”

I look down into the box. “Maybe…a hundred? Not too bad.”

Niall groans again. “I’m going to get carpet tunnel.”

“You mean carpal tunnel?” Liam corrects him and Niall nods.

“Yeah, that.”

“No, he means carpet tunnel,” Zayn says with a self-satisfied smile, “because it’s much softer but it can burn at the same time.” He looks around at us waiting for a laugh. “Get it?”

“I’m guessing that one probably sounded better in your head, yeah?” I ask him and he laughs and puts his head down.

“I tried.” He says with a shrug.

“We should watch a movie or something.” Harry says as he stands up from his spot next to me on the floor. He reaches for the remote control and turns on the television. “Oh, you know what we should watch? Knocked Up.”

“Yeah, that movie’s hilarious. Let’s watch that.” Zayn agrees so Harry hits play and sits down again, grabbing his pen so that he can keep autographing pictures.

“But we have to fast forward through that one part,” Niall says, “The part at the end where she’s giving birth?”

“You realize she’s not _actually_ giving birth, right?” Liam laughs. “It’s just special effects.”

“I know, but it’s still kinda gross.” Niall replies, cringing.

“So, let me ask you a question,” Liam says, “When you’re older and your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, you don’t want to be in the room?”

“Do I want to be in the room when she gets pregnant? Yes, absolutely.” Niall says and we all laugh.

I raise my hand and say, “Yes, I’d like to be in the room when my wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, too.”

Liam shakes his head and smiles, “That’s not what I mean and you know it. Would you want to be in the room when she’s _giving birth_?”

I answer with a serious look, “In that case…yes, I still want to be in the room.”

“Yeah, me too.” Liam nods.

Niall thinks about it for a few moments then answers, “Yeah, I guess I do. But I don’t want to watch the baby come out.”

“So…you want to be there for the birth but you don’t want to see the baby come out?” I ask.

"I want to be in the room but, like, I’ll stay up by her head. I don’t want to be down where I can _see_ , you know, her woman area getting all stretched out.” Niall explains, looking concerned.

“What about you, Zayn?” I ask, “Do you want to be in the room for the birth of your child?”

“I don’t think so; I get seasick real easy.” Zayn replies, holding a hand over his stomach and we all dissolve into laughter.

Harry asks through his laughter, “How much water do you think is involved in childbirth, Zayn?”

“A lot.” Zayn answers, trying to imitate Harry’s deep voice. “No, I don’t mean…I just meant that I have a dodgy stomach when it comes to gross things.”

Liam nods and looks to Harry. “How about you, Harry?”

“Yes, I’d want to be there.” Harry answers then explains further, “I think it’d be really beautiful to watch my child being born. Being there when they take their first breath and when they open their eyes for the first time…I think it’d be so amazing.”

We’re all quiet for a moment then I reach out to ruffle Harry’s hair as I say, “Damn! He’s the youngest and yet, he gave the best answer!”

The other guys laugh and take turns patting Harry’s shoulder or his hair and he bats our hands away then shakes his hair forward and brushes it to the side with his fingers, a move I’ve seen him do at least a thousand times. I’ve tried the same move with my own hair and it just ends up looking a mess but when Harry does it, his hair looks perfect.

Once we’ve all settled down, Liam says, “I think my parents have a video of my birth but…I don’t really want to see it. It’s a little strange to think of your mother in that state, you know?”

“Yeah, I’m the same way.” I tell him, “I don’t want to see the video of my birth either.”

“Hey, Harry?” Niall asks with a smile, “Does your mum have video of your birth?”

“I don’t think so. Why?” Harry quickly realizes the reason Niall is asking and says, “I swear to God, Niall, I will punch you in the throat!”

“I’m just saying, I’d like to watch it if she does have one.” Niall says teasingly, “And if there’s a video of her breastfeeding you—”

“Don’t say it, Niall!” Harry gives him a look of warning.

“I _definitely_ want a copy of that!” Niall wiggles his eyebrows and we all laugh as we watch Harry pounce on him, throwing pseudo punches and pretending to choke him while Niall apologizes and attempts to hold Harry’s wrists. 

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it, your mum is so hot!” Niall gasps out through his laughter and Harry finally pulls away.

“Don’t be disgusting.” Harry says and plops down next to me then fixes his hair again. “I’ve heard it all my life…‘Your mum is hot! She’s such a milf!’ That’s my mum, you know? I don’t want to hear that.” 

“I’m sorry; I won’t talk about her anymore.” Niall says with a smile, still trying to catch his breath. Then he adjusts his shorts and says, “Not gonna lie, that felt slightly homosexual…wrestling with you like that in just our underwear.”

Zayn laughs and tells him, “If that’s what you think gay sex is like, I think you might be doing it wrong.”

“Oh yeah? And how would you know what gay sex is like?” Niall asks and I feel myself becoming more and more uncomfortable with where the conversation is heading.

“I _wouldn’t_ know,” Zayn answers, “I wouldn’t do that. I mean, can you imagine taking it up the bum?”

“I didn’t realize you were such a homophobe, Zayn.” Harry says and when I look at him I can see that he’s trying to control his anger and feel my heart rate increase.

“I’m not a homophobe. I’m just saying I don’t see how those people can take it up the bum. I mean…ouch.”

“Those people?” Harry asks and my stomach starts to flip because I can see his body tensing; I’m afraid he’ll say something stupid and end up outing us to the rest of the group. 

I open my mouth to tell Zayn he needs to stop talking but Liam, God bless him, speaks before I can. “Okay, guys,” Liam holds his hands out in a placating manner, “Let’s just…calm down here. I don’t think Zayn meant anything by it, he’s just saying it’s not something _he_ wants. Right, Zayn?”

“Right.” Zayn says with a shrug, “I don’t have a problem with gay people; one of my cousins is gay.”

“Maybe we should change the subject, yeah?” I speak up finally, wanting so badly to reach out and rub Harry’s back to calm him but can’t bring myself to move.

“Good idea, let’s change the subject.” Liam agrees and pulls the last stack of pictures out of the box. “We’ll be done with our tour soon. Anyone have plans for after? Personally, I think I’m going to take Danielle on a nice trip. She said she’d like to go to Italy so I’ve started looking into that.”

“Yeah, I’m probably going to take my family somewhere.” Niall says, “Maybe Spain? It’s nice to finally have money to do that.”

Zayn signs the picture in front of him and says, “I’m not sure what I’m gonna do. I’ll probably catch up on some sleep.”

We all laugh at that because it seems like Zayn spends every spare moment sleeping so why would he need _more_ sleep? 

“Lou?” Liam asks me, “What are you going to do?”

“Um…I’ll probably go on holiday as well. I’d like to go to France again.” 

“France is awesome.” Harry says quietly.

“It is, I love it.” I continue, “I’m probably going to ask Eleanor to come with me. She’s never been and I think going away together would be a nice way to see if we can, you know, really make a go of it.”

“Wow, such a romantic holiday. Things are going well with her then?” Zayn asks and I nod.

“She’s pretty great.”

“You mean…she’s pretty great in bed.” Niall says and he and Zayn give each other a high-five.

“Boys, have some respect.” I say, but I know they’re just guys being guys so I add with a laugh, “You’re right though, she is pretty great in bed. Although…her oral skills could use a bit of work!”

“Well, she’ll have plenty of time to practice that if you take her to France with you.” Zayn tells me with a naughty look.

I nod in agreement. “I certainly hope so.”

Niall looks at Harry and asks, “How about you, Haz? Any plans?”

Harry keeps his head down and mumbles, “I’m undecided.”

“You said you were maybe going to try and find a new flat, yeah? That’ll be good?” Liam asks, sounding like he’s trying to cheer Harry up and I realize Harry does still seem kind of mad since his conversation with Zayn. Or maybe it was Niall’s comments about Harry’s mum that made him angry. None of us can stay mad at each other for very long though so I know he’ll get over whatever it is soon enough.

“Yeah, I do need to find a new place.” Harry answers finally and starts to stand up, putting the cap back on his pen.

“Where are you going?” Liam asks.

Harry tosses his pen into the box. “I’m tired; I’m going to bed.”

“But we’re not finished yet.” I tell him and point to the stack of pictures sitting next to Liam.

“Well, I _am_ finished.” Harry says with irritation and walks down the hall towards the bunks. 

I notice that Liam is giving me a pointed look and shaking his head like this is somehow all my fault and I look at Zayn and Niall, who have gone back to signing their pictures and watching the movie. 

I look back at Liam again and slowly mouth, “He’ll be fine.”

Liam lets out a huff and shimmies closer to me then whispers, “Go talk to him.”

“He just needs to be alone right now.” I reply as quietly as possible.

“I don’t think so. I think he’d probably like for you to talk to him; he seems pretty upset.” He answers as he hands me another picture to sign.

“Well, why shouldn’t Zayn or Niall talk to him? Why does it have to be me?” I ask and Liam looks at me like I’m a complete idiot.

“You really are a wanker, you know that?” He says and starts to move away from me but I put a hand on his arm.

“Hang on. Look, I’ll make it up to him later. Okay?” I whisper and he looks at me and shakes his head again then moves to his original spot on the floor.

I’d like to think that I know Harry a bit better than Liam does; I have been sleeping with the lad for about two years now after all. So I know exactly what will cheer him up. Now I just have to wait for everyone else to go to bed.

~*~

Harry…

I feel Louis sliding into my bunk and instantly start to seethe. Normally when he crawls into my bed horny like this, I’m all for it and turn around so that we can help each other get off. But right now I’m disgusted with him and it’s all I can do not to push his ass off the bunk and onto the floor!

I keep picturing Louis in France with _her_ , kissing and holding hands, taking pictures of each other in front of popular landmarks, having sex in some fancy French hotel…doing all the things I would fucking love to be able to do with him but I know I’ll probably never get to. The only thing he’d want me for is the sex and I’m now starting to realize it’s just not enough for me.

“Lou?” I whisper as he pushes his hips against my ass, wrapping his arm around me and reaching between my legs.

“Uh huh?” He breathes against my ear.

“Go to your own bunk.” I tell him and pull his hand away from my crotch.

“What?” He finally stops grinding against me.

“I _said_ go to your own bunk.”

“Are you being serious?”

“I’m completely serious. I don’t want you in here.” I can hear the anger in my own voice and bite the inside of my cheeks so I won’t say anything I’ll regret.

“Fine.” He breathes out in frustration then slides out of the bunk and I hear the curtain for his own bunk open and close.

A moment later, his curtain opens again and then mine slides open and I look over my shoulder at him.

“Come with me.” He says and reaches for my hand but I pull it away.

“No,” I tell him angrily, “I’m staying here. Leave me alone!”

“For fuck’s sake, would you be quiet?” He reaches further into the bunk to grab my wrist and says, “Just…come with me to the back of the bus before we wake everyone.”

“ _You’re_ the one waking everyone. _I’m_ just trying to sleep.”

Liam’s muffled voice cuts in from his bunk, “Guys? What’s goin’ on?”

I poke my head out and tell him, “Sorry if we woke you. Louis is being an asshole.”

“ _I’m_ being an asshole?” Louis says in a semi-whisper, “Because I want you to come to the back of the bus and talk to me?”

Liam slips out of his own bunk and lowers down to say to me, “Why don’t I come with you both to the back of the bus? I can mediate, yeah?”

I really don’t want Liam to have to get mixed up in this, and I feel terrible that we woke him so I sigh and stand up as I say, “It’s okay, Liam. I’ll go; you can go back to sleep.”

I squeeze his shoulder as I walk past him and Louis follows me to the back sitting area of the bus. He closes the accordion door and turns around to ask me, “What the fuck is going on with you?”

“You really are clueless, aren’t you.”

“Harry, if something is bothering you then you need to come out and say it. I’m not a bloody mind reader.”

“Fine. I don’t want to hear about you fucking Eleanor. I don’t want to hear about you taking her on holiday. In fact, I don’t want to hear about you doing _anything_ with her. Okay?”

“You’ve kind of made that abundantly clear already by always sulking away whenever I talk about her.”

“And yet, you continue to bring her up around me!”

“Shh! Would you keep your fucking voice down?” He says pleadingly and I know he’s right; the last thing we need is for everyone to hear us but I’m too angry and upset to really care.

He softens his voice and says, “Why do you have such a problem with her? She’s actually really nice if you’d just give her a chance.”

“It’s not _her_ I have a problem with.”

“Then…what is it?” He asks, looking genuinely confused.

“You’re so dense, Lou.” I say, trying to fight back the tears that seem to want to fill my eyes. I step closer so that I can hold his face and gently kiss his lips before whispering, “I’m in love with you. I didn’t mean for it to happen but it did, and now…I can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone but m—”

“Stop. Just stop.” He tells me and I feel my stomach clench as he steps away from me. “You’re not in love with me, Harry.”

“Yes, I—”

“No, you’re not. We’ve had a lot of really great sex together but that’s all.”

“Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. You and I are wonderful at being friends, and we’re _great_ in bed together but that’s not love. You’re only eighteen, you don’t—”

“You’re not that much older than me so don’t talk to me like I’m a child! I _know_ what I feel.”

“Did you really think we could be together as a couple?” He laughs bitterly. “Can you imagine the field day the media would have with that?”

“I don’t give a shit what the media thinks; I just want to be with you.” I reach out to hold his face again, feeling a tear slide down my cheek. “I don’t want to hide anym—”

“Stop!” Louis grabs my wrists and pulls my hands away from his face. “Please stop this, Harry. What we have is good; just…stop this nonsense before you ruin everything.”

He turns around to open the accordion door and walks away, leaving me feeling like I’ve been punched in the gut. He climbs into his bunk and slides his curtain closed, as if nothing’s wrong. As if it’s any other night on the bus and he hasn’t just rejected me so cruelly.

Slumping down in the loveseat, I look out the small window into the darkness and let the tears stream down my face, unable to fight them off any longer. I jump when I hear someone sliding the accordion door closed and when I look up, Liam is standing in front of me, giving me a sympathetic look. He lowers down and asks quietly, “You okay?”

I shake my head and wipe my face, trying to find my voice but I can’t seem to speak. Liam asks, “You want me to leave you alone?”

“No,” I choke out and shake my head again and he immediately pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist while I grasp his shoulders and cling tightly to his t-shirt, wishing the entire world would just disappear.

He maneuvers us around so that we’re both sitting on the loveseat, pulling me so that I’m practically sitting on his lap and I bury my face between his shoulder and his neck, feeling like my heart has just been torn out of my chest and tossed onto the road, somewhere between Texas and hell.

~ End Chapter Nine ~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=tumblr_m4pexfyStp1qlymo6.gif)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! Thank you! :)


	10. What Happens in Vegas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I just want to say that no disrespect is meant to Eleanor or anyone else in this story.  
> And again I want to thank everyone for the wonderful comments! :)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=647844165.gif)

Harry…

I gulp down a shot of purple liquid and feel it burn a bit as it slides down my throat. It tastes strong but good and I try to recognize what’s in the drink but all I really recognize is coconut so I set my empty shot glass down and ask Niall, “What was that called again?”

“A Purple Nurple. You like it?” He asks and I nod.

“It’s a bit of alright. Is that rum?”

“I think it’s vodka.” Niall says and downs his own shot then smacks his lips together. “Yep, definitely vodka but I think there’s something else.”

“It’s good, whatever it is.” I push my empty shot glass aside.

“I’m gonna get us a couple more beers. Want another Purple Nurple?”

I contemplate for a moment, trying to remember everything I’ve had to drink tonight, but then I remember that the whole point of this trip to the hotel bar was so that I can get completely obliterated so I tell Niall, “Yeah, let’s get another one. Why not, right?”

“That’s the spirit!” He smiles at me and walks to the other end of the counter to get the bartender’s attention.

We’ve got two shows here in Las Vegas before we travel back to California for three more shows and then this tour is over. I haven’t quite decided how I feel about that. We’ve had a lot of fun, shared a lot of laughs and met a lot of incredible fans; I’ll look back on this time with mostly fond memories. But there’s one thing I can tell you for sure, I don’t want to see the inside of another tour bus for a long long time!

And then there’s the issue of Louis and our “incident” on the bus, the biggest black spot on the tour thus far. I feel like I’ve been on autopilot for the past two weeks, going through the motions of interviews, concerts and meet-and-greets without being completely present mentally. I can put on a smile and say all the things I’m supposed to, I’ve certainly had enough practice at it, but on the inside I feel like I’m sliding into a very dark place and I don’t know how to stop it. 

I think Niall must’ve noticed that I’ve been a bit distant lately because he came to my room tonight and insisted we go to a fairly secluded karaoke bar he discovered on the second floor of our hotel. He told me, “You need a night of fun; I won’t take no for an answer!” So here we are.

We managed to find ourselves a couple of stools at the end of the bar, tucked away in a corner where we could keep an eye on the whole bar while staying somewhat out of the spotlight. Although, most of the bar’s patrons don’t exactly fit into our demographic so I don’t think we’re in any danger of being discovered. I have to admit it’s kind of nice just hanging out like a regular person, without our bodyguards having to fend off any fans.

Niall has a much higher tolerance for liquor than I do so I knew there was no way I could keep up with him; he says it’s because he’s Irish and I think that must be true because he’s always been able to drink me under the table. We started the night off with a couple of beers and quickly moved on to harder drinks, which I know probably isn’t a good idea considering we’ve got an early morning interview, an autograph signing after that and then our concert tomorrow night. But I’m feeling deliciously numb right now so I really don’t give a damn; I’ll deal with the consequences as they come.

Niall returns with two more Purple Nurples and two beers and sets them down in front of me before sliding onto the barstool next to mine. He grabs one of the shot glasses and holds it up as he says, “Cheers, mate!”

“Cheers!” I echo then down the shot in front of me and chase it with a large sip of beer.

Niall and I both cringe then laugh at each other’s faces. I tell him, “We’re gonna regret this tomorrow!”

“Don’t think about that right now!” He says and I notice that his Irish accent gets thicker and thicker the more he drinks. “We’re young and we’ve been workin’ hard; we deserve to have a little fun.”

I nod and hold up my beer bottle so that he can clink it with his. “Never surrender!”

“Never!” He yells with a smile and we both take another gulp of beer.

He dances in his seat when “I Gotta Feeling” by The Black Eyed Peas comes on and I pull my phone out to take a picture of him then quickly send it to Zayn with the message, _“come down here! ur missin out!”_

He replies shortly after to ask where we are and I reply _“karaoke bar, 2nd flr”_ then shove my phone back in my pocket and start to do a dance with Niall on our barstools, trying to emulate Liam’s “hair flick” move, which makes us both laugh.

Niall pulls his own phone out and says, “I’m gonna text Louis, see if he wants to come—”

“No!” I quickly reply and try to grab his phone but he holds it away from me.

He asks, “Why not? He might want to come down.”

“He won’t come down so it’s a waste of time.”

“What’s goin’ on between you two?”

“Nothing’s goin’ on.” I reply, looking into my empty shot glass. “We should get another shot.”

He shakes his head. “We should stick to beer for now. I don’t wanna hafta clean up your puke later.”

I pout at him although I know he’s probably right; I’m already starting to see double and I’m pretty sure my bladder is ready to explode.

“So,” Niall leans towards me and says, “I noticed you’ve been kind of quiet lately. You wanna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” I take another sip of beer.

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you. I’m a good listener, you know.”

I look at his flushed cheeks and shiny eyes and say, “You look like an angel, you know that?”

“Piss off.” He answers with a smile and shoves me playfully.

“No, really. You look like one of Santa’s helpers.”

“Well which is it, an angel or one of Santa’s helpers?” He asks and I tilt my head to examine his face.

“Both.” I reply and we both laugh.

“Thanks, I guess?”

“No problem.” I shrug. “Just sayin’ that you’re a good lookin’ bloke, s’all.”

Niall leans towards me to bump me with his shoulder. “Thanks, Harry. You’re pretty damn good lookin’ yourself.”

“Tanks.” I answer with a smile, trying to emulate his accent.

“And don’t think I didn’t notice that you changed the subject.”

“Oh? Were we talking about something?”

Niall sighs. “Look, I know something’s been bothering you, and I just want you to know you can talk to me. Okay?”

I take a sip of my beer and study his face, seeing that he’s completely sincere, then look around us at the other people in the bar, noticing that they all seem too busy in their own conversations to care about what we’re doing. Alcohol always seems to work as a truth serum for me so even though I know I should probably keep my mouth shut, I find myself wanting to tell Niall everything. 

Maybe it is the alcohol taking over, maybe it’s because I’m still hurt and angry over being rejected by Louis, or maybe I just feel like talking to a friend. Whatever the reason, I look Niall in the eyes and say, “Have you ever wanted someone so bad, you just feel like your whole world is gonna crumble if you can’t have them?”

“No, I can’t say that I have.” He answers a moment later.

“Well, I’m,” I look around again and lower my voice, “I seem to have fallen in love with someone. And…I can’t have him, not in the way I want him.” I finish with a shrug.

He lets that sink in before asking quietly, “Is it someone I know?”

I nod once. “Quite well.”

“Is it me?” He asks, leaning in closer and I laugh.

“No, although you are quite handsome, it’s not you.”

“Thank God, I was trying to think of a way to let you down easy.” He breathes a sigh of relief then seems to have an epiphany and says, “Oh Jesus, I’m an idiot.” He looks around then back to me and whispers, “It’s Louis, isn’t it?”

“Unfortunately, it is.” I look down at the counter, wishing I had another shot to drink. I feel Niall’s hand on my shoulder so I look over at him.

He says, “Does he know how you feel? Maybe if you told him—”

“He knows. He knows and…he rejected me. And now I feel like I don’t even know if we can be friends.”

“Is that why you’ve stopped rooming together?”

“Yeah, it was just too awkward to stay in the same room with him after…” I feel myself getting choked up so I clear my throat and say, “I fucked everything up.”

“Oh man. I’m so sorry, Harry.” He squeezes my shoulder and gives me a sympathetic look.

“Thanks Niall.” I turn so that I can hug him and almost slide off of my barstool but he holds me up and pats my back.

“You okay?” He asks and I pull back enough to look him in the eye.

“Yeah, but I really gotta pee.”

He laughs and points to a hallway behind us. “Bathroom’s back there.”

I slide the rest of the way off my stool and suddenly realize just how drunk I am when the whole room tilts.

“Whoa,” Niall says as he holds onto my arm. “You sure you’re okay? Need me to come to the toilet with you?”

“Nah, I’m okay.” I start to walk towards the hallway then turn back around and tell Niall, “You know you can’t tell anyone, right? About…you know.”

“I know,” He says with a nod, “You can trust me, I promise.”

I smile and grab his face so that I can kiss his cheek and hear him laughing as I start to walk away, carefully calculating each step.

The lights in the bathroom are way too bright so I squint and stumble to a urinal in the back, not making eye contact with the men who are using the other urinals because every guy knows, you mind your own business in the loo! As soon as the urine starts to flow, I shiver with relief and let out a loud sigh then remember that there are other people around me and press my lips together so I won’t embarrass myself further.

I zip my pants up and walk to the sink to wash my hands, laughing at my own reflection in the mirror because I look absolutely wrecked. My eyes are bloodshot, eyelids droopy, cheeks flushed… hell, even my hair looks drunk! I try to find the paper towels but all they have are the air dryers on the wall so I find an available one and lean against the wall, waiting until my hands are completely dry and trying to figure out why a lot of places don’t give you a paper towel option anymore. I mean, can’t I just get a paper towel?!

When I realize I’ve been standing next to the dryer for much longer than necessary, I finally move away and walk back to the mirror so I can fix my hair but after a minute I realize it’s pointless. It doesn’t really matter, it’s not like I’ve got anyone to impress. I stumble out of the bathroom and see that Zayn is standing with Niall at the bar so I lunge towards him and hug him from behind as I say, “I’m so glad you came!”

He laughs and pats my hands then turns around once I’ve let go of him and we give each other a proper hug. I hang on a little longer than I probably should, mostly because I feel like he’s helping me stay upright on what suddenly seems like a very unsteady floor, and I mumble against his shoulder, “You know, for a skinny fucker you sure are a good hugger. Hey, that rhymed! Kind of.”

Zayn pulls away and places his hands on my face to look at me before telling Niall with a laugh, “You were right, he is smashed!”

“M’not.” I reply indignantly and give Niall an accusatory look.

He holds his hands up and says, “I didn’t tell him you were smashed, I said you were _on your way_ to smashed.”

I climb onto my barstool again and see that there’s a fresh bottle of beer on a coaster so I ask Niall, “Did you order this for me?”

“Yep. I noticed you were almost done with your other one so I ordered a fresh one for you. Oh, and I ordered some lemon drops. The bartender should bring them soon.”

“What’s a lemon drop?” I ask.

“It’s delicious,” Zayn tells me, “you’ll see.”

I suddenly hear some really bad singing and look at the small karaoke bar at the far-end corner of the bar. The two women on the stage are clearly drunk and singing so off key that it takes me a minute to recognize they’re singing Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.

“They finally started the karaoke!” I say with a smile.

“Oh yeah,” Niall hands me a piece of paper, “This is the karaoke menu; I picked a song for us to sing together already.”

“You did? Which one?”

“You’ll see, you’re gonna love it.” He says then looks to Zayn. “We should pick a song for the three of us to sing.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Zayn says as he reads the song list over my shoulder. “Paul wants us to lay low; he’d probably have a fit if he knew we were even in here, much less bringing attention to ourselves by singing up there.”

“I don’t think anyone in here even knows who we are, we’ll be alright.” I tell him and point out an Usher song I know he likes to sing.

He shakes his head and tells me, “I better not; don’t wanna strain my voice.”

The bartender shows up with three vodka shots as well as lemon wedges nestled in a bowl of sugar so Niall pays him and when the bartender walks away, Zayn asks, “Did he even ask for your ID?”

“I gave him a very large tip when we ordered our first round of drinks,” Niall says in a whisper, “so he overlooked the fact that we’re underage.”

Zayn nods and sets up the shot glasses in front of us then hands us each a lemon wedge from the bowl of sugar. He says, “Okay, you’re going to take the shot of vodka then suck on the lemon wedge. Got it?”

“Got it.” Niall and I answer in unison.

“Good. Here we go. One, two, three!”

We each down our shot and I cringe as I shove the sugary lemon wedge between my teeth and suck on it.

“Woo hoo!” Niall exclaims, “That’s so good, mate!”

Zayn smiles at him then looks at me and asks, “Well? What do you think?”

I nod and give him a thumbs up before setting my lemon down and gasping, “Not bad.”

He pats me on the shoulder and hands me my beer. “Here, chase it down with this.”

I take a sip of beer and feel my stomach rolling. Zayn must see it on my face because he tells Niall, “No more shots for a bit.”

“Okay.” Niall agrees.

“You want me to order you some food?” Zayn asks but I shake my head.

“Nah, s’okay. M’alright.” Even I can tell I’m slurring and I wonder how in the hell I’m supposed to sing a song with Niall but when I look on stage and see a guy in his forties drunkenly singing Chumbawamba’s Tub Thumping while his drunk friends cheer him on, I know I can’t do much worse than him!

Zayn, Niall and I huddle together at our end of the bar and sing along with the crowd about getting knocked down then getting up again and when the song is over, we applaud loudly and watch the karaoke host walking back onto the stage with his clipboard.

He takes the microphone from Chumbawamba guy and says, “Thank you for that. Great job!” He reads from his clipboard and says, “Okay, up next we have Neal and Herman singing Summer Nights. Can I get Neal and Herman up here, please?”

“That’s us!” Niall hops down from his stool and grabs my arm.

“ _We’re_ Neal and Herman?” I ask and carefully stand up.

Niall shrugs. “It’s all I could come up with on short notice. C’mon!”

Zayn places a hand on my back and gives me a little shove, laughing as he says, “Go on, Herman! Have fun!”

Niall and I make our way to the stage and the host hands us both a microphone as he tells us, “You know how this works, right? You just follow the teleprompter?”

I nod and ask Niall, “Wait, what are we singing?”

“Summer Nights from Grease.” He answers and I smile because I love that song.

“Who’s singing which part?” I ask and the host shakes his head at us.

He says, “No offense, boys, but you probably should’ve worked all this out before you came up here.”

Niall sways to the music and tells me, “You sing the boy part since your voice is deeper.”

“Sounds good.” I sway with him and we break into a rather impressive version of Summer Nights, if I do say so myself.

I’ve always harmonized well with Niall and we definitely know how to put on a good show so it doesn’t take long for us to get the crowd going and they sing “Tell me more! Tell me more!” at the top of their lungs while Zayn smiles at us from his seat at the bar and takes pictures with his phone that I’m sure we’ll laugh at later.

It turns out Niall was right, this is just what I needed!

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=Loubeaniersz.jpg)

Louis…

I sit down on the edge of my bed with my phone to my ear and try to pay attention to what Eleanor is saying but my mind is a million miles away. It’s not just the fact that she’s been talking about her latest shopping trip for the past hour (I wish I were kidding) but I’ve just been so preoccupied with trying to find a way to fix things with Harry, if that’s even possible.

At first I was angry with him because what we had was _so good_ , and then he had to go and fuck it all up with a stupid proclamation of love. What was he thinking? Did he expect me to leap into his arms and start singing Wind Beneath My Wings to him? Did he think I would just throw everything that we’ve worked so hard for away? And for what? So that we can call ourselves boyfriends and walk in public holding hands? Does he even realize the ridicule we’d be opening ourselves up to and the danger we’d be putting ourselves in?

Harry’s a dreamer and a romantic so I can’t really continue to be angry with him; it’s in his nature to throw his feelings out there, no matter how disillusioned they might be. He looks at the world in such an idealistic way, I could almost see the stars in his eyes the first time I met him and maybe that’s what attracted me to him to begin with, because who wouldn’t want to be around someone who exudes such beauty and optimism.

I’m more realistic. I know that the world can be an ugly place and the people in it can be even uglier. When I was younger I was teased for acting feminine, for having limp wrists and “girly” mannerisms, but I was just acting the way that came naturally for me. I would always try to explain that I had four sisters, I was the only boy in the house, but people didn’t care about _why_ I acted the way I acted, they just wanted me to stop. So I practiced acting more masculine, walking more manly and trying not to let my wrists bend in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable.

I still don’t think of myself as being gay, which might seem ridiculous considering I’ve been having sex with a boy for two years now. And he’s not even the first one I’ve been with. There was another boy I was friends with when I was younger; his name was Keegan and I thought he was adorable in the dorkiest of ways, and he looked at me in a way I’d never been looked at by another boy. We experimented with each other and I was so happy when we were together, I wanted to be with him all the time, hold his hand in public and proclaim to the world that he was my boyfriend.

But I quickly learned what would happen if we showed affection in public the same way that a boy and girl did. We went to a party together one night and decided to walk home afterwards, still riding high on the fun we had with our friends. Keegan reached out to hold my hand while we walked and it felt so natural, so good, I didn’t think much of it. I was so busy telling him a story that at first I didn’t notice the car that had slowed down and was watching us walk hand-in-hand down the street. The first thing that alerted me to trouble was when Keegan let go of my hand and told me we might need to get ready to run.

He couldn’t have been more right; within seconds the car had stopped and three boys jumped out and chased after us, yelling that they were going to kill us when they caught us. Keegan and I ran as fast as we could, hearing their voices behind us yelling that we were filthy cock-suckers and disgusting poofs and telling us we should be locked up. 

Thanks to my years of playing football, I’ve always been a fast runner and Keegan managed to keep up with me, probably from sheer adrenaline, and we lost them on a side street and hid in a darkened doorway until we couldn’t hear them any longer. I’d never been so scared before in my life and insisted we stand in that doorway until we were sure they were gone and our hearts had time to slow down to a normal rate. 

I kept picturing my mother’s face and how devastated she’d be if something happened to me and I felt guilty for being so selfish, for thinking of my own pleasure instead of the consequences and ridicule that my family would have to endure. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had this revelation because the next day Keegan told me we couldn’t hang out after school anymore. He said we could still be friends while we were in school but he distanced himself from me more and more each day until eventually he wouldn’t even look me in the eye.

So I dated girls, because that’s what I’m supposed to do. I even managed to ignore any attraction I had to other boys, until Harry came along. Harry and I were like magnets, there was no way to ignore the things that I felt for him and he made it so easy. He’s always been so open and inviting, with his stupid dimples and mop of curly hair…I could never resist him.

But we can’t be together as a couple, it’s just not possible. Not only would it change everything for the group, it has the potential of ruining both of our lives. I’ve heard the jokes that are made about Lance Bass and Adam Lambert; I know that when someone famous comes out, that’s all anyone wants to talk about. It doesn’t matter how talented you are or how many other things you have to talk about, _everything_ becomes about your sexuality. Harry and I would become the punch line of so many jokes and One Direction would no longer be about five good-looking guys making music; instead it would be “that group with those two faggots in it”. I can’t let that happen.

Eleanor clears her throat and asks, “You still there?”

I almost start to laugh because she’s been chatting away for over an hour and I can honestly say I haven’t heard much of anything that’s been said.

“I’m here,” I finally tell her, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit distracted.”

“Oh God, I’ve been rambling and I haven’t let you talk much. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I…I don’t have much to say right now, to be honest.” I run my fingers through my hair and massage the back of my neck because I feel a headache coming on.

“My friends always tell me I should start a blog and call it ‘Shopping and Starbucks’ because those are my favorite things. I kind of tend to ramble about them.” She laughs and adds, “Pretty stupid, huh?”

“No, it’s not stupid. You’re into what you’re into.”

“Well, let’s talk about something you want to talk about.”

“Actually, I’m really tired and we’ve got an interview early in the morning so I should probably call it a night.”

“Oh,” She says, sounding disappointed, “okay then. We’ll talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll phone you tomorrow.”

“Talk to you then. Bye.”

“Bye, El.” I end the call and flop back onto the bed with a sigh, thinking about taking a shower but decide I really don’t feel like moving.

Picking up my phone again, I check my messages and see that Zayn has sent me a few new pictures, the first couple are of Niall and Harry singing karaoke, and the third and fourth are of Niall, Harry and Zayn sitting at a bar, holding their beers up and making funny faces, obviously having a good time.

I knew Harry would be okay and clearly he’s doing just fine. I just hope he realizes Paul is going to kick his ass for making a spectacle of himself and drinking out in public in a country where he’s not old enough to drink!

Zayn sends me a text that simply says, _“You should come down here!”_

I type my reply quickly… _“Have a headache, going to bed early. Have fun!”_

After hitting send, I turn my phone off and place it on the nightstand then turn the light out and climb under the covers so that I can try to get some sleep.

~*~

Harry…

To say I’m drunk would be an understatement; I’d say I passed drunk about three drinks ago and have now crossed into sloppy-ohmygod-how-am-I-still-standing drunk. Niall and I sang another song together then convinced Zayn to join us for Don’t Stop Believin’, which we nailed, thank you very much! 

The temperature in the bar feels like it’s gone up at least twenty degrees since we arrived and I can think of nothing that would feel better than a nice swim in the hotel pool so I tell Zayn, “Hey, c’we go ou’side?”

He nods and finishes off his beer then burps and tells me, “Yeah, I need a smoke.” He turns to Niall and lets him in on our plans so Niall puts his snapback on and they walk on either side of me, each with an arm around my waist and I realize they’re helping me stay upright as we walk towards the elevator then down to the pool.

There are a few people swimming and a few people sitting in lounge chairs and we walk until we find a round metal table where we can sit in semi-privacy. Zayn pulls out a cigarette and places it between his lips then finds his lighter and I watch with fascination as he lights the end of his cigarette. He notices me watching and furrows his brow then blows the smoke into the night air and asks, “What?”

“Can I have one?” I ask and he laughs sardonically.

“You don’t smoke.”

“C’mon, jus’ lemme have one.”

“No, Harry. You’re not a smoker and I’d like to keep it that way.” Zayn explains and takes another hit off of his cig then reaches out to pat my head like I’m a dog so I swat him away.

Niall takes his shoes off and stands up so that he can dip his toes into the water and says, “Oh man, that feels so good!”

“Warm?” I ask and start to take my own shoes off.

“It’s perfect, not too warm but not too cold.” Niall says and Zayn goes in search of an ashtray.

“M’goin’ in.” I pull my shirt off then stand up to remove my jeans.

Niall quickly walks over to me. “Just leave your underwear on, _please_.”

I laugh and hook my thumbs into the waistband of my underwear, pretending that I’m going to pull them down but he grabs my wrists to stop me so I tell him, “I’s jus’ jokin’. Sheeze, Niall.”

“Yeah, well, I know you. You’d strip naked in a second if these people weren’t here.”

Zayn comes back with an ashtray and says, “ _No one’s_ stripping naked. Got it, Harry?”

I roll my eyes and place my clothes on the back of the chair then take a moment to look at my two friends, Niall with his angelic face and Zayn with his chiseled bone structure and dark eyes. I feel so lucky to have them in my life so I hold my arms out as I tell them, “I love you guys, y’know that?”

They both laugh but move closer to hug me and I squeeze tight to both of them and say, “You’re my brothers.”

“We love you, too.” Zayn tells me and Niall nods against my shoulder.

When they let go, I say, “Now, if you’ll ‘scuse me, I gotta pee in the pool.”

I listen to them laugh as I stumble towards the pool and jump right into the deep end in what I’d hoped would look like a cannonball but probably looked more like a drunk guy flailing.

~*~

Louis…

I lie awake for what seems like ages and finally decide to turn the light on so that I can watch a little telly, but a ruckus in the hallway grabs my attention so I stand up and look through the peephole to try and see what’s going on. I don’t see anything at first but I distinctly hear Niall’s voice and then Zayn’s so I open my door and look down the hall to see Harry, who’s wrapped in a beach towel, being carried by our bodyguard Andy while Niall and Zayn follow behind, carrying Harry’s clothing.

“Guys? What’s goin’ on?” I ask and Niall turns to me just as Liam’s door opens across the hallway.

“What’s happening? Everything alright?” Liam asks, running his fingers through his messy hair, looking like he’s just woken up.

“Harry’s fuckin’ hammered.” Niall answers both of us and I watch as Andy tries to set Harry on his feet but he almost falls over so Andy hoists him up again. Niall continues, “He went swimming and we tried to keep him in his underwear but you know how he is.”

Zayn joins in with a bit of a laugh, “Yeah, he took his underwear off in the pool and we didn’t even notice at first, but then he was floating on his back and…there it all was.”

“We still don’t know where his underwear ended up.” Niall says and he and Zayn both laugh.

“Oh shit, were other people out there?” I ask and Zayn shrugs.

“There were…maybe five people? They weren’t in the pool, though, so I’m hoping no one was paying attention.”

“But we better check out Twitter, just in case, because there may very well be a picture of Harry’s willy posted before morning.” Niall and Zayn laugh again but stop when Andy calls out from in front of Harry’s hotel room door.

“You guys wanna help me out here? I need to find his key.” Andy says so Niall and Zayn walk towards him as they search through Harry’s clothing.

“It’s not here.” Niall says and Andy shakes his head.

“Harry, where is your key?” Andy asks very slowly and Harry looks at him through one bleary eye.

“Key?”

“Yes, your hotel room key. Where did you put it?”

“M’pocket.” Harry answers and I notice that he’s shivering.

“But it’s _not_ in your pocket,” Andy explains to him, “Where else could it be?”

Harry looks confused and I know there’s no way he’ll be able to remember where his key is so I’m about to offer up my room but Liam beats me to it.

“Just bring him in here,” Liam says so Andy turns to walk down the hallway towards Liam’s room, readjusting Harry in his arms and quickening his pace when Harry announces he’s going to throw up.

I walk into my own room to grab my key and pull a t-shirt on before walking across to Liam’s room. Harry is already positioned in front of the toilet and heaving when I walk in, and Liam is trying to hold Harry’s hair away from his face with one hand while trying to grab some tissue with the other.

Zayn holds a hand over his stomach and groans, “I gotta go to my own room.”

“You gonna throw up?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“Nah, but I can’t listen to him puking. Like I said, I get seasick real easy.”

He brushes past me and opens the door so that he can head to his own room and Niall is standing in the corridor looking like he’s turning green as well so I ask, “You okay?”

“Yeah, but I can’t go in there. If I see him getting sick, I’ll get sick.”

Liam calls out from the bathroom, “What did you drink that was purple?”

“Purple Nurples.” Niall answers.

Harry takes a break between heaves to yell, “Don’t say it!”

Andy walks out of the bathroom and tells Niall, “I don’t know what the hell you were thinking, getting him drunk like this. Do you even know how much trouble you could’ve all gotten in?”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Niall replies sincerely, “We just wanted to have a little fun.”

Andy sighs and tells him, “You can go to your own room now. There’s no reason for us all to be here.” He turns to me, “You should go to bed, too. I’ll stay and help Liam.”

Liam calls out, “No, I want Louis to stay!”

I look at Niall and he shrugs and walks towards the bathroom to ask, “You don’t want me to stay, Li?”

“No, just Louis.” Liam appears in the doorway and says, “Andy, you can go. Louis is going to stay and help me.”

He gives me a serious look so I tell Andy tentatively, “Yeah, I’ll stay and help. You and Niall can go.”

Niall quickly leaves and Andy follows shortly after, once he’s made sure that everything’s under control, and after they’re both gone I slowly approach the bathroom. Harry has stopped heaving for the moment and Liam flushes the toilet and wipes the rim of the bowl with tissue while Harry rocks back and forth and shivers.

“I’m gonna go find a blanket for him.” I whisper and Liam nods.

“Good idea.” He says and as I’m walking away, he adds, “There’s a clean pair of boxers in my black bag, will you grab them?”

“Okay.” I answer and find a soft navy blue blanket in the closet then search through Liam’s bag until I find a pair of red plaid boxers.

I walk back into the bathroom just as Harry starts to throw up again and I try not to look. (Call me crazy, but I’ve never really enjoyed watching people vomit!) I place the boxers on the towel rack and keep my body turned towards the shower, trying to look anywhere that _isn’t_ the toilet.

Liam says, “Louis, I need a wet washcloth.”

I grab one of the washcloths from the towel rack and turn on the water then ask, “Hot or cold?”

“Cold but not too cold.” He answers and I try to adjust the temperature to his liking.

He takes the washcloth from me and places it on the back of Harry’s neck then whispers soothing words while Harry empties the last of the contents of his stomach and I think for the millionth time what a saint Liam is. 

I feel bad for not helping more so I ask, “What can I do?”

“You’ve done enough, don’t you think?” Liam says and I swear I detect a hint of sarcasm but Liam doesn’t really do sarcasm so I can’t be sure.

Harry seems to be finished so he slumps against the wall and adjusts the beach towel to cover his midsection. He mumbles, “M’sorry, Liam.”

“It’s okay, Hazza. You’ve just had a bit too much to drink.” Liam wipes the toilet down again and flushes it then grabs some tissue and wipes Harry’s face as he asks him, “You feel a bit better now that you got some out?”

Harry shakes his head and his face crumbles as he starts to cry. I feel my own heart aching when he says, “I don’t wanna feel anythin’.”

“I’m sorry, I know you’re hurting.” Liam comforts him, pulling him into as much of a hug as he can, then he looks over his shoulder at me with a death glare I didn’t even think Liam was capable of and I suddenly feel about two feet tall because I now know why he wanted me to stay and help him.

He thinks _I’m_ responsible for this. I’m the reason Harry’s done this to himself and Liam wanted me to have to stare it in the face. But who is Liam to meddle in our business? Although I suppose we kind of shoved him right into the middle of it. Still, it’s not his job to place blame or make me feel guilty when he doesn’t even know my side of things! He doesn’t know how _I’m_ feeling so why does he think it’s okay to judge me?

“You know what? I don’t need this shit.” I say and walk out of the bathroom but Liam stands up and follows me.

“You’re not leaving; you’re going to stay here and face this.”

I turn around and tell him, “Look, I get it, okay?”

“I really don’t think you do,” Liam whispers, “I tried to warn you that this would happen.”

“I _know_ , Liam. I understand now. I get it so just let me—”

“No, you don’t get shit.” He says angrily, “You crushed him, Louis. You used him and you crushed him and then you just walked away.”

“We used each other! Look, you haven’t been there all along so don’t act like you know everything about our relationship.”

“Well then, please explain it to me because I don’t understand how you could do that to someone you’re supposed to care about.”

“I _do_ care about him.” I say then swallow down the lump in my throat, “And I do love him, Liam. But I can’t love him in _that way_.

“But… _why_?” He asks, his voice softening.

I let out a long breath and say, “It’s a long story and I really can’t get into it right now, but I promise you that I have my reasons.”

He shakes his head at me and points to the bathroom. “I need to get back in there but let me just say this,” He reaches out to grab my shoulders and I actually flinch because for a second I think he’s going to hit me, “I love you, Louis, I really do. I think you’re a great person and you are one of my best friends. But if you walk out of this hotel room right now, you are one of the douchiest douches that ever douched. Do you hear me?”

I nod and tell him, “I won’t leave. I’m here, I’ll help.”

He gives me a brief hug and I start to laugh as we walk back to the bathroom. I look at him and say, “The douchiest douche that ever douched, huh?”

“You like that? I thought it was pretty good.” Liam smiles proudly and I’m so impressed by him it actually brings tears to my eyes.

When we walk into the bathroom, Harry is curled up against the wall with the blue blanket wrapped around him and for a moment I think he’s asleep but he looks up at us through heavy-lidded eyes and slurs, “E’rything okay?”

“Yeah, we just had a nice talk.” Liam tells him and lowers down to brush the hair back from Harry’s forehead.

“Yeah?” Harry asks, “Whad’ya talk about?”

“Just things and stuff.” Liam replies and Harry huffs out a laugh.

I reach for the boxers from the towel rack. “Here, let’s get these on him.”

“Y’know, I’m sitting right here,” Harry says, directing his drunken stare at me, “You could talk _to me_.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” I tell him and lower down to ask, “Do you think you can stand up?”

“I can try.” Harry replies and Liam and I each take an arm to help him stand. I slide the boxers onto his legs and up his thighs and adjust the waist so that everything’s straight, then I wrap the blanket around him again and hold him from behind, thankful that he doesn’t push me away.

Liam puts some toothpaste on the complementary toothbrush and runs it under the water before telling Harry, “Now, let’s get those teeth brushed because no offense but…your breath could probably kill a horse right now.”

Harry laughs as Liam brushes his teeth for him and I continue to hold him from behind, mostly because I’ve missed this; I’ve missed being close to him, and I don’t just mean the sex.

Once Harry’s teeth are rinsed, the three of us walk together to the bedroom and I ask, “Are we all sleeping in the same bed?”

“I’m up for it if you are.” Liam answers and Harry flops face-first onto the comforter.

“I guess Harry doesn’t mind.” I say with a laugh then Liam and I work together to maneuver Harry around so that we can lay down on either side of him on the bed.

It takes me what seems like forever to get comfortable, probably because I’m used to being spooned up behind Harry but Liam has taken up that position, so I finally turn onto my side with Harry spooned behind me and decide it’s not so bad. 

Harry is snoring in no time and Liam lifts his head to say to me, “I don’t suppose we’re going to get much sleep tonight.”

“Nope.”

After another moment, Liam whispers, “Hey, Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if I yelled at you.”

“It’s okay, I deserved it.” I turn my head and tell him, “I was really proud of you.”

“You were?”

“Mm hmm. You, like, took the bull by the horns and took control of the whole situation. You actually scared me a little.”

“I did?” He asks with a laugh.

“You did, I swear.”

“Well, that’s good, because sometimes you need someone to kick you into shape.”

“I know I do.”

Harry suddenly lifts his head and slurs, “W'you two shut up? Sheeze.” 

Liam and I laugh and apologize and Harry lays his head back down again and mumbles, “Thanks for takin’ care of me. I love you guys.”

“We love you, too.” Liam says and I whisper the same.

Harry’s arm slides around me and he grasps my hand; he’s so drunk that I don’t know if he even knows what he’s doing but it still feels good so I link our fingers together and think to myself that even if I don't get much sleep tonight, this moment right here is pretty nice.

~ End Chapter Ten ~


	11. Silence is Golden

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=Hazwhtshthans.jpg)

Harry…

As I drift into consciousness, I can hear Louis and Liam’s muffled voices in the room and try to focus on what they’re saying…

“You go do damage control with Paul and I’ll wake Harry up.” Louis whispers.

“Okay.” I hear what sounds like a medicine bottle rattling and Liam says, “Here, give him these. And make sure he drinks all of the water because he’s probably dehydrated.”

“I will.” Louis replies and I feel like I should let them know I’m awake because it’s a little strange to listen to them talking about me when I’m right here, but the bed is so cozy and warm and something tells me I’m going to be in a world of hurt if I try to open my eyes.

“Text me or something once you’ve assessed the damage,” Louis says, “let me know what kind of trouble Harry’s looking at.”

“Will do.” Liam replies and I hear the door to the hotel room open.

The door closes again and I try to listen for Louis in the room but it’s so quiet that I can’t tell where he is until I feel him sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. I finally blink my eyes open and I was right, my head is pounding and even though the lights aren’t on, there’s enough light coming in through the curtains to torture my sensitive retinas.

Louis gives me a cautious smile and says, “Hey.”

“Hey.” I reply in barely a whisper because my throat is on fire. I start to sit up and the room spins so I close my eyes again and groan, feeling more miserable than I’ve felt in a long time. Once I’m sitting fully upright in the bed, I pull my knees to my chest and keep my eyes tightly closed, pressing my cheek to one knee and hugging my legs.

“I’m going to turn the light on, okay?” Louis tells me then reaches over to the lamp on the nightstand and switches it on.

I groan again and pull the sheets up to cover my head because the light is just too painful; it makes the throbbing in my head so much worse.

Louis says, “I know this is a stupid question but…how are you feeling?”

I slowly pull the sheet down so that my face isn’t covered. “Like I got hit by a truck,” I smack my lips together, cringing, “and I’m pretty sure a homeless dog crawled into my mouth while I was sleeping.”

Louis wrinkles his nose and I pull the sheet up to cover my head again, suddenly self-conscious because I feel disgusting and he looks so beautiful, with his incredible blue eyes and his hair tucked up under a beanie and just enough fringe poking out to frame his perfect face.

He tugs on the sheets and laughs a little as he says, “What are you doing? Come out from there.”

I hold onto the sheet and hide my head between my knees. “No, I’m hideous. I don’t want you to see me.”

“You are not hideous, stop that.” He tells me, speaking softly and I allow him to pull the sheet down a bit.

I let my eyes drift to his face again as he reaches out to try and smooth down my hair, slowly running his fingers through the curls around my ears, and a shiver runs through me because it feels so good. I’ve always loved the way his fingers feel in my hair.

He lowers his hands again and lets out a long breath. We just look at each other for a few moments and I decide not to say anything because I want him to speak first. Every time I open my mouth I just seem to embarrass myself, so silence is golden from now on. (Plus, I’m positive my breath really is wretched.)

He finally says, “So, I guess we need to talk.”

“Not now, Lou.” I tell him pleadingly, “I just…I can’t right now.”

“Okay, it’s okay. I know you’re not feeling well.” He replies then reaches for two white pills and a glass of water from the nightstand. “Liam said to give you these.”

He drops the pills into my palm and I pop them in my mouth then take the glass of water and wash the pills down. I start to place the water down on the nightstand but Louis tells me, “Ah ah, you have to drink all of it.”

“Why?”

“Liam’s worried you’re dehydrated.”

I pick up the water again and drink as much as I can, only leaving a small amount at the bottom of the glass. My bladder starts to throb so I set the glass down and slide my legs off the side of the bed so that I can stand up.

Louis places a hand on my arm and asks with concern, “You okay? Are you going to throw up again?”

Shaking my head, I reply, “Gotta piss.”

I quickly walk to the bathroom and he follows me and leans against the doorway while I relieve my bladder. When I’m done, I turn to use the sink and notice that I’m wearing a pair of red plaid boxers that I’m almost certain aren’t mine.

“Um…whose underwear are these?” I ask and Louis smiles a little.

“Liam’s.”

“Why am I wearing Liam’s…” I look around the bathroom and see that none of my things are in here. I recognize Liam’s toiletry bag and his light up toothbrush and ask, “Am I in Liam’s room?”

“You are. You slept here last night. So did I.” 

“Where did Liam sleep?”

“He slept here as well. We all slept together, you don’t remember?”

I furrow my brow and try to remember if I had a threesome with Louis and Liam last night but nothing comes to mind. (I’d remember something like that, wouldn’t I?!) I turn to Louis and say somewhat jokingly, “My bum doesn’t feel particularly sore, so…”

“Don’t worry,” He replies with a laugh, “it wasn’t anything kinky. We literally _slept_ together.”

I sigh with relief and ask, “What on earth happened last night?”

“How much do you remember?”

“Not much, to be honest.” I pick up the tube of toothpaste from the counter, prepared to use my finger as a toothbrush if I have to but Louis points out a blue toothbrush with the hotel’s logo on the side.

“This is yours; Li used it to brush your teeth for you last night.” He explains so I grab the toothbrush and squeeze a generous amount of toothpaste onto it then run it under the water before bringing it to my mouth.

“So, I’ll fill you in on what I know about last night.” He says as he leans against the counter next to me, “Apparently you sang karaoke with Niall, and then you went for a skinny dip in the hotel pool. Ring any bells?”

I stop brushing for a moment to answer, “I remember karaoke and I vaguely remember swimming but…I don’t remember getting naked.”

I start to brush my teeth again and Louis explains, “Niall said they couldn’t find your underwear, which is why you’re wearing Liam’s.”

“Where the hell did they end up?” I ask through the toothpaste foam in my mouth.

“Probably in the bushes downstairs,” Louis replies, smirking, “Or maybe some lucky fan got a lovely souvenir?”

“Oh shit.” I reply before bending down to rinse my mouth.

“Yeah, Paul’s probably going to rip you a new one for that.”

“Maybe he didn’t find out.”

“I’m pretty sure Andy told him. You know they tell each other everything.”

“How does Andy know?” I ask as I dry my face with a hand towel.

Louis seems to hesitate but finally tells me, “He carried you up here from the pool.”

“He _carried_ me?”

“Yeah, I guess Zayn and Niall had to call him for help. You were pretty out of it. You threw up quite a bit once you got back here.”

“No wonder my throat is killing me.” I cover my face with my hands and groan into my palms, “I’m in so much trouble.”

The door to the hotel room opens and Liam walks in, calling out to us as he walks towards the bathroom. He smiles at me and says, “Oh good, you’re up. How you feelin’?”

“Like shit.” I answer and give him a sheepish look. “I’m sorry I ruined your night, Liam.”

“Rubbish,” He waves away my apology, “You didn’t ruin my night. We always promised we’d take care of each other, right?”

“Well, I owe you one.” I move towards him and pull him into a hug. “Someday when you’re sick, I’ll take care of you.”

“Sounds good.” Liam replies with a smile and pats my back.

“So, what’s going on with Paul? Is he really angry?” Louis asks and Liam turns to look at him.

“Oh yeah, he’s pretty mad.” He pulls a keycard out of his back pocket and hands it to me. “This is for you. It’s to replace the one that got lost.”

“Thank you,” I tell him then gasp, “Oh shit, where’s my phone? And my wallet?”

“Niall has them.” Liam tells me calmly, “He held onto them for you, thank goodness, but we don’t know what happened to your key.”

I hunch my shoulders and look at the floor. “Maybe I’ll avoid Paul today; he can’t yell at me if I’m not around for him to yell at, right?”

“Afraid that’s not possible,” Liam says, “He’s expecting us to come down for breakfast right now. Niall and Zayn are already there and Andy’s waiting for us in the hall. He’s going to walk us down.”

“I don’t suppose you can just tell them I’m not hungry?” I ask and Liam shakes his head.

“It’ll be okay. Right, Louis?”

“Yeah, you’ll be fine.” Louis gives me a reassuring look. “It’s not the first time we’ve made Paul mad. Just give him your best puppy dog eyes and he’ll probably go easy on you.”

I let out a long-suffering sigh. “Okay, well…I need to get some clothes from my room first, and my sunglasses.”

“We’ll come with you.” Liam says and Louis nods in agreement.

All I really want to do is crawl back into bed and stay there for the rest of the day but I know I can’t hide forever. It’s time to face the music.

~*~

Andy leads the way to the first floor, guiding the three of us to a semi-private booth in the back corner of the restaurant where Paul, Niall and Zayn are already sitting, waiting for us.

I hesitate a few feet from the table because Paul’s steely, tight-lipped stare sends a chill down my spine and makes me want to run from the restaurant, but Liam, being the rock that he always is, places a hand at the small of my back and when I look at him, he smiles ever so slightly, assuring me everything’s going to be okay so I take the last few steps towards the table.

Niall is hunched over and sipping from a coffee mug he’s holding with both hands, looking almost as miserable as I do so I slide into the booth next to him and pat his leg as I whisper, “How you feelin’?”

He looks at me and sighs and I just have to laugh because his expression says so much, he doesn’t need to explain any further. He hands me my phone and wallet so I thank him and shove them in my back pocket as I look around the rest of the table.

Zayn is seated next to Paul and he’s drawing on his paper placemat with a set of crayons that the restaurant gives out to children to keep them occupied so they don’t disturb the other patrons. It’s funny because we always get mad when people treat us like children, yet you put a box of crayons and some paper in front of us and we can’t resist!

Louis sits to my right and starts to look around the table. He asks, “Are the menus around here somewhere or do we have to get them from the waitress?”

“I ordered for you.” Paul answers then picks up his coffee mug to take a sip.

“You ordered for me?” Louis asks, scrunching up his face, “What if I don’t like what you ordered?”

“I know what you like to eat, Louis.” Paul tells him in a tone that lets him know he shouldn’t ask any more questions.

I want to ask if he ordered something for me but it doesn’t really matter, I feel so sick to my stomach that I probably won’t eat it anyway. I _would_ like some tea, though, and maybe some dry toast, but there’s no way I’m telling Paul that.

While Louis and Liam are busy talking to Paul, Niall nudges my leg with his own so I look at him and he whispers, “Are you doin’ okay?”

“I feel terrible. My head hurts so bad. Even my _eyeballs_ are hurting.” I answer quietly.

“Yeah, I don’t feel so good either. Probably not as bad as you, but I plan on taking a very long nap after our signing today.” Niall says then adds in barely a whisper, “Zayn and I got chewed out by Paul this morning; he’s _so mad_.”

“I have a feeling I’m next, I’m just wondering when.”

Like clockwork, Paul clears his throat and says, “Harry, take your sunglasses off and look at me.”

I reluctantly remove my sunglasses and set them on the table in front of me.

“How old are you?” He asks and I look at him slightly confused because he knows damn well how old I am. 

I answer cautiously, “Eighteen.”

“And what’s the drinking age here in Nevada?” He asks and I finally understand what his point is.

I sigh, “Twenty one.”

“That’s right, twenty one. So, should you be out getting smashed where the whole world can see you, in a state where you’re three years below the legal drinking age?”

“But _you_ let me drink sometimes.”

“I do occasionally let you have _a beer_ when we’re just hanging out and it’s somewhere private, _not_ in a crowded karaoke bar where everyone has a camera on their phone. And what would possess you to go skinny dipping in the hotel pool? Are you _trying_ to have your dick posted all over the internet?”

I instantly feel a wave of nausea and ask, “Did someone post pictures?”

“Not that we’ve found yet, thank God. And you’re fuckin’ lucky, you know that? Because things could’ve gone horribly wrong last night.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I put my head down, hoping he’ll go easy on me because my head is killing me.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking lately,” Paul continues to berate me, his anger seeming to grow the more he talks, “You’ve done some really stupid shit on this tour but it’s like you’re bound and determined to get yourself arrested!”

“Paul, take it easy.” Andy says, surprising everyone at the table because usually Andy and Paul are in complete agreement.

“Take it easy?” Paul glares at Andy, “Are you kidding me?”

Andy waves a hand in my direction and explains, “He was puking his guts out last night and he clearly doesn’t feel well this morning, so maybe give the kid a break, yeah?”

The tension at the table is palpable and we all sit in silence as we wait for Paul and Andy to hash it out. It kind of reminds me of when one of my relatives has a little too much to drink and picks a fight during the holidays, leaving us all feeling awkward and uncomfortable. 

Paul finally seems to calm himself down a little and he looks at me and says, “We’re in the home stretch here; can you _please_ just make it through the rest of the tour without getting into trouble? Because I don’t want to have to call your mother and explain to her why you’re in jail or in the hospital.”

I nod and tell him, “I’ll be good, I promise.”

Paul picks up his paper placemat and turns it over so the plain side is up then he takes the black crayon from Zayn’s hand and Zayn starts to protest but decides better of it and simply picks up another color to draw with.

I look at Niall with confusion but he looks just as confused as I am. Paul starts to write on his placemat and tells me, “I’m putting you on vocal rest for the remainder of the day.”

“What about our interview?” I ask, whining a little.

“If the interviewer asks you a question directly, you can answer it _quietly_.” Paul says then hands me the placemat, which reads, “I’M ON VOCAL REST. SORRY.”

“What about the autograph signing?” Liam chimes in, “Won’t it be kind of rude of him not to talk to the fans?”

“He’ll be wearing this sign,” Paul replies, “I’ll find a piece of string once we’re done here so he can hang the sign around his neck.” He looks at me again and says, “I don’t want to hear a peep out of you for the rest of the day, not until the concert, you hear me?”

I nod slowly and try to give him my best puppy dog eyes, just like Louis said I should, but Paul shakes his head at me and says, “I’m doing this for your own good, Harry. You’ve got to be able to sing tonight and your voice sounds like shit. Do you think you’d be able to hit the high note in Gotta Be You right now?”

I shake my head a little and look down at the table, feeling ashamed because I know he’s right; my voice is pretty shot and the rest of the group is counting on me to be able to carry my part of the harmonies during our concert, not to mention my numerous solos.

Niall squeezes my hand under the table and tells Paul, “If he can’t sing it, I can probably cover him,” He looks at me almost apologetically and whispers, “Just for tonight.”

“Thanks Niall.” I reply and Paul pounds his fist on the table, making us all jump.

“What did I just fuckin’ tell you, Harry?” Paul says, “I just told you _not a peep_ and seconds later, you’re talking!”

I open my mouth to apologize to him but Niall squeezes my hand again, reminding me that I’m not supposed to talk so I snap my mouth closed and reach out to grab the black crayon. I turn my placemat over and write on the back of it, “I forgot - sorry.”

“That’s better.” Paul gives me a stern look. “I’ll get you a notepad and a pen and if you have anything to say, you’ll have to write it down. Understand?”

I nod once and put my sunglasses back on so I won’t have to see the sympathetic looks from the other guys at the table. I know I shouldn’t be angry with Paul, he’s just doing his job, but I hate being scolded like a child. As if that isn’t embarrassing enough, now I have to wear a sign around my neck for the rest of the day!

It’s probably for the best that I’m not allowed to speak because at the moment, I haven’t got anything nice to say to anyone.

The waitress arrives with several plates and starts to set them down on the table and when she sets a plate in front of me with greasiest, runniest scrambled eggs I’ve ever seen, my stomach rolls and the bile rises in my throat and I have to cover my mouth with one hand and practically shove Louis out of the booth with the other so that I can run to the bathroom.

This is going to be such a long fucking day!

~ End Chapter Eleven ~


	12. One for the Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it!

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/Beautiful%20People/?action=view&current=825946hzbtk2.jpg)

Harry…

“Hey, who do you think is happier that tour is over, us or Paul?” Louis asks Zayn as the three of us look over the railing of our private sunning area where we can see Paul walking along the beach, holding a beer and wearing a contented smile.

“Definitely Paul,” Zayn answers, “After we fly home tomorrow, he doesn’t have to deal with us for a while and I know he’s happy about that.”

“Oh, I almost forgot…I have a joke for you guys.” I say with a smile on my face.

Louis smirks. “This oughta be good.”

“Yeah, lay it on us.” Zayn turns towards me and I already start to laugh at my joke, which makes them laugh and shake their heads at me.

“Okay,” I start, “What will our group be called after tomorrow?” They both shrug so I tell them, “Separate Directions!” I double over with laughter and ask, “Get it? Because we’re all going to different places? We’ll go in _separate_ directions?” I laugh even more because I don’t care what they say, that shit’s funny!

Louis snorts out a laugh and pats my back. “You know the funniest thing about your jokes? It’s that you’re so proud of them.”

“I know,” Zayn agrees as he pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, “He can’t even get through one of his jokes without laughing at it.”

He pulls his lighter out and Louis frowns and whines, “Aw man, are you going to smoke _here_?” 

Zayn lights up his cig then blows the smoke into the air. “We’re out in the open, the smoke goes into the air. It’s not like this is a closed space.” 

Louis waves away the smoke dramatically. “Well, I hate the smell of it. Harry doesn’t like it either,” He looks at me, “Right, Harry?”

I know he wants me to agree with him and a part of me wants to be a brat and tell Zayn I don’t care if he smokes, but the truth is that I really prefer not to be around the smoke so I tell him, “Yeah, I don’t like it either. Sorry, mate.”

Zayn shakes his head and mumbles, “Pussies. Fine, I’ll go smoke somewhere else.” He walks away and a minute later we see him on the beach below us, smiling as he flips us off.

Louis and I laugh and give him a little wave then I pick up my Starbucks from the ledge of the wall and take a big sip, enjoying the cold, sweet liquid on my tongue. I turn around and lean against the railing, closing my eyes as I breathe in the smell of the beach and listen to the soothing sound of the waves rolling in.

“Florida’s pretty nice.” Louis says and when I open my eyes, I see that he’s trying to get comfortable on one of the lounge chairs, adjusting the back so that it’s lying flat before he lays down on it, propping himself up on his elbows and stretching his perfectly tanned legs out in front of him.

“Yeah, the weather’s beautiful.” I sit in the chair next to him and take another sip of my drink then pull my phone out to check my messages and Louis laughs at me.

“You and that damn phone.” He says, shaking his head.

“I’m waiting to hear from my sister.” I explain a bit defensively then set my phone aside.

“How is Gemma?”

“She’s good; she’s got a week off from uni coming up so we’re trying to make plans to hang out together.”

“Yeah? That’s good.” He closes his eyes and settles into his chair, lying down flat on his back and letting out a long, relaxed breath. He tells me sleepily, “When you talk to her, tell her I said hello.”

“Okay.” I answer and try not to laugh because there is _no way_ I’m telling Gemma that Louis says hi because her response would undoubtedly be, “Tell him to go fuck himself.”

I phoned her about a week ago and ended up having a complete breakdown, much to my embarrassment, and Gemma threatened to fly to the states to beat the living shit out of Louis. The scary thing is she probably wasn’t kidding, but I talked her out of it. I explained to her again that I can’t hold Louis responsible for the way he feels, or doesn’t feel, as it were. He’s not under any obligation to fall in love with me or to want to be in a relationship with me, so as much as I might be hurting, I have no right to be angry with him.

Looking over at Louis, I think he might be asleep so I allow myself to stare at him, taking in his beautiful profile and the stubble on his chin and above his lip that looks so incredibly sexy. I want to rub my face against his, feel that stubble as I kiss him, but I know it’s not going to happen, not now.

He must feel my eyes on him because he suddenly looks at me and I look away quickly, picking up my phone again just to have something to do. He asks me, “So, what are you going to do when you get home? I know you’re going to look for a new place but…any other plans?”

“Well, my first plan is to eat a ton of my mum’s cooking.”

“Good one, I hadn’t even thought of that. Tell her to send me some Toad in the Hole.”

I laugh a little because that’s the first meal I plan on having her make for me. “No way, I’m going to eat the entire platter of Toad in the Hole myself. I’ll eat it until I literally can’t shove anymore into my head.”

He wrinkles his nose at the thought. “What else besides that?”

“She makes incredible waffles, too.”

“No, I meant what else are you going to _do_ , not what else you’re going to _eat_.”

“Oh,” I laugh, “Well, let’s see, I’m going to sleep and catch up with old friends. I’m going to get another tattoo, or maybe two or three. I’m going to go out to the movies and to pubs and clubs because I don’t have to worry about the drinking age. And…who knows, maybe I’ll try to find someone who wants to date me and not just fuck me.”

As soon as the words are out of my mouth I wish I could take them back because his smile fades and he looks away guiltily. I whisper, “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He closes his eyes again. “I suppose I deserve it.”

I stand up and start to gather my things. “I’m going to my room, I need a shower. Don’t stay out here too long; you’re already dark enough.”

“I’m hoping to get so dark that my family won’t recognize me when I get home.” He smiles up at me and I smile back.

“See you later?”

“Yeah, see ya.” He replies and I let my eyes linger on him for a moment before walking away.

~*~

Louis…

After Harry leaves I lay in the sun for a little while longer, thinking about the conversation I know I need to have with him before we head home tomorrow and won’t see each other again for at least a month. There’s no point in putting it off any longer; as much as we seem to have slipped back into a friendly relationship with each other, there’s just too much that feels unresolved and the least I can do is try to explain myself.

I head inside so that I can shower and as I dry myself off, I think about shaving but realize I’m just stalling, trying to put off the inevitable. (Plus, I’m thinking I might try to grow a beard while on break from the group.) 

After pulling on a pair of shorts and a white t-shirt, I slowly walk down the hall to Harry’s room, my heart pounding with anxiety. I knock on his door and a few moments later he answers, talking on his phone and wearing his white bathrobe. He looks a little surprised to see me but waves me in and I follow him as he continues his phone conversation. I really wish he were dressed because that fucking robe looks incredible on him; his skin is tan from all the sunny weather we’ve been enjoying and if I happen to experience a flash of arousal because of the way his hips sway when he walks, who can blame me?

“Okay, well, I’ll talk to you again soon… Yep, I’ll let you know exactly when our plane lands… Okay. Love you, too.” Harry says to the person on the phone and I sit down on the edge of the bed to wait for him to finish. When he finally hangs up, he tells me, “Sorry about that.”

“S’okay. Was that your sister?”

“Nah, my mum,” He turns his phone off and sets it down on the dresser then gives me a cautious smile and asks, “So…everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just thought we should talk.” I pat the bed next to me so he sits down about a foot away from me. The nervousness in my stomach seems to double and I swallow hard before finally telling him, “I wanted to say some things to you because…I just feel like I…maybe I should’ve been better about how I handled things, and I don’t want you to think…I just don’t want you to feel like…” I sigh and scrub my face with my palms, “Fuck, this is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

“It’s okay, Lou,” He whispers, looking down at his hands, “You don’t have to say anything else. I get it, you don’t want to be with me.”

It breaks my heart to hear him say that and I feel my eyes stinging with tears because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him even more. I scoot a little closer and say, “Harry, you’re my _best friend_. I care about you so much and I have so much love for you, I really do. But…we can’t be together in that way.”

He opens his mouth to say something but I stop him. I take his hand in mine and say, “And it doesn’t have to do with you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. It’s just…maybe if we lived in a different world, if we weren’t in the biggest pop group around, if we were just two boys from England with regular lives. If things were just _different_ …” I trail off and realize with embarrassment that tears are now running down my cheeks because there’s a huge part of me that longs for that world.

Harry moves closer and slowly wipes my tears away with his thumbs and the look on his face is so caring, so understanding, it just makes more tears fall because he’s _so lovely_ and kind, it makes this that much harder. It would almost be easier if he were angry with me. But he’s _Harry_ and he’s so incredible, so open and giving and I don’t deserve any of it. I’ve hurt him, I know that now thanks in large part to Liam who practically drew me a picture and screamed “look at it!”

“I’ll just have to find someone like you.” Harry says, squeezing my hand.

“You deserve someone _so much_ better than me.” I answer quietly, “You deserve someone who’s just as wonderful and brave as you are; don’t settle for less than that. Someday you’ll find someone, some lucky person who’ll give you the love you deserve. And you’ll…you’ll move on and forget about this.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t.”

“You will. You’ll look back and think ‘why on earth did I waste my time on that idiot?’”

“I would never think that,” He says in a voice filled with emotion, “I would never regret the time I’ve spent with you or the things we’ve done together.”

He moves even closer and pulls my hand up to place a gentle kiss to the back of it, and I curse myself inwardly because I can’t seem to stop crying and my insides are shaking uncontrollably, and I just wish I could be stronger.

“We’ll still see each other all the time,” I tell him through my ridiculous sobs, “We’ll always be friends, I don’t want to lose that.”

“I don’t either.” He whispers.

I brush the back of my fingers against his cheek. “I never wanted to hurt you. I swear I didn’t.”

“I know.” He pulls me to him and we collapse against each other, holding on to this last bit of what we had before we cross back into ‘just friends and nothing more’.

“I’m going to miss this.” I mumble into his shoulder, allowing the tears to stream down my face and onto his bathrobe.

“Me too.” He replies against my neck and squeezes me a bit tighter.

I don’t want to let go but when I feel his hold on me loosen, I pull back a little and wipe my cheeks as I look into his tear-filled eyes.

“Look at us,” I say with a shake of my head, “A couple of girls is what we are.”

“My sister would be so mad if she heard you say that,” He replies, smiling sadly, “She’s always telling me that girls are so much stronger than boys.”

“Yeah, she’s probably right.” I look down to where his robe opens slightly at the bottom, appreciating how beautiful and tan his skin looks against the white material, and find myself saying, “You know what I’m wondering?”

“What?”

“I’m wondering if there will ever come a time when I can be around you and not want to shag you silly.”

He huffs out a laugh and we rest our foreheads together. He tells me quietly, “Well, I am naked under this robe.”

“I figured.” I pull my forehead away from his so that I can look at him, thinking of how many times I’ve disrobed him and how easy it would be to untie his robe right now.

His expression lets me know he’s thinking the same thing that I am and even though I know I shouldn’t want him so badly right now, I feel that magnetic pull taking over, drawing me to him like it always does. I inch forward just slightly but stop myself and whisper, “We really shouldn’t.”

“We shouldn’t.” He agrees but neither one of us pulls away.

“It’s a terrible idea.” I say as I slowly run my fingers down the collar of his robe, seeing him shiver in response.

“Absolutely _awful_ idea.” He breathes out, placing his hand on my cheek then leaning forward to press his lips against mine.

I immediately thread my fingers in the hair at the base of his neck and tilt my head to kiss him more deeply, feeling that familiar heat growing between us. He gently pushes me back on the bed and climbs on top of me, straddling my hips and kissing my neck as I pull his robe down to expose his shoulders, sliding my mouth over his warm skin.

He rubs his cheek against mine, whispering that he loves the way my stubble feels, then kisses me slowly as he grinds his hips against me, making my dick throb underneath him. I tell myself that this is for him but I know that’s not true; I need this just as much as he does. I need one last time with him before this ends, before our whole relationship changes.

We make love slowly, our usual dirty talk replaced by soft moans and gentle touches. I take my time, trying to memorize everything; the feel of his skin under my fingertips, the way his face looks when he lowers himself onto me, his hands roaming over my body as he takes all of me inside over and over. The way he turns me over and spreads me open before pushing into me slowly, making me gasp into the pillow.

When we’re finished, neither one of us speaks. I hold him against my side and focus on the way his breath feels against my chest and his curls tickle my nose.

“I should go.” I finally whisper so he pulls away from me, sitting up and scooting back to rest against the headboard while I get dressed. Once I’ve pulled my shoes on I stand up and turn to him, unsure of what to say. I swallow down the lump in my throat and say, “See you tomorrow before we leave?”

He nods and keeps his eyes on me, his face stoic, and I climb onto the bed far enough so that I can kiss him, letting my lips linger because I know it will be the last time. I pull away and quickly leave his room, my heart overwhelmed with sadness because from this point on, nothing will be the same between us.

~ End Chapter Twelve ~


	13. You Can’t Always Get What You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the wonderful comments, they really keep me going! :)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=Liam-Payne-Fabulous-Magazine-resz.jpg)

Liam…

I knew from the moment I found out that Harry and Louis were sleeping together that it was probably going to bring trouble and someone was going to end up getting hurt. I also knew that it would probably be Harry. As much as I like being right, this is one occasion where I wish I could say I was wrong. I could see from the way he looked at Louis that he was falling hard, and even though I tried to warn Louis, he decided to ignore my warning and push forward like he does with everything in life—balls to the wall, take no prisoners, shoot first, ask questions later… (You get the point.)

That’s not to say that Louis isn’t capable of being sensitive or falling in love; it’s just that he’s still got a lot of growing up to do. He’s the oldest in the group, yet by far the most immature; I’m not really sure what it will take for him to finally see that you can’t just take what you want without thinking about the consequences or taking the people around you into consideration. 

Harry, on the other hand, is probably the most sensitive person in the group. (Aside from myself, of course.) Even though he’s still really young, he’s a romantic through and through, which is a beautiful thing but can also be very dangerous. When he falls for someone he falls hard and he’s willing to throw caution to the wind and put his whole heart into it. Unfortunately, he’s paying the price for that now.

Since tour ended, I’ve mostly been keeping in contact with Harry via text, but over the past couple of days, he hasn’t returned any of my texts. Normally this wouldn’t worry me; he has a tendency to get busy sometimes so I never take offense if he doesn’t text me back. But when I saw pictures posted all over the internet of Louis and Eleanor at the airport in France, holding hands and looking quite cozy together, I wondered if maybe that was why Harry had gone quiet. 

Then Zayn phoned me to tell me he was worried because he’d gone to visit Harry in his flat earlier and he seemed sick or something. He said he wouldn’t get out of bed and kept playing the same songs over and over again but he told Zayn that nothing was wrong. Of course I know differently, so I told Zayn he could leave and I would drive to Harry’s to see if there’s anything I can do to help.

As I walk up the stairs towards Harry’s, I wonder if I should’ve picked up a pizza or some other kind of takeout but I wanted to get here as quickly as possible. Plus, I figure we can just order something and have it delivered…if Harry doesn’t kick me out, that is. 

I push the button for the intercom then wait a moment before Harry’s sleepy voice comes through the speaker, “Yeah?”

“Hi Harry, it’s Liam. Can I come in?”

Another moment passes and I hear him say, “I buzzed you in.” I didn’t hear a buzz but when I try the knob, the door opens so I walk inside and look around as I close the door behind me. The living room is empty and dark so I head for the hallway as I call out, “Harry?”

There’s no answer but I hear music playing in one of the bedrooms so I follow the sound and find Harry in bed, buried under the covers, his head poking out from the top of his dark green duvet. I move a few used tissues out of the way then sit down on the edge of the bed and turn on the lamp that’s sitting on his nightstand.

“Hey there,” I say, pulling the comforter down a little so that I can see his face.

“Hey.” He looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes. “Did Zayn call you?”

“He did.”

“What’d he say?”

“He said he thought you might be sick and that you seemed really down in the dumps.”

“He told you to come here and fix me?”

“No, he just…he’s worried about you. We’re both worried about you.”

“You didn’t have to come here, Li. I know you’ve got better things to do.”

“Nope, I’ve got absolutely nothing going on today.” I reach out to stroke his curls and he closes his eyes and sighs.

We remain silent for a few moments while I run my fingers through his hair, thinking about how much he reminds me of a cat right now, enjoying being stroked. The next song starts to play on the stereo and I listen to Otis Redding singing…

_“I've been loving you too long to stop now_  
 _You are tired and you want to be free_  
 _My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me_  
 _Oh I've been loving you a little too long_  
 _I don’t wanna stop now…”_

I remember Zayn telling me that Harry was listening to “the saddest playlist ever” and I have to wonder if every song is about heartbreak. Otis continues on…

_“With you my life_  
 _Has been so wonderful_  
 _I can’t stop now_  
 _You are tired and your love is growing cold_  
 _My love is growing stronger as our affair grows old”_

I know it can’t possibly be healthy for Harry to listen to this song and songs just like it on repeat so I say, “Maybe we can put something else on, yeah?”

“This is a good song.” He tells me, keeping his eyes closed.

“It is a good song, but I think maybe we should listen to something a bit more upbeat.”

He shrugs a little. “You can change it if you want to.”

“Do you have a remote somewhere?” I look around on the nightstand then next to the bed but stop when he tells me he lost the remote.

I walk to the stereo and look through the songs on this playlist but just as I suspected, they’re all related to heartache and heartbreak so I find another playlist which contains songs from Queen, The Rolling Stones, LMFAO, Green Day and AC/DC, amongst others so I hit the play button and listen as Green Day’s “When I Come Around” begins to play.

“That’s much better.” I say with a smile and walk back to the bed but Harry doesn’t respond, he just looks at me with those big, vulnerable eyes of his, and I wonder if there’s going to be anything I can do to help him. 

He finally says, “Did you see the pictures from the airport?”

“I did.” I answer with a short nod.

“They make a beautiful couple, don’t they?” He takes a pause before continuing, “She’s got everything going for her…long legs, pretty face, a vagina. How can I compete with that?”

I have no idea how I’m supposed to respond to that, or what would make him feel better, so I stay quiet and reach out to stroke his hair again.

He grabs a tissue and wipes his eyes. “I was doing fine, Li. I thought I really was fine. But then those fucking pictures just…I don’t know, they just threw me into a complete tailspin.”

I clasp my hands in front of me and ask, “Can I give you a cuddle?”

“If you want to,” He answers sadly so I toe my shoes off and climb onto the bed on the other side of him, sliding under the covers as I spoon my body behind his, wrapping my arms around him.

I whisper into his curls, “You can talk to me, you know? I’m here for you.”

“What’s there to say?” Harry asks, his voice filled with so much emotion it makes me want to cry with him.

“Anything you want. You can tell me how you’re feeling. I might not be able to fix it but I can listen. Sometimes it helps to just get it out, yeah?”

Harry is silent for a moment then he turns around and takes a shaky breath before saying, “It hurts, you know?” He places a hand on his chest, “My heart, like, literally _hurts_. It hurts, Li. And I can’t…I can’t make it stop hurting.”

I nod and look at him sympathetically. “They don’t call it heartbreak for nothing.” I look up at the ceiling and add, “Hey, that’d be a great song title. We should write that down.” I look back at Harry, hoping for a smile at my dumb joke but no such luck.

He wipes his nose with his tissue again and I open my arms and tell him “C’mere” so he immediately falls against my chest, openly crying while I stroke his back and run my fingers through his hair.

I remain quiet, letting him get it all out, and when he calms down a little, he wipes his nose again and mumbles into my shirt, “I didn’t want to fall in love with him, you know?” He sniffles loudly and I reach for another tissue and hand it to him as he continues to explain, “I thought we could just have sex and I’d be okay with that but…I started having feelings for him. I couldn’t stop it. I mean, now I kind of get why they call it falling because it literally feels like that. Like you’re not even in control of yourself; not in control of your own heart. Stupid, huh?”

I shake my head. “It’s not stupid. The heart wants what it wants. Which, by the way, would make another good song title. And that thing about ‘that’s why they call it falling’, we’ve got to write that one down as well.”

Harry lets out a little laugh and looks up at me to say, “You’re such an idiot.”

I smile. “It’s good to hear you laugh, Hazza.”

He rests his head on my chest again and mumbles, “Thanks for coming here. Sorry I’m not very good company.”

“It’s okay. That’s what friends are for.”

“Don’t you dare say that’d make a great song title because that one’s already been done.” He responds and we both laugh.

I continue to rub comforting circles over his back as “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” from The Rolling Stones plays, and when Harry realizes what song it is, he grumbles, “Is this song appropriate or what?”

I laugh a little and shake my head then we both listen to the song again, singing along with the lyrics, “But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.”

Harry looks up at me and whispers, “Thanks for putting up with me being so pathetic and letting me cry all over your shirt.”

“Are you kidding? I can sell this shirt on e-bay now and make a mint! A shirt with Harry Styles’ tears on it? That’s going to be a hot ticket item.”

He laughs into my chest then looks up at me, smiling. “Well, you have to split the profit with me. They are _my_ tears, after all.”

I sigh dramatically. “Fair enough.”

He places a hand on my neck and looks up at me with fondness. “You’re such a good guy.”

I shrug a little and tell him, “I care about you. I want you to be happy.”

“Thanks, Li.” He tilts his head up to kiss my cheek then pulls back to look in my eyes, keeping his hand on the side of my neck, rubbing the skin gently with his thumb.

I swallow hard and whisper, “You’re welcome.”

He tilts his head up again but this time instead of kissing my cheek, his lips are pressing against my own and my brain scrambles to figure out what’s happening. I’ve never kissed another guy before, not in this way, but I’ve definitely thought about it and I have to say, it’s not unpleasant. In fact, it’s quite good. His lips are soft and warm, his tongue touches mine but doesn’t push too far, and my heart feels like it might beat out of my chest because it all feels _too good_ and an unexpected feeling of arousal rushes through me. 

But that little voice of reason creeps into my head, reminding me that this is not supposed to be happening, so I pull my mouth away from his and gasp out, “Wait, we can’t do this. I can’t do this to Danielle. I’m so sorry, Harry.”

He closes his eyes and sags against my chest briefly before pushing away from me, untangling his legs from the sheets as he scoots off of the bed.

I push the covers away from me so that I can follow him. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m embarrassed.” He walks into the bathroom, closing the door before I can follow him in.

I stand outside of the closed door and say, “Don’t be embarrassed; it was a nice kiss.” He doesn’t reply so I move closer and try to listen inside. “Harry?” 

His muffled reply comes through the door, “You don’t have to stay, Liam. I’ll be alright.”

“May I please come in?”

I hear a click and the doorknob turns so I push gently until the door opens and see Harry leaning against the wall, looking down at the floor with his arms crossed over his chest. He keeps his eyes down and says, “I don’t suppose we can pretend this never happened?”

I step closer to him and say, “It was a really nice kiss, Harry.”

“Shut up, _please_.” He covers his face with his hands but I pull them away and wrap my arms around him. He buries his face in my neck and slides his arms around my waist, laughing a little as he says, “I want. To die.”

“Don’t be silly.” I pull away just enough to look at him. “Hey, I kissed Zayn that one time, remember?”

“Yeah, but that was an accident. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t stick his tongue in your mouth.”

“Well, no. But still.” I rub his arms and tell him, “What I’m saying is it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t _ruin_ anything.”

“How are you even real, Liam Payne?” He asks and I pull him in for another hug.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you; I’m a Cyborg from the future. I come from the planet Paynopolis.” I whisper into his ear in the deepest voice I can muster and his whole body shakes with laughter.

“I _knew_ there was something different about you!” He rests his head on my shoulder and we stay like that for a minute until I hear his stomach rumbling.

I laugh and pull away from him to ask, “Have you had anything to eat today?”

“I had a biscuit earlier.”

“A biscuit? That’s not real food. If I order us something will you come eat with me?”

“Sure.” He suddenly smacks his forehead with his palm and says, “Oh shit, you know what? My sister’s supposed to bring me some food later, because my cupboards are pretty bare.”

“She is? What time?”

“At five thirty.”

I look at my watch. “It’s five after five right now.”

“Is it really? Holy shit, I didn’t realize it was so late.” He pulls his shirt off. “I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t go any further than kissing, she might’ve walked in on us.”

“Oh, I never would’ve lasted twenty five minutes. I’m good for maybe eight minutes, tops.” I say and he laughs out loud.

“You really shouldn’t go around bragging about that.”

“I’m not bragging, just being honest.” I smile at him and start to back out of the bathroom when he pulls his sweats and underwear off. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll go ahead and go. Let you spend some time with your sister.”

“No, don’t go.” He says as he turns the water on in the shower then climbs in and talks to me through the curtain. “I’d like it if you stayed and hung out with me and my sister. Do you have somewhere to be?”

“No, my evening’s free. Are you sure you want me to stay?”

“Yeah, I do. We were going to watch a movie and stuff our faces. I’d love for you to join us,” He slides the curtain back enough to look at me and says, “please?”

“Okay.” I smile.

“Good.” He smiles back and closes the curtain.

I exit the bathroom and close the door behind me then walk into the kitchen to look for something to drink while I wait for him to finish his shower, thinking about how nice that kiss was and wondering what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped it.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=Elounor.jpg)

Louis…

Being in France alone with my girlfriend instead of with my four band mates is _quite_ different, and I have to say I’m having conflicting feelings about that. Although I am having a wonderful time, I can’t help but to miss the different personalities and the fun that comes along with Zayn, Liam, Niall, and of course, Harry. The five of us always have a great time together and I’ve become so accustomed to having them around all the time that it’s a bit strange not to have my support system with me.

I definitely don’t miss the chaos that comes along with the group, though, and I don’t miss the ear-piercing screams or having to be watched by security 24/7, or having to constantly watch my mouth so that I won’t say something that Management will have a tantrum about later.

France is a whole different kind of chaos; everyone seems to be in a rush and they can be a bit impatient, especially with two tourists who don’t speak much of the language, but we’re quickly getting used to the hustle and bustle of the shopping centers, restaurants and tourist attractions we’ve been to.

My relationship with Eleanor is still pretty new; this trip to Paris is the longest time we’ve spent alone together so it’s been a great way for us to get to know one another a little better and see if this is something that’s going to work. But I also kind of feel like I have to be on guard at all times because I can’t just say whatever I feel like saying; I have to watch my swearing and try not to be crude like I can be when I’m with “the boys”. They don’t care if I burp or make a fart joke or talk about something completely disgusting, because they all do the same! 

Who knows, maybe Eleanor wouldn’t mind those things either, but we haven’t quite reached that level of comfort yet. I’ve also noticed that we can’t enjoy a comfortable silence with each other yet either; one of us always seems to feel the need to keep talking to avoid the awkwardness that can sometimes come with just being quiet. I suppose that will subside with time but for now, I feel like I can’t fully relax.

I’ve also been worried about being recognized, but so far there’ve only been a few curious looks, the ones that say ‘I think I know you but I’m not sure so I’ll just stare for a while’. There was also one teenage girl who was on holiday with her family and completely freaked out when she saw me, so I took a few pictures with her and her family then signed a few autographs for them before parting ways. Other than that, we haven’t really been bothered by anyone, aside from a few paparazzi at the airport.

“Hey, babe? Do you think we could go to one more shop, or are you too tired?” Eleanor asks and I readjust the multiple bags on my arm so that I can pull my phone out to see what time it is.

“Well, we have dinner reservations in an hour and a half so we just have to get back to the room in time to get ready.”

“I don’t take too long to get ready.” She replies and I give her a skeptical look so she says, “I don’t! Do I?”

“It took you a half an hour to do that side-braid thingy this morning and another hour to pick out the right outfit for shopping so…”

“I did _not_ take an hour to pick out an outfit, don’t exaggerate.” She smacks my arm playfully.

“It _felt_ like an hour. How many pairs of pants did you change into? Ten? Twenty?”

She laughs, “It was only four!”

“Whatever, all I can say is it’s a good thing I had games to play on my phone or I might’ve started crying.” I tell her and she giggles.

“Hey, I don’t take as long as my friends do.”

“You’re kidding me. How long do they take?”

“Forever,” She says and loops her arm through mine to make me start walking towards the shop she wants to go to next, “Are you telling me that none of your band mates take a long time to get ready?”

“Not really.”

“Not even Harry?” She asks and my heart feels like it starts to beat a little faster for some reason, probably just because I don’t know if I’ve ever heard his name come out of her mouth and it throws me off guard for a moment.

I swallow hard and ask, “Why would Harry take a long time to get ready?”

“I’ve seen his hair, it must take _ages_ for him to style it that way.”

“Actually, it only takes him a couple of minutes.”

“Seriously?”

“Mm hmm. People always seem to think it takes him a long time to get ready but he’s very low maintenance.”

“Well, good for him.” She says with annoyance and I chuckle.

We finally reach the store she was looking for, which appears to have some pretty exotic and unusual items, and I follow her inside. I adjust the bags on my arm again, trying to shift the weight, and when Ella sees me struggling she asks, “Are you sure I can’t carry some of the bags?”

“Maybe these two,” I tell her, indicating which two she can take then sigh with relief when she takes them because I didn’t even realize how much my arms were straining. “Thank you. Now, be careful not to buy too much from this store because we still have to walk back to the hotel.”

“I’ll be careful. I just need to get some souvenirs if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, I should probably get something for my mum and my sisters, too.” I glance around the store, “Although, I’m wondering if I’ll be able to find anything that my family will like in here. This store is very…interesting.”

“I’ll help you. I know what girls like.”

“That’d be great, thank you.”

“Why don’t you look at the scarves here,” She points to a section of colorful scarves on the wall, “and I see some jewelry in the back, I’ll go see what they have. Do you want to meet me back there?”

“Sounds good,” I answer and lean in to give her a kiss.

When she pulls away, she rubs a hand over the stubble on my jaw and says, “Hey, I was wondering if maybe you could shave tonight before dinner, if we get back early enough?”

My mind instantly flashes to Harry and how he’d rubbed his face against mine and told me how much he liked the feel of it. I rub my chin and say, “I kind of wanted to let it grow out while I’m on holiday. You don’t like it?”

“It’s just, it’s kind of scratchy,” She wrinkles her nose and whispers, “Especially when you were…down below last night, if you know what I mean?”

“I scratched your lady parts?” I ask in horror.

“Not exactly but…it was a bit like having sandpaper between my thighs.”

“I’m sorry. Of course I’ll shave it.” I tell her and she smiles and gives me a quick kiss before walking towards the back of the store.

I turn around and head for the scarves on the wall, thinking about the night before and trying to remember if she ever indicated that she was uncomfortable from my beard but can’t remember anything but her moaning like she was having a great time. She even had an orgasm, thank you very much! Or maybe she didn’t. Now that I think about it, she could’ve been faking it. Is it possible she could’ve been acting? She’s one hell of an actress if that’s the case because she really seemed to be enjoying herself. Now I’m doubting everything.

With Harry, I never had to wonder if he’d had an orgasm because it was kind of obvious; I mean, not to be gross or anything but when boys have an orgasm, there’s evidence for crying out loud! But with girls, it’s so hard to tell. I’ll just have to try harder tonight and really pay attention so that I can make sure I’m pleasing her.

I also need to stop thinking of Harry so much. I’m in France with a beautiful girl and I can’t stop comparing her to Harry; it’s ridiculous and it’s got to stop! If only it were that easy.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=Hazplaidshirt.jpg)

Harry…

I scoop out another helping of pasta and plop it onto my plate before covering it in sauce then microwaving it for a minute, just to make it a little hotter.

“Where did you put the corkscrew?” Gemma asks as she digs through one of my drawers.

“It’s right here.” I pick it up from where it’s resting next to some bags on the counter.

“Thank you.” She takes it and starts to open a bottle of Merlot.

“Second bottle of wine, huh?” I ask with a smile and pull my food out of the microwave. “You lush.”

“Hey, that first bottle was really small, and _you_ helped me finish it so I guess we’re both lushes.” She pours some wine into her glass then tops off mine as well and calls to Liam in the living room, “Liam, are you sure you don’t want some wine?”

“No, thank you!” Liam answers.

I shake my head. “I told you he doesn’t drink, so stop trying to force it down his throat.”

“That’s what she said!” Gemma replies and we both laugh.

“You’re such a knob.” I bump my hip into hers.

“No, _you’re_ a knob.”

“I know you are but what am I?” I pick up my plate of pasta and glass of wine and start to walk back into the living room and Gemma follows behind me, turning the light off with her elbow because her hands are full.

Liam smiles at us when we walk in and I sit down next to him on the floor and set my plate and wine glass on the coffee table. I take a huge bite of food while Gemma tells Liam, “There’s still a ton of food left and I brought some crisps and sweets, so help yourself.”

“Oh, thanks but I’m stuffed.” Liam answers, rubbing his belly.

“Okay.” Gemma says as she picks up her wine then takes a sip.

I gulp down about half of my glass of wine and Liam tells me quietly, “Whoa, slow down. We don’t want another Vegas incident.”

“Ohhhhh! Burn!” Gemma says with a laugh and Liam holds his hands up defensively.

“I wasn’t trying to burn you, I swear! I’m just worried, that’s all.”

“It’s okay.” I reply before taking another bite of my food.

“So, tell me exactly what happened in Vegas.” Gemma asks Liam, “You were there, right?”

“He was just the cleanup crew.” I explain to her and Liam nods.

“Yeah, I didn’t see any of the karaoke or the skinny dipping but I helped him when he was getting sick.”

“Skinny dipping?” Gemma looks at me, “You didn’t tell me you went skinny dipping. Where did that happen?”

“In the hotel pool. I don’t remember taking my shorts off but apparently I did.” I shrug.

“And Paul didn’t murder you?”

“No, but he was so mad!”

Liam sits forward and says with amusement, “He put Harry on vocal rest and made him wear a sign all day.”

Gemma laughs. “Serves you right. I told you that you were going to get into trouble someday for pulling your willy out all the time.”

I tell her, “If you had a willy, you’d understand. Sometimes it needs to be set free.”

Liam shakes his head and says, “I don’t know if that’s true, Hazza. I have a willy and I don’t feel the need to show it all the time.”

“Well, you should try it some time. It’s very liberating.” I tell him and take another sip of wine.

Liam looks at Gemma and says, “Let me ask you something…was your household one of those naked households? Or is it just Harry that likes being naked all the time?”

“We weren’t a naked household, I wouldn’t say that. But our mum always taught us to be comfortable with ourselves and would always say that the body is a beautiful thing and all that.”

I nod in agreement. “She always said that people were way too uptight about it. There are more important things to worry about.”

“So we did kind of run around naked when we were kids, when the weather was nice, but I grew out of it when puberty came ‘round.” She gives me a playful kick and says, “But apparently Harry never grew out of showing off his cash and prizes.”

“Apparently not,” Liam says with a laugh.

“I’m not naked _that_ much!” I tell them both.

“I’ve seen you naked more times than I can count.” Liam answers, “In fact, I saw you today!”

I blush a little. “Oh yeah, I did strip off in front of you before my shower. I didn’t even think about it, really. Sorry, Li.”

“It’s okay. I’m kind of used to it.”

Gemma grabs the remote control and scrolls through the movie library. She asks, “What are we in the mood for? Something scary?”

“No, I want something funny.” I answer, pushing my plate away because I finally feel full.

“Okay, we’ve got the whole John Hughes set here. Breakfast Club? Sixteen Candles? Pretty in Pink?”

“Nah, keep going.” I look at Liam and ask, “What are you in the mood for?”

“Doesn’t matter to me.” He replies, looking at the screen then suddenly yells, “Oh, Juno!” He looks at us sheepishly. “Sorry about that. It’s just, I love that movie.”

“Juno’s good with me.” Gemma says and I nod so she hits play.

“This movie is so good.” Liam smiles excitedly and we both move up to sit on the couch with Gemma. “I want one of those hamburger phones.”

“Hamburger phones?” I ask as I pull the pillow out from behind me.

“Yeah,” Liam explains, “She’s got a phone that’s in the shape of a hamburger. It’s so cool.”

“Maybe we’ll find one for you when we go shopping tomorrow.” Gemma tells him.

“You’re going shopping?” Liam asks and I nod.

“Yeah, Gemma has informed me that buying her a new outfit, or _several_ new outfits, will somehow make me feel better.”

“I’m telling you, it’s called retail therapy. Look it up.” Gemma says matter-of-factly.

Liam laughs at us. “You guys are so funny together.”

“Hey, do you want to go with us tomorrow?” I ask him and he looks at Gemma then back at me again.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yeah, the more the merrier.” Gemma says with a smile.

“Okay, sounds fun.”

“Good, then it’s sorted.” I say as I place my pillow on Liam’s lap then stretch out on the couch so that my head is on the pillow and my feet are on Gemma’s lap.

“Hey, will you rub my feet?” I ask and Gemma scrunches her whole face in disgust.

“I most certainly will not!”

I give her my most pathetic look and say as sadly as possible, “Have I mentioned that I spent the whole day crying because of my broken heart?”

“For fuck’s sake.” She sighs and places a hand on one of my sock-covered feet then starts to rub it awkwardly. 

After a minute I tell her, “You’re not very good at that. Can’t you use both hands? And why are you touching it like that; it’s not raw chicken—”

She tickles the arch of my foot so I laugh and squirm a bit then rest my foot on her lap again and she uses both hands to try and do a better job as she grumbles, “You and your stupid, stinky Hobbit feet.”

Liam snorts out a laugh and I look up at him and smile, thinking how grateful I am to have people in my life who care about me. 

I know I need to stop dwelling on Louis and try to move on. I wish him all the love and happiness in the world, I truly do. And now, I need to find my own happiness.

~ End Chapter Thirteen ~


	14. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay! I didn't mean to take so long with this chapter; thank you for your patience. I'll let you get right to it. I hope you like it! (Oh, and I can't remember where I got the pictures in this chapter; if they were yours, please let me know and I'll be happy to credit! ;))

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=tumblr_mdkqblYGhr1qcc65po4_250.png)

Louis…

It’s funny the twists and turns life can take; one minute I’m performing on stage for thousands of fans, a different crowd every night, and the next minute I’m walking away from it all to take a “temporary” break from the group. A break that I very much needed in order to keep what remained of my sanity.

Growing up I always wanted to be rich and famous. What kid doesn’t? My early dream was to become an actor; I’ve always been a bit of a ham, and I’d like to think I had a gift for transforming myself into different characters and playing to the crowd. When I realized how difficult it was to actually become a successful actor, I turned to a more realistic dream of becoming a drama teacher and planned on going to university to try and make that happen.

Then I was convinced to try out for X-Factor and decided to give it a shot, mostly just for the experience, so that I could say I’d done it, but to be honest I never expected anything to become of it. After all, how many thousands of people try out every year and get rejected instantly? Never in a million years could I have predicted how that audition would change my life!

I don’t think any of us expected the group to become as famous as it did; I mean, we hoped for the best, of course, but never could’ve imagined how huge our success would be. I remember waking up on several occasions wondering what I’d done to deserve all of it and thinking this couldn’t _possibly_ be my life. But as time passed, I found myself wishing more and more that I could have just one _normal_ day, a day where I could go shopping without being noticed, or to a restaurant without being interrupted every five seconds to sign an autograph. Or even down the street for a Starbucks without being mobbed!

Not to sound ungrateful, but it all became too much for me. I should’ve been happy, I was living a life that millions of people my age would’ve killed to have, and yet I found myself becoming more and more irritated with everything… I couldn’t seem to get through a single interview without saying something snarky to the interviewer. And I don’t just mean my usual sass; I’m talking full-on _rude_ , until finally I was told by Management to remain silent during interviews if I couldn’t say anything nice.

Then my mother and sisters started to receive abuse on Twitter, causing me to lose my temper on more than one occasion. I’ve always been protective of my family and to know that my mother was brought to tears by hurtful messages she’d received, and to know that _I_ was the reason she’d received them, sent me into a rage and unfortunately I started to lash out at everyone.

Eventually I had to make a decision, so after our 2013 World Tour ended I sat down with Simon Cowell, as well as my band mates, and told them I needed a break. As expected, my band mates were supportive; they’d watched my descent and I think they could tell I was on the verge of a breakdown if I didn’t step away for a bit. (Plus, I think they needed a break as well.) Simon, on the other hand, wasn’t thrilled at the idea of us being out of the spotlight even temporarily, so it took a bit of convincing.

He’d already made truckloads of money off of us, we’d _all_ made a great deal of money, so I don’t think that was the issue. He was afraid that if we walked away while we were still on top, people would lose interest in us. After all, the average shelf life of a boyband is three or four years, and we’d been together for about three years already and we were more popular than ever. Simon knew that taking any kind of break from our current world domination could be detrimental to our careers and to the future of One Direction.

After a long discussion, Simon agreed to let me take a month off for a “mental health break” to try and sort myself out, but as I said, sometimes life can take some twists and turns. One month turned into two months and then three and now, I’ve been away for close to six months. You see, during the first month off I wanted to do some traveling but it was important to me that I travel someplace where there was little (or preferably no) chance of being recognized. I’d heard that the Dominican Republic had some beautiful resorts so I looked into it and immediately packed my bags.

Eleanor wasn’t pleased that I didn’t want to take her with me but to be perfectly honest, I needed a break from her as well. She’s a lovely girl but extremely high maintenance and I just couldn’t deal with having to wait for her to get ready every day or inevitably wanting to spend the whole time looking for places to shop. I needed this holiday completely to myself, so that I could breathe and relax and sleep and not be “Louis from One Direction” for at least a week or two.

During my stay in the Dominican Republic, I decided to do some sightseeing one day so I hired a car, bought a map, packed a bag filled with snacks then set out on a journey, not really sure where I was heading. After a few hours I realized I was lost and became a bit terrified when I found myself in a poverty-stricken area. This is going to sound terrible, but I instantly wanted to turn around and get the hell out of there! The only problem was that I needed petrol, and I also needed help with the map because I clearly couldn’t read the damn thing properly.

The language barrier was definitely an issue but I was able to find someone who spoke English, albeit terribly broken English and they were able to help guide me to a petrol station. Once I got over my fears of being lost in a foreign place, I decided maybe I was brought here for a reason. 

The people were friendly and obviously curious about me, so instead of spending the day sightseeing and looking for beautiful beaches where I could sunbathe, I spent the day exploring this little village and even playing football with some of the children. Before I left, I gave them all of the snacks and drinks I’d packed, as well as my baseball cap and sunglasses, just small tokens of my appreciation for the kindness they’d shown me, wishing I had more to give them. 

There are certain events in your life that can change you forever and I believe this particular day was one of those events. I lay in my comfortable bed that night, in my ridiculously expensive suite, surrounded by all the luxuries a man could ask for and thought about the people I’d met in that village, the smiles on the children’s faces while we kicked a ball in a dirt field, and wondered if those children had a bed to sleep in that night or enough food to keep their bellies full the next day.

Maybe it’s self-indulgent to think I was sent to that village by a higher power, but I knew one thing for certain, I needed to find a way to help people. I needed to find a way to use the money I’d earned to actually make a difference in the world. I was so inspired that the next day I started to do some research on starting my own charitable foundation, which turned out to be _a lot_ more work than I expected.

Here I am almost half a year later and I’m still trying to work it all out, but at least I’ve made some headway, and I just know that in a few years my foundation will be successful and I won’t just be a former boyband member who will eventually disappear, or turn to drugs and alcohol like so many have in the past; I’ll have actually done something productive, something that will help a lot of really deserving people, not only in the Dominican Republic but all over the world.

During my research I discovered a foundation in Mexico that seemed similar to what I wanted to do and figured the best way to find out their secrets to success was to head to Mexico and actually volunteer. I’ve been there for the past two months and it’s been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. It’s also been really informative, I left feeling like I learned so much, and the creators of the foundation let me know I was welcome to come back whenever I wanted.

For the time being I’m heading back to England to spend some time with my family and attend a “reunion” dinner with Simon and the rest of the guys, and to say that I’m nervous would be an understatement. I just hope it won’t be as awkward as I think it’s going to be, and I hope no one will be angry with me for spending so much time away.

~*~

When I arrive at Heathrow Airport I’m disappointed, but not surprised, to see that it’s raining. Having just come from a country where the weather is absolutely beautiful, it’s a bit hard to come back to the cold rainy weather here. I gather my luggage and quickly find a taxi outside of the airport then watch out the window as the streets of London pass me by, feeling like it’s been a million years since I’ve been here.

The traffic is light so we arrive at Zayn’s flat in no time and I take a few deep breaths to prepare myself before stepping out of the taxi. Zayn phoned me a couple of days ago to find out when I’d be arriving and when I told him I was planning on staying at a hotel here in London, he insisted I come stay with him at his new flat instead. I have to admit that I was kind of relieved because this will give me a chance to find out what everyone’s been up to, and of course I’m curious to see Zayn’s new place.

The taxi driver helps me with my luggage and I make sure to tip him well then stand at Zayn’s door for a moment before finally knocking. He answers the door with a huge smile and immediately pulls me into an almost back-crushing hug. I laugh as we sway together in his doorway and he mumbles into my shoulder, “I fuckin’ missed you, you prick.”

“I missed you, too,” I answer quietly and he finally lets me go, holding me at arm's length as he looks me up and down.

He looks pretty much the same; skinny as ever and he’s got about a week’s worth of stubble that makes him look a bit older than he really is. His hair is short and lays flat across his forehead, a departure from the quiff I’m so used to seeing him with.

He finally releases my arms and says, “You look good!”

“Thanks, Zayn. So do you.”

“Damn, you’re tan as hell.”

“Yeah, I’ve been in Mexico. It’s nice and sunny there.” I answer and reach for my bags and Zayn moves past me to help carry everything inside.

“You’re lucky, it’s been raining for the past week here.” He says as he guides me inside then sets my bags down and swings his arm around in a grand gesture and says, “So? You like?”

I look around the living room and smile. “Wow, it’s really nice.”

“Nice? It’s nice? You know how much I paid for this place?” He asks with a smile.

“I can only imagine.” I look around the lavish living room one more time then tell him, “Can I see the rest?”

“Of course!” He replies and picks up my bags again and I follow him down the hall towards the bedrooms.

He gives me a brief tour of each of the bedrooms, three in total, and we place my bags in the guest bedroom, then he shows me where the two bathrooms are located before we head back to the kitchen and I see that there are snacks and teacups waiting for us at the table.

“Thank God, I was starving.” I tell him then point to the snacks and say, “These are for us, right?”

“Yep, I made them myself.” He answers proudly.

“Well, in that case maybe I’ll just have the tea.” I say and laugh when he shoves me playfully.

“Sit down, asshole. I’ll get the water for the tea.” He walks to the stove to grab the tea kettle and I sit at the table, my mouth watering as I look at the finger sandwiches and biscuits neatly arranged on a fancy tray.

Zayn sits down next to me and sets the tea kettle on a hot pad then holds up a bowl of teabags and asks, “What kind do you want?”

I shrug. “Doesn’t matter. Whatever you’re having is fine.”

He pulls two teabags out of the bowl and places one in each of our teacups while I pick up a small triangle sandwich and take a big bite. It’s quite possibly the best seafood salad I’ve ever tasted and I moan and close my eyes.

“Good?” Zayn asks with a laugh and pours hot water into our cups.

“Amazing. Seriously, you made all this?”

“Well, to be honest, Perrie helped me. She was here earlier.”

“I figured you had a little help.” I reach for another sandwich. “Plus, I can see a lady’s touch in all of this. You should’ve told her to stay; I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“Well, she had somewhere to be. And she wanted to give us a chance to catch up. You’ll see her soon enough, though.”

I nod and continue to chew my sandwich then dip my teabag a few times before pulling it out of the cup and placing it on the side of the plate.

“You really like my flat?” Zayn asks as he reaches for a shortbread biscuit.

“I love it. It’s very…you.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes, it’s a good thing. It’s simple and classy, but there’s also a little of your artistic flair. I really love it, honestly.”

“Thank you,” He smiles proudly and we both sip our tea. 

It’s a little bitter so I reach for the sugar and stir in a couple of teaspoons as I say, “So, tell me what everyone’s been up to. I’ve been so out of the loop, you’ll have to fill me in on the latest news.”

“Oh gosh, where do I start?” He asks, scratching the back of his neck and I notice that he’s got some tattoos that I haven’t seen yet.

I point to his arms. “I see you’ve got some new ink?”

He pulls the sleeves of his shirt up a little higher to give me a better view and I see that both of his arms are almost completely covered. “Yeah, I got a few new ones.” He pulls his sleeves down again and shrugs. “Let’s see, I’ve also been doing a little painting.”

“Oh yeah? Painting houses?” I ask jokingly and he swats my arm.

“No, not painting houses,” He says in an admonishing tone, “I’ve been painting, like, actual canvases and things like that. I just felt like experimenting with my artistic side, so I paint whenever I’m feeling inspired. I don’t know if they’re any good but I like doing it so…”

“That’s great, Zayn. I’d love to see your stuff.”

“Yeah, maybe. Someday.” He answers shyly and takes a sip of his tea.

“Is Niall back in Ireland?”

“Yeah, he’s been back and forth over the past few months. He’s flying in again tomorrow so he can be here for the dinner on Saturday.”

“I can’t wait to see him. Is he up to anything new?”

Zayn shakes his head. “Not really. Oh, he was dating a girl for about a minute but it didn’t work out.”

“That’s too bad.” I bite into a biscuit and ask, “How’s Liam?”

“He’s great. He’s back together with Danielle.”

“Is he? Oh good, I’m glad to hear that. I always thought they were meant to be together.”

“Me too. She’s a nice girl. She makes Liam happy so I think we were all glad when they announced they were back together.”

I nod and munch on another sandwich triangle, trying to find the courage to ask about the person I really want to know about. I finally swallow down the bite and try to sound casual as I ask, “How’s Harry? Do you see him much these days?”

“He’s good. Yeah, we hang out all the time; he doesn’t live too far from here so he comes to our place for dinner or we go to his.”

“That’s cool. He seems well then?”

“Yeah, he’s really good.” He looks at me with a sly smile and says, “He’s got a boyfriend now.”

“Does he really?” I try to keep my voice steady even though my stomach feels like it has just jumped up into my throat and my heart rate increases so drastically it actually hurts. I place the rest of my sandwich down on the plate, unable to finish it.

“Yep. Thomas is his name. Harry brings him ‘round to dinner sometimes. He’s a good bloke, real nice. Seems to treat Harry well.” I stay quiet because I don’t know what to say and my mouth is so dry I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to form a sentence anyway. Zayn laughs a little and says, “You look like me when I first found out. I was completely gobsmacked because I honestly had no idea Harry was gay. Unless you…did you know?”

I swallow hard and answer quietly, “I guess I knew. I mean, I know he’s attracted to girls and guys.”

“Niall and Liam seemed to know as well. I guess I’m pretty dense because I thought he was playing a joke on me the first time he brought Thomas ‘round and said he was his boyfriend, but Niall and Liam were like…I don’t know, it’s like they weren’t surprised by it.”

I clear my throat and say, “So, are they _out_ as a couple? In the media and everything?”

“Not yet but I think that’s the next step. I mean, they practically go everywhere together and the journos love to print stories and start rumors, even though they haven’t come out officially as a couple.”

I nod slowly and pick at the bread on my plate. “Thomas is his name?”

“Yep, Thomas.”

“And what does this Thomas do for a living?”

“He’s a model.” Zayn tells me and I think to myself ‘of course he is’.

“A model, huh? How’d they meet?” I ask, picking up my teacup and hoping he doesn’t notice how badly my hands are shaking as I bring the cup to my mouth.

“Well, Thomas moved to London for a job he’d gotten. They signed him on for the new ASOS line, although they seem to have him in his knickers an awful lot, considering he’s supposed to be a clothing model.” Zayn says with amusement, “But I guess they’ve been going for a more sexual vibe lately.”

I suddenly remember seeing a very large poster for ASOS on the cab ride home, so I ask Zayn, “Does he have light brown hair and blue eyes? And, like, annoyingly chiseled abs?”

“That’s him! You’ve seen the ads?”

“I think I saw one of them, yeah.” I hate this Thomas even more now; too good looking if you ask me. There’s no way that guy’s not a narcissistic prick! But Harry wouldn’t date a conceited asshole like that, would he?

Zayn tells me, “Anyway, he moved here from America probably like…I guess five months ago or something—”

“He’s American?”

“Yep. So Harry told me that he met Thomas at a club one night and they got to talking and he was really attracted to him so he offered to show him around the city the next day, since he was still trying to get acclimated to London, and I guess they really hit it off. They’re practically living together now. Thomas is always there when I go over.”

“I see.” I place my hands on my lap and take a deep breath, feeling sick to my stomach. “So, he’s good to Harry?”

“Yeah, really good. He’s a really good guy. They seem happy together.”

“That’s good. Harry deserves that.” I tell him, forcing a smile.

“You’ll probably get to meet Thomas on Saturday. I imagine Harry will bring him along to the dinner. I’m bringing Perrie and Liam will bring Danielle, now that they’re back together, so…”

“So, Niall and I are the only two going solo, that should be fun.” I reply sarcastically.

“What about Eleanor? You can’t bring her?”

“We’re not together anymore.”

“I wondered about that. I mean, since you’ve been away so long. I didn’t know if you two were still a thing.”

“No, we broke up. She was really angry with me for disappearing the way I did, and I can’t blame the girl. So right before I left for Mexico, I came home for a bit, just to pack some things and see my family, and then I went to see her and we both decided it was best if we broke up.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Louis.” 

“It’s okay. I kind of feel like we weren’t even really together at that point, you know? It was over long before that, I just hadn’t gotten around to actually officially breaking up.”

He points to the tray of food. “You don’t want more? I thought you said you were starving.”

“I ate enough for now. It was really good, thank you.” I hold my stomach and say, “I’ll probably eat more later. I’d actually like to take a nap now, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I know you’ve got to be tired from traveling.” We both stand up and he steps closer to give me another hug. “I’m glad you’re here, Lou. I really did miss you.”

I nod into his shoulder and say, “Yeah, me too. Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“Of course.” We let go of each other and he smiles at me. “We’ll talk more later. After your nap.”

“Yeah, definitely. You want me to help you clean up?” I ask, pointing to the table but he waves me away.

“That’s okay. I got it. Go get some rest.”

I give him a small smile before turning to walk out of the kitchen, wondering if I might actually throw up. I close the door to the guest bedroom and sit down on the edge of the bed, trying to calm myself. I don’t know why I’m so upset that Harry has a boyfriend. What did I expect, for him to stay single this whole time? I was the one who rejected him, I told him that we couldn’t be together in “that way” so he moved on with his life, clearly. So why does this hurt so much?

Why do I feel so sick now when I think of him being with another man? A fucking model, no less! I want him to be happy, don’t I? Isn’t that what I told him? So now he’s happy and I feel like I’ve never been more miserable. 

Maybe I won’t go to the dinner on Saturday after all; my stomach clenches just thinking about it. I have two days to decide, two days that I can spend catching up with old friends and visiting my family and trying _not_ to think about Harry and his ridiculously good looking boyfriend, who’s apparently “a really good guy”, which makes it so much worse!

I flop back onto the bed, feeling like I might actually be coming down with something.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=3268887-256-409721spha.jpg)

Harry…

_You’re so dense, Lou. I’m in love with you. I didn’t mean for it to happen but it did, and now…I can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone but m—”_

_“Stop. Just stop. You’re not in love with me, Harry.”_

_“Yes, I—”_

_“No, you’re not. We’ve had a lot of really great sex together but that’s all.”_

_“Don’t say that.”_

_“But it’s true. You and I are wonderful at being friends, and we’re great in bed together but that’s not love. You’re only eighteen, you don’t—”_

_“You’re not that much older than me so don’t talk to me like I’m a child! I know what I feel.”_

_“Did you really think we could be together as a couple? Can you imagine the field day the media would have with that?”_

_“I don’t give a shit what the media thinks; I just want to be with you. I don’t want to hide anym—”_

_“Stop! Please stop this, Harry. What we have is good; just…stop this nonsense before you ruin everything.”_

I emerge from my terrible dream gasping for breath, sweat pouring from my brow and my whole body shaking so I hold a hand to my chest, wondering if it’s possible to have a heart attack at my age because that’s what this feels like.

Thomas is still sound asleep next to me, which I’m grateful for but also kind of annoyed by. How can he sleep through me jumping up from a dead sleep and gasping for breath? What if I was being attacked by an intruder? Would he sleep through that as well?

Pressing my fingers into the middle of my chest, I take a few deep breaths to try and calm my heart rate but it still feels like it’s beating erratically so I climb out of bed and walk into the bathroom. I press a wet washcloth to my face, telling myself, “It’s just an anxiety attack. You’ve had them before; you’re not going to die.” I repeat this to myself until I feel my body relaxing a little then put the washcloth down on the edge of the sink and lean forward to look in the mirror, wondering if there will ever come a time when I’ll stop having dreams about Louis.

I walk to the toilet to relieve my bladder and once I’m done, I walk back into the bedroom and stand next to the bed to look at Thomas; his face looks so beautiful in the moonlight and I’m torn between wanting to wake him so he can comfort me, and letting him sleep so I can have some time alone to try and calm myself down. I decide on the latter.

After pouring myself a glass of milk and grabbing a box of lemon crème biscuits from the pantry, I sit down in the living room and turn on the television then flip through the channels to try and find something funny to watch. The Graham Norton Show is on so I decide that’ll have to do and set the remote control down before digging into my box of biscuits.

“Hey, watcha doin’?” Thomas asks from the doorway and I practically jump out of my skin.

Holding a hand over my chest, I tell him, “Holy shit, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” He replies and sits down next to me, looking concerned. “Can’t sleep?”

I shake my head a little. “Bad dream.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” He brushes my hair back with his fingers and kisses my temple gently before asking, “Wanna talk about it?”

I know I can’t tell him everything about my dream, obviously, so I decide to go with a simple explanation of, “I dreamt that I was on the tour bus again.”

He reaches into the box of biscuits and pulls one out. “Was it really that bad on the tour bus?”

I watch him bite into the biscuit then look back to the television screen again. “It just got kind of claustrophobic sometimes. Especially towards the end.” It’s not exactly a lie, but it’s not the whole truth either.

“Well, you’re safe now.” He whispers and I lean into him, turning to rest my back against his bare chest, my head on his shoulder, and instantly feel myself relax as I settle into his embrace.

He slowly rubs my arm and whispers, “You think your nightmare might have something to do with the reunion in two days?”

“Yeah, probably.”

He waits a moment before asking, “You nervous to see Louis again?”

“A little,” I answer then tilt my head up to look up at him, trying to keep my expression neutral. “Does that make you mad?”

“What, that you’re nervous to see Louis?”

“Yeah.”

“No, I think it’s only natural. He was your first love. I think it would be strange for you _not_ to be nervous.” He strokes my hair and gives me such a loving expression I have no choice but to kiss him.

When the kiss ends, he says, “I’d be nervous if I knew I was going to see my first love, Ritchie McDinkle.”

“His name was Ritchie _McDinkle_?” I ask with a laugh.

“Mm hmm. I haven’t told you that before?”

I shake my head. “I would’ve remembered that name, trust me.”

He smiles. “Yeah, I guess it was kind of a dorky name. But he was so cute; I had a massive crush on him for years.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Once. And then he acted all weird about it and kept saying ‘I’m not gay, dude. I’m not gay.’ I wanted to tell him ‘Well, you just had a dick in your ass so you might be a little gay.’” He explains and I have to laugh.

“McDinkle. That’s an awesome name. Are you sure you’re not making that up?”

“I swear.” He answers, holding his right hand up and I laugh again. We continue to watch the telly until Thomas says, “Well, I don’t think you should worry too much about the reunion. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“I just don’t know what to say to him. To Louis, I mean. I haven’t seen him for such a long time.”

“How long has it been?”

I think about it for a moment before replying, “Close to six months, I think?”

I decide to leave out the fact that I tried calling Louis about a month ago but he didn’t pick up and I couldn’t bring myself to leave him a message. I’d heard an old song on the radio that reminded me of him, a song that we used to like to sing together sometimes when we were messing about, and I had such an overwhelming need to hear his voice that I was gutted when I couldn’t reach him. Just hearing his voice say “leave me a message” was enough to make me break down in tears.

I knew that he was okay because his mother had just spoken to my mum and informed her that Louis was in Mexico building houses with some charity, but I still felt so disconnected from him in that moment; I was tempted to fly to Mexico just so that I could talk to him and see his face again.

I sigh and quietly say, “It’s funny how you go from seeing someone every day, talking to them about everything, then suddenly…no contact.”

Thomas doesn’t say anything, just continues to stroke my hair and my arm and I fight to keep the tears out of my eyes, grateful that he can’t see my face right now.

I’m so lucky to have found Thomas; he’s such a great guy and even though we’ve only been together for a short time, he’s already told me he loves me more than once. We get on really well and I can see myself having a comfortable life with him. Despite all that, I can’t seem to shake this perpetual niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s just not ever going to be enough.

~ End Chapter Fourteen ~


	15. Dinner Party - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of the kudos and comments! And again, if any of the pictures included are yours, please let me know and I'll be sure to credit you. ;) 
> 
> Enjoy!

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=Loucloseup.jpg)

Louis…

In approximately thirty eight minutes I’m supposed to be entering Simon Cowell’s mansion for a dinner party and if I had to rate how nervous I am on a scale of one to ten, I’d say I’m at about a fourteen. I know it’s just dinner and I’m friends with everyone attending, but I still feel incredibly overwhelmed. 

I suppose it’s not too late to claim I’m sick and blow the whole thing off; I have been planting seeds with Zayn since I arrived that I’m not feeling well. Not enough to make him worry or rush me to a doctor or anything, but just enough to give myself the option of backing out of the dinner if my “illness” suddenly becomes worse.

The thought of seeing everyone again is both frightening and exciting; I already got to visit with Liam yesterday and that was really nice, but Niall only just arrived from Ireland today, due to a flight delay, so I am looking forward to seeing him at the party. The biggest predicament for me is Harry; as much as I do miss him, (and I truly truly do), and would love to see him again, the thought of watching him with his new boyfriend fills me with absolute dread.

I adjust my tie in the bathroom mirror then stand back to check my reflection and decide a tie is way too overdressed so I loosen it and pull it off as I walk back into the guest bedroom to change into my light blue jumper instead of a white button-up.

After pulling the blue jumper over my head, I run my fingers through my hair and cringe at myself in the mirror, trying to decide if the blue jumper is too casual. As I’m laying out two more shirts on the bed, considering a different outfit altogether, Zayn pokes his head in the door and asks, “How’s it comin’ along? You just about ready?”

“I don’t think so.” I rub my forehead and plop down on the edge of the bed. “I’m still not feeling very well; maybe I should skip the dinner. I don’t want anyone else to catch what I’ve—”

“Oh no you don’t.” Zayn says as he grabs my arm and pulls me up. “You are _not_ staying home; everyone is looking forward to seeing you so get your arse up.”

“But I seriously don’t feel well.” I tell him, trying to look as pathetic as possible, which isn’t that difficult since I am feeling like I might hyperventilate any minute now.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you but you need to show up tonight, okay?” He moves closer to place his hands on my shoulders. “Everyone at that dinner is your friend. You do know that, don’t you?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m just…I think I’m having an anxiety attack.” I hold my hands out in front of me to show him how badly they’re shaking and he gives me a concerned look.

“Jesus, Louis. Take a deep breath; everything’s gonna be okay.” He takes my hands and squeezes them then lets go and asks, “Why are you so nervous?”

“I’m just really overwhelmed.” I take a deep breath then blow it out slowly and point to the two shirts I’ve laid out on the bed. “And I haven’t got anything decent to wear.”

He looks at the shirts and shakes his head. “What you have on is fine.”

“Is it?” I look down at my jumper. “Because I’m thinking it’s too casual. Maybe I should change into the black shirt instead?” 

“No, the blue looks good on you.” Perrie says from the doorway and Zayn and I both look at her. “It makes your eyes really stand out.”

“Exactly,” Zayn says with a smile.

Perrie looks incredible, wearing a little black dress and red heels, her blonde hair pulled back with a few curly tendrils hanging by her ears. (I’ve always admired how women can pull an outfit together so perfectly.) I manage a smile and tell her, “Wow, you look smashing.”

“Yeah? You like?” She smiles and looks down at her own outfit. “Thanks, Louis.”

“You’re welcome.” I look at Zayn’s outfit and say, “You look great, too.”

“Aww, thanks.” He shrugs.

He’s wearing black trousers and a black button-up with a red tie and as he stands next to Perrie, I realize they’re perfectly matched. I also realize once again that I’m showing up without a date tonight and sit down on the edge of the bed, resting my head in my hands and taking another deep breath.

“Uh oh, not this again.” Zayn says, “Hey, you know what we should do?”

I look up at him. “Stay home?”

He laughs a little. “No, we’re definitely going to the party but we should do a shot before we leave.”

I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t think that’s going to help.”

“C’mon, just one shot. To calm your nerves.” He answers then looks at Perrie. “You want a shot?”

“No, someone needs to be the designated driver. But I’ll go get two ready for you.” She kisses him briefly before walking out of the room and Zayn sits on the bed next to me.

He places a hand on my back and asks, “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you?”

“I can’t, Zayn.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.” I reply and look at him apologetically. I do want to tell him what’s going on but I know if I start talking about it now, it’ll just make my anxiety worse and I’ll probably start crying, and the last thing I need right now is to show up at Simon’s with red eyes and a stuffy nose.

Zayn sighs and rubs my back, which actually feels really nice. “Well, I just hope you know that you can tell me anything. I consider you one of my best friends so if you’re going through something, I want to help you.”

I nod and try to swallow down the lump that has now formed in my throat. “Thank you, I really do appreciate that. Can I just…maybe I can tell you later?”

“Okay. Fair enough.” He pats my knee and stands up. “Let’s finish getting you ready. We need to hit the road soon.”

Perrie walks in with two shot glasses and smiles as she hands one to each of us.

“Thanks. It’s not tequila, is it?” I ask. “Because I had a bad tequila experience in Mexico.”

“Actually, it’s whiskey.” She answers. “It’s the expensive kind so it should go down smooth.”

Zayn holds his shot glass up so I gently tap it with my own before we down the shots. It is a rather smooth whiskey but it still burns a little and I cringe and cough then tap my chest while Zayn laughs at me.

Perrie takes the shot glasses from us and starts to exit the bedroom then turns around to say, “Zayn, you should let him borrow that new leather jacket you just bought.”

“You think it’ll look okay with a jumper?” He asks and she nods.

“Yeah, it’ll look really good on him.” She winks then exits the room and Zayn follows her out so that he can grab the leather jacket.

I check my hair one more time, wondering if I should’ve gone with a quiff but it just seemed a bit too formal and stiff. I run my fingers through the top of my hair, pushing it to the side then give it two squirts of hairspray to keep everything in place.

Zayn comes back into the room holding a black leather jacket and I thank him then pull it on over my jumper and look in the mirror.

“This is a bloody nice jacket, Zayn. Does it look okay with this?” 

He nods. “Yeah, Perrie was right; it looks real nice.”

I let out a long breath, feeling at least a little better than I did a few minutes ago. “I think I’m ready to go now.”

Zayn smirks at me. “Okay, but just one thing…did you maybe want to put some shoes on?”

I look down at my bare feet and laugh. “Oh yeah,” I look back up at him and ask, “Got any boots I can borrow?”

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=DapperHaz.jpg)

Harry…

My hands won’t seem to stop shaking and it feels like there are a million insects running loose in my stomach; a part of me wants to call this whole evening off to stay home with my boyfriend, but I know that’s not really an option. I pull my phone out and consider calling Liam to find out what he’s wearing, just so I can gauge whether or not I’m overdressed, but I know that I probably call him too much as it is so I put my phone back in my pocket and poke my head out of the bathroom to call out for Thomas.

“Hey, babe?”

He appears in the doorway a moment later. “What’s up?”

“Should I wear the tie or not?” I turn around so that he can see my whole outfit, which consists of black trousers, a white button-up, my charcoal grey blazer and a black tie. 

He looks me up and down with a small smile on his face. “I like the tie.”

“Is it too much, though?”

“I don’t think so.” He says, his slight southern accent showing itself. “It’s Simon Cowell’s dinner party; I don’t think it’s possible to be too overdressed for that.”

“True.” I turn back around to fix my hair and Thomas presses himself against my back. He must sense my nerves because he wraps his arms around my waist and nestles his chin against my shoulder, locking eyes with mine in the mirror.

“You look beautiful, Harry.” He whispers reassuringly so I stop fidgeting with my hair and relax into his arms, placing my hands over his.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. You’re gorgeous.” He kisses my cheek and I lean my head against his.

I look at our reflection in the mirror and have to smile because I think we look pretty damn good together; I know it’s terrible to say but I kind of can’t wait to show him off tonight. (To one person in particular.)

“So, do I look okay in what I’m wearing?” He asks and I snort.

“You look amazing in everything you wear.” I turn around in his arms and run my hands over the soft, dark grey jumper he’s wearing, a gift he received from one of the designers that he modeled for.

“Is that right?” He smiles at me seductively. “So I can wear sweatpants and a beanie tonight?”

“How about if you go naked? I think I’d quite enjoy that.” I tilt my head up to kiss him and he moans against my lips and pulls me closer, his hands roaming to the small of my back.

After a minute, I reluctantly pull away and whisper, “We better get going.”

“Too bad we don’t have more time.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

I moan softly and shake my head, trying to fight off the arousal I feel every time we’re pressed together like this. I tell him breathlessly, “Maybe we could sneak off when we’re at Simon’s house and have sex in one of his bedrooms. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“Naughty boy. I like the way you think.” He bends down for another kiss then pulls back and straightens my tie and blazer before saying, “We really should get going. C’mon.”

He takes my hand and we walk out of the bathroom but I stop when we’re in the bedroom.

“Hang on. I want to see what we look like together.” I pull him so that we’re standing in front of the full-length mirror and he puts his arm around my shoulders while I slide mine around his slim waist. Standing side-by-side I can see that we compliment each other quite well and I can’t seem to stop smiling.

He kisses my temple and takes my hand again then does a terrible impersonation of my British accent as he says, “Dahhhhling, we must be going now or we’ll be unforgivably late.”

In an equally terrible impression of his American accent, southern twang and all, I tell him, “I reckon we should be hittin’ the road now.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever used the word reckon around you.” He says with a laugh and pulls me with him towards the front door.

“And I don’t believe I’ve ever called you dahhhhling.” I reply, smiling, and lock the door once we’re outside. 

As we pull out onto the roadway I feel my nerves kicking in again but Thomas takes my hand and I hold on tight, praying that this night goes smoothly.

~*~

Louis…

Simon’s mansion is just as imposing and magnificent as I remember and it does nothing to help my nerves so when one of the servers offers me a glass of champagne, I immediately accept it and drink half of the glass down.

Zayn was so worried we were going to be late but we were some of the first people to arrive, with Liam and Danielle arriving shortly after we did, both looking incredibly posh. Niall phoned Liam to let him know he’s only a few minutes away so we’re all waiting close to the foyer until he arrives, joking that we should probably eat as many hors d’oeuvres as we can now because once Niall shows up, he’ll probably eat everything in sight.

A tray of stuffed mushrooms passes us by so Zayn, Perrie and I take one and Liam reaches for one as well but his phone rings so he dismisses the server with a friendly wave and answers the call, taking a few steps away from us. 

The mushroom is delicious and I tell Zayn, “I should’ve taken two of those; they’re amazing.”

“I know.” He says with his mouth full and Perrie nods in agreement.

She swallows the bite in her mouth and looks at the remaining bite. “I wonder what’s in it.”

“Probably, like, ground up money or something.” I answer and we all laugh.

Liam walks back to us as he puts his phone back in his pocket. He smiles and says, “That was Harry; he and Thomas are on their way. Should be here shortly.”

I feel my stomach flip and instantly regret the bite of mushroom I just took but manage to quickly chew it and swallow it down with the rest of my champagne.

Danielle says, “I’m so glad Thomas is coming tonight; he’s such a nice guy.”

She looks to Liam and he nods then looks at me, his expression cautious so I force a smile because I don’t want him to worry and I certainly don’t want to be responsible for any awkwardness.

“Have you met Thomas yet?” Danielle asks me.

I shake my head. “Not yet, no. But everyone keeps saying what a great guy he is so…my expectations are pretty high at this point.”

She smiles and says, “He really is a great guy.” 

“Not to mention amazingly gorgeous.” Perrie adds then she and Danielle clink their champagne glasses together and give each other a look that says they’d both like to devour this Thomas character if given the chance.

“Um, excuse me?” Zayn says with faux annoyance, “I’m standing right here.”

Perrie slides her arms around his waist and smiles sweetly. “Sorry, darlin’. Of course he’s not as gorgeous as you are!” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He sighs then leans in for a kiss and I make a gagging noise, which makes them laugh.

There’s a knock at the front door and I feel my heart jump a little, thinking it might be Harry, but when the butler opens the door, we see Niall standing in the entryway and give him a spirited greeting, each taking turns hugging him. He sees me standing at the back of the group and his eyes light up.

“Fuckin’ hell. Get over here, you!” He practically knocks me over with the force of his hug and everyone laughs as he lifts me off my feet then places me down again, squeezing me so tight I’m afraid he might’ve actually bruised my ribs.

“Jesus, Niall.” Liam says, “Don’t break him!”

“Sorry, mate.” Niall pulls away from me a little.

“No worries. I’m happy to see you, too.” I tell him and pat his chest. “You’re looking well, Nialler.”

“Yeah? Thanks, man. And you look great. I like the tan.” He smiles widely and pinches my cheeks.

“Thank you.” I rub my face. “You should come to Mexico with me; even _you_ can get a tan down there. If you stay long enough.”

“You’re going back to Mexico?” Liam asks and everyone seems to have stopped what they’re doing so that they can look at me, waiting for an answer.

“Um, I don’t know yet. I mean, I have a lot to do still but I don’t have a definite plan yet.” I answer, hoping it’s good enough because it’s all I can give them.

Niall pats my shoulder and says, “Well, it’s good havin’ you here now.” He looks around and asks, “Is there any food out yet? I’m starvin’!”

We all break into laughter and I wrap my arm around him so that I can show him to the table filled with hors d’oeuvres. He starts to fill a small plate with an assortment of treats and asks me, “Where’s Simon? I should probably say hello.”

“He hasn’t made his appearance yet.” I reply as I grab another glass of champagne. “We keep joking that he’s lost somewhere in this huge house.”

“Probably,” Niall laughs, “Maybe we should send out a search party.”

“Or at the very least some drug sniffing dogs.”

“Or Simon sniffing dogs!” Niall says and we both laugh.

He dips a shrimp into a bowl of sauce and shoves it in his mouth then picks up his plate and tells me with his mouth full, “Okay, let’s go back.”

When we walk back into the foyer, Liam is peeking through the curtains and announces, “A car just pulled up; I’m pretty sure it’s Harry’s.” He continues to look then turns back to us. “It is Harry. I can’t believe he let Thomas drive his Porsche.”

I gulp down half of my champagne and take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down but all I want to do is run from the room.

Niall bumps my hip with his and asks, “You okay? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Yeah, I think the champagne is doing my head in.” I answer with as much of a smile as I can muster.

We hear a knock at the front door and I feel like my heart might beat right out of my chest; it’s just too much for me right now so I whisper to Niall, “I need to find a loo. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” He furrows his brow at me and opens his mouth to say something but I walk away before he can speak.

I vaguely remember where the closest bathroom is located so I head in that direction and thankfully find it open so I slip inside and lock the door then turn around to lean against it and close my eyes. I breathe in deeply through my nose then blow it out slowly, willing myself to calm down and after a minute I feel like it’s starting to help a little.

After relieving my bladder I wash my hands then check my reflection in the mirror, telling myself it’s not too late to sneak out a window and hire a cab to take me out of here. I roll my eyes at my own melodramatic thoughts then whisper, “Get yourself together, Tomlinson. It’s just a fucking dinner party.”

I check my teeth to make sure there are no food particles hanging out then force a smile, just to see if I can make it look genuine but decide there’s not much I can do about it either way so I take one more deep breath and finally exit the bathroom.

As I walk towards the foyer, I can hear everyone talking and laughing so I stay back and listen, poking my head out just enough so that I can see them but they can’t see me. My eyes are drawn to the beautiful couple holding hands in the middle of the crowd, one with dark curly hair and a smile that will take your breath away, the other with light brown hair and striking good looks. Of course this beautiful couple is Harry and Thomas and I know I should probably join them but my feet feel frozen to the floor, unable to carry me any closer to my group of friends.

Harry is smiling widely as Thomas tells a story then he laughs out loud and immediately covers his mouth with embarrassment, something I’ve always loved. My heart jumps into my throat again because he looks absolutely stunning; it’s only been six months since I’ve seen him last but it feels like years and there’s something different, maybe more mature, about him. One thing’s for sure…being in a relationship definitely agrees with him.

Somehow I manage to force myself to take a few steps inside the room and when Harry sees me, he gives me a warm smile and releases his boyfriend’s hand so that he can walk towards me. I smile back at him and open my arms to accept his embrace; I’d been worried about how we would greet each other, if a hug would be allowed, but it turns out I’d worried for nothing.

He wraps his arms tightly around my shoulders and I cling to his waist, burying my head in his shoulder and breathing in his familiar scent.

“Hey, Boo Bear.” He whispers into my ear and the old nickname both makes me laugh and brings tears to my eyes.

“Hey, love.” I reply back, barely able to find my voice.

We hold on a bit longer until I open my eyes and notice the whole group is watching us and I want to tell them all to go away so that I can have Harry to myself for a bit, but realize that would be inappropriate. I loosen my hold on him so he lowers his arms from my shoulders and wipes his eyes as he looks me up and down with a smile.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” He says and I nod.

“Me too.” I wipe an embarrassing tear from my cheek and Harry seems to remember there’s a group of people behind us so he clears his throat and tugs my arm as he says, “C’mere. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Thomas smiles at me as we approach the group and extends his hand once we’re close enough so I take it and give it a shake, hoping my palms aren’t too clammy. I give him my most winning smile and say, “You must be Tommy? It’s good to meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you, Louis. And it’s actually Thomas.” He laughs a little and releases my hand as he adds, “I haven’t gone by Tommy since elementary school.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” I tell him, even though I’m not really sorry. (I don’t know why, but sometimes I just like being a brat!)

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” He slides his arm around Harry’s shoulder in what seems like a possessive move to me.

I raise my eyebrows. “Uh oh. Has Harry been telling stories?”

“He’s told me everything.” Thomas looks at Harry with fondness and pulls him a little closer while Harry smiles and looks down at the ground then back at me again, his cheeks turning slightly rosy.

“Hopefully not _everything_.” I reply jokingly and everyone laughs.

“He’s told me a lot, let’s just say that.” Thomas gives me a knowing look.

Liam, bless his heart, decides to speak up, I’m guessing to alleviate what could turn into a crunchy situation very quickly. He says, “Hey, should we go see if they’ve put out any more food?”

“Good idea!” Niall agrees loudly and we all have to laugh.

I wrap an arm around Niall and ruffle his hair a bit. “Yeah, Niall here hasn’t had anything to eat in about two minutes. So we’d better hurry!”

Liam leads the way and everyone chats as they follow him, but Harry hangs back to tell me quietly, “Hey, we’ll talk later.”

“Okay. Yeah, definitely.” I answer with a nod and place a hand on his arm. “You look great, by the way.”

“Yeah?” He says, dimples in full effect, “Thanks, Lou. And you look amazing.”

“Aww, you’re just saying that.” I wrinkle my nose and scratch the back of my neck nervously.

“No, I mean it, you look great. I always liked you in blue.” He smiles fondly at me and I wonder if he can see my heart beating through my blue jumper.

I hear someone clear their throat and tear my gaze away from Harry to find that Thomas is standing about ten feet away from us, hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable.

“Sorry, babe. I’m coming.” Harry says as he walks towards him and I wait a moment before I move.

I see one of the servers holding a tray of champagne glasses so I approach him and take two from his tray; I hadn’t planned on getting drunk tonight, but I know I’ll need at least a little liquid encouragement to help get me through this dinner party!

~ End Chapter Fifteen ~


	16. Dinner Party - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long with this chapter; I promise the next chapter won't take as long! ;)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=loulousma.jpg)

Simon Cowell finally decides to make his appearance, walking down the stairs hand-in-hand with his girlfriend, Carmen Electra. They’ve been dating for a couple of years now and even though some people like to say that their relationship won’t last, I see the way that she makes him smile and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he keeps her around for a bit.

I know that everyone thinks of him as a cold-hearted, careless prick, but he’s been very generous to us. We got to see a softer side of him from the very beginning, when he was our mentor for the X-Factor and would have heart-to-heart talks with us and let us know how much he believed in us. He even told us we could call him Uncle Simon if we wanted to, which might’ve been a joke at first but we immediately took to the nickname and have called him that ever since.

After saying hello to all of the other guys, greeting them with a warm smile and a hug, Simon finally reaches me and smiles as he says, “Louis, you’re looking well.”

“Thanks, Uncle Simon.” I respond, “You too.”

He hugs me and pats my back then murmurs into my ear, “We’ll talk later.”

I nod and swallow hard, feeling like I’ve just been called into the principal’s office but manage a smile as he pulls away from me.

Once Carmen has had a chance to say hello to everyone, Simon holds his arms out and addresses all of us, “Okay, well…let’s eat, shall we?”

We file into the dining room and I pray that we haven’t been assigned seats because I’d really rather pick my own seat, preferably something off in the corner as far away from Harry and Thomas as possible. Not that I don’t want to sit next to Harry, I just don’t want to have to make nice with Thomas and listen to them call each other “babe” throughout the entire meal.

But as luck would have it, our seats have in fact been assigned and as we approach the table, I can see my name in fancy script on a little white piece of paper, and on the plate right next to me sits another piece of paper with Harry’s name and my heart sinks. Of course, it makes sense that Simon would seat us together; we were inseparable for years. And he knows nothing of our relationship beyond the close friendship that we showed to the public, so how could he possibly know the sticky situation he’s placed us in now?

Harry sees the name cards as well and turns to me with a smirk. He says sarcastically, “Well, this shouldn’t be awkward _at all_.”

I pull my chair out and sit down. “Aww, come on. It won’t be so bad.”

I try to give him a reassuring smile but feel my aplomb falter as I watch Thomas pulling Harry’s chair out for him then smiling at him lovingly as he takes his own seat.

Niall is to my left, which I decide I’m grateful for because I can always chat him up if the lovey-dovey schmoop-fest coming from the couple next to me becomes too much.

Liam and Danielle are seated across from us, along with Zayn and Perrie, and we all settle in, placing our napkins on our laps while Simon stands at the head of the table and thanks us for coming.

He sits down finally, his face turning serious as he says, “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like for us all to join hands while Carmen says grace. Carmen?”

I groan inwardly and want to ask Simon when in the hell he started saying grace before dinner but I suspect it has something to do with Carmen and not some sudden religious inclination for Simon. Niall takes my hand so I smile at him then look to my right and find that Harry looks just as uncomfortable about the whole situation as I do. We give each other a little smile and he grasps my hand, linking our fingers together under the table.

Everyone bows their head and closes their eyes while Carmen starts to say grace but I don’t hear much of what she says because all of my attention is focused on the way Harry’s hand feels against my own, the slight movement of his thumb over mine. I open one eye and peek in his direction, seeing that his eyes are tightly closed, but there is one person looking at me and unfortunately his name is Thomas. I quickly snap my eye closed and sit back a little in my chair so that he hopefully can’t see me, and when Carmen wraps up her prayer, we all say “Amen” and release each other’s hands.

The first course we’re served is salad and it’s quite possibly the most delicious salad I’ve ever eaten, with candied walnuts, craisins and a dressing that literally makes my eyes roll back in my head.

“This salad is fuckin’ amazing.” Niall says with his mouth full then he looks at Carmen, “Oh, sorry. I’ll try to watch my language.”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Carmen winks at him and we all laugh when Niall blushes and ducks his head.

The main course comes along shortly after we’re done with our salads and my mouth waters when I look at my plate of prime rib with mushroom risotto and roasted mixed vegetables.

Two bites into the meal, Niall leans closer and whispers, “Is it too early to ask for seconds?”

I laugh and shake my head. “I’m sure they’ll let you have more if you want it.” I take another bite of my prime rib, which is so tender I can cut it with a fork, and moan with pleasure because the meat seems to melt in my mouth.

I can hear Thomas and Harry having a hushed conversation so I focus in on what they’re saying…

“I’ll just eat the vegetables and whatever this other stuff is. It’s really fine.” Thomas says as he pushes his prime rib to one side of his plate

“Are you sure?” Harry asks him, “Because I can ask Simon if they can make something else if you want?” 

“No, it’s okay.”

“You liked the salad; I can ask if you can have more of that?”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s fine, really.” Thomas scoops up a bit of risotto and sniffs it and I can’t help myself, I just have to know what the problem is.

I lean closer and ask, “Everything okay?”

Harry looks at me and says, “Oh, yeah. It’s just…Thomas is a vegetarian.”

“It’s fine, though.” Thomas says with a tight smile before tapping the risotto off of his fork then spearing a piece of zucchini instead.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” I say, trying to sound sympathetic, “Because this prime rib is phenomenal.”

“It really is.” Niall agrees then looks at Thomas and says, “I’ll eat yours if you’re not going to eat it.”

Thomas laughs a little and holds his plate out so I take it and pass it down to Niall. While Niall slides the meat onto his own plate, I turn to Thomas and ask, “You want some of my vegetables? I probably won’t eat all of these.”

“That’s okay but thank you.” He smiles at me and I pass his plate back to him.

“So, Tommy, what made you become a vegetarian?” I ask, “Is it just for health reasons?”

“Well, that’s a part of it,” He answers as he pokes the risotto experimentally, “I also just really love animals.”

“Me too,” I tell him, “They’re delicious!”

Harry shakes his head but laughs despite himself. “You’re terrible.”

Thomas twists his mouth as if he’s trying to keep himself from saying something then focuses on his plate again, scooping up another bite of vegetables.

“What do you suppose is in this?” Thomas asks Harry in a whisper, pointing to the risotto.

“I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure there’s no meat in it.” Harry answers.

“I wonder if it’s made with a meat broth, though.”

“Do you want me to find out?”

“No, I don’t want to be a pain.” Thomas sighs and I want to tell him to just eat the fucking risotto.

I turn my attention to the other side of the table and join in on their conversation so that I can keep myself from saying something offensive to Thomas. He’s a perfectly nice guy and all, but…talk about high maintenance! I don’t know how Harry puts up with him.

I guess it’s a good thing he’s pretty.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/?action=view&current=Yummycrepe.jpg)

Harry…

If I have to watch Thomas sniffing or poking his risotto one more time, I think I might scream. This is all my fault; I should’ve phoned Simon ahead of time and let him know that Thomas didn’t eat meat so that he could prepare a vegetarian meal. But still, can’t he just eat the damn risotto? I’m sure a little meat broth won’t kill him!

I don’t have a problem with him being a vegetarian, I know it’s probably healthier and his body has certainly benefited from his healthy eating. But it can be a bit embarrassing at times, and on a night like this I really wish he’d just make an exception and eat the food that everyone else is eating.

The rest of our dinner is spent in friendly conversation; we all reminisce about old times and tell stories that Danielle, Perrie and Thomas haven’t heard yet, and Simon and Carmen share a few stories from their pasts as well.

When the dessert is served, Thomas attacks his chocolate-filled crepes with whipped cream and strawberries like it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten and I laugh as I ask him, “Good?”

“It’s delicious.” He replies with his mouth full and I remember that he barely had any dinner so I offer him my crepes and he looks at me then back at the desserts wantonly and asks, “Are you sure you don’t want them?”

“No, I’m full from the prime rib. You can have them.”

He takes my plate then quickly digs into a strawberry, dipping it into the chocolate filling that’s spilling out of the middle of the crepe. I rest my chin in my hand and watch him with a smile on my face and when he notices, he asks, “What?”

“Nothing. You just look really cute.”

“I look cute shoving food into my face?” He asks with a laugh.

“Yeah. You look like a little kid.”

He smiles and leans in to kiss me and I can taste the sweetness of the dessert on his lips so I hold his face and deepen the kiss until I remember there are people all around us.

Reluctantly pulling my lips away from his, I whisper in his ear, “When you finish your dessert maybe we can go upstairs for a bit?”

He licks his lips seductively and nods. “Definitely.”

I feel a stirring between my legs and look around the table to make sure no one’s paying us any attention and thankfully everyone seems to be talking and enjoying the last of their desserts, including Louis and Niall.

Soon enough everyone starts to disperse from the table and Simon invites us to stick around and check out his home theater or the bar so Thomas and I stand up and walk out of the dining room but I turn when I hear Simon asking Louis to join him in his office and wish I knew what they were going to talk about.

Thomas reaches for my hand and says, “It looks like everyone’s heading for the theater, you want to join them?”

“No,” I answer and make sure the rest of the group is out of earshot before quietly saying, “I think we should explore the upstairs bedrooms, if you know what I’m saying.”

“Oh, I definitely know what you’re saying.” He gives me a sly smile and we make sure no one’s watching before walking towards the large staircase. 

I’ve been to Simon’s house before but don’t remember exactly how many rooms he has so we look around a bit, amazed at the sheer size of some of the bedrooms. Sneaking around like this always turns me on, which might have something to do with the time I spent with Louis, and how we used to have to sneak around sometimes to find places to have sex.

I reach down to adjust my growing erection through my trousers and when we open the door to one of the smaller bedrooms, which contains a comfortable looking queen-sized bed, I tell Thomas, “I think we have a winner.”

He wiggles his eyebrows and pulls me all the way into the room, closing the door behind us. “My thoughts exactly.”

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=698400616copy.jpg)

Louis…

I can’t help but to feel nervous as I walk into Simon’s office; even though he’s been nothing but friendly tonight, there’s something very intimidating about having to speak with him alone. He invites me to sit down at his desk then takes the seat across from me, leaning forward on his elbows with his fingers steepled under his chin.

“So, Lou,” He says in a tone that’s somehow both authoritative and concerned, “How are you doing?” 

“I’m doing okay.” I answer and try to smile but I’m so nervous that I can feel my lips shaking. “I’m still, you know, trying to figure it all out but I’m…I feel like I’m doing better than I was six months ago.”

“That’s good to hear.” He nods and places his hands on the desk. “We were all very worried about you. I wasn’t sure if you were having some kind of breakdown or what but I could tell you needed some time away.”

“Yeah,” I clear my throat and continue, “It’s something that I don’t think a lot of people would really understand, but fame isn’t as easy as everyone seems to think it is. You know?”

“I definitely know; a lot of people seem to think achieving fame and fortune will solve all of their problems but what they don’t understand is that it brings on a whole new set of problems.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

“You can always talk to me, I hope you know that.” He smiles. “I think of you boys as my…well, not my children but maybe my protégés?”

I nod. “You’ve done a lot for us, we really appreciate it.”

“Whenever I take someone under my wing, I try to prepare them for fame and all that it brings, so I feel like I failed you somehow.”

“No, you didn’t.” I tell him sincerely, “I just needed some time away. I was going through a lot and I was really exhausted and it all…it all just became a little too much for me.”

“I can understand that.” His face becomes serious again. “But you’re better now?”

“I’d say I’m in a better place now, yes.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Because I think it’s time to get you all back in the studio.” He says and I feel a heaviness creep into my chest because I’m just not sure if I’m ready for this. Simon continues, “I’ve got some songs picked out for the third album already and we’re in talks with Justin Bieber’s people so that he can do a track or two with you boys.”

“Wow. Justin Bieber, really? Niall’s going to be excited about that.”

“Yes, I heard he’s a big fan.” He gives me an expectant look. “So, what do you think? Are you ready to get back to work?”

I swallow hard and reply, “Well, what are we talking about here. I mean, besides a new album. I’m assuming a tour will follow?”

“That’s the next logical step, yes.”

“The thing is…” I pause and take a few deep breaths before saying, “The thing is that I don’t know if I can handle being on tour again. At least, not another world tour. I mean, we were away from home for _eight months_ for the last one and that was really hard.”

“I realize it’s hard to be on the road for that long. I’m sure we can discuss it further with all of the other boys and the studio execs and figure out something that will work for everyone. So, I’ll go ahead and set up a meeting?”

I catch myself chewing on a fingernail so I stop and place my hands in my lap. I cringe a little as I ask, “Am I allowed to think about it?”

He looks down at his hands and purses his lips then looks back at me again. “Here’s the thing, Louis. You signed a contract with my record label.”

I nod once and sink down in my chair, knowing that’s his way of telling me that he basically owns me so I don’t have a choice in the matter.

He continues, “One Direction is due for a new album. The fans are getting restless; they will lose interest and move on to someone else if we don’t give them something new quickly. So as much as I’d like to give you time to think about it, I’m going to have to make an executive decision on this and I’ve decided that a third album needs to happen.”

“I understand, sir.” I answer quietly.

“Now, that’s not to say that you’ll have to do another long tour, but an album definitely needs to happen. The sooner the better.” He knocks on the desk, like a judge banging his gavel, then starts to stand up so I stand as well.

He comes around the desk and gives me a brief hug, patting my back as he says, “Go ahead and enjoy the rest of your evening; have a few drinks. We’ll talk again soon.”

As we exit his office I think about how badly I need to talk to my best friend right now; I need him to tell me everything is going to be okay. I see Niall standing next to the bar so I ask him, “Have you seen Harry?”

“I think he went upstairs.” Niall answers so I thank him and start to walk away but he grabs my shoulder and says, “Hang on, I’ll come with you.”

We walk up the stairs together and Niall asks, “Hey, how did your talk with Simon go? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s good.” I give him a smile. “He’s got some exciting news for you.”

“Yeah?” His face lights up. “What is it?”

“You’ll have to ask Simon.” I shrug and poke my head into one of the bathrooms but find it empty.

“C’mon, just tell me.” He says as he opens the door to one of the bedrooms and walks in but it’s clearly empty so he walks back out and continues down the hall.

“Sorry, can’t do it. Simon would probably be mad at me so I’ll let _him_ tell you the news. You’re going to like it, though.” I walk into another empty bedroom and suddenly get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach because it dawns on me that we’re checking _bedrooms_ for Harry so I step into the hallway and tell Niall, “Did Harry happen to come up here with Thomas? Because we should probably leave them be, yeah?”

But it’s already too late; Niall is opening the next door and gasps as he looks inside and I hear Harry yelling, “What the fuck, Niall! Get out!” 

Niall quickly slams the door shut and says, “Oh shit! I’m _so_ sorry, guys!”

He turns and walks towards me, looking at me with wide eyes and I hold my hands out in front of me and say, “I can guess what they were doing so please, don’t even tell me.” 

He ignores my plea and wheezes out, “Thomas was giving Harry a blowjob. Dude, I will never be able to unsee that.”

“I was trying to warn you that we should leave them alone. C’mon, let’s get out of here.” I grab his arm and try to pull him towards the stairs but before we make it, Harry and Thomas are exiting the bedroom, both looking crumpled and flushed and I want to throw myself head first down the stairs.

“Seriously, Niall,” Harry says, still trying to tuck in his shirt, “There’s a thing called _knocking_ , you ever heard of it?”

“There’s a thing called a _lock_ , you ever heard of it?” Niall replies with a laugh.

Thomas runs his fingers through his messy hair and glances between me, Harry and Niall as he says, “Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I forgot to lock it.”

There’s a painful tightness in my chest and my stomach feels like lead so I quickly turn away from them and practically run down the stairs. I need some fresh air, as well as another drink, so I grab a glass of champagne and make my way to the door that leads to the back porch. Thankfully my escape seems to go unnoticed so I find a nice spot next to a waist-high brick planter box and lean against it as I sip my champagne.

I breathe in the cold night air, torn between wanting to be left alone and wanting someone to come save me from my racing thoughts. I try to calm myself but feel like there’s just no point…my brain is already spinning out of control and all I want to do is escape. I know it’s probably too early in the evening for me to leave but I pull my phone out of my pocket anyway and start to look up the closest cab company. Then I consider calling the airlines, knowing that if I really wanted to I could probably book a flight back to Mexico at least by tomorrow.

Some might say that I’m running away and they’d be right, but I don’t really care. This is _my_ life and I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

“Hey there.” Harry says from the doorway, making me jump but I quickly compose myself and turn to look at him.

“Hey.” I reply and slip my phone back into my pocket.

He continues to stand there with a sheepish look on his face, holding the door open as if he can’t decide if he wants to join me outside or if he wants to disappear back into the house so I motion with my head and say, “Come on out.”

He lets out a breath and walks the rest of the way outside, closing the door behind him then leaning against it.

“I’m so sorry about that back there. That was really…it was stupid and careless and I’m just really embarrassed that—”

“Harry, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize to me.” I laugh a little and say, “Niall, however…”

“Oh God, poor Niall. I think we scarred him for life.” He rests his head on the door and closes his eyes, looking completely humiliated.

I swallow a sip of champagne and say, “You know, that’s something you and I would’ve done a couple of years ago. Sneaking off like that to have sex, I mean.”

He slowly pushes away from the door and steps towards me. “Yeah, I suppose it is.”

My mind instantly flashes back to the many times we used to sneak off together for a quickie and how exciting it always felt, knowing there was a chance we could be caught at any moment. Apparently Harry is having the same thoughts because he looks up at me again with a cheeky smile and says, “Hey, do you remember the Harry Potter premiere?”

“Of course I do.” I smile back at him and shove my hands in my pockets. “We had a lot of fun that night.”

He nods. “I satisfied two of my sexual fantasies that night.”

“Oh yeah? Which two?”

“Well, first of all, I’d always wanted to do it in a movie theater. And secondly, I’d always wanted to do it in a loo.”

I furrow my brow. “What are you talking about? We did it in the loo all the time.”

“No, I mean a public loo.” He explains and I nod.

“I see. And that was a fancy loo, too.”

“That whole premiere was fancy.” He slides one foot out in front of him until the tip of his shoe is almost touching mine. “I still say that was Daniel Radcliffe that we heard talking to someone at the sinks.”

“It was _not_ Daniel Radcliffe!” I answer with a laugh.

“Yes, it was! I know his voice and that was him!” He laughs with me.

“We’d already met him earlier in the night so it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Yeah, but we met him in front of the cameras; it would’ve been totally different without the cameras there.”

“Is that right?” I tease, “We would’ve become best mates if we’d chatted him up in the toilets?”

“You never know, man.”

“I _do_ know and I’m telling you, it _wasn’t_ Daniel Radcliffe.”

“It was so!” He gives me a playful smile, “This would all be settled if you’d have just let me look through the stall door so that I could see if it was him.”

“Yeah, well, I was a bit busy plowing your bum.”

“You could’ve just spun us around in the stall, you know.” He thrusts his hips forward and shifts his body around to demonstrate how easy it is and I throw my head back in laughter.

“That stall was a lot smaller than you seem to remember.”

“Whatever. All I know is Daniel fucking Radcliffe was having a chat at the sinks and we could’ve joined him, and we’d probably be best mates now.”

“Yeah, and you also thought you heard James Earl Jones that night.”

“Hey, I still say it was him. He had a very deep voice.”

“A lot of guys have deep voices, Haz. It doesn’t make them James Earl fucking Jones.” I tell him and he laughs loudly then covers his mouth and I want so badly to reach out and pull his hand away, tell him he should never cover his smile.

I clear my throat and look at my feet then back at Harry. “Anyway, I guess we’ll never know.”

“Guess not.” He shrugs. “We still had fun, even if we didn’t get to meet James Earl Jones.”

“We sure did.” I pick up my champagne glass from where it’s resting on the brick planter box and take a sip. After setting the glass down again I say, “I should probably slow down on the champagne, I’ve lost track of how many I’ve had.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a nice buzz going. It’s good stuff; I bet it’s expensive.” He reaches for my glass and drinks the rest of it and I huff loudly, feigning anger.

“Just go ahead and help yourself to the rest of my drink.”

He laughs and covers his mouth to keep from spitting champagne onto the ground before saying, “Sorry. Should’ve asked first.”

“It’s okay. I can always get more.” I smile and watch him set the empty glass down, trying to ignore the warmth rushing between my legs when I see a bit of the shiny liquid resting on his lower lip.

He slowly licks his lips then smiles as he says, “Remember those terrible drinks we had at that party for Cheryl Cole?”

“How could I forget?” I place a hand on my stomach. “What were they, did we ever find out?”

“I think they were supposed to be mojitos.”

“They just looked like green sludge. Absolutely awful.”

“Yet, we still kept drinking them.” He laughs.

“Hey, any time they offered us free booze, we felt obligated to drink it. I think Niall actually quite liked them, he kept drinking them until he turned almost as green as the drinks!”

“I know, and he kept making that face,” He makes the face and I double over with laughter because he does it so perfectly.

We continue to talk and laugh and pretty soon I realize I’ve forgotten all about making flight arrangements. Eventually Liam pokes his head out the backdoor to check on us and brings us two coffees, which is his subtle way of telling us it’s almost time to wrap up the night. Then he heads back inside, giving us both a smile before he closes the door.

I sip the hot coffee from my mug, wishing it were tea, and say, “You and Liam have gotten really close, huh?”

“Yeah, he’s been amazing.” He sips his own coffee and cringes then sets it down. (He’s never been a fan of coffee either.) “He helped me through a pretty rough time.”

I nod and look down at the ground, immediately feeling guilty. “He’s a really good guy.”

“He is. And not a bad kisser.” He says and my head snaps up.

“What?”

He smiles at me, looking a bit embarrassed. “I kissed him once; it was actually quite good.”

“Why did you kiss him?”

“I was feeling down.” He shuffles his feet and shrugs. “He came over to my flat to comfort me and I laid one on him. A nice wet one, too.” He laughs and adds, “I was horrified afterwards, because he…he rejected me but in a nice, Liam way. And I thought for sure I’d ruined our friendship but we’ve actually grown closer than ever since then. We laugh about the kiss now.”

I shake my head and smile. “I can’t believe you kissed him.”

“Well, you know what they say…the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“Is that what they say?” I ask with a smirk and he nods.

“They do.”

“So you were going to get under Liam?”

“I was trying to, yeah. But he didn’t want me.” He laughs a little but there’s a sadness in his eyes and that guilty feeling multiplies and grows heavier in the pit of my stomach. He takes in a deep breath then blows it out slowly and shrugs again. “Anyway, it’s old news.”

He takes another sip of coffee, probably just to have something to do, and I sip mine as well before saying, “I really am sorry, Harry. I wish that I’d handled things better between us.”

He waves away my apology. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“I do, though. I just…I have so much regret.” I feel the emotion swelling within me and try to swallow around the lump in my throat. “I wish I could go back and change things—”

“I don’t.” He looks me in the eye and quietly says, “It made me stronger; it made me realize that I was naïve. I think I needed to go through that in order to grow up some, you know?”

“I guess so.” I shake my head. “God, you’re so incredible. I hope Tommy knows how lucky he is.”

“It’s Thomas.” He says with a pointed look and I smirk.

“Oh yeah,” I set my coffee mug down again then turn back to him with a serious look. “So, is he good to you?”

“He’s really good to me. Treats me with kindness and respect,” He seems to hesitate for a moment then adds quietly, “He loves me.”

“You do seem really happy.”

“I am happy. I mean, it’s still really new but…it looks promising.”

“I’m glad.” I force a smile. “I’m glad you met someone who makes you happy. Even if he is a pain in the ass vegetarian.”

“Let’s not talk about that.” He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head then pauses again before asking, “How about you, Lou?”

“Me? I could never be a vegetarian.”

He laughs. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

I laugh with him. “What about me?”

“Are you happy?”

I roll my lips into my mouth and squint at the sky as I think about how to answer the question. Finally, I tell him, “I’m workin’ on it.”

“Well, let me know if I can help in some way. Because I want you to be happy.” He moves closer and embraces me and I immediately melt against him, burying my face in his neck and sliding my arms around his waist.

The backdoor opens again and Harry quickly moves away from me when we hear Thomas’ voice saying, “Here you are.”

Harry smiles nervously and replies, “Here I am. We were just havin’ a chat.”

Thomas looks at me, his expression suspicious at first but he quickly fixes his face with a smile and looks at Harry again, “You disappeared on me, babe.”

He wraps his arm around Harry’s shoulder and Harry leans into him, looking apologetic. “Sorry, I lost track of time. Have you been terribly bored?”

“No, Niall and I were in Simon’s movie room. They were playing all of your auditions from the X-Factor in there; it was quite entertaining.”

“Oh Lord.” Harry laughs and looks at me. “That’s really embarrassing.”

“No, I liked it.” Thomas says, keeping his eyes on Harry as if I’m not even there. “You were adorable.”

“He _was_ adorable, wasn’t he?” I say then start snapping my fingers and singing Harry’s audition song, “Isn’t she lov-ely…isn’t she won-der-ful…”

“Oh no!” Harry laughs. “Please stop!”

To my surprise, Thomas starts to sing with me, “Isn’t she pre-cious…less than one minute old. I never thought—”

Harry laughs even louder and says again, “Please stop!”

Thomas and I both stop singing and laugh. Thomas pulls Harry closer and bends down to kiss him and I turn away to reach for my cup of coffee again so I don’t have to watch them.

As I’m sipping my coffee, Thomas says to me with a playful smile, “Your audition was pretty good, too. But I’m not so sure about the hair, dude.”

“Hey, that was very in style back then, I’ll have you know.”

“What style would you call that, exactly?” He asks, still smiling.

“The shag?” I answer and he nods.

“Oh, I see. Well, it was definitely shaggy.”

I realize I’ve been craning my neck to look up at him and try to stand a bit taller before saying, “Damn, you’re tall. How tall are you?”

“Not that tall, actually. Only six foot one.” He looks down at Harry. “What is that here in England? Don’t you do it in centimeters or something? I always get confused trying to figure out the conversions.”

“Yeah, numbers are hard.” I say playfully but when I look at Harry, I notice that he seems incredibly uncomfortable, as if Thomas and I are going to start fighting with each other at any moment. I thought we were having a friendly conversation but maybe Harry senses something that I don’t.

The last thing I want is to make him uncomfortable so I smile and say, “Well, I’m gonna head back inside and see if Zayn’s ready to go.”

Harry looks disappointed but Thomas nods and says, “Yeah, we should probably get going as well.” He looks at Harry. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Harry replies, smiling a bit sadly then glances back at me as Thomas pulls him towards the door and I wonder if he’s having the same internal conflict that I am.

As much as I’m ready to leave Simon’s house, I’m definitely not ready for my conversation with Harry to end.

~ End Chapter Sixteen ~


	17. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the comments and kudos! :)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=louis_.jpg)

Louis…

We find everyone inside gathering their coats and when Zayn sees me, he smiles and says, “There you are! I was about to come looking for you. You ready to go?”

“Yep. I just have to say goodbye to Simon.”

“Okay,” He pulls his coat on. “Oh, Liam’s going to drive us to my place in his car.”

“What? Why?”

“Perrie and Danielle are going to take my car. They’re going to Eleanor’s for the rest of the night. Liam hasn’t had anything to drink tonight so he’s going to drive us and then we’ll all hang out at my place. Niall’s meeting us there; he left already, said he wanted to pick up some snacks first.” 

“Some snacks?” I laugh. “Didn’t we just eat?”

“We’re talking about Niall.” Zayn answers with an amused smile then looks at Harry and Thomas, who are gathering their coats as well, and says, “You guys want to come over, too? We can have some drinks at my place?”

Harry smiles brightly. “Yeah, that sounds like—”

Thomas interrupts, “Nah, I think we’re just going to head home. It’s getting kind of late.”

I pull my phone out and look at the time before saying, “It’s not that late. Maybe Harry could come with us? There’s room in the car for one more.”

“Oh, um…” Thomas looks at Harry and quietly says, “Yeah, if you want I’ll just go home by myself and you can go with them?”

Harry looks at me and Zayn, his expression hopeful, and just as I’m convinced that he’s going to come with us, he looks up at Thomas and must see something on his boyfriend’s face because he seems to change his mind and says, “No, that’s okay. I’ll come home with you.”

“You sure, baby? I don’t want to keep you from your friends.” Thomas says sweetly, reaching out to brush Harry’s hair away from his face and it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes and make a fake vomiting noise.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Let’s go home.” Harry smiles and takes Thomas’ hand and I turn away just as they’re about to kiss because I can only take so much. I’m afraid I may _actually_ vomit if I have to watch another syrupy-sweet moment between them.

Simon and Carmen meet us in the foyer and it’s all a bit chaotic as we each take turns hugging them and when I hug Carmen, I make sure to thank her for the dinner, even though I’m positive that she didn’t do _any_ of the actual cooking, and she kisses my cheek and thanks me for coming before moving on to the next person.

Once we’re outside I know there’s going to be another round of goodbyes for Thomas, Harry, Danielle and Perrie so I stay back, watching as the hugs and niceties begin. I finally step forward and give Danielle and Perrie a hug then watch as they walk away with Liam and Zayn to say their goodbyes at the car and I’m left with Harry and Thomas.

I decide we should go ahead and get it over with so I shake Thomas’ hand, trying to sound as sincere as possible when I tell him how nice it was to meet him and he gives me a tight smile and says “yeah, same here” before taking a few steps away so that Harry and I can talk. 

“So…” Harry starts then we stare at each other for a moment before moving closer for a hug and he says, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

I nod against his shoulder. “Okay.”

“I mean it,” He says as we pull away from each other, “If you’re going to disappear again, at least fucking _call_ me every now and then.”

“I will. We’ll talk again soon.” I manage a smile, even though I feel like my chest is tightening again, and he smiles back then shakes his hair forward and brushes it aside as he walks towards Thomas.

I watch them pull away in Harry’s Porsche and jump a little when I feel Liam’s arm slide across my shoulders. He asks, “You okay?”

I immediately nod and slip my arm around his waist. “Oh yeah. I’m aces, Li.”

We walk together to his car where Zayn is waiting for us, bouncing from foot to foot and telling us, “C’mon, you two. I’m freezing my bollocks off.”

He calls shotgun so I climb into the backseat and Liam makes sure we’re all belted in before starting the car; I glance at Simon’s mansion one last time as we pull out onto the street, wishing Harry was sitting next to me.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=tumblr_mdhplkPqZa1qet7peo1_250.gif)

Harry…

I pull off of the motorway and stop at a red light so I glance over at Thomas but his head is turned away from me as he looks out the passenger side window into the darkness. Our entire ride home so far has been silent, aside from the songs on the radio, and I can feel a tension in the air that’s not usually present between us.

The light turns green so I put the car into gear and decide it’s time to clear the air so I ask, “Are you angry with me?”

He finally looks at me and says, “Why would you think that?”

“Well, you’ve been awfully quiet.”

He shakes his head. “I’m just thinking.”

“What are you thinking about?”

He hesitates briefly before asking, “Do you still have feelings for him?”

I almost ask him who he’s talking about, just to stall for time, but I know he’ll see right through me so instead I say as calmly as I can, “We’ve talked about this before. He was the first person I ever truly fell in love with. The first boy I had sex with. I can’t help but to have certain feelings for him.”

He nods slowly then looks out the window again. “I thought so.”

“Hey,” I tell him soothingly, “He’s my friend now, that’s all.”

“You sure about that?” He asks, looking at me again with his eyebrows raised.

“What do you mean?”

“I see the way you look at him.”

“I look at him like a friend!” I laugh a little, trying to ease the tension.

“I think there’s more to it than that; you smiled at him in a different way than you smile at me.”

I want to deny it and even shake my head a little but I know he’s probably right. I finally tell him, “Well, he’s a funny guy. Don’t you think he’s funny?”

“I guess, if you’re into that kind of humor.” He looks out the window again then quickly looks back at me and says, “Let me ask you this…why did you jump away from him the way that you did?” I don’t answer right away so he explains further, “When I came out back to find you, you were hugging him and you jumped away like you were guilty of something.”

“I don’t know. It was just a kneejerk reaction, I promise.” I pull onto my street and park then turn the engine off and turn to face him. “We were just talking, I promise. I just…I thought you’d get mad or think that we were making out or something.”

“I _did_ think that.”

“See! And that’s why I jumped away!”

“Why were you hugging him in the first place?”

“We were just having a moment. It was a _friendly_ hug.” He looks skeptical so I add, “We were actually talking about you—”

“Yeah, right!”

“We were! I was telling him how happy you make me and what a great guy you are. Then he said he was glad I found happiness and I told him I want the same for him. That’s _all_ , I swear. It was perfectly innocent.”

“Okay, Harry. If you say so,” He gives me a look that tells me he doesn’t believe me for a second then turns to reach for the door handle.

“I do say so!” I answer angrily but he’s already out of the car so I pull my keys out of the ignition and step out of the driver’s side then hit the button to lock the doors.

Thomas is waiting for me in front of my flat already so I unlock it as I say, “You know, this was a hard night for me…being between you two all night like that? I was a nervous wreck.”

“How do you think I felt?” He says as we both step inside and turn the lights on, “And then he had to keep making comments like ‘numbers are hard’ and that comment about how delicious animals are. And calling me Tommy all night, even after I told him I don’t go by that? He clearly wanted to belittle me!”

“I don’t think he was trying to belittle you; that’s just his sense of humor.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to defend him? That’s just fucking great!”

I make an exasperated noise then take a deep breath and say, “I’m not defending him! I’m just explaining that he has a kind of…sardonic sense of humor. That’s just his way of being funny, but he doesn’t ever mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think he does it out of nervousness sometimes.”

Thomas doesn’t say anything, he just stands with his shoulders slumped, looking sad, frustrated and angry all at once, and I instantly feel guilty because I know I’m responsible for putting him in this position. I want nothing more than to ease his worries so I step closer and tell him soothingly, “Louis will always be a part of my life, there’s nothing I can do about that, but...what I had with him is in the past. I’m with _you_ now.”

“Yeah?” He moves even closer and slowly slides his hands down my arms. “Look, I care about you; I don’t want to hold you back from something that you really want.”

“I really want _you_. I promise.” I smile up at him and he pauses before finally leaning down to kiss me. I close my eyes and let my hands roam up his back, enjoying the way his body feels against my own and trying to erase any thoughts of Louis from my mind.

He looks me in the eyes and smiles as he says, “So, was that our first fight?”

I glance up at the ceiling then back at him. “I believe it was.”

“How do you think it went?”

“I think it went well. We both stayed fairly calm, not a lot of yelling.”

“I think it went well, too.” He kisses me again and asks, “Should we have angry makeup sex now?”

“Well, obviously.” I roll my eyes playfully and he rolls his as well.

“Obviously, duh.” 

We both laugh and he pulls me in for another kiss then takes my hand and we walk towards the bedroom, eager to end the night in the best way possible.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=liam-paynesaint.jpg)

Louis…

Zayn, Liam and Niall chat with each other in the kitchen while Zayn prepares us a few more drinks but I remain in the living room waiting for them, flipping through the channels on the telly to try and find something to watch but to be honest, I’m not really paying attention to the images rolling by because my mind is elsewhere.

Liam walks into the living room and sits on the floor in front of the sofa that I’m sprawled out on and I can see out of my peripheral vision that he’s looking at me but I ignore him and keep flipping through channels.

“There’s absolutely nothing good on.” I mutter, “You’d think with this many channels I’d be able to find _something_ decent but—”

“You could just turn it off.” Liam says so I sigh and turn the TV off then set the remote down on the sofa next to me.

I can sense that he wants to talk to me so I look at him finally and ask, “What’s up?”

He turns his body to face me and says, “How you doin’? You okay?”

“Like I said, I’m aces.”

He looks at me skeptically. “Really?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because tonight had to be a bit nerve racking for you.”

“I think it was a bit nerve racking for all of us.” I try to answer simply but he gives me another skeptical look so I ask, “What do you want me to say, Liam?”

He shrugs one shoulder. “You’ve just been so quiet since we got here. I thought you might want to talk about what’s on your mind.”

I know he means well but sometimes I hate it when he plays therapist. (Mostly because he always seems to get me to talk about things I don’t want to talk about!) I stretch my legs out, crossing my feet at the ankles and heave a deep sigh then tell him, “I guess it was a bit hard. Tonight, I mean. Seeing everyone again and all.”

He gives me a genuinely concerned look. “How did you feel about seeing Harry with Thomas?”

I feel a snag on one of my fingernails so I bring it to my mouth, knowing it’s disgusting to chew on your nails but it’s a nice distraction and I’m hoping if I stall long enough, Zayn and Niall will come back into the room and I won’t have to have this conversation with Liam. But, of course, Liam knows what I’m up to and smirks a little as he stands up then straddles me on the couch and I start to laugh when he pulls my hands away from my face and pins me down, holding my arms above my head.

“Ooohhhh, kinky!” Niall says as he enters the room and sets a tray of beer and mixed drinks down on the coffee table. 

“Oi!” I wiggle and shout, “Nialler, help me!” 

“Sorry, man. You’re on your own. Zayn and I are going to make some nachos.” He answers and walks out of the room laughing.

I giggle when Liam tickles my armpits then realize my hands are free now so I reach up to pinch his nipples through his shirt and he screeches and yells, “No titty twisters!”

We wrestle for another minute before calling a truce then Liam sits on the opposite end of the couch and I stretch my legs out again, resting them on his lap.

“Well, that’s one way to get my attention.” I say with a breathless laugh and feel the remote control under my back so I reach an arm back to pull it out.

Liam takes a moment to catch his breath before saying, “Seriously, though. What do you think of Harry and Thomas?”

“I think they make a lovely couple and I wish them many happy returns.” I answer in a sing-song and Liam shakes his head so I shrug and say, “I think they seem really happy together. And that’s great. It’s great for Harry.”

“So you like Thomas?”

“He’s…okay.”

He snorts out a laugh. “Yeah, you sound really convincing.”

“Look, he’s not my type. I prefer guys who aren’t completely full of themselves.”

“You think he’s full of himself?”

“Absolutely.”

“What did he do to make you think that?” He furrows his brows. “Because I’ve never gotten that from him.”

“I dunno,” I sigh and try to think of some examples to give him but realize I don’t have any. I decide to tell him, “Look, he just strikes me as some holier-than-thou, hippy douchebag.”

“A hippy?” Liam laughs, “Seriously?”

“I’m very serious. He’s probably one of those blokes who brings his own canvas bags to the grocery so he can save the environment one plastic bag at a time!”

“Oh yeah, what a wanker.” Liam says sarcastically then adds, “By the way, _I_ bring _my_ own canvas bags to the grocery, so does that make me a hippy?”

“No, because you’re _Liam_. It’s _different_. Thomas seems like the kind of guy who sees someone throwing away a plastic bottle and gives them a twenty minute lecture about how it’s going to end up in a landfill somewhere for a million years.”

Liam bites his bottom lip, looking like he’s highly amused by my ranting. 

I ask him, “Does he even have a car? He probably drives a Prius, doesn’t he.”

“He doesn’t have a car. He either gets a ride from Harry or he hires a cab.”

“Of _course_ , because owning a car would add to pollution and we can’t have that!” Liam doesn’t say anything so I continue, “He probably makes his own shoes out of old tires.”

At this, Liam bursts out laughing then tells me, “I can honestly say I’ve never seen him wearing _tire shoes_. But who knows, maybe he has some stowed away in his wardrobe.”

“I bet he does. And I bet he washes his clothes in a river to conserve water!” I can’t even get through my sentence without laughing and pretty soon Liam and I are both practically in tears because we’re laughing so hard.

He catches his breath and wipes his eyes as he says, “I just have this visual of Thomas naked and washing his clothes in a river then beating them against a rock!”

We both start laughing again and I have to hold my stomach because it actually hurts from laughing so hard. When Liam’s laughter subsides a bit, he asks, “And where is this supposed river where he washes his clothes?”

I chuck a pillow at him and reply, “How should I know? I wash my clothes in a washing machine like a normal person!”

He tosses the pillow back and says with a smile, “You’re being ridiculous, I just hope you know that.”

“Fine, I’m being ridiculous but at least I don’t look down my nose at people like Hippy McDouchenozzle.”

Liam waits then tells me, “You know what I think? I think you’re jealous.”

I look at him like he’s crazy and reply indignantly, “Hardly!”

“It’s okay to admit you’re jealous.”

“Liam, I think you might be forgetting…” I look back at the kitchen to make sure Zayn and Niall are still occupied then sit up a little and lower my voice, “You seem to be forgetting that I was the one who told Harry I didn’t want to be with him.”

“Oh, I remember.”

“So, why would I be jealous?”

“Because sometimes we don’t realize we want something until we see that someone else has it.”

“Piss off, Li.” I shake my head angrily. “I’m hardly jealous of that pompous prick.”

“If you say so,” He gives me a knowing look and I’ve never wanted to punch Liam so badly in my life.

“I do say so!” I move my legs off of him and sit up so that I can grab one of the drinks from the tray that Niall brought in. I have no idea what it is but it’s strong and burns my throat and I gasp out a breath as I set the empty glass down on the coffee table. I sit back on the sofa again, hugging the pillow to my chest, suddenly feeling the need to protect my racing heart, then I stare at the painting on Zayn’s wall but my vision isn’t focused because my head is swimming with too many thoughts. 

Liam starts humming a song next to me and it doesn’t take long for me to recognize the tune so I glare at him and ask, “Are you really humming ‘Taken’ to me?”

He doesn’t answer, but instead sings, “Now that you can’t have me, you suddenly want me. Now that I’m with somebody else, you tell me—”

I throw the pillow at him again, this time with more force, and he says, “Ouch! Hey, don’t get mad at me just because I’m being honest with you.” 

Niall and Zayn walk in the room, carrying two huge plates of nachos, and I’m grateful because it means this ridiculous conversation with Liam can finally end. Unfortunately, Liam doesn’t seem to think so because he scoots closer to me on the sofa and holds my forearm as he whispers emphatically, “I think you need to start being honest with yourself, Louis. Because if you keep running away and denying your feelings, you’re going to end up looking back on your life and wondering why you let someone so wonderful slip through your fingers. And you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

He pulls back a little and much to my embarrassment I realize my eyes are filling with tears so I quickly try to wipe them away. I glance at Niall and Zayn and see that they’re both trying to get comfortable on the floor next to the coffee table and having a conversation of their own so I look back at Liam and say, “You don’t understand, Li. You don’t know how hard it is.”

“What? A relationship?”

“A relationship with a boy,” I answer quietly, “It’s just really scary to think of actually being, like, _openly_ in a relationship with another boy.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Are you kidding?” I hold my hand up and start to list items off on my fingers, “We could get our asses kicked. My family would probably freak out. My friends would probably disown me. The entire _world_ would be talking about us…”

“So what? So the world talks about you, and then what? Then they get over it and move on to something else.” I open my mouth to say something in protest but he squeezes my arm and says, “And your family would be fine. Your friends would be fine, too, and if they weren’t fine then they weren’t really your friends to begin with.”

I sigh and pull the pillow into my arms again, resting my chin on the top of it. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It can be that easy. You’re the one making it hard.”

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?” Niall asks before shoving another bite of nachos into his mouth.

Zayn nods and says, “Yeah, you two are way too serious. Is everything alright?”

I look at Liam for help because I feel too raw right now, like my emotions are sitting right on the edge and I don’t know if I want to hold them in anymore. I don’t know if I _should_ hold them in anymore. 

Liam seems to understand and says, “We’re talking about cookies.”

I let out a startled laugh and I’m so grateful for the break in tension that I put the pillow down and pounce on Liam to give him a hug. He laughs into my shoulder and I kiss his cheek and tell him, “You’re fuckin’ amazing.”

“I try.” He says with a laugh as I sit in my own spot again.

“You guys are weird.” Niall says, shaking his head.

Zayn points to the nachos and tells us, “These are for all of us you know.”

Liam and I shift down onto the floor next to the coffee table and we both reach for a crisp covered in cheese. As I’m chewing, I tell Liam, “So…maybe I am a little jealous.”

He smirks and finishes chewing the bite in his mouth before saying, “That’s a start. I’m proud of you for admitting that.”

“Yeah, but…what good does it do me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Being jealous gets me nowhere. I have no right to even be jealous, you know?”

“What the fuck are you two going on about?” Zayn asks with frustration. “What are you jealous of?”

“Someone’s got his cookies.” Liam explains, “He didn’t think he wanted them so someone else took them and now he’s realizing he might’ve wanted them after all.”

Zayn looks from Liam to me and says, “I’ve got cookies in the kitchen. What kind do you want?”

Liam and I try to hold back our laughter and I explain, “They’re very special cookies. The best I’ve ever had, if I’m being honest. You can’t find them just anywhere.”

Zayn furrows his brow and Niall stops eating for a moment to look around at all of us as he says, “Well damn, now I want some of these cookies.”

Liam and I can’t hold our laughter any longer and Niall smiles and asks, “What? What’d I say? And since when do we call biscuits ‘cookies’? Are we American all of the sudden?”

Zayn takes a sip of his drink and tells Niall, “Maybe I’m taking crazy pills but I think they might be talking in some kind of code.”

“You got it, Zayn.” I pat him on the shoulder.

“So, what are cookies?” Zayn asks and I readjust myself to sit cross-legged then grab one of the beers from the tray and take a long swig, buying myself a little time.

I look to Liam and he nods reassuringly then quietly says, “It’ll be alright. They’re your friends, your _true_ friends. You can tell them.”

Niall and Zayn have stopped eating and are both looking at me curiously so I take a deep breath and say, “Well, boys…I’ve got something to tell you.”

~ End Chapter Seventeen ~


	18. Even Popstars Need Pampering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay, it wasn't supposed to take this long! :(
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be completely different but Louis got into my head and boy was he chatty! Anyway, I hope you'll like it. ;)

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/?action=view&current=Harryrobe.jpg)

Harry…

I relax a little further into my spa chair then take another sip of my mimosa before telling my sister, “I have to admit, this is pretty nice.”

“It’s amazing.” She answers sleepily from her chair next to me, “We should come here at least once a week.”

“Too bad I have to leave for tour soon. But when I get back we can definitely start making regular appointments.” I lean my head back and close my eyes when the pedicurist starts to massage my foot.

“I’m glad you’re secure enough in your masculinity to come get a pedicure with me.” Gemma says and I open my eyes and look over at her.

“Well, I’ve gotten better about not giving a shit what people think. I’ve had enough gay comments to last me a lifetime; I’m learning to just let it go.”

“Are people still making gay comments? You let me know who and I’ll kick their asses. I swear to you I will.”

I smile and tell her, “I believe you, thank you for that. You know people always have to make their little comments because they think they’re _so_ funny.”

“People can be such wankers.” She shakes her head and sighs, relaxing further back into her chair, and I have to laugh because I know she’d probably have more to say about it than that but it’s kind of hard to stay mad when you’re getting one of the best foot and leg massages you’ve ever gotten.

The pedicurist’s fingers seem to be working magic on my calf and I can’t help but to moan with pleasure, making the small older woman giggle and ask, “Feel good?”

“It’s heaven, Frannie. Absolute heaven,” I answer and give her a little wink.

She giggles again and slowly runs her thumbs up my shin while saying something in German to Marta, the woman who’s massaging Gemma’s feet.

When their chatter continues, Gemma leans closer to me and whispers, “You know they’re talking about us, right?”

“Don’t be paranoid.” I tell her but when Fran and Marta look at us then back at each other and laugh, I tell my sister, “Okay, maybe you’re right.”

“I told you.” She smirks and finishes the last of her mimosa.

Fran lowers my foot into the hot, sudsy water so that she can rinse my leg off then she pulls both feet out of the water and wraps them in a soft, warm towel. She smiles at me and asks, “You want polish?”

Gemma laughs and tells her, “Yeah, he wants a bright red.”

“No, I don’t want polish.” I say as I reach out to try and cover Gemma’s mouth but she grabs my hand and pushes it away.

“He does, he wants hooker red. Do you have hooker red?”

Fran just stands up and says, “I will do clear. Clear is good for boys.”

“I don’t need any polish, honestly.” I try to tell her but she’s already walking away and Gemma continues to laugh.

I shake my head. “Great, that’s just what I need is nail polish.”

“It’ll be so pretty.” Gemma says sarcastically, “Ohh, I saw a nice glittery polish on the way in; I bet she’ll put that on you if you ask her real nice.”

“Piss off.” I laugh and reach out to swat her but she leans away.

Marta finishes with Gemma’s massage and wraps her feet in a towel just like mine before asking, “How about you? You want polish?”

Gemma answers, “Yes, do you have some purple polishes I could choose from?”

“Let me see what I can find for you.” Marta nods and stands up then gives me what I’m assuming is supposed to be a seductive smile before she walks away, swaying her hips and looking over her shoulder at me a few times.

Gemma and I look at each other with wide eyes and both start laughing again. Once Marta is completely out of earshot, I ask, “Is it just me or was she flirting with me?”

“She was definitely flirting with you. It’s too bad I don’t know how to say ‘sorry but my brother likes cock’ in German.”

I laugh loudly then cover my mouth and sink down into my chair when I see a few of the spa’s other patrons giving me dirty looks for disturbing their peace and quiet.

Fran and Marta come back with polish and Gemma picks out a bright purple from the three bottles she’s offered while I begrudgingly allow Fran to paint my toenails with a clear polish. When we’re done being polished, Fran brings us two more mimosas and tells us to sit and relax so I close my eyes and listen to the soft, ethereal music that’s playing, feeling so relaxed I might actually fall asleep any minute. 

My phone buzzes in the pocket of my robe so I pull it out and read the text, smiling when I see that it’s from Louis.

“I can’t believe you brought your phone out here,” Gemma says, “We’re supposed to be relaxing; you should’ve left it in the lockers.”

“I’m sorry but I have important business to attend to.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“None of your business, _miss nosey_.” I reply and take a picture of my toes then type out a quick message to Louis and attach the picture before sending it off, knowing he’ll have a good laugh over it. When I look at Gemma again, she’s narrowing her eyes at me so I tell her, “It’s Louis; he was letting me know he’s just arrived back in England. He’s going to stay at his mum’s tonight but we’ll see each other tomorrow for the video shoot.”

“He’s been gone for a while, hasn’t he?”

I nod. “Close to three months.”

“Where was he this time?”

“Haiti. He was working with some people that build schools, but this time they were doing some renovations on an orphanage; he’s been sending me pictures almost every day.” I flip through the pictures on my phone and show her a couple of Louis with a group of children in front of one of the newly finished buildings.

She gives an impressed nod and says, “It’s pretty cool that Simon gave him the time to do that; wasn’t he away for six months before that already?”

“Yeah, but there was a lot that still needed to be worked out for the new album, and he sang most of his parts before he left then flew back briefly to finish the rest of it, so it’s not like anything got delayed because of him.” I slide my phone back into my pocket. “And he’s been in constant contact with Simon so it’s not like he hasn’t been doing his part or—”

“Okay, okay, I get it. He’s wonderful and perfect.” She scoffs, “You always defend him like that.”

“I know; I can’t help it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m still mad at him for hurting you.”

“I know you are but you shouldn’t be,” I reply softly, “He didn’t intentionally hurt me.”

She takes a few sips from her drink then tells me, “I have to admit that it’s pretty cool, what he’s trying to do with his charity and all.”

“Isn’t it? I’m so proud of him.” I smile and lean my head back.

“Have you told him that you and Thomas broke up?” She asks so I look over at her again, my smile fading.

“Not yet, no.”

“How do you think he’ll react?”

“Not sure; he didn’t seem to really like Thomas, so…”

“I did,” She says dreamily, “I liked Thomas a lot.”

“I know you did. Sorry things didn’t work out between you and him.”

She hits my arm playfully and says, “Brat. I just liked the two of you together. And he was _so hot_ , ohmygod.”

“Yeah, well, he had his flaws, too.”

“I don’t believe you. That man had no flaws. He was like…if James Dean and Brad Pitt had a baby, Thomas would be that baby.”

I laugh and tell her, “Well, you can still enjoy his face. His modeling career is on fire now, thanks in part to our relationship going public, so I’m sure you’ll be seeing him everywhere.”

Gemma tilts her head and stares at me thoughtfully. “He was good to you, wasn’t he? He didn’t hurt you or anything like that?”

“No, he never hurt me. He did get jealous sometimes but he was always good to me.” She continues to stare at me so I ask, “What?”

“I just don’t understand what happened between you two. I mean, he seemed like the perfect guy for you.”

I think about the last conversation I had with Thomas and instantly feel a sadness creeping over me because even though our breakup was mutual, I can’t help but to feel like I failed somehow.

“You know what it was?” I finally answer her, trying to keep my voice even, “He told me all the time that he loved me and I could never say it back. I just couldn’t do it because I didn’t want to lie to him.”

“You didn’t love him?” She asks and I shake my head.

“I knew that I _should_ love him; he was a wonderful boyfriend, he did everything right and I tried really hard to make it work, but…I just didn’t feel it.” I shrug a little, “I didn’t feel the things I knew I should feel for him. I wish I could’ve.”

She nods slowly and reaches a hand out so I slide my hand into hers, appreciating the gesture. She says quietly, “The right person will come along. You’ll see.”

“Thanks, Gem.” I look down at my feet and smirk. “Now that I’ve gotten a pedicure and a proper haircut, I should attract all kinds of men.”

“Absolutely.” She gives my hand a little squeeze before releasing it and we relax into our spa chairs again and continue to sip our mimosas. I close my eyes and allow my thoughts to drift to the person they always seem to drift to; the man that I can’t seem to shake from my soul no matter how hard I try.

~*~

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=Loufootie.jpg)

Louis…

Being in my mother’s kitchen always brings back wonderful memories; the smell, the chairs, the rack of coffee mugs…even the spot on the table where my sister accidentally spilled nail polish remover is somehow comforting, so even though I’ve had a long flight and should be exhausted, I feel strangely energized by the nostalgia of the room.

I flip to the next picture on my phone and show it to my mother as I say, “Oh, this little boy was my favorite; he followed me practically everywhere.”

She smiles at the picture and says, “He is so adorable, look at that smile.”

“His name is Jean-Noel.”

“And he was your little sidekick?” She asks and my smile widens.

“He was. He wanted to help work on the building but I was afraid he’d hurt himself, because he was so little, so I’d have to find ways to keep him busy while the more dangerous work was done.” I flip to the next picture which shows Jean-Noel wearing one of the t-shirts that I brought, which is so big on him that it’s practically touching the ground. “I’d always try to take some time every day to play a little footie with him and the other children, no matter how tired I was.”

“Was he sad when you left?”

“Yeah, it was really hard to say goodbye to him. It was hard to say goodbye to all of the kids.”

I show her a few more pictures, stopping when I come across one of the little girls that became a favorite of mine. “This is Saraphina; she’s five.”

“Saraphina…such a lovely name.”

“Isn’t it? And you couldn’t call her Sara or she’d correct you very quickly.” I show her a few more pictures. “She was so quiet when we first got there but by the end she would come up and say hi and bring us little presents…just, like, little projects that she’d worked on with the kits that we brought. I think I told you we brought art kits and jewelry kits? They had so much fun with them.”

I hold up my arm to show her the handmade, braided bracelet on my wrist. “Saraphina gave me this before I left and she started crying, which absolutely broke my heart.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” My mum leans closer to rub my back when she sees that I’m getting a little choked up, “I know it must’ve been hard to leave.”

I clear my throat and tell her, “I promised them I’d come back so I’ll have to make good on my promise. It might not be right away, because I have to go on tour, but hopefully they won’t forget about me.”

“I’m sure they won’t.” She kisses my temple and says, “I’m so proud of you. I’ve been bragging to everyone at work. Well, I brag to anyone who’ll listen, really. And I’ve been showing off all of the pictures you send me.”

“Thanks mum.” I grab a tissue to wipe my nose with then say, “I’m really proud of the work we did. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I’m just glad I have the money to do it now, you know?”

She nods. “I think it’s wonderful. I hope I can come with you someday; I’d love to help in whatever way I can.”

“That would be incredible.” I say before drinking the last sip of my tea. “They’re always in need of good medical care so I’m sure your nursing skills would be put to good use.”

“Maybe the next time you go I can come with you.” She stands up to get us both a refill of tea.

“I’d love that.” I answer then look at my phone to check my texts, seeing that I have responses from both Zayn and Harry. Zayn’s message is simple… _“Welcome back bro! c u tmrw.”_

I move on to Harry’s message and laugh when I see that he’s sent me a picture of his feet, which look to be freshly pedicured.

Mum comes back to the table with two fresh mugs of tea. She sits down and asks, “What are you laughing at?”

I show her the picture that Harry sent and say, “Apparently Gemma talked Harry into going for a pedicure.”

She squints so that she can see the picture better and asks, “Is that polish?”

“It does look like polish, yes.” I look at the picture again and shake my head, laughing as I type out a response that simply says, _“should’ve gone with some glitter. ;)”_

I set my phone down and pick up my mug then take a sip and tell my mum, “You make the best tea.”

She smiles and takes a sip of her own tea then my sister, Phoebe, walks into the kitchen and bounces up to me. She grabs my hand, trying to pull me out of the chair as she whines, “Looouuuiiis. I thought you were going to watch a movie with me and Daisy!”

“I am, Phoebes,” I tell her, “but I need to talk to mum for a bit longer.”

“You’ve _been_ talking to mum. We’ve been waiting for _forever_ and—”

“Phoebe,” Mum admonishes gently, “I’d like some time with your brother; you’ll have to find a way to entertain yourself until we’re done talking, alright?”

Phoebe sighs and drops my hand. “Oh, alright. I’ll see if Fizzy wants to play video games with me.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Mum says and watches her skipping out of the kitchen, calling after Fizzy.

“I see she’s just as spunky as ever.” I say and mum shakes her head.

“You have no idea.”

After a few more sips of tea I set the mug down and quietly say, “So, there’s something I need to talk to you about. Recently I’ve…I’ve been trying to be completely honest with the people that I love,” I take a shaky breath and continue, “Because I don’t want to have any secrets.”

“Okay.” She answers cautiously.

I swallow hard and summon up all of my courage then finally tell her, “You see, I’m…I might be a little gay.”

“A little gay? Isn’t that like being a little pregnant?”

“Ok, maybe it’s more than a little.”

“What percentage of you would you say is gay?”

“I’d say…about ninety five percent.”

“Ninety five?” 

“Yeah. The other five just really likes to look at a nice set of boobs.” I answer and she starts to laugh.

“Boobs _are_ really nice,” She says, “Even I can appreciate a beautiful pair and I’m completely straight.”

After a few moments I ask, “So…you’re not mad?”

She places her hand over mine on the table. “Sweetheart, I’m your mother. I’d like to think I know you at least a little bit. I’ve had my suspicions since you were a little boy that you might be attracted to boys.”

“You did? You never said anything.”

“Well, no. Because I wanted to let you figure things out on your own. But I did always tell you that you could talk to me about anything, didn’t I?”

I nod and answer quietly, “Yeah. I just…I couldn’t really talk about _this_. It’s something I’ve tried to fight for a really long time.”

“I know. You always brought girls around when you were younger so I started to think maybe I’d been wrong.”

“You weren’t wrong; I was just trying to force myself to be something I wasn’t. I thought maybe if I kept dating girls I could somehow push that other part of me so far down that it wouldn’t come out anymore.” I laugh a little and shake my head. “It sounds so dumb now, but…I really believed it for a while there. Anyway, I’ve only recently been able to admit, even to myself, that I’m into boys.”

“Is it because of Harry?”

“Wait, you know about me and Harry?” My heart immediately starts to beat a little faster and I suddenly remember that my mum is friends with Harry’s mum, and Harry tends to tell his mum everything so perhaps she knows all about us. “Did Anne tell you?”

Her eyes widen. “I just meant because Harry was with a boy; I figured that must make it easier for you.”

“Oh.” I feel the heat rush to my cheeks and my mouth is suddenly very dry so I pick up my mug of tea and take a few sips.

Mum tilts her head and asks with a bit of amusement, “So, you and Harry?”

I could kick myself for letting that slip but I guess it’s best to go ahead and get it all out so I nod and say, “We…had a thing, I guess you could say.”

“A thing, huh?”

“We weren’t officially together or anything, but we…we had a sexual relationship. Have you heard of friends with benefits?”

“I’m familiar with the term, yes.”

“Well, that’s what we were. We had a…kind of an arrangement where we would help each other out if there was a _need_ , if you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean.” She answers with a laugh.

I wrinkle my nose and ask, “Are you okay with us talking about this?”

“Sweetheart, I’ve had five children. I know a little something about sex.”

“Eww, please.” I make a gagging noise and she laughs.

“C’mon now, we’re both adults so we can have an adult conversation.”

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.” I clear my throat and sit up a little straighter.

“So, you two slept together?”

“We slept together quite a lot.”

“This explains so much. I always wondered why you roomed together when the other boys got rooms of their own.” She says and I nod.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“And how long did this go on?”

I look at the ceiling, trying to remember how long before answering,  
“For about close to two years, I think.”

“That long? Wow.”

“Yeah, the arrangement we had worked pretty well for us for a long time.”

“So, what happened? Why did it end?”

“He told me that he was in love with me.”

Her brow creases. “And that was a bad thing?”

“Well, it scared me. I just couldn’t imagine us being a couple. I mean, it’s one thing to have sex with someone and something else to actually _be_ with them, you know?” She nods and I continue, “So, I pushed him away. I told him he was ruining everything but now I’m realizing that…I think _I’m_ the one who ruined everything.”

“You’re still friends, though, right?”

“Yeah, but…I have to wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been such a chicken shit.”

She gives me a sympathetic look. “You have feelings for him.”

“I believe I do.” I answer quietly then take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted.

“So, tell him that.”

I shake my head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s with someone, and they seem really happy together. What kind of asshole would I be if I told him now that—”

“Sweetheart,” She squeezes my hand, “I don’t think he’s with that boy anymore.”

My heart feels like it skips a beat and I ask, “Are you sure?”

“I’m not positive, no, but I do speak with Anne fairly frequently and she said that things weren’t working out between them.”

“What does that mean…things aren’t working out between them? What does that mean, exactly?” I ask, trying not to get my hopes up just in case my mother is wrong.

“I think you should talk to Harry, because I don’t want to give you erroneous information.”

“Well, what did Anne say?” I stand up from the table, suddenly feeling too much nervous energy to sit, and start to pace the kitchen. “Did she say they’d broken up? Or did she say they were fighting? Because those are different things, you know.”

Mum tells me cautiously, “She said they were having some trouble and she wasn’t sure if things were going to work out between them.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve broken up. I mean, people have trouble in their relationships sometimes but that…what she said, that could mean anything, really.”

I stop pacing and lean against the counter, going through the mental rolodex of text exchanges and phone conversations that I’ve had with Harry over the past couple of weeks and trying to remember if he’d said anything at all about having problems with Thomas.

I start to pace again and mutter to myself, “Of course he didn’t say anything because he knows I don’t like Thomas. So of course he didn’t mention that they were having problems.”

Mum watches me with amusement and shakes her head. “Are you alright? Do you want to let me in on what you’re going on about or—”

“I’m just…I feel like a terrible person.” I say and she stands up from the table so that we can talk face to face.

“You are not a terrible person. Why would you say that?”

“Because, I’m supposed to be his best friend. We talk practically every day and yet…he never once mentioned that he was having problems with his boyfriend. I mean, regardless of what happened between us in the past, I’m still his friend, so he should be able to talk to me about anything.”

“Maybe he didn’t _want_ to talk about it. Maybe he just wanted to talk to his mum and that was enough.” She brushes my hair away from my face like she used to do when I was little and says, “Why don’t you call him right now and sort it all out?”

“I can’t.”

“Why on earth not?”

“I can’t have a conversation like that over the phone. Plus…I think I might be having a panic attack.” I answer, holding a hand over my rapidly beating heart.

“Oh, sweetheart,” She wraps her arms around me so I lean into her, welcoming the comfort of her embrace. She whispers, “Promise me you’ll talk to him soon, okay?”

I nod into her shoulder. “I will.”

“I mean it.” She pulls away from me and brushes my hair back again, saying slowly, “Tell him how you feel.”

I can’t help but to laugh at the way she says it, like I’m a child, then I wipe my eyes and reply, “I will. I promise.”

“You have that video shoot tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, we have to be there pretty early.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to talk to him there?”

“Probably not, we’re going to be busy with filming. But…I’ll ask him if he wants to hang out afterwards or something.”

“Good. Call him right now.”

“ _Now?_ But I’m getting ready to watch a movie with Phoebe and—”

“Nope, call him now. Otherwise he might make plans for tomorrow evening or you might get cold feet during the video shoot, and the longer you put it off the harder it’s going to be.”

“Okay, okay. Sheeze.” I laugh and grab my phone from the table then start to walk out of the kitchen but turn once I’m in the doorway. I tell her, “By the way, thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being so cool…about the whole gay thing. I’m so relieved that you’re not upset with me.”

She walks towards me and pulls me into another hug. “You’re my son and I love you. I couldn’t possibly be more proud of you.”

“You’re the best mom ever.” I whisper sincerely then smile as she kisses my forehead and turns me towards the hallway.

“Go on now, make your phone call.”

I walk down the hall to my old bedroom and close the door then lean against it and stare at my phone, my thumb hovering over Harry’s name in my contacts. I think about rehearsing what I want to say but realize how ridiculous I’m being.

“It should be a simple phone call so there’s no reason to make it complicated, Lou.” I mutter to myself before hitting the button to dial Harry’s number.

I take a few deep breaths and after the third ring, Harry’s deep voice says, “Well, hello there.”

“Hey.” I smile. “Whatcha up to?”

“Gemma and I just finished with our spa day. Did you like the picture I sent?”

“I did. But I don’t know about that polish, Haz.” I push myself away from the door and start to slowly pace my room.

“I know, can you believe that? I tried to tell the lady I didn’t want polish but she kind of insisted. Plus, I figured what the hell. When in Rome, right?”

I laugh a little and say, “Well, luckily you don’t take your shoes off very often so maybe no one will see it.”

“It’ll be our little secret.” He says and I can tell that he’s smiling. “The pedicure felt really good, though. I highly recommend it.”

“Yeah? I don’t know; I think they’d take one look at my feet and run for the hills.”

“Your feet aren’t that bad; I’m sure they’ve seen worse.”

“You’re probably right.”

“So, what are you up to?”

“Oh, I’m getting ready to watch a movie with my sisters.”

“Yeah? What movie?”

“Not sure yet. Probably New York Minute again; they seem to love that one.”

“Isn’t that the one with the Olsen twins?”

“Yep.” I answer with a sigh.

“Ouch. Well, you have fun with that.” He laughs.

“Thanks.”

“I’d better go; my sister’s giving me the stink eye. But I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow?”

“Yeah, um…before I let you go, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Oh, okay. Shoot.”

I take a shaky breath and open my mouth to speak but the nerves in my stomach get the best of me and nothing comes out.

“Lou? You still there?” He asks after a moment and I nod but then remember that he can’t see me.

“I’m here, sorry.” I swallow around the dryness in my throat and finally ask, “What are you doing tomorrow? After the video shoot is over, I mean. Do you have plans?”

“No, I’m free. I kept the night open in case filming ran late or something. Why, what’s up?”

I scratch the back of my neck and say, “I’d like to take you to dinner. If filming is done in time and we’re not too tired?”

“Dinner? Yeah, we can do that. Absolutely.” He answers and I let out the breath I’d been holding.

“Good. Okay, well. It’s sorted then.” I say with a smile, feeling relieved.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He tells me then says in his usual sing-song way, “Bye.”

“Bye.” I reply and end the call then toss my phone onto the bed and laugh as I do a dorky little happy dance, because no one’s here to make fun of me and even if they were, it wouldn’t matter. 

I know tomorrow I’ll probably be a nervous wreck; I’m not sure how my dinner with Harry will go or how he’ll react to all of the things I have to say to him. But right now, in this moment, I feel truly hopeful.

~ End Chapter Eighteen ~


	19. The Heart Wants What it Wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even tell you how sorry I am for taking so long with this chapter! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

I told you that I loved you, that was just the start…  
And now I’m left sitting here, holding my broken heart…  
You see, they don’t call it heartbreak for nothing…  
I learned this lesson the hard way…  
It only took a moment for you to reject my love for you…  
I guess that’s just the price I had to pay…

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk147/scoobyemo/1D/1D%20-%202/?action=view&current=Larryhandsrszd.jpg)

Harry…

“I’m here today with the hottest boyband in the world, One Direction.” The interviewer, Katie, says enthusiastically to the camera then turns to us, “Hi boys.”

“Hi.” We all answer in unison.

“I guess I shouldn’t call you boys anymore,” Katie says, “You’re men now.”

“Yes,” Liam claps a hand on my shoulder, “Even our Harry is out of his teens now.”

“It’s true,” I deadpan directly at the camera, “I am.”

Katie pulls the microphone in front of her own face again and says, “Now, we’re on the set of your video for the first single off of the new album. What can you tell us about that?”

“About the first single or the new album?” Liam asks for clarification.

“Both.” Katie answers, sounding genuinely interested, “Tell me about all of it.”

“Right, well,” Liam explains, “the video we’re shooting today is for our first single, which is called ‘They Don’t Call it Heartbreak for Nothing’. As you can see, we’re just going for a concert setting.”

He gestures towards the concert stage that’s been set up behind us and Katie says, “I hear you’re going to be flying over the crowd?”

“Yes,” Liam speaks again, “we’ll be flying over the crowd. We’re really looking forward to it.”

He nods and looks at the rest of us and we all nod in agreement. I catch Zayn’s eye and we smirk at each other; we’ve often talked about the fact that Liam should be our permanent spokesperson because he seems to be the best at answering these questions.

“Is that something the fans can look forward to with your upcoming tour? Will you be soaring over the crowds?” Katie asks and holds the microphone in front of Zayn, probably to try and give someone else a chance to speak.

“Um,” Zayn ponders for a second then says, “Well, we kind of flew on the last tour, but not exactly like this. I actually don’t know if we’ll be doing this kind of flying on this tour or not.” He looks to Liam for help so Liam takes over.

“We’re still working out the details of our tour, but it is possible we might make it a part of the show. We’ll see how it goes today, I suppose.”

“That would be wonderful; I think your fans would enjoy that.” Katie smiles at Liam then looks at the paper in her hand and asks, “Now, tell me about the new album. How is it different from your previous two?”

She holds the microphone in front of me this time so I clasp my hands in front of me and answer, “Well, I think it’s got more of a grown up sound to it. I mean, we’ve all matured a bit and I think people should be able to see that with our new songs.”

“You’re not the bubble gum, clean-cut pop group anymore?” She asks with a wink and I give her my best smile.

“Sure. I mean, I think we’re a bit more than that.”

“From what I understand, Harry, you and Liam have written two of the songs on the new album as well?”

“We did, yes.” I answer and look at Liam proudly then back at Katie. “And that’s another thing I think people will see is that this album has more of a personal touch to it. We really put a lot of ourselves into it instead of having other people write all of the songs for us.”

“So, the song you’re filming for today is one of the songs that you wrote, is that correct?” She asks and I nod.

“That’s correct.”

“And what’s the name of the other song you wrote?”

“It’s called ‘The Heart Wants what it Wants’.”

“Can you tell me a little about that song?”

I wring my hands in front of me and feel Liam’s hand on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I finally say, “Basically, it’s sort of just about how you don’t really have choice in who you fall in love with. Sometimes it just happens, you know? Your heart decides for you, and you can try to fight it but it’s pointless because the heart wants what it wants.”

“Well said.” Liam tells me and I smile at him.

Katie holds a hand to her chest and says, “I’ve heard both songs that you wrote and I have to say, they are really beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Liam and I answer in unison then I add, “We’re really proud of them.”

“You should be.” Katie gives me a knowing look and asks, “Can you tell me this, were they written about someone in particular?”

“Um…” I know she wants me to say the songs are about Thomas but little does she know, the inspiration is actually standing directly to my left. I clear my throat and tell her, “I’d rather not say who they’re about, actually.”

“But they _were_ written about a particular person, right?”

“I’d really rather not say. I’m just really not comfortable talking about—”

“Oh, come on.” She persists, “Anyone with a computer or who’s opened _any_ magazine over the past year knows about your relationship with a certain male model.”

I feel myself getting more and more annoyed and I’m thankful when Liam decides to help me out by saying, “I think all songs are written from personal experiences and these are no different.”

Katie finally seems to get it and moves on to the next question and I spend the rest of the interview making a concerted effort not to look in Louis’ direction because I know how observant our fans are and I don’t want to give anything away.

When Liam first came to me and told me he’d started writing a song for the new album I was excited to hear what he’d come up with. It only took two lines of the chorus for me to know the influence for the lyrics and I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or not. Of course Liam saw my apprehension and immediately apologized, telling me he’d scrap the song and start over with a different subject matter. 

I could never be mad at Liam; he’s been such a wonderful friend and he always has my best interests at heart so I quickly eased his mind and told him to continue to write the song, with one condition - let me write it with him. After all, if my heartbreak over Louis is going to be the catalyst for a love song, I should at least be able to help with the lyrics.

We ended up writing two songs together and it turned out to be quite cathartic, but one thing I hadn’t considered was the fact that I was going to have to perform these songs every night in concert, with Louis standing only a few feet away from me, not to mention the fact that every interviewer is probably going to ask us who the songs are about, just like Katie did today.

When our interview finally ends, we head for the stage but the director’s assistant sends us away, telling us that they’re not quite ready for us so we should grab a bite to eat to fill the time. Niall doesn’t have to be told twice, he immediately heads for the back exit and out to where the catering trucks are located and Zayn and Louis follow him. I let Liam know I’m going to the dressing room to change my socks, which is only partially true; although I do need to change into thinner socks, because the ones I have on are too thick for the shoes I’m wearing, mostly I just want a few moments to myself.

After searching through my bag, I finally find the socks I want then move to the couch and remove my shoes. As I’m pulling my thick socks off, Liam walks in, looking genuinely concerned. He asks, “You doin’ okay?”

“Yeah,” I explain, “This whole day has me feeling anxious, you know?”

“Are you afraid of flying in the harness?”

“No, I’m actually looking forward to that. I think that’s going to be fun.”

He walks over to the sofa and sits down next to me. “I’m kind of nervous about it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve never been a fan of heights. I mean, I did okay on the platform for the last tour but this feels more dangerous, doesn’t it?”

“We’ll be fine.” I reassure him, “They wouldn’t put us up there if it was dangerous. Look how long they’re taking to prepare it.”

“Exactly! Why is it taking so long? I mean, did something go wrong?”

I want to laugh because he looks like a terrified six year old and it’s really adorable, but instead I pat his knee and tell him, “It’s going to be okay. They’re just being extra cautious. I’m sure it’ll be perfectly safe.”

He takes a deep breath then blows it out and nods. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I’m sure you’re probably right.”

I pull my foot up onto the couch so that I can pull on my new sock and Liam says, “Um, Harry? Is that polish?”

I laugh a little and wiggle my toes in his direction. “Yeah, it’s just clear, though. The pedicurist assured me it’s okay for boys.”

He gives me a skeptical look so I playfully nudge his leg with my foot and tell him, “Don’t be jealous of my pretty toes.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” He snorts, “I’m jealous.”

“Well, you can come with me and Gemma next time and then you can get any color you’d like.”

Once I’ve pulled my socks and shoes on I sit back on the sofa, trying to get comfortable and Liam turns his body so that he’s facing me. He asks, “So, what’s got you anxious?”

“Well, that interview, for one thing.”

“Yeah, she was pretty pushy.”

“And you know that all of our other interviews are probably going to be similar to that, or even _worse_. Some of the people who interview us can be downright rude when they’re trying to get information so I’m sure they won’t let me off the hook that easy.”

“Don’t worry; I’ve got your back. I won’t let them badger you into talking about something you don’t want to talk about.”

“Thanks Li. And thanks for helping me out back there before.”

“No problem. We’ve got to have each other’s backs, right?”

“Absolutely.” I pat his knee again then stare straight ahead, lost in thought until Liam nudges me with his knee.

“What else is going on?” He asks so I look at him.

“Louis asked me to dinner tonight.”

“He did?” His eyes light up.

“Yeah, but it’s not a date or anything.”

“You sure about that?” 

I frown at him. “Of course I’m sure.”

“So he told you ‘this is not a date’?”

“No, he just…he asked if I had plans for tonight so I told him no, and then he said that he wanted to go to dinner with me.”

“Sounds like a date to me.”

“I seriously doubt it.” I shake my head and say, “You know what’s sad? When he called me and asked me, I got a little nervous. I mean, I instantly got butterflies in my stomach, like some pathetic schoolgirl. But then I remembered...” I rub my face and add, “Anyway, it’s probably just a friendly dinner so we can catch up with each other.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Liam tells me with a mischievous smile.

“Why do you say that? Do you know something?” He continues to smile at me so I tell him, “Liam, if you don’t tell me _right now_ , I swear I’ll body slam you into this fucking couch.”

“Such language! You kiss your mum with that mouth?”

“I kissed _you_ with this mouth,” I tell him with a sly smile then add in a sing-song, “And you liked it.”

“I never denied that I liked it. It was a nice kiss.” He says and starts laughing when I maneuver myself into a pouncing position.

I wiggle my butt behind me and hold my hands like claws. “Tell me now, Liam. Or else!”

“I can’t!” He replies so I immediately pounce on him, tackling him into the corner of the couch and we both laugh as we wrestle each other.

“You’re going to muss up your hair!” He yells through his laughter.

“I don’t care!” I grab hold of his wrists, pushing his hands to his chest. “I’ll give you a love bite if you don’t tell me what you know!”

“Do what you have to! You’ll never break me!”

He squeals when I pull his arms out of the way and bend down to bury my mouth against his neck, trying to suck a love bite into his skin but he’s wiggling and laughing so much I can’t get a proper suction.

We hear the door open and Niall walks in then stops, looking at us with raised eyebrows and I realize what we must look like so I quickly climb off of Liam. 

Still laughing, I say, “We were just messing about.”

“I see that.” Niall says with amusement. “I just came to tell you that they’re ready for us now. But maybe I should leave you two alone for a bit?”

“No, it’s okay. We’re ready.” Liam says as he stands up then grabs my hands to help hoist me up.

We start to follow Niall out but Liam stops him right before he opens the door and asks him, “Hey Niall, if someone called you and asked you if you were free for dinner, wouldn’t you immediately assume they’re asking you out on a date?”

“Objection,” I say, “You’re totally leading the witness.”

“I’m not leading him!” Liam says then turns to Niall again.

Niall answers, “I guess it depends on who’s asking me to dinner.”

“Louis asked Harry to dinner.” Liam explains.

“He asked you out?” Niall asks me, sounding excited. “You should definitely say yes.”

“I did say yes,” I tell him then add, “but I don’t think it’s a _date_ date, you know? I think it’s just a friendly dinner, so that we can talk.”

Zayn opens the door and pokes his head in to tell us, “C’mon guys. They’re waiting.”

“We’re coming.” Liam says and turns to exit the room.

Niall and I walk out together and he whispers in my ear, “If I were you, I’d wash all of my nooks and crannies…just in case.”

I laugh when he wiggles his eyebrows then runs away from me down the hallway.

I’m not sure what Liam and Niall know that I don’t know; I’d just thought that Louis had asked me to dinner so that we could hang out and chat, but now Liam has me wondering. Louis _has_ been unusually quiet today, now that I think about it, so maybe it’s not just a friendly dinner after all. One thing’s for sure; it’s better if I don’t get my hopes up.

~*~

Louis…

“Are we sure this thing is safe?” I ask the stunt coordinator who’s strapping me into my harness and he gives me a reassuring nod.

“Absolutely,” He answers, “you’ll be able to do flips and everything.”

“Really? Well, that’s kind of cool.” I say then look over at Harry, watching as he squats down and runs his fingers along the straps that are wrapped around his inner thighs.

He stands up straight again and asks, “Is this supposed to be so tight on my crotch?”

The man laughs a little and says, “It is a bit uncomfortable, I know. But you don’t want it to be loose.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Harry mutters quietly and squats down again, “My bollocks are _not_ happy about this, I’ll tell you that much.”

“Yes, Harry’s future children would like to speak to whoever is responsible for this idea!” I announce loudly and a few of the crew people laugh.

The stunt coordinator finishes with the last strap of my harness and asks, “How does that feel?”

I move around a little, squatting down like Harry did then stretching my arms out as much as I can. I shrug my shoulders and tell him, “It’s alright I guess; not the most comfortable thing in the world, but…”

“You’re only supposed to be in it for about an hour while this part of the video is filmed so you just have to endure it for that long.” He tells me then walks away to adjust Liam’s harness.

Harry and I move closer together and he reaches out to touch the top of my hair. He asks, “Did they put glitter in your quiff?”

“They did; are you jealous?”

“I am. I wouldn’t have minded a bit of glitter.”

“Sorry, love. Only I get to look like a disco ball.”

He bites his lip and looks down at his feet with an expression on his face that I can’t quite read but it looks almost sad so I move closer and ask, “You okay?”

“Yep, I’m fine.”

“No, what is it?”

He looks me in the eye and quietly says, “You haven’t called me ‘love’ in a very long time.”

“Well, I’ve been an idiot.” I reach out to run my hand along his arm and he stares at me with such confusion I’m tempted to pull him into the dressing room so that I can talk to him right now but Niall stumbles up to us, pulling on the straps of his harness and frowning.

“This thing is so fucking uncomfortable.” He says then looks back and forth between me and Harry and seems to realize he’s interrupted something so he starts to back away, saying, “Sorry, I’m just gonna go over here now.”

Once Niall is gone, Harry hesitantly asks me, “So…are we still on for dinner?”

“Absolutely,” I answer, “Hopefully we’ll get done on time today and I’ll need a shower before we go. Can’t go to dinner with glitter in my hair.” 

He nods and asks, “Are we going someplace fancy or are we just going to McDonald’s?”

I laugh a little. “No, as much as I enjoy a Big Mac, we will _not_ be going to McDonald’s. Actually, I was going to ask you what you’re in the mood for.”

He thinks about it for a moment before answering, “Steak and lobster.”

“Steak and lobster?”

“Yeah, I’m not a cheap date, you know.”

“Okay, we can do that.” I smile at him and he smiles back, making my stomach flutter.

He asks, “What should I wear?”

“Just wear what you usually wear. Wear something comfortable.”

“So…jeans and a Ramones t-shirt?”

“That’s a bit _too_ casual.”

“Well, what are _you_ wearing?”

“Probably some nice trousers and a button up?”

He nods thoughtfully and I can tell he wants to ask me something else but for some reason he’s stopping himself so I ask, “What is it?” 

He smiles at me cautiously then sighs. “It’s nothing.”

Before I can push him on it, the stunt coordinator announces that we’re ready to go so we turn to walk towards the stage but Liam grabs my arm and pulls me back to the side.

“What’s going on?” I ask him and he gives me a serious look.

“Bring him flowers.”

“What?”

“Tonight. Bring him flowers, open his car door, pull his chair out when he goes to sit down at the restaurant.” He explains and I listen intently, “Treat him like a proper date, Louis.”

“Aren’t flowers a bit much? I mean, we’re past that now.”

“No, you’re not. You’re starting from scratch here so you need to go all out. Plus, he deserves it.”

I nod and tell him, “Okay. You’re right.”

“And one more thing,” He moves closer to whisper in my ear, “If you fuck this up because you chicken out again, I will personally kick your ass.”

He pulls away and gives me one more stern look so I say, “I got it. I’ll try not to fuck it up.”

“There is no try, there is only do.” He says in his best Yoda voice and we both laugh.

We walk together out onto the stage and I wonder how I’m supposed to focus on our music video when I can’t stop thinking about my date with Harry tonight. There’s so much I want to tell him; I just hope he’s open to hearing it. 

~ End Chapter Nineteen ~


	20. Say What You Mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave me a comment or give me kudos; it means the world to me! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I hope you like it! :)
> 
> (Thank you to whoever made the pic at the top of the chapter; I'd credit you if I knew who you were!)

[](http://s279.beta.photobucket.com/user/scoobyemo/media/1D/LourryIsLove.png.html)

Louis…

After circling Harry’s block twice, I finally park down the street and watch the small group of teenaged girls who are standing together on the sidewalk in front of his flat, chatting away, giggling and taking pictures of each other in various poses on his steps. I rub my forehead in frustration and try to figure out if there’s a way that I can sneak past them without being seen but I just don’t think it’s possible. Usually I don’t mind seeing our fans and stopping to take pictures or sign autographs, but I’m extremely nervous right now and I’d really rather not deal with it.

I pull my phone out and type a quick text to Harry that says, _“I’m here - don’t suppose you have a back entrance?”_

A few seconds later he replies, _“You’ve seen my back entrance ;)”_

I laugh and shake my head then watch the group of teen girls again until Harry sends another text… _“Drive around to Clarice, there’s an alley between 170 and 180. Let me know when you’re there”_

I start the engine again and drive around the block one more time until I find Clarice then park my car and walk to the entrance of the alley between 170 and 180. I text Harry again, _“In the alley”_

He replies, _“2nd set of stairs on the left, walk up”_

I start to walk down the alley but suddenly remember the flowers in my car so I quickly run back and unlock the passenger side so that I can pull out the huge bouquet of light pink and fuchsia peonies. I jog to the alleyway, hugging the flowers to my chest as I look for the second set of stairs on the left and when I reach them, I look up at the door at the top and feel a whole new wave of nerves washing over me.

As I slowly ascend the stairs, I look down at the bouquet in my arms and mentally curse Liam for convincing me to bring them. Not that flowers aren’t appropriate for a date but…it’s _Harry_. I feel a bit silly bringing him flowers; I just hope he doesn’t laugh in my face when he sees them.

When I reach the top of the stairs I take a few deep breaths then knock on the door and decide to hold the flowers behind my back. A few moments pass before Harry opens the door, looking absolutely stunning as usual, wearing snug black trousers that make his legs look a mile long and a green button up shirt that compliments his gorgeous eyes. I am, once again, rendered speechless by just how beautiful he is.

“Hey,” He says with a small smile and holds the door open a little further, “Welcome to the secret entrance to my flat.”

“Thank you.” I tell him then remember the flowers behind my back so I pull my arm around and hold them out in front of me. “These are for you.”

“You brought me flowers?” He asks with astonishment then takes the bouquet out of my hands and looks at the flowers with wide eyes. “They’re beautiful. Thank you so much.”

He moves towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek then we pull each other in for a hug and I hold him close, wondering how a simple kiss on the cheek can have me reeling, especially considering everything else we’ve done with each other.

“You’re welcome.” I answer quietly into his shoulder.

He looks at the bouquet again, smiling, and says, “Come on in. I’m going to put these in some water.”

I follow him inside and mentally thank Liam for convincing me to bring Harry flowers; if it’s going to earn me a smile like that, I’ll bring him flowers every single day until the end of time.

He leads the way through his spacious yet cozy flat and I look around, impressed. “This is a great place, Harry.”

“Do you like it?” He says as we enter the kitchen and he sets the flowers down on the counter.

“Yeah, I like it a lot. I feel bad that this is the first time I’m seeing it.” 

“Well, you’ve been away. And I just got this place recently, so...” He bends over to search through one of his cabinets for a vase and my eyes immediately travel to his ass, admiring how good it looks in his trousers.

I ask him, “Why did you decide to move out of your old place?”

“Um,” He pulls a vase out and starts to fill it with water, “Thomas and I had just broken up and I…I just felt like the flat I was living in was _our_ place, you know? I mean, we never officially moved in together but he was always there so it was _like_ we lived together. So, anyway, I decided to make a fresh start somewhere new.”

I nod and put my hands in my pockets, desperately trying not to sound too happy when I ask, “You and Tommy broke up?”

He places the flowers into the vase. “Yeah, you didn’t know?”

“I kind of knew. I mean, I’d heard some things. My mum said that she thought you might not be with him anymore but she wasn’t certain. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s just one of those things that…I figured it was just better not to talk about it too much. It’s just sort of better to let it go and move on, you know?” He rearranges a few of the flowers in the vase then stands back and admires the bouquet. “These really are gorgeous.”

“I’m glad you like them.” I tell him then add, “I couldn’t believe how many flowers they had to choose from. I was going to buy roses, but then I remembered you saying once that your mum had a garden and the peonies were your favorites?”

“Yeah, that’s right. The peonies were my favorites.” He smiles at me fondly. “I can’t believe you remember me telling you that.”

I bounce on my feet and give a self satisfied sniff, which makes him laugh. He turns to walk out of the kitchen and says, “C’mon, let’s get going. I’m starving.”

I follow him into the living room and when he grabs his jacket from the rack by the door, I reach out to take it and say, “Here, let me help you with that.”

“Thanks.” He gives me an amused look but I ignore it and straighten out his collar.

He checks his pockets for his keys and his phone before telling me, “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Let’s do it.” I answer and we walk together out of Harry’s flat, using the secret entrance so that we can avoid the crowd out front.

As we approach my car I quicken my step so that I can open the passenger side door and he stops in his place and asks, “Am I driving your car?”

“What? No, I’m…I’m opening your door for you.”

“Oh.” He scrunches his eyebrows and starts to walk to the passenger side. “You are being such a weirdo tonight.”

“How very dare you.” I tell him playfully, “I’m sorry you don’t recognize chivalry when you see it.”

“Oh, is that what this is?” He says with a laugh as he climbs in. Once he’s put his seatbelt on, he smiles up at me and quietly says, “Thank you, Mr. Manners.”

“You’re welcome.” I reply before closing the door then happily jogging to the driver’s side, muttering to myself, “So far, so good.”

~*~

Harry…

I dip another chunk of succulent lobster meat into the melted butter then bring it to my mouth, sighing with pleasure because it tastes so good. I quickly prepare another bite and watch Louis cutting a piece of his steak and a bit of seasoned potato.

After chewing the bite, he tells me, “This was an excellent choice, I must say.”

“I know, right?” I take another bite of lobster then wipe my chin with my napkin when I realize a bit of melted butter has dripped onto it.

Louis reaches for his cheesy french bread and takes a big bite and I laugh when his eyes roll back in his head. He laughs with me and says, “I’m sorry but it’s _so good_.”

“Can I try your bread?” I ask and he nods and holds it out so that I can take a bite.

I moan a little as I chew it because it’s absolutely delicious—somehow moist and crispy at the same time, and I wish I’d ordered some for myself.

“That’s incredible.” I say with my mouth full and he nods and takes another bite.

After swallowing the bread, I eat a bite of steak then follow it with a sip of wine, enjoying the date so much I never want it to end. Not only is the food amazing, Louis and I have been talking and laughing the whole time and I’m reminded of why we became such good friends from the very beginning. Conversation has always been easy between us and we love to make each other laugh, but now that our food has arrived, we’re able to enjoy a comfortable silence as well.

A woman approaches our table and bends down, smiling cautiously when she says, “Excuse me, I hate to bother you when you’re eating but can I get your autograph for my daughter?”

“Of course.” I reply and take the pen out of her hand when she offers it. “What’s your daughter’s name?”

“Chelsea.” She says with a smile then spells it out and I write a little note to Chelsea on the piece of paper the woman sets on the table.

“There you go.” I hand the paper and pen to Louis so that he can sign it.

“Thank you so much,” The woman tells us both, “Chelsea’s a huge fan, she’s going to be so thrilled.”

Louis finishes signing the paper and hands it back to the woman along with her pen, and she thanks us again then walks away so that we can go back to eating our delicious food. We’ve gotten so used to stopping to sign autographs for people that it doesn’t really bother us, but it would be nice to be left alone at least for tonight. 

I take a bite of my spinach salad then offer a bite to Louis but he cringes. I eat the bite myself and tell him, “You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s really good.”

He narrows his eyes for a moment before saying, “Okay, let me try it.”

I smile with satisfaction and give him a bite of the salad, which he chews with a look of disgust then swallows and says, “Yeah, you can keep that.”

“Oh, come on. It’s good!”

“It tastes like grass.” He says then takes a sip of wine and swishes it around in his mouth, I’m assuming to wash down the taste.

“It does not taste like grass.” I say with a laugh then shrug. “That’s okay, more for me.”

As I eat the last of my lobster and salad, the waitress comes to our table and asks, “How is everything?”

“It’s delicious, thank you.” I tell her and Louis nods in agreement.

“Good.” She says with a smile. “Can I get you anything else?”

Louis wipes his mouth with his napkin and says, “Actually, I’d like a cup of hot tea, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course, I’ll bring it right away.” She replies then looks at me with raised eyebrows, “How about you? Can I get you something else?”

“Do you have a dessert menu?” I ask and she nods.

“Yes, I’ll bring you one.” She smiles before turning to walk away.

When I look at Louis again he’s smirking at me so I ask, “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just…I can’t believe you have room for dessert.”

“You’re not getting any?”

“No way; I’m stuffed.” He sits back a little in his chair and pats his stomach as if to prove his point.

“Well, I definitely have room for dessert. They barely fed us at the shoot today and I didn’t eat any breakfast this morning, so…”

Our waitress returns to the table with tea for Louis and a dessert menu for me so I thank her and quickly look at the menu while she waits. I decide that Louis might be right; dessert might put me over the edge from full to uncomfortably full so I tell the waitress, “I’ll just take the raspberry, peach sorbet. Please.”

“Very good,” She takes the menu and hands it to Louis, “And for you?”

“Oh, no,” Louis waves the menu away. “I’m not getting any dessert, but thank you.”

“Okay, I’ll be back again.” The waitress walks away and I watch as Louis stirs some sugar into his tea.

He takes a sip then clears his throat and says, “So, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course. You can ask me anything.”

“What happened between you and Tommy?”

“You mean _Thomas_?” I say with a pointed look. 

“Oh yeah, sorry about that. For the life of me I can’t seem to get it right.” He takes another sip of tea, obviously hiding a smile.

I hesitate briefly because I’m really not sure if he actually wants to hear about Thomas or if he’s just trying to be nice. I finally decide to tell him, “It just didn’t work out between us.”

Sitting forward in his chair, he tells me quietly, “Harry, I want you to know that you can talk to me. About everything. I mean, I know that we…”

Another woman approaches our table and asks for an autograph so we oblige and take a picture with her as well. Louis starts to talk again but the waitress comes back to the table with a bowl of sorbet and sets it down in front of me. She asks, “Will that be all tonight?”

“Oh, um…yeah. Thanks.” I answer and she smiles and sets our bill down then walks away from the table.

I pick up my spoon and dip it into the sorbet, stirring it around a bit. I take a bite and ask Louis, “What were you saying?”

“I just wanted you to know that you can tell me anything. We…I know we’ve had our issues in the past, but we are friends. Before we were anything else, we were friends and we still are.”

“I know that.” I answer and look down at my sorbet, feeling myself deflate because I’d actually been convinced that this was a date, with the flowers and all the ‘chivalry’, but now he’s reminding me that we’re just friends and I feel a bit foolish for getting my hopes up.

Louis continues, “I just feel bad that you didn’t feel like you could tell me that you’d broken up. Or maybe you didn’t want to tell me because you didn’t think I’d care or something, but I do care.” I remain silent, eating my dessert so he says, “Obviously something must’ve happened to make you two break up. So, tell me what happened. With you and Thomas?”

“We didn’t get into a big fight or anything like that. We just…we kind of lost that spark that we had when we first met each other, you know?” I take another bite of sorbet before continuing, “I think we could both tell that we were coming to the end of our relationship; things might’ve turned ugly if we’d stayed together any longer, so it was probably for the best that we ended it when we did.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.” He tells me quietly but I shake my head.

“No, it’s really okay. You know what’s funny is that I was actually kind of relieved. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was a really good guy; he was always good to me and the sex was great but I just never got _that feeling_ , do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I do. Sometimes you can tell after you’ve been with someone for a bit whether or not they’re the kind of person you can see yourself being with for the long haul.”

“Exactly. I mean, I did enjoy my time with Thomas but I think I always knew it was just temporary.” I push my sorbet away because it’s not as good as I was hoping. “You know what’s funny is that he came home from this photo shoot one day and he kept telling me about the other guy in the photo shoot. Like, how hot he was and how they had this great chemistry together, and I knew that I should probably feel jealous but I just _didn’t_. He could’ve told me he’d fucked the guy right there at the photo shoot and I wouldn’t have cared. I realized in that moment that it was over.”

Louis sits forward a little more and says, “Well, I have to admit that I’m glad you’re not with him anymore.”

I furrow my brow. “Why?”

“Because…I was jealous.”

“Jealous.” I say incredulously.

“Mm hmm.” He picks up his tea and takes a few sips and I can’t help but to notice the slight trembling of his hand.

I decide to challenge him, “Why would you be jealous? We’re just friends, right?”

He sets his tea down and stares into my eyes in a way that makes my heart start to pound even faster than it already was. He finally says, “I saw you with him at Simon’s party and I just…I felt sick. To be honest, I feel sick right now just thinking about it.”

I hesitate before saying, “You’re confusing the shit out of me, you know that?” 

Before Louis can respond, the waitress comes to our table to collect the bill so he quickly pulls his wallet out so that he can pay her.

I drink the last of my wine and stand up from the table, telling Louis, “I need to use the loo. I’ll meet you out front?” I don’t wait for his response before I turn to walk to the back of the restaurant where the restrooms are located.

I quickly relieve my bladder and wash my hands, telling myself not to get too upset but it feels impossible to control my emotions at this point. Maybe I’m just misinterpreting what Louis is saying, or maybe I’ve misinterpreted this entire evening. I pull my phone out so that I can call Liam, because I really need to hear his calm, rational voice right now, but just as I’m about to hit the button to ring him, Louis walks into the bathroom and says, “Hey, you ready to go?”

“Yeah.” I put my phone back in my pocket and follow him out, hoping I can get him to tell me what the fuck is going on in his head. I don’t know what kind of game he thinks he’s playing but I really don’t appreciate it.

~*~

Louis…

When we exit the restaurant there are about ten or fifteen people out front, some fans and some paparazzi. The paps immediately start taking pictures of us and asking Harry about Thomas, which really pisses me off but Harry just takes it in stride. He ignores the men with the cameras and instead focuses his attention on the fans, signing autographs and taking pictures with them.

I follow suit and sign autographs for two hyperactive girls who are practically vibrating with excitement. I smile for a few pictures as well then move closer to Harry so that I can try to maneuver him towards my car, which is parked down the street from the restaurant.

At times like this I really wish one of our security team were with us because they’re excellent at moving us through a crowd quickly and efficiently; if I grabbed Harry right now and tried to shove my way through the crowd with him I’d just look like a douchebag and TMZ would probably report that I was mean and abusive to our fans.

Harry takes a few more pictures and hugs one girl who’s crying then starts to follow me towards the car and unfortunately the crowd follows us. I keep a hand on Harry’s back and unlock the passenger side door for him, trying to ignore the flashing lights of the cameras and the screams of “I love you!” coming from the girls.

Harry climbs into the car and I walk around to the driver’s side, waving to the crowd and saying, “Alright, we’ve got to get going. Have a good night, everyone!” 

I climb in and start the car but the crowd quickly surrounds us so it takes me a few minutes to pull away from the curb because I have to keep rolling my window down and telling them to back away from the car so I won’t run over their toes.

When we’re finally a safe distance away from the restaurant I sigh with relief and tell Harry, “Shit, that’s frustrating. I was so afraid I was going to hurt someone.” He doesn’t answer so I add, “Sometimes I forget that we can’t just go to dinner anymore.”

“Yeah, it gets pretty crazy. You did well, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm hmmm.”

I laugh a little and say, “Well, I didn’t lose my temper and I didn’t run anyone over. I guess that’s a success.” 

He reaches out to turn the radio on and flips through the channels for a while then seems to change his mind and turns it off. Something about his demeanor is different since we left the restaurant, like he’s suddenly tense about something, so I look over at him and ask, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” He replies and hesitates briefly before saying, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Was this a date? Like, a real date?”

I smile, “You mean, you couldn’t tell from the flowers and me pulling out your chair and all that?”

“Well, I thought that it was a date but then you seemed to want to remind me that we’re just friends, and I…I just don’t understand what you want from me.”

I hear the way that his voice catches and I really wish I weren’t driving because I want to be able to look him in the eyes and explain myself because I’ve clearly fucked up somehow and I need to make things right. I quietly tell him, “I wasn’t trying to say that we’re _only_ friends, or that that’s all I _want_ to be. I was just saying that no matter what we’ve been through, we’ve always been able to stay friends. That’s…I’m…I’m just so glad that you are the way that you are and you didn’t, like, completely write me off after…after the way that I acted, and…” I shake my head and sigh, “Jesus, why am I so fucking bad at this?”

I finally pull up in front of his flat and see that the crowd of teenage girls that were there earlier are now gone so I park my car and turn the engine off then turn to face him. Taking his hand, I say, “Can we go upstairs and talk? Please?”

He looks down at our joined hands and nods. In barely a whisper he tells me, “Yeah, we can do that.”

~*~

Harry…

Once we’re in my flat I walk into the living room and sit down on the sofa and Louis sits down next to me, looking so nervous I instinctively want to comfort him but I stifle the urge. Instead I clasp my hands in front of me and say, “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“I wanted to say…” He swallows a couple of times and asks, “Actually, can I get some water? My mouth is so dry right now.”

I almost roll my eyes because it’s just like him to try and stall rather than just being honest with me. I stand up from the couch and walk into the kitchen so that I can grab him a bottle of water from the fridge, feeling myself getting more and more frustrated. 

When I turn around Louis is standing in the doorway so I hand him the water and he takes a few big sips before putting the cap back on. He smiles and says, “Thank you. There’s nothing like nice, cold water to quench your thirst, am I right?”

I slowly walk to the sink and lean against the counter with my arms crossed, willing myself not to say something rude.

He laughs nervously and says, “You know, they say that tap water has all kinds of parasites but we used to drink water from the tap all the time when we were kids and we turned out fine. But still, I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry. I mean—”

“Hey, do me a favor, Louis? Please stop fucking with me.”

His smile fades and he takes a few steps forward. “I’m not fucking with you, I promise.”

“Well then, like you once said to me…I’m not a bloody mind reader, so if you have something to tell me then do it. And say what you mean; don’t dick me around any more because I really can’t take it.”

“Okay, I promise I’ll be completely honest.” He sets his water bottle down on the table and says, “The first thing that I want to tell you is that I love you. And I don’t mean I love you like I love the other guys in the group. I don’t mean the kind of ‘I love you’ that we say at the end of a tour, when we’re patting each other on the back for a job well done.”

He steps even closer and reaches out to gently pull my arms so I uncross them and he takes my hand. “I mean I _love_ you; I think I’ve loved you since you were sixteen and still had baby fat.”

I huff out a laugh and look at my stomach, which is now flat, and remember how Louis used to tell me I was his favorite person to snuggle with because I was extra cushiony and warm. Thinking back on it, I probably should’ve been offended but I always knew he meant it as a compliment. (Besides, our snuggling turned into much more very quickly and that’s all my hormone driven, sixteen year-old self wanted anyway.)

He tilts my chin up so that I’ll look him in the eyes again and says, “I love everything about you. I love how crazy your hair looks in the morning, I love your big feet, I love how you tell _the dumbest_ jokes. I love…that you laugh way too loud sometimes and then get embarrassed and cover your mouth. I love your beautiful eyes and quirky taste in music. I love how fucking brave you’ve always been.”

My eyes are brimming with tears now and I smile and tell him quietly, “Please, don’t stop now.”

He laughs a little and takes my other hand. “I love your tattoos, even the bad ones. I love that you take care of everyone and you want to help people, not for publicity or so that you’ll look like a hero but because you _genuinely care_. I love your smile. I love your nipples, all four of them.”

This makes me laugh out loud then I cover my mouth with embarrassment but he takes my hand and holds it again. Fighting back tears of his own, he tells me, “You take my breath away, Harry. I…I want to spend every single day with you because whenever anything happens in my life, whether it’s good or bad, you’re the first person I want to share it with. And I know…I know I probably don’t even deserve you, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to—”

“Okay, you can shut up now.” I smile through my tears and wrap my arms around him, my emotions overflowing. We hold each other close and he feels so good in my arms that I try to pull him even closer, running my hands over his back as I cry into his shoulder.

When I pull back a little, I see that he’s crying too so I wipe his cheeks and press our foreheads together, whispering, “It’s always been you. You’re it for me; I’m absolutely, totally and completely gone over you. I tried to move on because I thought you didn’t want me, but…” I shrug, “You’ve always been the one.”

He holds my face and kisses me somewhat frantically, as if he's unable to wait any longer, and I wrap my arms around his waist and tilt my head for a deeper kiss, feeling like I still can’t pull him close enough to satisfy me.

After a few deliciously heated kisses, I regretfully pull my mouth away from his and say, “Wait, wait. I have some conditions.”

“Conditions?”

“Yeah,” I swallow hard and try to catch my breath then tell him matter-of-factly, “I won’t hide who I am. I just won’t do it. I won’t be your lover behind closed doors and pretend we’re _just friends_ when we’re out in public.”

“I don’t want that either.” He replies sincerely, “I mean, I’m scared shitless, don’t get me wrong. But…I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

I kiss him again before saying, “And I want you to take me to Paris.”

“Paris?”

“Yes, Paris. Just the two of us on holiday. I want to go for five days and I want to stay in a ridiculously gaudy hotel room, and I want you to take me to all the cheesy tourist sites and make love to me every single day in every position we can think of.”

“Well, that sounds like my kind of holiday.” He says with a laugh then pulls me in for another kiss. He slides his hands down to my ass and I moan into his mouth and push my groin into his, already half-hard and ready to get naked.

He pulls his mouth away and breathlessly says, “I think we should start practicing now. For our trip to Paris. You know, build up our stamina and all that?”

I smile. “Practice makes perfect, right?”

“Absolutely.” He gasps out and buries his fingers in my hair, pulling me to him for another deep kiss and I push myself away from the counter and try to guide us to my bedroom as carefully as possible, never pulling my mouth away from his.

I’ve dreamt of our reunion at least a million times, hoping someday my dream would become a reality. Now that I’ve got him in my arms, I plan on enjoying every second of it.

~ End Chapter Twenty ~


	21. Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long with this chapter! I truly feel awful for the delay, I just couldn't seem to get my muse to cooperate. :(
> 
> Thank you to all of you who have given me encouraging comments and stuck with me, I'm so grateful! ♥
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter...

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/user/scoobyemo/media/Beautiful%20People/5545297d-459d-4e89-84bf-0439dd46909a_zps2ffa6a87.jpg.html)

Louis…

I awaken with my nose buried in Harry’s hair, the sound of his snoring permeating the room and the corners of my mouth immediately turn up in a smile. I’ve missed this feeling so much; waking up next to him, pressed against his back, our bodies slotted together so perfectly. (I’ve even missed his snoring!)

As content as I am to lay here wrapped around his warm body, my bladder is begging to be emptied so I gently pull my arms from around Harry’s waist and slip out of the bed so that I can use the loo. Once I’ve finished I walk back into the bedroom and stand a few feet from the bed to watch him sleeping; he’s turned onto his belly now with one arm tucked under his pillow and one arm stretched out across my side of the bed, as if he’d been searching for me in his sleep.

His long, slender naked body is incredibly enticing so I step forward and sit on the edge of the bed then reach out to touch him, slowly sliding my fingertips over the swell of his ass and up his back then down the tattoos on his bicep, captivated by how beautiful he looks in the light of the moon shining in through the window. 

He flinches in his sleep so I pull my fingers away, not wanting to wake him then glance at the clock and see that it’s only half-three in the morning. I know I should crawl back into bed for a few more hours of sleep, but I’m feeling restless; now that I’ve pushed the metaphorical closet door open just a crack, I’d love to say that I’m ready to push it the rest of the way open and run out, rainbow streamers flowing behind me and everything! But the truth is that I’m still anxious about what people will have to say and how everyone will react.

The thought of not having to hide any longer, of not having to watch what I say or how I act around Harry is so liberating but also really scary. As much as I want everyone to know the truth about who I am, it’s also incredibly daunting to think about actually _saying_ the words. I suppose a mass text wouldn’t go over very well, as tempting as the idea is.

I don’t even want to think about what the media is going to say. Not to mention every single interview we have from here on out will be filled with meddlesome, and inevitably _inappropriate_ questions. The more I think about it the more I feel anxiety bubbling up inside of me so I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes, trying to calm my thoughts. I’d really love to be able to talk to someone I can trust right now so I decide to text the one person who might actually be awake at this hour—my mother. 

I quickly search for my things in the dark—my CK briefs, my phone and a pair of Harry’s socks to keep my feet warm, then quietly walk into the kitchen and find the switch for the light above the sink. After I’ve pulled on my underwear and Harry’s socks, I send a quick text to my mum that simply says, “Call me if ur awake”, then set my phone down on the table and open the refrigerator to see if there’s something I can snack on while I wait for a response.

I decide to pour myself a glass of juice then look through the cupboards until I find a box of crackers and sit at the kitchen table to eat my snack, thinking of the previous evening. 

I’d love to say that our reunification love making was long and drawn out but the truth is that we were both so happy to get each other naked again that it was all a bit frantic and lasted only a few minutes. (Albeit an incredibly intense and pleasurable few minutes, but still…not my best showing!)

After that we rested awhile, lazily draped around each other, talking and kissing until we were both ready for another round, this time much slower, starting in the shower and moving back to the bedroom again. It’s something I know I’ll relive in my head many times…Harry underneath me, still somewhat wet from the shower, his fingers digging into my back and his long legs wrapped around me, pulling me closer and urging me to thrust into him faster.

Sex has always been great between us but now we seem to have taken it to new heights and I know it’s partially due to our absence from each other and partially due to the fact that I’ve finally let go of any reservations and allowed myself to admit my love for him. As ridiculously soppy as this may sound, it’s no longer just sex, we truly are making love to each other now and I’ve never felt anything like it.

My phone finally rings and I quickly answer it so that it won’t wake Harry.

“Hi mum.”

“Hi, honey. Are you okay?” She asks with concern.

“Yeah, sorry if I worried you. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, I’m on night shift tonight.” 

“Oh. Is it busy? We can talk later if you’re—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s actually pretty slow tonight.” She explains then asks, “So, everything’s okay?”

“Everything is wonderful.” I smile and run my finger along the rim of my glass. “I have something I wanted to tell you and it couldn’t really wait.”

“Okay.” She says cautiously.

I briefly think about teasing her, or at the very least making her guess, but in the end I decide I just can’t wait to tell her so I blurt out, “Harry and I are together. We’re _together_ together.”

“You are?” She gasps with delight in her voice.

“Mm hmm.”

“That’s so wonderful! I figured since you didn’t come home, things must've gone well. You worked everything out, then?”

“Yeah, I took him out to dinner and we talked afterward. I just sort of…laid it all out there, told him how I feel about him.”

“See, I knew it would work out if you just talked to him.” She says then I hear another voice in the background, one of the other nurses asking a question and my mother takes a moment to answer it.

When she comes back on the line I tell her, “I wish you would quit that job. I told you I’d support you, I’ve got the money.”

“I appreciate that, I really do. But I don’t want to live off of your money, it just wouldn’t feel right. Plus, I _like_ working at the hospital. It makes me feel like I’m doing some good in the world.”

“I guess I can understand that.” I take a moment before saying, “So…you’re okay with all of this? Me and Harry being together, I mean.”

“I can’t believe you’d even ask me that. _Of course_ I’m okay with it. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. Are you happy with Harry?”

“I am happy.” I answer, immediately becoming emotional when I realize just how true that statement is. “I’m unbelievably happy.”

“That’s all that matters.” She tells me and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"I feel like I've been hiding for so long, it's exhausting. I don't want to do it anymore; I don't want to have to hide the way I feel about him."

“You shouldn't have to.” She says in a sympathetic tone, “So, you’re going to go public with your relationship?”

“Yeah, we are. Harry pretty much told me he won’t have it any other way.” 

“I think that’s best. I don’t want you to have to sneak around or think you need to find ways to lie.”

“Exactly. Plus, I feel like I’m ready. I mean, I’m still scared of what people will think but I feel like I’m finally ready.”

“Who cares what people think.”

“I know, but...people can be incredibly cruel, and I don’t want our relationship to become fodder for people’s jokes.”

“I’m afraid that’s going to happen no matter what. There are always going to be people out there who’ll feel like they need to judge you and say awful things; you’ve already experienced that. But there are also a lot of people who will support you and stand behind you. I think you’ll be surprised at how many of your fans will support the two of you being together.”

“I suppose you’re right.” I say quietly.

“Those are the people that matter, Louis. _Those_ are the ones you focus on and listen to. Not those other idiots who have nothing better to do than to put people down.”

“Damn, you’re really good at this whole pep talk thing, you know that?” I say and she chuckles.

“I am pretty passionate when it comes to certain things, especially my children. I just hope you’ll listen to me.”

“I am listening, I promise.” I tell her and my eyes shift up when I see that Harry has awakened and is standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a tiny pair of boxer-briefs and a sleepy expression.

“Good,” My mother continues, “You’re the one who has to live your life so you have to do what’s going to make you happy. You know you’ll always have my support, and your sisters worship the ground you walk on.”

Harry approaches me, slowly running a hand along my bare shoulders and I lean into his touch when he wraps his arms around me, bending down and pressing a kiss to my cheek and then my neck.

I tell my mum, “Harry’s just woken up so I’ll go ahead and let you go now.”

“Ohhh,” She teases, “Say hello to your boyfriend for me, won't you?”

“I will.” I say, a huge smile taking over my face because for the first time tonight it actually hits me...Harry is my _boyfriend_. 

“Okay, well, I guess I'll get back to work.” Mum says, “Promise you’ll bring Harry by soon. I’m sure the girls would love to see him.”

“I will.”

“By the way, do you want me to tell them? About you and Harry?”

Harry pulls away and saunters over to the refrigerator and I immediately miss the feel of his arms around me.

“I can tell them when we come over.” I say as I watch him pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge and taking a long drink from it.

“Okay. Don’t wait too long, though; you know I’m terrible at keeping secrets.”

“I won’t wait long. Talk to you again soon.”

“Louis?" She says quietly, her voice thick with emotion. "I’m so proud of you. I truly am.”

“Thanks mum." I smile and swallow down the lump in my throat. "That means a lot to me. I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart. Bye.”

“Bye.” I end the call and set my phone on the table then stand up and walk to where Harry is leaning against the counter, the dim light glowing behind him, making him look angelic.

“Hi boyfriend.” I whisper with a smile and he places his water bottle on the counter and pulls me to him, smiling back.

“Mmm, boyfriend. I like the sound of that.” He says before tilting my head up and kissing me softly then whispers, “Say it again.”

“Boyfriend,” I repeat as I melt against him, wrapping my arms around his waist, “ _My_ boyfriend.”

“That sounds so fuckin’ amazing.” He kisses me again, long and deep, then presses his forehead to mine, “Say it one more time?”

I laugh a little and kiss my way down his neck as I whisper, “Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend.”

He sighs and wraps his arms around my shoulders and I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his neck and close my eyes, enjoying this perfect moment in Harry’s quiet, dark kitchen.

His lips ghost over my ear, making me shiver, and he whispers, “I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation with your mother.”

“It’s okay, we were pretty much done. She’s on night shift so she couldn’t talk long anyway. She says hi, by the way.”

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s good. She’s doing really well.”

After a few moments he says, “So, did you…did you tell her anything in particular?”

I smile and look up at him, resting my hands on his sides. “I told her that you and I are together.”

“And what did she say?”

“She’s happy for us.”

“Yeah?”

I nod. “She wants me to bring you by the house for a visit. I can tell my sisters when we go over, I think they’ll be thrilled; they've always loved you.” I lift up to stand on my tiptoes and ask, "Damn, why do you have to be so bloody tall?"

He doesn't answer, simply smiles down at me before tipping my head back for another long kiss. When the kiss ends I rest my head on his chest again and sigh contentedly. “This is nice. I’m going to remember this moment.”

He runs his hands over my back for a while, slow and comforting, before quietly saying, “I’m going to eat some cereal. You want some?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.” I regretfully pull away from him so that he can grab a bowl from one of the cupboards. I ask with amusement, “Let me guess, Corn Flakes?”

He smiles and opens the pantry to pull out the box of Corn Flakes from the top shelf then starts to pour them into the bowl as he replies, “They’re my favorite.”

“I know. You always insist on having them on the tour bus and backstage.”

“Although I did go through a Corn Pop phase for a while there.” He pours some milk over the top of the cereal. “Too bad they don’t sell them here in England.”

“They are really good.” I say, making a mental note to order some Corn Pops for him online.

Once his cereal is ready I pick up my box of crackers and glass of juice from the table and we walk together to the living room then place our food on the coffee table so that we can get situated on the couch, sitting next to each other and pulling a blanket up to cover us both.

I shove a cracker into my mouth and pick up the remote control so I can turn on the television and as I’m flipping through the channels, Harry digs into his cereal and props his feet up on the coffee table.

When I come across Fast and Furious 6, I set the remote down but Harry shakes his head and whines, “I don’t want to watch this.”

“No? But it’s _cars_ , Harold. You love cars.”

“I do love cars.” He says contemplatively.

“And hot guys, what more could you want?”

“What hot guys? Vin Diesel? No, thank you.” He takes another bite of cereal and I pick up another cracker and nibble the corner of it as I watch Vin Diesel marching around on screen with his muscles bulging out of his black, sleeveless shirt.

I finally say, “I don’t know, I think he’s kinda sexy, in a beefcake sort of way.”

“You can have Vin Diesel and I’ll take Paul Walker.”

“Ohh, Paul Walker. Now we’re talkin’.” I reply, nodding. "And I think Dwayne Johnson is in this one, too."

"Who the heck is that?"

"You know, _The Rock_." I wiggle my eyebrows at him and he laughs.

“Okay, so I guess we _can_ watch this.”

We watch the movie for a while, adding our own commentary when we feel the need, and when Harry’s done with his cereal he places the empty bowl on the coffee table and snuggles closer to me so I wrap my arm around him, resting my head on top of his as we settle into my corner of the couch.

I tell him, “This coming week should be pretty crazy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just with the whole ‘coming out’ thing, you know?”

“I’m already pretty much out, so…” He smirks up at me so I give his head a playful tap.

“I _meant_ us coming out as a couple.”

He nods a little. “Well, we don't have to make a big announcement or anything like that if you don't want to. We could just sort of…go about our business and let people figure it out for themselves.”

“You don’t think we should take an ad out in the paper?”

“If this were nineteen sixty-five, then maybe.” He says and I laugh.

“You mean, people don’t read the newspaper anymore?”

“No, but there’s a thing called the internet, perhaps you’ve heard of it?”

“The in-ter-net?” I say very slowly. “What is this internet that you speak of?”

He waits for a moment then reaches for the remote control and says, “Let’s turn this thing off.” After turning the television off, he turns his body so that he can see me better, pulling one leg up onto the couch and telling me, “In all seriousness, I think for now we should just tell our friends and families and we’ll…we’ll work the rest out later. How does that sound.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I answer with a nod.

“We can have the guys come over tomorrow. Or…today, I guess,” He says after glancing at the clock and seeing that tomorrow is already here, “I’ll tell them to come over for brunch or something and we can tell them once they get here.”

“I know that Liam is probably chomping at the bit to know how our date went.”

“Yeah, I haven’t checked my phone since dinner but I can imagine how many messages he’s probably sent. He’s been our biggest cheerleader, you know.”

“I know, he’s been incredible. How do you think Niall and Zayn will take it?”

“Actually, I know Niall will be okay with it.” He says and I look at him curiously so he explains, “I um, I kind of told him I was in love with you already. A long time ago. In Vegas, that night that I got really drunk?”

“The night you went skinny dipping and had to be carried because you couldn’t walk?”

“That’s the night.”

“And what did he say? Or do you remember?”

“I remember. He was great about it.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm hmm. He was really supportive. And he told me yesterday that I should clean my nooks and crannies for our date, just in case things went well.” He replies and we both laugh.

“Well, I have something to confess." I say a bit sheepishly, "I told all of them that I had feelings for you.”

His eyes widen. “You did? When was this?”

“After Simon Cowell’s dinner party, remember how you went home with Tommy?” He gives me a look so I quickly correct myself, “Thomas, sorry. And I went to Zayn’s place with Niall and Liam?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“I was…I was kind of struggling with jealousy.” I reach out to run my fingers through his hair and he leans into my touch. “I can’t even tell you how sick I felt after seeing you with Thomas. I mean, I was glad that you seemed happy but…I couldn’t stand seeing you with him.”

“You really were jealous? Aww,” He kisses my wrist and smiles, “My plan worked, then.”

“It definitely worked.” I laugh a little. “So anyway, I guess I was sulking so Liam decided to have a little talk with me. He convinced me to tell Zayn and Niall what was going on.”

“How much did you tell them?”

“Um…” I look down at my lap, afraid he might be angry. “I kind of told them everything.”

“Everything?” His voice goes up an octave, “What do you mean everything?”

“I guess not _everything_ everything.” I look him in the eyes again. “I told them you and I used to fool around a bit.”

He snorts. “Talk about an understatement.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to freak them out by going into detail.” I give him a wink. “Then I told them you said you were in love with me and it completely freaked me out and…and I acted like a knob and told you we couldn’t be together. But then I realized I’d probably made a mistake because seeing you with _him_ made me see that I might actually have feelings for you after all.”

“I see.” He says with a sigh and sinks against the back of the couch.

“Are you mad?”

“No, I’m just thinking.”

“I wasn’t trying to betray your trust or anything by telling them. I just needed someone to talk to, love.”

“I’m not mad, I promise.” He smiles to reassure me then adds, “I’m just surprised they were able to stay quiet about this. The fact that they knew, I mean.”

“Yeah, I asked them not to say anything.” I explain, “They all wanted to help me. You know, win you back or whatever. But I didn’t feel right doing that, since you were with Thomas and you seemed happy with him. It just didn’t seem right to, like, try to break you up. Especially because I…” 

I stop talking and shrug so Harry asks, “You what?”

“I was still being a coward.” I brush my fingers against his cheek. “I’m not nearly as brave as you are.”

“I disagree.” He tells me, taking my hand in his and linking our fingers. “I think you’re braver than you give yourself credit for. You’re always the first to stand up for any of your friends, and whenever anyone tries to mess with your family you immediately put a stop to it.”

“I do speak my mind if people try to fuck with my friends and family.”

“Exactly. And look at all the work you’ve been doing so that you can start a foundation to help people, and going off to different countries on your own to do volunteer work? That’s very brave.”

“You think?”

“ _Yes_ , Lou.”

“I guess so.” I reply then hold up our joined hands and say, “I guess this is the only area where I haven’t been brave.”

“Well, you’re going to change that now.” He replies quietly, “And if you’re ever feeling nervous about it, just take my hand and we’ll be brave together. Okay?”

“Okay.” I press a kiss to the back of his hand before asking, “How did you get to be so amazing?”

He shrugs one shoulder and gives me a cheeky smile. “I guess I’m alright.”

“Please, you’re incredible and you know it.” I pull him closer and whisper, “C’mere.”

He moves the blanket out of the way and climbs onto my lap, straddling my thighs and I feel the warmth of his firm ass grinding against my crotch, making my cock twitch and my hips move up of their own accord. He holds my face and tilts my head back for a long, wet kiss and I wrap one arm around his waist then slide my other hand up his stomach, feeling the muscles tighten under my touch.

I kiss along his neck, suddenly having a flashback to a time somewhere in Canada very similar to this. The only difference is that now he’s my _boyfriend_ , which means I don’t have to worry that I might give him a hickey so I immediately latch onto his neck and suck in earnest as I work one of his nipples between my fingers, causing him to whimper and grind his hips a little faster.

I move down to suck on his nipples, lavishing each of them equally then I pull back to look at him, smiling when I see that he’s breathless and his skin is flushed, his nipples hard and wet from my attention.

I lick my lips and tell him, “You look…unbelievably sexy.”

“So do you.” He leans forward for another deep kiss before saying, “I don’t know about you but I’m ready for round four.”

“Round four?” I furrow my brow. “You mean round three; we’ve done it twice tonight.”

He shakes his head and runs his fingers through my hair. “We did it in the bed, then in the shower and then back to the bed again.”

“Ahh, see I was counting the shower and second time in bed as one.” I lean forward to kiss his collarbone. “Because we didn’t really stop in between, you know?”

“Well, I came all three times so I’m counting it as three.”

“I guess you’re right.” I stroke his bulge through his underwear then look down as I lower the waistband until the tip of his dick is poking out, already flushed red and wet with pre-cum.

I circle it with my thumb then look up at him as I bring my thumb to my mouth, sucking it all the way in and making him gasp out, “Jesus, that is so fuckin' hot.”

He tugs my hand away and pulls my head towards him so that he can kiss me again, filthy and wet, and I shift him around, lowering him down onto his back on the other end of the couch then position myself between his spread legs, still kissing him as I grind my crotch into his.

I kiss my way down his body, sucking on each of his nipples one more time before tracing his butterfly tattoo with my tongue then moving further down to lick below his bellybutton and laughing when he pushes the top of my head down.

“I’m getting there, love.” I tell him with a smile and he laughs.

“Sorry, I’m just really hard.” He hooks his thumbs into his underwear and starts to pull them down but I push his hands away and move my body down so that my head is between his legs.

I stroke his cock through his underwear then bring my mouth to the material and blow a puff of hot air, making him hiss with pleasure and look down at me through half-lidded eyes. Not quite done teasing him, I decide to mouth his balls while lightly brushing my fingers along his erection through his underwear and he pushes his hips up and reaches down to run his fingers through my hair.

Finally, I take mercy and slowly pull his underwear down as I whisper, “Let’s take these off, shall we?”

He nods and lifts his hips up so that I can pull them all the way off then I toss them aside, not caring where they land. He reaches down to wrap his fingers around his cock and I simply watch for a minute, placing gentle kisses along his inner thighs while he strokes himself. When he points his dick in the direction of my mouth, I happily open up and take him inside, sucking him all the way down in long, slow strokes, eliciting moans of pleasure that radiate all the way through my body. 

My own cock is almost painfully hard now so I thrust my hips into the couch, rubbing myself against the soft material of my underwear. Harry looks down at me with a pleasure-filled grin as he continues to run his fingers through my hair and I slide my hand up his stomach to his chest and roll one of his nipples between my fingers.

“Okay,” He tells me, “I need to go get a condom because I’m _really_ ready.”

“You want me to go get one?” I ask, sitting up when he starts to get up from the couch.

“No, I’ll go. You stay here and make yourself comfortable because you’re about to get it good.”

He smiles at me as he walks out of the living room and I stand up to pull my underwear off then grab the blanket and spread it out to cover as much of the couch as possible then lay down and stroke myself lazily as I wait for him to come back.

A minute passes and he finally comes back, placing a condom and tube of KY Jelly on the coffee table then laughs as he points to my feet and says, “You leaving your socks on?”

“My feet are cold.” I stretch my toe out to nudge him in the leg playfully but he grabs my foot and crawls onto the couch between my legs, pushing on the back of my thighs to spread me open further then shimmies closer so that he’s in position to fuck me.

He reaches for the condom packet then tears it open with his teeth and I lick my lips as I watch him sliding it onto his erection. Next he grabs the lube and squirts some onto two of his fingers and my breath quickens in anticipation as he brings his hand between my legs, circling my hole a few times then pushes a finger inside.

I rest one foot on the back of the couch while he hooks my other leg up onto his shoulder, slowly stroking my thigh while he pushes another finger inside me to join the first. I enjoy the sensation of his long fingers pushing into me, stretching me until I'm writhing with need and I tell him, "I'm ready."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm still pretty open from when we did it in the shower.

"Okay." He replies barely audibly and scoots forward a little further, tugging his cock a few more times, making sure the condom is secure before placing the tip at my entrance.

I close my eyes at the first push inside then look at him again when he starts to thrust into me slowly; he looks so beautiful, pleasure etched on his face and the muscles in his stomach and arms defined with every movement.

He pulls my other leg up onto his shoulder and leans forward, bending me practically in half and I can't help the moan that escapes me when the new angle causes his cock to brush against my prostate.

"That's it," I gasp out, running my hands along his arms and shoulders, "Right there, love."

I relax against the couch, lost in how good he feels inside me, the sounds of our heavy breathing filling the room, and realize how very lucky I am and what a fool I was to think I could ever find someone who makes me feel even remotely close to what I feel right now.

His curls fall into his face so I lower my legs from his shoulders and pull him down to kiss me, running my fingers through his hair and whispering embarrassingly soppy words of love in between kisses.

When his legs start to shake from exertion, he moves back so that he can sit up on the couch, pulling me up to sit on his lap, straddling him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and take a moment to shift on my knees until I find a comfortable position then reach back to guide him back inside me and start to move up and down at a steady pace while he places wet kisses along my neck.

My cock brushes against our bellies with every movement and when his mouth latches onto one of my nipples, I moan and throw my head back, pure pleasure washing over me. I reach a hand down to curl my fingers around my cock and start to stroke myself as I continue to grind down on Harry's lap, and after a few muttered curse words I stop moving my hips and bring my mouth to his for a filthy kiss as I squeeze my orgasm out between our bodies.

Stomach still shaking, I move my mouth down to kiss his shoulder and wrap both arms around him, hugging him tightly as he starts to thrust up into me again. His skin is deliciously warm and sweaty, his big hands holding firmly to my ass and when his orgasm hits, he moans into my neck and slides his hands up to my back as he thrusts his hips away from the couch, pushing into me a few more times, enjoying the last moments of post-coital bliss.

We bring our mouths together again and kiss lazily for a moment until I push his hair away from his face and mutter, "I definitely think we're going to need another shower." I look down to his butterfly tattoo, which is basically covered in the aftermath of my orgasm and I have to laugh. "I'm afraid your butterfly has taken quite a beating."

He looks down as well and smiles. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've never been stickier."

"We're pretty disgusting."

"I don't know how we can stand to be around us."

We kiss again, not quite ready to move, then Harry looks up at me and whispers, "I love you."

I hold his face, looking him in the eyes as I reply quietly, "I love you, too. So very much."

It took me such a long time to get to the point where I can admit that, but now...words have never been easier for me to say.

~ End Chapter 21 ~


	22. Domesticity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies once again for taking such a ridiculously long time to update! I'm so sorry. :( 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and leaving kudos, I appreciate it so much! I hope you enjoy the chapter. ♥

6:53 A.M.

Louis...

"Do you want to have children?" Harry asks and my eyes go wide. 

We're lying on his bed, his long limbs draped across my body while I lay on my back. I've been lingering somewhere between sleep and wakefulness since we took our shower together, just enjoying the solid warmth of his body against mine and feeling so incredibly content. I thought that he'd been sleeping but now I can see that clearly he's awake. And thinking about children for some reason.

Finally, I clear my throat and answer quietly, "Children? Not at this very moment; maybe after we've had some decent breakfast." 

He laughs and shakes his head. "Not _now_. Sorry, I know it's probably too early but I was just thinking. I mean, do you want children in the future. Like, maybe five or six years from now or something."

"Yeah, I definitely want children someday." I gently run my fingers over the back of his hand then up his arm. "But you have to birth them because I am _not_ about to ruin my girlish figure."

"I would gladly have your babies, if only that were possible."

"You would?" I ask, tilting my head a little so I can see him better.

He nods. "Absolutely."

"That is by far the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." I tell him sincerely then lean in to kiss him. When I pull back I whisper, "We could always hire a surrogate? I mean, when the time comes."

"We could, yeah." He runs his fingertip over my collarbones, lost in thought for a moment. "You know what would be great? If we could use my sister as a surrogate. That way the baby would have both of our DNA, you know?"

"I hate to tell you this, love, but your sister isn't very fond of me so I doubt she's going to let me fuck her."

"As if I'd let you fuck her!" He answers, sounding absolutely horrified and I have to laugh.

"Well, how am I supposed to put a baby in her?"

"I don't know, with a turkey baster or sommat! But don't think for a second that I'm going to let you put your dick in her!"

"So, it's okay for me to put it in _you_ but not in her?"

"Exactly. I'd never be able to look it in the eye again."

I snort and say, "You'd never be able to look my dick in the eye?"

He nods, smiling at me and looking so fucking adorable I never want to stop snogging him so I place my hand on his cheek and tilt my head for a deep kiss, chuckling as I pull away. 

"We'll figure something out, love." I say, still laughing. "Should we maybe include your sister in this conversation? Before we make any further plans for her uterus?"

He lays his head on my chest, his curls tickling my neck. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

I slide my fingers up his arm again and kiss the top of his head then close my eyes so that I can try to get a little more sleep, knowing it's way too early to think about having children. But still...I can't help smiling as I imagine adorable babies with curly brown hair, big blue eyes, and dimples that melt my heart.

~*~

10:45 A.M.

Harry...

"Do you remember our first kiss?" Louis asks me from his place on the sofa while I stand at the kitchen counter buttering two pieces of toast.

"Of course I remember." I answer then open the fridge and ask, "Do you want jam?"

"Um...yeah, maybe a little strawberry?"

"Okay." I nod and pull out the jar of strawberry jam then spread a little on both pieces of toast.

After pouring two glasses of juice, I carefully carry them into the living room, handing one to Louis and placing the other glass on the coffee table before heading back into the kitchen for the plate of toast and a banana.

When I walk back into the living room, Louis is looking at the juice curiously. He asks, "You don't have any tea?"

"I'm out, sorry. Try the juice, it's really good."

"Yeah, I had some last night. It's not bad." He takes a sip then places the glass on the coffee table. "We should go shopping. You really need better snacks, Harold. And don't you know it's your duty as an Englishman to keep tea in stock at all times?" He smirks at me and turns his body sideways so that our legs are intertwined.

"I'm so sorry my supplies aren't up to your standards, Boo Bear." I answer with a smirk of my own then take a bite of my toast.

After a moment, Louis asks, "Do you really remember?"

"Remember what?"

"The first time we kissed."

"Yeah, it was when we were in X-Factor Bootcamp."

He takes a big bite of toast and says with his mouth full, "Tell me about it."

"Tell you about what?"

"The kiss."

"You were there. You know what happened." I say a bit incredulously, playfully nudging his knee with mine.

"I know, but I want to hear you tell your side of it." He smiles seductively and nudges back.

I nibble on a corner of my toast then reach for my banana and start to peel it, trying to buy myself a little time because the truth is that I don't exactly remember our very first kiss; there was so much going on at that time and Louis and I were kind of all over each other from the moment we met, so trying to pinpoint our _exact_ first kiss...I'm afraid I just can't.

"Oh God," Louis says, his smile fading, "you don't remember, do you?"

"I do!" I give him my most charming smile and wait a moment before admitting, "Okay, I don't remember _exactly_."

"Unbelievable!"

"I'm sorry but that was a hectic time. We kissed and hugged _a lot_ back then, Lou, so I'm sorry if I can't remember the first kiss exactly." I take a big bite of banana and Louis shakes his head.

He says, "It must not have been very memorable to you."

"Aww, come on. Don't say that." I look at him apologetically, trying to wriggle my toes underneath his bum to keep them warm. "You're telling me you remember?"

"Of course I remember."

"Well, then. Refresh my memory." I swallow the bite of banana and reach for my juice so that I can take a sip then settle back against the sofa again.

Louis sighs and tells me, "We were watching a movie, I can't remember exactly what the movie was...some dumb comedy that Niall picked with Adam Sandler. Or maybe it was Mike Myers." He scratches his head and looks up at the ceiling for a moment. "I guess it doesn't matter. There was a small group of us watching and you and I were laying on the couch together sharing a blanket. I think Zayn was asleep on the floor in front of us."

"No way. Zayn was sleeping?" I gasp with faux disbelief and he smiles and sets his toast down on the coffee table, apparently done with it.

He brushes the crumbs from his fingers and says, "Liam and Niall were next to each other on the floor, kind of laying on their stomachs but facing the screen. Anyway, everyone was so engrossed in the movie and talking to each other that they weren't paying attention to what we were doing so I decided to make my move."

"So, you were the one who made the first move?"

"Well, we both moved in on each other, didn't we?" He wiggles his eyebrows. "Anyway, I was playing with your hair and then I nudged you so you'd turn around—" 

"Oh shit, I think I do remember this." I say excitedly as it all comes flooding back to me. "The movie was Waterboy and everyone was laughing like idiots but you and I were spooning on the sofa. You were, like, stroking my scalp and then you leaned in and kissed the back of my neck."

His smile widens and he says quietly, "Tell me the rest."

I close my eyes briefly, mentally placing myself back in time, then look into his eyes again and tell him, "You kissed the back of my neck and kept your mouth there and your breath was warm and it kind of tickled." I smile wistfully at the memory. "It felt really good. And then you sort of wiggled me to get my attention so I turned around and you whispered, 'I want to kiss you'."

He nods slowly and licks his lips. "You told me to go ahead. But I don't think you really thought I'd do it."

"I didn't think you would at first, I just thought you were taking the piss out of me. But then I realized you were serious and I was so nervous; my heart was _pounding_."

"I know, I had my hand on your chest and I remember feeling it pounding against my palm." He sits up and takes a sip of his juice then sets the glass down and moves so that he's straddling my body, gently pushing me back so that I'm laying on the couch. "You were so adorable. So sweet and naive." 

"I wasn't that naive." I say with a smirk and take another bite of my toast then lick the jam from my thumb.

He moves his body down so that he's laying on top of me, sliding his legs between mine, and I laugh when he takes the toast and banana from my hands and tosses them onto the plate on the coffee table. He leans in close and whispers, "You always tried to act so confident and experienced but...I could tell you were nervous."

"I'd never kissed a boy before. Only girls." I answer quietly, remembering how nervous I felt, wondering if he would actually kiss me.

He nods and hovers over me, looking at me with so much affection it makes my heart flutter. He runs the back of his fingers down my neck, slowly leaning in until our mouths are only inches apart, and asks, "What happened next?"

"Umm...you pulled the blanket up so that no one would be able to see us." I lick my lips and slide my hands up his chest and into his hair. "Then you leaned in and kissed me."

"Mm hmm," He breathes out and finally presses his lips against mine for a gentle kiss. When he pulls back, he says, "I knew I was heading into dangerous territory, but...I just couldn't help myself." He brushes his lips against mine again. "I could never help myself when it came to you."

"The feeling was mutual." I reply then quickly add, "The feeling _is_ mutual."

He smiles and leans in to kiss me again but I place one finger over his lips and say, "Hang on. I have toast breath."

"So what? So do I." He mutters against my fingertip then grasps my wrist to move my hand away and leans down to try to breathe in my face, making me laugh and turn my head from side to side, trying to get away from him.

When he finally stops, I reach up to push the hair away from his face and tell him, "If we're going to try for round five, I need to go brush my teeth." He kisses my chin and down my neck while I keep talking... "Because I like to kiss you when we're making love and I'd rather not kiss you when we both have toast crumbs in our mouths. Plus, that juice kind of leaves an aftertaste, not to mention the banana—"

"Hey, Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Please do shut up." He kisses me again and I smile against his lips.

He reaches down to wrap my legs around his waist and I laugh as he tries to stand up while holding me and practically falls over but manages to push himself up, taking a few unbalanced steps with me in his arms, my legs wrapped tightly around him.

"You're the tall one, _you_ should be carrying _me_." He says as he starts walking towards the bathroom.

"I didn't tell you to pick me up, did I? You can be such a knob." I reply with a laugh, pressing my face into his neck, secretly loving being carried by him.

"I'm about to _give_ you my knob." He pinches my butt cheek then gently sets me down once we're inside the bathroom. 

I open the cabinet and reach for my toothbrush then search through the drawers until I find a new toothbrush for Louis to use. I hand it to him and say, "Here, I just bought this one. You can have it."

He tears the package open and pulls out the toothbrush then holds it up and says, "It's pink."

"I know. And it's got glitter specks. Pretty, innit?" I grab the tube of toothpaste and squeeze some onto both of our brushes then we stand side by side brushing our teeth, bumping our hips and smiling when we catch each other's eyes in the mirror.

Through the toothpaste suds in his mouth he tells me, "Only been together about twelve hours and I already have my own toothbrush at your place."

"Mm hmm," I spit into the sink and ask, "Does that scare you?"

"Nah," He spits too then gives me a quick kiss and says, "not scared yet."

After rinsing the rest of the toothpaste out of my mouth, I place my toothbrush on the edge of the sink then make sure he's watching as I slowly slide my underwear down to my ankles and kick them to the corner of the bathroom. I glide my hand along his bare back and kiss his shoulder then slowly walk to the bed and make myself comfortable as I wait for him to join me.

~*~

11:08 A.M.

"You've gotten really bendy, love. I like it." Louis tells me as he holds the backs of my thighs, spreading me wide open and pushing down into me with smooth thrusts, making my toes curl.

It's hard for me to talk from this position, which I think might be called a jackhammer, but I manage to gasp out, "Yoga."

"Yeah?" He asks breathlessly, the way he's squatting above me causing the muscles in his legs to look beautifully defined. I want to touch them but I have to keep my arms on the bed, holding the bedcovers to keep steady so I won't make us both lose our balance.

"Mm hmm. It's," I grunt when he changes his angle a bit and sinks into me further, "it's really helped my core strength," I grunt again and add, "and my flexibility."

"I can see that. Very impressive." He smiles and slides one of his hands between my legs to stroke my erection and I close my eyes and bite my lip because it feels so so good, I'm afraid I might come and I'm not quite ready to be done yet.

Louis' legs start to shake so he slows his thrusts and I open my eyes to watch as he tilts his head back, moaning towards the ceiling and looking completely undone, hair a mess and his face pinched with concentration.

He looks down at me again and says, "You're not usually this quiet. Is this position okay for you?"

"My neck...this is killing my neck." I grunt out my reply so he carefully lowers us both down to the mattress again then adjusts himself on his knees and I hook my legs up on his hips, happy to have the mattress under my back again. 

"Sorry," He tells me, stroking my legs soothingly, "you alright?"

"Yeah, better now." I say with a smile and reach out to pull him to me so he lowers down for a lingering kiss.

He starts to push into me again and I hold him tight, gasping into his shoulder and feeling so incredibly close to him, so connected, I have to wonder if we were always meant to be together.

My musings about fate are interrupted when Louis trails warm, wet kisses down the side of my neck then kisses his way back up to my mouth again and looks at me with a slight smirk and says, "Yoga, huh?"

"Mm hmm, yoga."

"When did you start doing yoga?"

"You want to have a conversation about yoga _now_?" I ask, smiling and run my hands down to squeeze his ass.

"I guess it can wait." He replies quietly and kisses me again, holding my legs as he thrusts into me, all conversations about yoga forgotten.

~*~

11:14 A.M.

Louis...

After adjusting the temperature of the water in the sink I run a facecloth under the warm water then wring out the excess and walk into the bedroom where Harry is lying on his back, naked and sated and looking so fucking gorgeous.

I crawl onto the bed next to him and sit on my knees then look down at him, taking a moment to admire his body...all long limbs and delicate muscles, his skin glistening in the soft midday light coming in through the window.

His lips turn up in a small smile and he asks, "What?"

"Nothing." I shake my head and smile back at him. "Just looking at you."

Finally moving closer, I start to slowly run the cloth over his stomach, wiping away the remnants of his orgasm while he watches me with heavy-lidded eyes and a lazy smile.

"I could've gotten up and cleaned myself off." He tells me as I move the cloth up over his chest then down his belly again and over one of his hips.

"It's okay, I like it." I lean down to kiss his wet hipbone then fold the cloth until I find a clean spot and wipe his other hip then watch his face as I clean his cock, loving the way his eyes flutter closed and his mouth drops open just slightly.

I know that I could get him hard again if I wanted to but I'm feeling rather spent myself so I decide to give us both a rest. I wipe the head of his cock one last time then start to place the cloth on the nightstand but he makes a face so I quickly carry it into the bathroom, throwing it into the sink before walking back to the bed and flopping down, settling on my side next to him, one of my legs resting across both of his.

I reach out to trace his 'Might as well...' tattoo with the tip of my finger and say, "So...yoga, huh?"

He nods and slowly runs his fingers through my hair. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well, no offense but you're not exactly the most coordinated person."

"I know, I am pretty clumsy. But yoga has actually helped me with that."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. It's good for balance and coordination." He explains quietly, "I'd say I haven't fallen over my own feet for at least two weeks."

I chuckle a little and move my finger to circle his bellybutton. "Maybe I should try it with you sometime."

"Yeah, I'd love that. I mean, I'm no expert at it or anything but I'd love it if you did it with me."

"Sounds good." My finger moves up to his butterfly and I ask, "When did you start?"

"Yoga? Umm...probably about almost a year ago, I think?"

I contemplate that for a moment then ask, "So right around the time you were with Tommy?"

He chuckles. "Yes, _Thomas_ was the one who introduced me to it."

"He seems like the yoga type."

"What is a yoga type?"

"Just, like, earthy and self righteous." I explain and Harry laughs loudly then covers his mouth, and I laugh with him because I know how ridiculous it is for me to be jealous at this point.

He says, "I know you don't want to believe this but Thomas was a really nice guy. I wouldn't've dated him otherwise."

I nod. "I believe you."

"He was really good at yoga, too. You should've seen him. I always felt so awkward doing it next to him because he was like this gazelle and I was like...I don't know, like a monkey or something." 

We both laugh and I tell him, "I'm sure you were fine."

"I'm better now."

"I look forward to you showing me." I rest my head on his belly and sigh. "Not now, though. Right now, we rest."

~*~

4:15 P.M.

I glance at the clock and laugh a little as I look back at Harry and say, "Weren't you going to invite the guys over for brunch?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Look at the time, Harold."

He looks at the clock then groans and flops his head back down on the pillow, closing his eyes. "Well, shit. I guess it's a little late for brunch, innit."

"We should probably think about what to have for dinner instead." I frown a little and say, "Unless...let me know if you want me to leave."

"What?" He opens his eyes and asks, "What do you mean, want you to leave?"

"Well, I'm just saying, I've been here since last night, so if you're getting sick of me..." I shrug.

"I don't want you to leave." He says with a lazy smile, blinking at me slowly, "Do you _want_ to leave?"

"No." I shake my head and turn onto my side to face him, slowly running my fingers up his back and into his hair. We've spent the day having sex, talking, playing video games and eating an occasional snack, but the truth is that I don't really have a desire to do anything more than that. Still, I know Harry isn't one to lie around; he usually likes to stay busy so I ask, "Should we, like, get up and try to be productive?"

"I think we've been plenty productive." He answers sleepily, "We had sex five times since yesterday; I'd say that's _very_ productive."

"Yeah, I guess that is a pretty big accomplishment."

He shimmies closer to me, and I smile and wrap my arm around him, closing my eyes when he kisses along my jaw line, slow and soft, his breath hitting my skin in warm puffs. I open my eyes again and ask, "Hey, what do you suppose the record is?"

"What record?"

"The record for how many times someone has had sex in one day."

"It's a hell of a lot more than five times, I can tell you that."

"How many do you think?"

"I don't know, we'd have to look it up." He shrugs and says, "Probably like a hundred or something."

"A hundred in one day?" I shake my head, "It's not possible."

"You don't think?" He kisses my chin and pulls back a little, lying on his side and resting his head on his palm. "How about fifty in a day?"

"Would there even be any sperm left at that point?" I wrinkle my nose.

"It would probably be, like, a puff of smoke that comes out." He says then blows out a puff of air to imitate what it might sound like and we both laugh.

"Seriously, it would be a dust cloud." I say and make an obscene choking sound, which makes him laugh more and collapse down to bury his face in the pillow.

I lean forward to kiss his shoulder and when he turns his head to face me again, shifting the pillow to make himself more comfortable, I ask him, "I know it's nowhere close to the record but...should we go for number six?"

"I don't know if I have it in me. Maybe in a few hours." He replies with an apologetic smile and reaches out to rub his fingers against my cheek.

I gently hold his hand against my face. "Sorry about my stubble. I should probably get up and shave, yeah?"

"No, I like it."

"You do?"

"Mm hmm."

"I'm glad." I kiss the back of his hand then slowly rub our fingers together on my cheek, "Some of the girls I dated in the past didn't like it."

"Well, they didn't know what they were missing. Don't get me wrong, I like it when you're clean shaven too, but when you're stubbly and you kiss me I can still feel it after you pull away. It's like..." He smiles like he's embarrassed and says, "Nevermind."

"No, tell me."

"I don't want to say it, you'll laugh."

"I won't laugh, I promise." He still doesn't speak so I tell him, "Let's just agree that today we get to say all the soppy things we're thinking, and I won't laugh at you if you don't laugh at me. Deal?"

He nods but takes a moment before finally saying, "It's like, I always have you with me. Like, I can just close my eyes and I feel you on my skin. I can feel you kissing me and touching me...it's like you're always with me."

My heart swells with love for him once again and I immediately move closer so that I can kiss him, slow and deep, then I gently rub my cheek against his and pull away, smiling. I say, "Now it's my turn to say something soppy."

"Yes, please do."

I swallow hard and quietly tell him, "You inspire me, Harry. I want to write a thousand love songs about you." I laugh a little and shake my head. "Or at least one really good one. About how happy you make me. About...how fucking lucky I feel right now."

He smiles at me with tears in his eyes. "I'd love that."

I kiss him one more time then quickly roll off of the bed, filled with sudden inspiration. "Do you have a pen and pad of paper somewhere?"

"Yes, in the kitchen," He answers and I start to run out of the bedroom as he adds, "in the drawer next to the sink!"

Smiling to myself, I rummage through the drawer until I find a small notebook and a pen then I turn to sit at the kitchen table and write at the top of the first blank page I find, "A Song For Harry".

I bounce a little in my seat and mumble to myself, "This is going to be _epic_."

~*~

5:32 P.M.

Harry...

My flat has gotten a bit cold so I adjust the thermostat then search through my chest of drawers to find some clean sweats and a jumper. I decide to grab a grey jumper for Louis as well and walk towards the kitchen so that I can peek in on him; he's only been writing for a little over an hour but I'm dying to know what he's written so far.

Slowly poking my head around the corner, I can see that he's sitting at the kitchen table, tapping the pen against his chin and looking deep in thought, but when he sees me he immediately tells me, "Ah ah! No peeking!"

"I'm just bringing you this," I answer, walking towards him and holding out the jumper, "because it's cold in here and I don't want you to get sick."

When I'm close enough, I can't help but to try and look at the notebook but he quickly closes it and says, "Nice try, Curly."

"Okay, okay." I unfold the jumper and hold it above his head. "Here, lift your arms." He narrows his eyes at me so I laugh and say, "I'm not going to try anything, I promise! Just lift your arms and put this on so you won't catch cold."

He finally lifts his arms so that I can slip the jumper on and once it's over his head, I smooth down his hair and he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Can't I just see one lyric?" I ask sweetly and he huffs out a laugh.

"Absolutely not." He looks up at me, resting his chin on my stomach, "It's not ready yet."

"Okay." I bend down to kiss his forehead and when he tips his head back, I immediately tilt my head to slot our mouths together, sighing happily into the kiss.

When I pull my lips away, he tells me quietly, "I don't want to show it to you until I've got something good. I feel like it isn't any good yet."

"I'm sure it is." I stroke his hair back. "But if you don't want me to look, I can respect that."

He pulls me down for one more kiss then spanks my bum and gently pushes me away as he says, "Now, go watch some telly or something. I have very serious work to attend to."

"Okay." I answer and walk away with a smile. 

I turn my phone on as I walk into the bedroom and sit down on the bed while I wait for it to find a connection. I haven't checked it since yesterday so I know I'm probably going to have a shitload of messages but I have to laugh when the text, email and voicemail alerts start to come through and my phone sounds like it might actually blow up.

I quickly mute it and start to sort through the messages, deleting the spam and most of the Twitter notifications, then come across a series of texts from my sister...

 _"Everyone is reporting that you and Shmouis were out on a date last night, of course."_ She includes links for several pictures of me and Louis leaving the restaurant, greeting our fans and signing autographs. 

Another message says, _"You're trending worldwide right now, just thought I'd warn you!"_ She includes a screencap from Twitter that shows "LarryisBack" as the number three trending topic.

The next picture shows me and Louis walking towards his car after our date, his hand on my lower back, and Gemma's message says, _"Call me!"_

I laugh and move on to the next few messages, which are all from Liam and progressively become more and more urgent. I feel terrible for not calling him sooner but I know he'll understand once I explain it to him. I feel like Louis and I have been in a safe little cocoon here in my flat, where the rest of the world can't touch us, and I wasn't ready for that to be over yet. 

The first person I need to call is my sister so scroll through my contacts then tap on her name once I reach it and hold the phone to my ear, flopping back on the bed as I wait for her to answer.

"Harry?" She answers on the second ring.

"Yep, it's me."

"About time, I'm dying here!"

"I was a little busy, sorry." I answer with a smile. "And don't be so dramatic."

"Well, I can't help it. Everyone, and I do mean _everyone_ , has been calling me to try and find out what's going on!"

" _Everyone_ , Gemma? There are billions of people in the world, I highly doubt they've all called you in the last twenty four hours."

"It certainly feels like it." She sighs dramatically. "So, tell me what's going on."

"Well...Louis and I had a nice dinner last night. We had steak and lobster, it was phenomenal."

"Mm hmm."

"They had this cheesy bread, it was _so good_. You would love it. I wish I'd gotten an order to go because—"

"Harry, as fascinating as cheesy bread is, can you please tell me what I really want to know?"

"And what's that?"

"Don't be daft, I'll kick your ass the next time I see you."

I laugh a little and tell her, "You want me to tell you about dessert?"

"I want you to tell me what happened with Shmouis! Was it just a 'hey, let's have dinner as mates' thing, or was he trying to get into your pants again or what? Tell me what he said to you."

"He said a lot of things."

"Harry!"

"No, listen! I'm going to tell you if you'll give me a minute."

"Okay, get to it already."

I stare at the ceiling dreamily. "He was so sweet, Gem. He...well, at first he was being a bit of a knob but I know it's just because he was nervous. And then he said that he loves me."

"That's it? He told you that he loves you?"

"No, he said a lot more than that but I don't want to share it all because it's between me and him. But, he just...he said everything that I've wanted to hear from him for a really long time." My smile widens. "And then we had sex. Lots and lots of sex."

She groans and tells me, "Okay, thank you for sharing that."

"You said you wanted to know what happened." I can't fight back a giggle.

"You could've left out that last part."

"But that part was so good. I mean, like, _really_ good."

"Ewww!"

"We've never done it that many times in one night." She makes a gagging noise but I continue, "It's like we couldn't get enough of each other. He was insatiable and I was more than happy to—"

"Har-ry! Seriously, stop!" She yells with a laugh and I throw my head back, cackling loudly.

After regaining my composure again, I tell her, "Sorry, couldn't help myself."

"So, you and Louis are together? Like, officially?"

"Yes."

"Not sure how I feel about that."

"You should feel happy, because I'm happy. I'm really really happy, Gemma."

She's quiet for a moment then finally says, "I guess we'll see."

"What does that mean?"

"Look," She blows out a breath, "I'm just afraid he's going to hurt you again." 

"Let me worry about that. Okay? I'm a grown up, you don't have to protect me." She's quiet again so I ask, "You still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. All I know is that I received a phone call from you not too long ago and you were sobbing because of him."

"I know."

"You were so sad; I've never heard you sound that broken." Her voice quivers and I close my eyes, once again feeling a wave of guilt over making her worry. She continues, "You were inconsolable and it _killed_ me to have to hear you like that. And _he's_ the reason you were like that."

"I know, okay?" I reply softly, "But things are different now."

"Okay." She answers, her voice full of doubt.

"They are, I promise. He wasn't ready back then, but he's changed." I explain and she makes another noise to let me know she doesn't believe me so I decide it's time to change the subject, "Anyway, don't tell mum. I want to tell her myself."

"Well then, you should call her now because you know I'm crap at keeping secrets from her."

"I will. I'm going to ask her to invite me over for dinner so that I can introduce my new boyfriend." I smile to myself, still thrilled at being able to call him that.

"Make sure she invites me too, yeah?"

"Okay, but you have to be nice to Louis."

"I'm always nice."

"Uh huh." I reply then jump a little when Louis enters the room, looking defeated.

He mouths, "Can I come in?"

I nod and my brow furrows as I watch him pull his jumper off and flop facedown onto the bed next to me, stuffing the jumper under his head.

"I'm going to let you go now," I tell Gemma, "but I'll talk to you again after I call mum."

"Okay, don't forget."

"I won't. Talk to you soon." After hanging up I roll onto my side to face Louis and ask, "You're done already?"

"No, I've given up." He answers, the words muffled due to his face being buried in the jumper.

"You can't give up."

"Yes, I can."

"Why've you given up? It's only been an hour or something. You can't give up after only—"

"It's crap, Harry." He turns his head to look at me, pouting, "I'm clearly not a song writer."

"Aww, c'mon. It can't be that bad."

"It is. It's terrible. You know how we have Best Song Ever? This could be titled Worst Song Ever. No doubt about it. It's pure and utter shit."

"Let me have a look at it, please?"

"No, I don't want you to see it." He replies petulantly and buries his face again.

I reach out to run my fingers through his hair, hoping I can butter him up enough to share what he's written. I tell him quietly, "Maybe I could help, if you let me take a look at it."

He slowly turns his head again, emotion clear in his eyes. "I just wanted to write something nice for you, because you deserve something beautiful. I just wanted to give you something special, you know?"

I move closer to pepper kisses across his cheek and his temple then his eyelid and the bridge of his nose until he's finally smiling. I move down to press several soft kisses to his lips and say, "I love that you wanted to write me something. Thank you. But, don't you know you've already given me everything I want?"

He turns onto his side so that we're facing each other, our noses practically touching, and slowly runs his fingers through my hair, looking at me in that way that always makes my heart flutter.

Even if he did write me a thousand love songs, I don't think it could make me love him any more than I do right now.

~*~

7:29 P.M.

Louis...

After eating dinner together, a nice chicken and rice dish that Harry whipped together that was absolutely delicious, I finally decided to let him see my lyrics because I knew that he would be honest with me, but more importantly, I knew he would be kind.

Now, as we sit together on his bed again and Harry looks over my scribbled pages while my heart pounds nervously in my chest, I wonder if I should've just ripped the pages and thrown them into the fireplace. But I wanted him to see that my intention was there, even if my ability to express myself via lyrics was lacking.

"It's crap, isn't it." I finally say, and it's not a question because I know it's true.

He shakes his head and turns one of the pages over as he replies, "It's not crap, Louis. It's actually really sweet."

I sit up a little more and tilt my head to try and see which part he's reading then tell him, "I couldn't think of any words that rhymed with special."

"You don't necessarily have to rhyme everything. It's just like with poetry, it doesn't have to rhyme."

"I was always shit at writing poetry too. Guess I should stick to singing." I say with a laugh and settle back on my heels.

"Liam could probably help you. Work with you on it, you know?" Harry says as he sets the pages down on the bed in between us, "He's great at working out lyrics, trust me. The two songs we wrote together? I would've been lost without him."

I smirk and say, "Do I have to make out with him like you did?"

"Okay, first of all, I did not _make out_ with Liam." He replies with amusement. "We kissed _briefly_."

"How long is briefly?"

"Just, like, thirty minutes." He says, shrugging, and I sputter a little, my eyes going wide with shock, so he starts to laugh and says, "Kidding! I'm just kidding."

"Jesus, I thought you were serious for a second there. How long would you say it actually was?

"It was only about ten seconds, I swear." He holds his hand up as if he's swearing under oath.

"Ten seconds is pretty long for a kiss."

"Not _that_ long."

"Was there tongue?"

"Seriously, Lou? C'mon."

"Just tell me. I'm not mad, I promise."

"Yes, there was tongue."

"Your tongue or his?"

"It was mutual tongue." He answers then looks at the ceiling and adds, "Actually, I think I instigated the tongue. He just...didn't move his away."

"Mutual tongue. That would be a great name for a rock band." I switch to my best announcer voice, "And now, please welcome to the stage, performing their hit single 'Wet-N-Juicy', Mutual Tongue!"

I make the sound of a crowd roaring and he laughs loudly, the sound echoing off the walls of his bedroom. Then he puts on his own announcer voice and says, "And now it's time for their next single...'Tonsil Hockey!'"

"I actually think it's tonsil tennis." I correct him and he leans forward to playfully punch my arm.

"You know, as my boyfriend you should just go along with what I say."

"Even if you're wrong? I should just back you up in your wrongness?"

"Yes." He answers and bites his lower lip seductively so I move towards him for a tender kiss.

When I pull back, I ask quietly, "Was that better than your kiss with Liam?"

"I don't know, Liam has those nice, pillowy lips. You know what I mean?" He replies, clearly teasing me so I pounce on him, tackling him to the bed.

"Okay, that's it! You're gonna get it!" I tickle him, starting with his stomach then wiggling my fingers into his armpits. Then I lower down to blow a raspberry against the most ticklish spot on his neck, causing him to let out a very loud, very unmasculine squeal. 

I finally stop and hover over him, smiling down at him as I say, "Take it back."

Still laughing, he brushes his fingers through my hair and asks, "Take what back?"

"Take back that you enjoyed kissing Liam."

"Okay, fine. I take it back."

I narrow my eyes. "I don't know if I believe you."

"How can I prove it to you?"

I pretend to think about it for a moment then answer with a smirk, "You haven't blown me in a really long time."

He lets out an adorable giggle. "Yeah, it's been at least a few hours."

"Way too long if you ask me." I lower one hand down between my legs, squeezing my cock through my pants and rutting against him, already growing hard at the thought of him sucking me off. "Whad'ya say?"

"I say...let's get naked."

~*~

7:46 P.M.

Harry...

Louis sucks in a breath then lets out a long, sensuous moan and arches his back as he spreads his legs a little further, looking so beautiful I wish I could take a picture to keep just for myself. I've always loved the noises he makes when I'm performing fellatio on him; to know that I'm making him feel that good is very empowering to me, as silly as it might sound.

I know exactly what he likes so I spend a few minutes alternating between licking, sucking and stroking his cock until he's breathless and tugging at my hair, muttering, "That's it...ohhh fuck...Harry...that's...yessss..."

I stop sucking for a moment so that I can wet my middle finger then quickly take him into my mouth again as I circle his asshole with my finger, smiling around his dick at the way it flutters under my touch. I know my finger isn't quite wet enough so I lower my head down and lick around his pucker a few times, which Louis seems to love, if the way he's watching me is any indication, so I continue to stroke him while wiggling my tongue against his entrance, making it nice and wet.

I slowly push my finger inside of him and lick his perineum, and he laughs breathlessly, "Oh my god! That feels so fucking good."

I keep my eyes on his as I make a show of holding the base of his dick then slowly licking up the shaft to the head and sucking him down as far as I can while pushing my finger inside of him, feeling my own dick twitch between my stomach and the comforter. I want to reach down and stroke myself but both hands are a bit busy right now so I settle for rolling my hips, thrusting into the bed to get a little friction.

Louis buries his fingers in my hair again, holding me in place as he thrusts his hips up, pushing himself into my mouth, and I feel my eyes watering every time he hits the back of my throat but I hollow out my cheeks and breathe through my nose whenever I can. I thrust my finger into his ass a few more times then turn my wrist up until I find the little bundle of tissue and when I start to massage it with my middle finger, his whole face contorts and soon he's flooding my mouth.

I swallow quickly and continue to suck the head while he watches me with glossy eyes then I move up to kiss him, the idea of him tasting himself so deliciously filthy it makes my own orgasm approach quickly, so I bring one hand down to stroke myself, still kissing him as I come on his stomach, my whole body quivering.

After taking a few moments to catch my breath I open my eyes and see him smiling at me. He says, "That was fucking phenomenal."

I tilt my head for one more kiss then lean down to kiss between his collarbones before shifting away, rolling off of the bed so that I can clean myself off in the bathroom.

Once I've washed my hands and wiped myself off with a wet cloth, I carry the cloth into the bedroom so that I can clean Louis and see that he's resting on his elbows and looking at the door curiously so I ask, "What's wrong?"

"I swear, I thought I heard something." He answers quietly.

"Like what?" I ask as I crawl onto the bed and look at the door with him, trying to figure out if he's being serious.

"It sounded like someone came in." He explains and I shake my head, convinced he's messing with me.

"Yeah right." I start to wipe his stomach with the wet cloth while he stares at the door as if someone is going to come banging through it any second.

"No, seriously," He tells me, "I thought I heard the door."

I tell him, "It's probably just the fans outside. They tend to stay pretty late sometimes and they can get pretty loud—" I stop talking when I hear a voice in my hallway and my heart jumps.

"See, I told you someone was—" Louis says but I cover his mouth so that I can try to listen.

"Harry? Are you home?" The voice in the hallway says and my whole body relaxes when I realize who it is.

I look at Louis and quietly tell him, "It's Liam."

"What'd he do, pick the lock to let himself in?" Louis asks, pulling the comforter up to cover his naked body.

"No, I gave him a key."

"Harry?" Liam says from right outside the bedroom door.

"Hang on just one sec, Li." I say as I toss the wet cloth onto the floor and grab the comforter so that I can cover Louis' head with it.

I whisper to him, "Here, hide under here."

"Why?" He mouths, frowning at me.

I lean down and whisper in his ear, "I just want to mess with him for a minute."

Louis is always up for a prank so he smiles and crawls all the way under the comforter while I quickly grab my sweats and pull them on then walk to the door and take a moment to mess up my hair but realize it's probably already pretty mussed from Louis pulling it earlier.

I slowly pull the door open, trying to look like I've just woken up. "Hey. Sorry, I was just..." I yawn and rub one of my eyes with my palm, "trying to find some sweats to put on."

"I'm so sorry to just let myself in," Liam gives me an apologetic look and says, "your phone was off and I left a ton of messages but you didn't call back and I started to worry. I knocked but you must not have heard me so I used my key. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright, I hope that's okay?"

"You're so sweet, Liam. Of course it's okay. Thanks for checking on me." I try to sound forlorn, which isn't easy considering I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. "Sorry I didn't call you back, I just...I don't know, I guess I just wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet."

"Oh no," His shoulders sag and I feel an instant pang of guilt at how concerned he looks as he says, "How did things go? Did...did you and Louis talk?"

"Oh yeah, we definitely talked. We talked a lot, actually."

"Yeah?"

"Mm hmm." I sigh and motion for him to come into the room, thinking there's no way he can miss the Louis-shaped figure under the comforter but he keeps his eyes on me as he enters. 

He says, "I take it things didn't go well?"

I decide I've had enough fun with him so I say, "Actually, I think they went really well," I shift my eyes to the bed and add, "wouldn't you say, Lou?"

Louis pushes the covers down to reveal his head and smiles at Liam as he says, "Things went _spectacularly_ well, I'd say."

Liam laughs and turns to shove me playfully. "That was so mean!"

"I know, I'm sorry!" I reply, laughing, "I shouldn't have done that, I just wanted to have a little fun."

Louis sits up and smoothes his hair down, sighing as he says, "Just for the record, I was strictly against playing a prank on you."

"Yeah, right." Liam and I answer in unison then laugh.

Liam looks back and forth between us and says, "So, you guys worked everything out?"

"Yes," I look at Louis and smile. "We worked it all out."

"And you're together. No more 'friends who help each other out sometimes'?" Liam asks, making quotation marks with his fingers in the air, and Louis and I both laugh and nod.

"We're officially a couple." I say, overwhelmed with another flutter of happiness at those words.

"I'm so glad." Liam laughs a little, "I'm so relieved! Seriously, I'm just so happy for you guys. I really want to hug you both right now but I have a feeling there's been some serious cookie baking going on in here."

I let out a startled laugh then cover my mouth while Louis smiles mischievously and says, "Yes, you have no idea how much baking has happened since last night. In fact, Harry was just wiping some batter off of me moments ago."

Liam laughs loudly and shakes his head. "Oh boy, that's...really not a visual I needed, thank you."

"Sorry, couldn't resist." Louis shrugs.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll go ahead and go," Liam turns toward the door, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You don't have to leave." I tell him, frowning. "I made some chicken and rice earlier, there's plenty left over if you want some?"

"Yeah?" He looks hopeful then hesitates, "I don't want to intrude."

"You're not intruding." Louis says, "I think we're out of cookie dough for the time being, if you know what I mean." 

Liam and I both laugh then I place my hand on Liam's arm and say, "Seriously, you should stay. You drove all this way."

"You sure?" He asks and I nod.

"Absolutely." I answer and grab my jumper from the floor then quickly pull it over my head. "C'mon, Lou's going to get himself cleaned up." I look back at the bed while steering Liam toward the door and Louis smiles at me as he stands up and lets the blanket fall, leaving him standing naked on the bed with his hands on his hips.

I roll my lips into my mouth to keep from laughing and quickly guide Liam into the hallway so he won't see Louis. (Not that it matters; we've all seen each other naked at one point or another. But still...I'd like to keep Louis' naked body all to myself now, thank you very much!) 

Once we're in the kitchen I turn the lights on and point to the bouquet of peonies on the counter as I proudly say, "Louis bought those for me."

Liam smiles. "They're beautiful."

"Aren't they? I love them." I reach out to touch them, knowing I must be gushing. I know they're just flowers but they represent so much; they represent the change in Louis, not to mention a fresh start for our relationship.

Liam pulls his coat off so I quickly snap out of my reverie and say, "Here, I'll hang that up for you." I take his coat and hang it on the coat rack and when I walk back into the kitchen I ask, "Is it cold outside?"

"Yeah, it's gotten really cold. There aren't even any fans out on your stoop, so you _know_ it's got to be cold."

"Really? Wow, I can't even remember the last time that happened." I pull the chicken and rice out of the refrigerator then pull the lid off and place the container in the microwave to heat it up. "I would offer you some hot tea but I'm out at the moment."

"You're out of tea? What kind of Englishman are you?" Liam asks with wide eyes and I laugh.

"That's exactly what Louis said."

Liam looks at me with a curious smile and says, "You're positively glowing, did you know that?"

"Am I?" I touch my palms to my cheeks and laugh. 

Liam says with sincerity, "I'm so happy for you, Harry. I really am."

"Thank you Liam," I move closer and pull him in for a hug, squeezing him tight. "You've been such a great friend, I love you."

"Love you, too." He replies, patting my back.

"My God!" Louis yells melodramatically from the doorway, "You two can't keep your hands off of each other, can you?"

Liam and I laugh as we pull away from each other and Liam explains, "It was just a friendly hug, I promise."

Louis puts his fists up, throwing faux punches at Liam's stomach, then pounces on him for a big hug of his own. 

I open the microwave so that I can check on the food but it's not quite ready yet so I give it a stir then place it back in the microwave for another couple of minutes.

I reach for the plates and ask Louis, "Do you want some more?"

"Yeah, I could eat again. Funny how all that baking works up an appetite." He nudges Liam with his elbow and Liam laughs and rolls his eyes.

I set the table for the three of us and once the food is hot, we sit together and eat, talking and laughing the way we always do. The last twenty four hours have been positively heaven; now that Louis and I are together, I don't think I'll stop glowing any time soon.

~ End Chapter 22 ~


	23. Family - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has it really been that long?! I'm soooo sorry!  *offers you all chocolate*
> 
> I have to send a huge thank you to everyone who has left me such nice comments and told me to keep going, and a special thank you to my friend oh_amelia on LJ for putting up with my numerous PMs; if it weren't for your encouragement I probably would've given up! I'm going to have more very soon, I promise...this chapter was supposed to be twice as long but since it's taking me so long to write the ending I decided to split it into two chapters.
> 
> Okay, enough of my babbling. I had a lot of fun writing this, I really hope you like it! 

Louis...

The hot water beats down on my back and I slowly roll my neck, allowing the stream to flow over my head and across my shoulders, hoping it will help to wake me up. It's not even all that early in the morning but we stayed up late with Liam, then once he left, Harry and I finished the night off with an attempt at one last round of lovemaking, which was unfortunately thwarted by pure exhaustion and we had to settle for cuddling.

Since yesterday was pretty much a day for Harry and I to indulge in our new relationship, today we need to take care of some things and let a few people into our safe little bubble.

I'd kind of hoped that Harry would at least join me in the shower this morning for a bit of fun, but clearly he's too busy getting things ready for Zayn, Niall and Liam, who are all supposed to be joining us for brunch in a short while.

After I've soaked in the hot water for a minute or two, I reach for the shampoo bottle and pour a generous amount into my palm then lather my hair up, giving my scalp a good scrub, then tip my head back to rinse it out. Next, I slowly run the bar of soap over my skin and smile to myself because the scent reminds me of Harry...warm and clean, somehow masculine and feminine at the same time, so deliciously enticing I want to soak myself in it every single day.

Like some kind of Pavlovian response, my cock immediately starts to thicken so I reach down to give it a few lazy tugs. I glance up at the showerhead, noticing it's detachable, then spend a moment contemplating the ethicality of having a wank in my boyfriend's shower, but when I pull the showerhead off of its holder and realize it has five different settings, including one labeled "pulsate", I feel like I really have no choice but to try it out.

After placing the soap back in its place, I try out a few different settings on the showerhead, using it to massage my chest and shoulders, then switch the setting to pulsate and close my eyes as I lean against the wall and bring it between my legs.

"Ooohhhh, yeeeeaaaahhhhh. That's what I'm talkin' about." I mutter to myself with a dreamy smile, wondering how much time I have left before the hot water runs out. But considering how amazing this pulsate setting feels on my erection, I really don't think it's going to take me too long!

~*~

"How was your shower?" Harry asks me as I walk into the kitchen wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around my hips.

"It was _fabulous_." I reply, flicking my wet hair to the side.

Harry's too busy cooking something in a frying pan to pay any attention to me, which I don't care for at all, so I lean against the counter next to him, pushing the towel a bit lower on my hipbones to try and gain his attention. I say seductively, "I was kind of hoping you would join me. In the shower, you know?"

"I wanted to, believe me, but there's so much to do before the guys get here."

"Well, I was forced to make love to myself." I tell him, sighing melodramatically.

"Is that right? How were you?" He flicks his eyes to me briefly, smirking. "What would you rate yourself?"

"I was alright," I nod with satisfaction, "I'd give myself...to be fair, I'd give myself about an eight and a half."

"Why only eight and a half?"

"Yeah, I could've given myself a bit of foreplay." I explain and Harry laughs.

"You skipped the foreplay?"

"Yep. Didn't even give my nipples any attention."

"Aww, your poor nipples. They love attention." He says, his eyes returning to what he's cooking.

I hoist myself up onto the kitchen counter and tell him, "By the way, your showerhead is incredible."

"Yeah, it's top of the line..." He starts to say then seems to realize what I'm admitting to and his eyes widen when he asks me, "Did you have a wank using my showerhead?!"

"Excuse me, we made love." I tell him, holding my hand to my chest indignantly, "Please don't cheapen the experience."

He giggles then admits, "Well, I've _made love_ to that showerhead several times myself, so I guess we'll have to share it."

"My mother always told me sharing is caring." 

"Did you notice it has a pulsate setting?"

"Did I ever. I think I'm in love with it."

"Maybe we could use it together sometime."

"A little three-way action? Absolutely, I would love that." I lean forward and lift the sleeve of his white t-shirt so that I can kiss his bare shoulder then move my lips to his cheek, and he finally turns his head to give me a proper kiss.

He moans against my lips then suddenly pulls away and says, "You're going to make me burn my potatoes."

"Is that what you're cooking?"

"Yeah, with some peppers and onions mixed in. Niall asked for them specifically."

"It smells really good." I look down into the frying pan and watch him stirring the contents with a spatula. I ask, "Do you know when Niall and Zayn will be here?"

"Pretty soon, I think. Zayn's picking Niall up so they'll get here together." He glances at my towel and tells me with a lopsided grin, "As much as I'm enjoying the little show you're putting on for me, you'd better get dressed. Liam's going to be here any minute."

"One more kiss." I say quietly and he smiles as he tips his head towards me so that we can press our lips together once again.

~*~

Harry...

While Louis is getting dressed, Liam finally arrives with several bags full of groceries so I meet him at the back entrance and help him carry them to the kitchen table. We chitchat about the weather as we pull items out of the bags, covering the table with crumpets, chocolate chip scones, fruit, orange juice, eggs, sausage and an array of other foods. 

When I find a box of assorted teas I tell Liam, "Oh, thank you so much for getting this. Louis was complaining that he didn't get to have a cup of tea all day yesterday."

"You're welcome, I know how cranky Louis gets without his tea." Liam replies with a smile, "I'll start boiling some water because I could go for a cup too, actually."

"Okay, the kettle's clean, you just have to fill it with water." I look at the rest of the items on the table. "You must've been hungry when you went shopping, yeah?"

"I know I went a little overboard, but I figured it's better to get more than we need. Especially with Niall around, right?"

"Yeah, that's true." I pick up the package of sausage and walk to the counter where my scissors are located so that I can cut the package open.

"It smells good in here." Liam says as he places the kettle onto the burner and turns it on, "What are you cooking?"

"I cooked some potatoes with peppers and onions, and I've got some cinnamon rolls in the oven. They should be done in a couple of minutes."

"Well, let me know if I can help with anything."

"That would be great, actually. I need to cook the sausage and the eggs, and once the cinnamon rolls are out of the oven I need to drizzle some icing over the top of them." I pull out a clean frying pan and place it on the stove. "Do you want to cook the sausage while I scramble some eggs?"

"Of course, I can do that. You want me to cut the sausage into pieces or just cook them whole?"

"Umm...I think maybe cut them into bite sized pieces? You think that'll be good?"

"Yeah, that's how I usually do it." He answers and grabs a knife while I find him a cutting board.

After a couple of minutes the teakettle starts to whistle so I pull it off of the burner and bend down to check my cinnamon rolls, pulling them out when I see that they're a nice brown color.

Louis joins us in the kitchen and I ask him to drizzle the icing onto the cinnamon rolls while I finish up the eggs then find a glass container with a lid to place them in so that they'll stay hot.

I watch Louis squeezing the icing onto the last of the cinnamon rolls, which smell so delicious my mouth starts to water; I decide I don't want to wait to eat one so I suggest to Liam and Louis that we should all try one out, just to "make sure they're alright".

They quickly agree with me so the three of us sit at the table, each with our own cup of tea and a cinnamon roll. I blow on one spot until it's cool enough to eat, and when I finally bite into the sticky-sweet roll, I can't stop the moan that escapes my mouth.

"These are seriously incredible." Liam says with his mouth full and Louis nods in agreement.

After Louis takes a sip of his tea, he asks me, "So, is everything ready now? What else needs to be done?"

I swallow the bite in my mouth and answer, "Well, I think we're good to go. We've got potatoes, eggs, sausage. Oh, we have crumpets as well but we have the cinnamon rolls and some scones that Liam bought so..." I trail off with a shrug.

"Yeah, we probably have enough." Louis says then brings his mug to his lips for another sip of tea.

I take another big bite of my roll and start to lick the icing from my fingers but Louis grabs my hand and licks them instead, making me smile.

When he's finished he leans towards me for a sticky kiss then asks, "What about the fruit?"

"It's already cut, just need to find a nice bowl to put it in."

"I guess we're all set, then." He massages the back of my neck with one hand and asks, "Have you thought about how we should tell them?"

"Tell them?" I frown a little.

"Yeah, Zayn and Niall. Once they get here." He picks up his cinnamon roll and brings it to his mouth for a bite. "How should we tell them about us?"

I shrug a little and reach out to wipe some icing from the corner of his mouth then lick my fingers and say, "I don't think we need to plan it or anything. We should just let it happen organically, you know?"

"I'll do the talking. If that's alright with you?"

"Yeah, of course. You sure?"

"Yeah." He smirks and says, "Maybe I'll just blurt it out as soon as they walk in the door, then it'll be done with and we can get to eating."

"Absolutely not." I shake my head.

"I know, I was just kidding." He says with a slight laugh then squeezes the back of my neck again and leans in to kiss me.

I taste the sweetness of the icing on his tongue so I reach up to hold his face, moaning into his mouth, but suddenly Liam clears his throat so Louis and I both look at him across the table from us. I smile sheepishly and tell him, "Sorry, we got a little carried away I guess."

He smiles and says, "No, no, it's fine. Just wanted to remind you I'm here before you smear icing onto each other's bodies and fuck on the table."

Louis and I look at each other again and I realize how close we're sitting, thighs pressed firmly together, Louis' hand still on the back of my neck, his lips obscenely wet from our kiss. 

Liam finishes the last bite of his cinnamon roll and stands up to put his plate in the sink and Louis whispers in my ear, "I _so_ wanna smear icing on your body then fuck you on the table."

I huff out a laugh and try to ignore the surge of arousal his statement elicits. Shaking my head, I tell him quietly, "Incorrigible is what you are. You'll just have to wait until later."

He lifts an eyebrow and says, "And we can share the showerhead after that."

Liam's phone whistles in his pocket so he pulls it out to check the message and says, "Niall and Zayn are here, they're heading for the alley now; Zayn's finishing his cigarette. I'll go wait for them at the backdoor."

"Thanks Li." I say as he walks past me out of the kitchen then feel a wave of nerves hit me as I look at Louis, wondering if he's still feeling okay with what we're about to reveal to our friends.

~*~

Louis...

I listen as Liam walks down the hallway and opens the backdoor to wait for Niall and Zayn, and suddenly realize I hadn't been nervous until this very moment. Harry seems to sense my nerves because he tugs on his lower lip as he looks at me then asks, "You ready for this?"

"Yep. I'm ready." I try to look as confident as possible and ask him, "How about you? You ready?"

"Mm hmm." He answers with a nod and we stare into each other's eyes for a moment, neither of us ready to move. Suddenly the corner of Harry's mouth quirks up and he asks, "What do you call a man with no arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?"

I tilt my head and fight off a smile of my own. "I don't know, what?"

"Claude." He answers then makes an overdramatic 'ta da!' face, which has me breaking into a fit of laughter.

When I'm able to regain my composure, I nod and say, "Thanks, love. I needed that."

He opens his mouth to say something but before he can get it out, Niall is bouncing into the kitchen and pounces onto me, hugging me from behind as he shouts, "Tommo! I can't believe you beat us here!"

I don't bother to tell him that I've been at Harry's since night before last. Instead I laugh and hold his hands against my chest as he rocks me back and forth. I tell him, "Glad you're here, Nialler. Harry's been cooking up a ton of good food for you."

"Thank God, I'm fuckin' starvin'." He finally lets go of me so that he can hug Harry and I stand up to hug Zayn, finding comfort in the traces of smoke I smell on his leather jacket so I take a deep breath in, filling my nostrils with the scent of it.

Zayn pats my cheek as we pull away from each other and he asks me, "You good?"

"Yeah!" I answer and realize how high my voice goes so I quickly clear my throat and add, "M'fine. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm real good." Zayn replies and holds out a huge bottle of champagne. "Here, Niall made me stop to pick this up for us."

"Oh, brilliant." I laugh at the size of it then turn so that I can show it to Harry, "Check out what Zayn brought. We could make mimosas."

"Thanks Zayn." Harry says, pulling him into a hug.

"It smells amazing in here." Niall looks at the food on the counter, lifting the lid on the potatoes. "Oh shit, this looks so good. My mouth is literally watering; can we eat now or what?"

I laugh a little and gently pat Niall on the shoulders, guiding him towards one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Hang on a second now. Harry and I need to talk to you guys about something." 

"Yeah?" Niall's smile falters and Zayn looks back and forth between us a bit nervously.

"Yeah," Harry says and motions for Zayn and Liam to have a seat, "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. At least I don't think so."

"Oh good, had me worried for a second there." Zayn says with a relieved smile as he takes a seat next to Niall, with Liam on the other side of him.

"Don't break up the band, man!" Niall says exaggeratedly and pretends to cry into Zayn's shoulder.

"Nah, nothing like that." I answer with a nervous laugh and sit down next to Harry on the other side of the table from the other three boys.

I swallow hard, trying to calm the nerves in my stomach, and finally say, "Um, we just wanted to tell you something. And who knows, maybe it won't even be a surprise or a shock or whatever." I clear my throat and look at Harry then back to the boys again. "But we just...we wanted to tell you first, before it gets out everywhere. Because we're family, we're all family." I gesture between all of us and feel an enormous lump in my throat.

Harry reaches out to slide his hand into mine, linking our fingers together and when I look at him, he smiles at me reassuringly so I relax a little. I look back at Zayn and Niall and open my mouth to speak again but Zayn interrupts me by asking with a smirk, "So, are you two together finally, or what?"

I huff out a surprised laugh and nod. "Yeah. Yes, we are."

"It's about fucking time, you idiots!" Niall adds and I laugh even harder.

"Heyyy," Harry says, "Don't call _me_ an idiot. I had it figured out a long time ago." He looks at me, tightening his hold on my hand, "I just had to wait for this one here to catch up."

"It's true. I've been the idiot." I reply softly and lift our joined hands so that I can kiss his fingers. "But not anymore. It took me a while but I smartened up."

"I think it's awesome." Zayn tells us sincerely. 

"Yeah?" I turn my head to look at him, "So you're okay with it?"

Zayn smiles at me. "Of course I'm okay with it."

"Yeah, me too." Niall agrees then he and Zayn look at Liam, apparently waiting for him to agree with them.

Liam quickly tells them, "Oh! They already know I'm okay with it."

"Wait, you knew before us?" Niall asks.

Liam nods. "I came here last night to check on Harry, since I couldn't get a hold of him on his mobile. They told me when I came over."

I explain, "Liam's actually been a really great supporter for us?" I look at Harry and he nods in agreement.

He says, "Yeah, Liam found out kind of accidentally a long time ago that Lou and I were...well, we were sleeping with each other."

He looks at me so I nod and continue where he left off, smiling at Liam, "He was always great about it. I think he probably even knew that we were supposed to be together before we realized it."

"Before _you_ realized it." Harry corrects me with a gentle smile.

"Before _I_ did. You're right." I breathe a sigh of relief and look back at Niall and Zayn. "I'm just really glad you're all okay with it. It means a lot to me. To _us_."

Niall looks at us pointedly. "Come on, you should know us better than that by now."

Zayn adds, "Plus, I mean, you two have kind of been like an old married couple since the very beginning. It feels...I don't know, it just feels right. Seeing you two like this."

He smiles at us fondly and I feel my eyes stinging with tears because I'm so damned happy. I swallow hard and say, "Well, shit. I think I need to cry now. I've spent so much time fighting off my feelings for him because I've been so afraid..." I blow out a breath, so choked up I don't know if I can continue. Somehow I finally manage to add, "I'm just so happy, seriously. The friendship we have means the world to me, I don't know what I would've done if you guys...I'm just so glad you're okay with it. That's all that matters." 

Harry lets go of my hand so that he can rub my back then he leans in and presses his lips to my temple. It's such a simple gesture but so comforting to me; I close my eyes and allow myself to bask in the way it makes me feel warm all over and so very loved. 

I take a deep breath and turn my head so that Harry and I can kiss then he gives me a watery smile as he wipes the corners of my eyes. We both turn to look at Liam, Zayn and Niall and see that they've all stood up so that they can come around to our side of the table, and soon we're wrapped in a group hug that has us all laughing. 

When they finally pull away from us, I clear my throat and say, "So, if you guys want to, like, ask us anything or if you want to talk about it, we can." 

"I just have one question," Niall says with a serious expression, "Can we eat now? I'm seriously starving here!" 

We all laugh at that and Harry stands up to say, "Okay, okay. Let's eat!"

~ End Chapter 23 ~

  
Snagged this picture from Tumblr; as soon as I saw it I thought it was perfect!  
Credit (and a huge thank you) to the person who drew it. ♥


	24. Family - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it! =o>

Louis...

While Niall is on his second plate of food and his third mimosa, he looks at me and Harry and says, "So, you said before that we could ask questions if we wanted?"

"Absolutely." I answer then smirk and say, "Now that your belly's full you're ready to ask questions?"

"Exactly." Niall says, "I really was starving when we got here. Zayn wouldn't let me get anything when we stopped for the champagne."

Zayn makes an exasperated noise and says, "That's because we were heading _to a brunch_. You don't eat something when you're heading to a brunch!"

"I just wanted a danish or...or a burrito or something."

" _Just_ a burrito?" Liam says with a laugh.

Niall throws his hands up. "Yeah, and I still would've been hungry for brunch!"

We all laugh and I tell Niall, "I seriously don't understand how you're so skinny. What's your secret?"

Niall shrugs. "Dunno. I've always been able to shove in as much as I want and it just doesn't stick to me."

"That's what she said!" Harry and I yell at the same time then high five each other while Zayn, Niall and Liam laugh.

I take a bite of my food and tell Niall, "So, what did you want to ask?"

"Well, I do have a couple of questions." Niall takes a break from eating. "You said before that you wanted to tell us before it gets out everywhere. Does that mean you're planning on being out? Like, publicly?" 

I nod and reply, "Yep. We are. I'm not sure exactly when, but it'll probably be soon. I just feel like it's important; I don't want us to have to lie to people or...or be evasive in interviews, you know?" I look at Harry and he nods in agreement and places his hand on my leg, giving it a little squeeze.

Liam smiles at us fondly and says, "Well, we'll always have your backs, I hope you know that. I mean, if people start to ask stupid questions or make offensive comments."

"Absolutely." Zayn agrees and Niall nods his head, mumbling something with his mouth full and making us all laugh. Zayn tells us in an Irish accent, "What he said was, if anyone tries to fuck wit you, we'll make 'em sorry!"

Niall nods and gives us a thumbs, making us laugh again.

After a moment Harry says, "We appreciate that, and we'll definitely need your help because the interviewers were always pushy in the past when...when they asked me about...about the person I was with...um, before..."

I decide to save him by quickly saying, "Thomas, he's referring to Thomas." I look at Harry and add, "It's okay to say his name."

"Okay, well, I just didn't want to upset you." Harry gently pats my leg with his palm.

I reply, "Oh, I'm not upset. You know why? Because you're _mine_ now." I pull him into my arms, kissing him soundly on the lips while Zayn, Niall and Liam clap and whistle catcalls.

I finally let go of Harry but stay sitting close to him, our sides pressed together, and he gathers himself then looks at the guys again and says, "Anyway, what I was going to say is that the interviewers used to ask me all kinds of inappropriate things about Thomas. I mean, I even had one guy ask me who was the top and who was the bottom in our relationship. I guess he thought it was funny but it made me so uncomfortable, you know?"

Niall looks at us sheepishly and says, "Well, then I guess I won't ask what I was going to ask you next."

Harry laughs loudly at that then covers his mouth with his hand while I ask Niall, "Were you really going to ask us that?"

Niall shrugs one shoulder. "I was curious, yeah."

Liam hesitates before saying, "I can't believe I'm admitting this, but...I was kind of curious about it too."

I look at Zayn, wondering if he shares their curiosity so he shakes his head and tells me, "The thought did cross my mind, but I would've never asked you to tell us that."

Harry and I look at each other and he shrugs as if to say 'go ahead' so I say to the guys, "Let me just put it to you this way...sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."

Liam and Zayn break into laughter while Harry covers his face with his hands and laughs, "Oh Jesus."

Niall frowns and says, "Wait, I don't get it."

"Are you serious, you really don't get it?" I ask and Niall immediately shakes his head so I try to explain by saying, "It's a give and take kind of thing."

Niall still looks clueless so I tell him pointedly, "Sometimes I give it and sometimes I take it."

"Ohhh." Niall says, tilting his head back, finally seeming to understand, and we all roar with laughter.

Still giggling, Zayn pats Niall's back and says, "I seriously thought I was going to have to draw you a picture!"

"I get it now." Niall shakes his head at his own naiveté then says, "I guess it makes sense."

"It makes sense?" I ask.

Niall nods. "Yeah, I mean, it's only fair; I wouldn't want to always have to be the one to do the bend over, pull apart."

We all break into laughter again and Harry lowers his head down to the table, hiding his beet-red cheeks in his arms.

"The bend over, pull apart!" I announce with amusement, "I think we've found our next hit single, boys!"

Liam's eyes light up and he laughs as he says, "Oh! We could have dance moves and everything!"

I start to stand up, fully prepared to dance with Liam but Harry grabs my arm and says through his laughter, " _No_ , please don't do it!" 

Niall practically falls off his chair from laughing so hard and holds a hand out towards me, palm forward, as he says, "Seriously, I can't take it!"

Zayn pats Niall on the back and tells him, "Deep breaths, take deep breaths."

After a couple of minutes, we finally calm down a little and Harry sits up, shaking his hair forward then brushing it to the side. He drinks the last of his mimosa and I offer to make him another one so he nods his head and I take his glass then reach for the orange juice and champagne so that I can make us both another drink.

Once I'm done, I hand Harry his drink and he takes a large sip then says, "Thanks honey; it's delicious."

I feel a flush of happiness at the new endearment, and smile giddily as I tell him, "Aww, you've never called me honey before. That's a new one."

"You like it?" 

"I do, I love it." I answer quietly and he smiles and tilts his head towards me so I wrap an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer so that we can kiss.

When we're finished, Harry sits up and looks around the table, clearing his throat before saying, "Sorry about that, lads."

"It's quite alright." Niall tells us, winking.

Zayn reaches for a cinnamon roll and asks with an amused smile, "Are you guys going to need your own tour bus when we go on tour?"

Harry says, "Well, I hate to tell you this, Zayn, but we used to fool around on the bus all the time and you never caught on."

"Seriously?"

I nod. "Mm hmm. And we were in the bunk right underneath yours."

"How did I never pick up on it?" Zayn asks, his brows scrunched together, looking genuinely baffled.

Liam chuckles and says, "You're a pretty heavy sleeper."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Zayn replies before taking a bite of his roll.

Harry offers, "And we tried to be as quiet as possible."

Liam snorts and says, "There were times when you weren't so quiet."

Harry tells him, " _On the bus_ , we always tried to be quiet. In our hotel room..." He looks at me with a smirk, "sometimes we forgot to be careful."

Niall perks up a bit and asks, "Ohhh, is that how Liam found out about you guys? He heard you doin' it in your hotel room?"

I shake my head and say, "No, he saw something he wasn't supposed to."

"He saw you doin' it?" Niall and Zayn ask in unison and Harry and I both laugh.

"No," Liam shakes his head and looks at us to ask, "Is it okay to tell them?"

I look at Harry and we both make a face of acquiescence so Liam explains, "I borrowed their bathroom and there was a condom on the side of the tub." He quickly adds, "A _used_ condom."

"The infamous blue condom." I say dramatically and Harry gives me a little smile and bumps his shoulder against mine.

"And he knew you guys used it on each other?" Niall asks.

I can't help but give him my best sarcastic sass when I say, "Well, first of all we didn't use it on each other; one of us used it on the other one. Condoms aren't exactly shareable, Nialler. That would defeat the purpose of a condom."

Niall pretends to search for something in his pocket and when he pulls his hand out, he extends his middle finger in my direction, making me laugh.

Liam continues, "Anyway, I asked them why they had a used condom in their bathroom and their reaction pretty much gave it away."

I roll my lips into my mouth to keep myself from saying that it was actually _Harry_ who gave it away; I figure there's just no point in drudging up something that happened so long ago. Harry nudges his shoulder against mine again and when I look at him, I can tell he knows exactly what I'm thinking and we both laugh.

Niall says, "Can I ask one more thing?"

I tell him with my usual sarcasm, "More questions about sex, Niall? Because I have a few websites I can refer you to."

Zayn and Liam giggle but Niall shakes his head and says with a smile, "No, not about sex."

"Okay, shoot."

"Well, I was wondering..." Niall starts but then hesitates and says, "Nah, it's not important."

"Go ahead, Ni." I encourage him and Harry nods.

Niall takes a sip of his drink and says to Harry, "The songs that you wrote with Liam...they weren't about Thomas at all. Were they."

Harry's eyes flick to me briefly before he answers simply, "No."

"I thought so." Niall nods and when the room goes quiet, Niall quickly says, "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, it's okay." I tell him as I slide my hand across Harry's shoulders, "I'd have to be a fool not to realize they were about me." I swallow hard and admit, "They sent me 'They Don't Call it Heartbreak' when I was in Mexico, so that I could learn the lyrics, you know? And when I read at the top of the page that it was written by Liam and Harry, I actually started crying while I was reading through the lyrics."

Harry places his hand on my leg and quietly says, "I'm sorry."

"No, no. I'm not trying to...I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I just, I did feel sad that I was the one who made you feel all that, but I was also really proud of you. I thought it was such a beautiful song; it made me emotional, that's all."

The room becomes quiet again until Niall says, "That's exactly how I felt the first time I heard 'Marry the Pussy' by R. Kelly." He wipes fake tears from his eyes while making his lower lip quiver, and we immediately erupt into laughter, grateful for the lighter mood.

I toss my used napkin at Niall and tell him, "That is quite possibly the funniest thing you've ever said!"

He pretends to blow kisses to the crowd and says, "Thank you! Thank you very much! I'll be here all week!"

~*~

I'm not sure how long we've been sitting outside of Harry's parent's house, settled in the comfortable leather seats of his Range Rover, listening to the radio and enjoying the heat that still lingers around us before we have to step out into the cold night air. I watch with amusement as Harry chews on the inside of his middle finger, something he always does when he's nervous, then I lean in and ask, "You alright, love?"

He frowns a little and replies, "Yeah. Why?"

"You're biting your finger."

He pulls his hand away from his mouth and smirks. "Didn't even realize I was doing it."

I look at him with concern and ask, "You sure you're alright?"

He nods. "Yeah. I'm good. Are you okay?"

"I'm...surprisingly calm." I say as I look at the front of the house then back at Harry. "Who all is here? Do you know?"

"I think just my mum, my sister and Robin." He answers and I nod.

"I'll be honest, I am kind of afraid of your sister."

"Don't be afraid of her; she's harmless."

I hold his hand and say, "Please protect me, Harold. Don't let her hurt me!"

He pats the back of my hand in a placating manner and says in a soft tone, "There, there. I promise I'll protect you from my mean ol' big sister."

"Rrriiight. So, in other words, I'm probably going to get my ass kicked by Gemma?"

He laughs at that then says, "Actually, you're a fast runner so I would just make a run for it if I were you." 

I laugh with him then place a hand on my stomach and moan with discomfort, "Ohhh, my stomach hurts from laughing so much earlier."

"Me too. That was so much fun."

"It really was; I fucking love those guys." I snort and say, "Niall was killing me today."

"I know, he was too funny. The bend over, pull apart!" He says and we both laugh loudly, throwing our heads back.

"Does he think that's the only way two guys can have sex?" I ask and Harry shakes his head.

"I guess so; maybe we should enlighten him."

"Oh man, we should buy him a book. One that shows the different positions?"

"We have to do that!" He gasps, eyes wide with excitement, "We'll buy him his own copy of The Joys of Gay Sex."

"It'll be perfect!" I say with a laugh, holding my stomach. "Can you imagine his face when he opens it?"

Suddenly, Gemma knocks on the driver's side window, making Harry and I both practically jump out of our skin. Harry rolls his window down and tells his sister, "Jesus, Gem. Give us a fucking heart attack why don't you."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." She replies, leaning down to look at both of us. She looks casual yet beautiful, wearing blue jeans with a white blouse and a pink cardigan, a multi-colored headscarf tying her lavender tinted hair back, and bright fuchsia lipstick that seems to shine in the moonlight. She smirks and says, "I was just wondering if you two idiots were planning on coming inside, or if you're just going to sit out here giggling like a couple of school girls?"

Harry looks at me and gives me his best ' _isn't my sister so annoying_ ' expression, but I see the fondness in his smile. He opens his door so that he can step out, and I grab the bouquet of mixed flowers that we bought for Harry's mother then climb out of my side as well, holding onto the flowers and slowly making my way around the front of the Range Rover as I watch Harry greeting Gemma with a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. 

When they pull away from each other, Gemma looks at me expectantly and says, "I won't bite, I promise. C'mere."

She motions for me to come towards her so I oblige, not sure if she wants to greet me with a hug, a handshake or a punch to the face, so when she opens her arms, I breathe a sigh of relief and lean in to hug her, trying not to laugh when I look at Harry and see that he's smiling widely and giving me two thumbs up.

Gemma whispers in my ear, "I want to have a little chat with you later, m'kay?"

I swallow hard and pull away from her, nodding, but somehow manage to keep the smile on my face as I tell her, "Yeah, definitely. We should talk."

She looks at the bouquet of flowers and says, "Those are pretty."

"Yeah, um...we got them for your mum. We should've gotten you some, I'm sorry." I look at Harry with an expression that hopefully conveys _'why in the fuck didn't we buy some flowers for your sister?!'_ but he simply shrugs.

He tells Gemma, "Sorry, sis. Next time, okay?"

"It's alright, really." She turns to walk towards the house and says, "C'mon; mum's been cooking all of your favorites. She's made enough for the whole bloody neighborhood."

Harry and I both follow her up the walkway that leads to the porch and when we reach the door, Harry tells her, "Go inside and tell mum to come here."

"What? Why?" Gemma asks, looking completely befuddled.

"Because...just tell her to come to the door." Harry smiles at me. "Tell her to come meet my new boyfriend."

Gemma places one hand on the doorknob and one hand on her hip, sighing loudly. "Why can't you just come _inside_ and let her meet your boyfriend?"

"Why do you always have to bust my balls?" Harry asks then explains to her slowly, "Look, I have a plan, and that plan involves her coming to the door."

Just as slowly, Gemma says, "Harry, it's cold outside. Why can't you change your plans and come _inside_ , like a normal person?"

"Gemma, _please_." Harry answers, stomping his foot petulantly, and I have to fight back a laugh because I have sisters of my own so I know just how frustrating they can be.

"Okay, okay." Gemma huffs out and opens the door to walk into the house, shaking her head and muttering curse words under her breath.

"Aren't sisters the best?" Harry asks me with a sarcastic smile.

"Absolutely. What would we do without them?" I reply just as sarcastically then ask, "So, what's your plan for when your mum comes out here?"

"Okay, here's the deal." He quickly guides me to one corner of the porch, out of view of the door, and tells me, "Just wait here until I tell you?"

"Okay, yeah." I tell him and hold the flowers out as I ask, "Do you want to give her these, or..."

"No, you give them to her. It'll give you brownie points." He answers with a wink then does a goofy little dance on his way back to stand in front of the door. His excitement is contagious and I feel butterflies in my stomach as I lean back against the wall, watching Harry shifting from one foot to the other, his hands clasped behind his back.

For a moment, doubt creeps into my brain because even though I know that Anne likes me, I don't know if she's going to like the idea of me being with her son. She's such an important person in Harry's life, (he's got multiple tattoos in her honor for crying out loud!), so if she doesn't approve of our relationship, I'm afraid Harry might decide I'm not worth it after all.

Before I can think about it any further, Anne opens the front door and says to Harry, "Hello sweetheart."

She steps all the way out onto the porch to give him a kiss then stands on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his shoulders while Harry bends down to return the hug, winking at me over his mother's shoulder.

She looks as gorgeous as always, wearing black trousers and a perfectly fitted light blue blouse, her dark hair pulled back into a loose ponytail.

When the hug ends, Anne says, "Gemma told me you had your new boyfriend out here?"

"Yep, I didn't want to tell you about him over the phone." Harry explains and Anne looks from one side of the porch to the other, looking for Harry's new boyfriend.

When she spots me standing against the wall, her smile widens and she immediately starts to walk towards me with her arms outstretched as she says, "Louis! Hi sweetheart!"

"Hi Anne, it's so good to see you." I say into her shoulder, still a bit nervous because I don't think she's put two and two together yet.

"Harry didn't tell me he was bringing you—" She gasps and holds me at arms length with her eyes wide, realization apparently dawning on her. "Wait a second!" She looks at Harry and asks, "Is this? Is this him?"

"This is him." Harry answers with a huge smile, nodding his head, and Anne gasps then lets out an almost girlish squeal as she hugs me again, this time practically crushing me while I laugh into her shoulder.

She pulls back again and turns to Harry with a warning look as she says, "Be honest with me now, are you havin' me on or is this real?"

"This is real, I promise you." Harry answers, holding his right hand up as if swearing under oath. He moves closer to me so that he can slide his hand across my shoulders and I tuck myself into his side, wrapping my arm around his waist.

I suddenly remember the flower bouquet and hold it out as I say, "Oh, these are for you."

She takes the flowers from my hand and smiles with delight as she gives them a sniff. "They're lovely, thank you so much."

After a moment, Harry asks his mother, "Is it okay? I mean, are you okay with us being with each other?"

"Of course it is." She replies sincerely and places a hand on my cheek, similar to the way my own mother does. She tells me, "You know I _adore_ you, Louis."

I immediately feel myself blush a little and try to think of something to say but all I can come up with is, "Thank you Anne."

She looks fondly between me and Harry for a moment before saying, "Well, we should probably go inside; I have so much I want to ask you!" 

~*~

Dinner is absolutely delicious, and even though I ate a considerable amount at our brunch earlier, I still manage to eat two helpings of Toad in the Hole, which seems to make Anne very happy.

During dinner, Anne and Harry's step-father, Robin, ask Harry and I questions similar to the ones that Niall and Zayn asked us earlier, minus the inquiries about sex, thank God. They both seem genuinely happy for us, and Harry and I can't stop smiling at each other throughout the dinner, despite the fact that Gemma keeps shooting me suspicious looks. 

When we're done eating I offer to help Anne load the dishes into the dishwasher while Harry, Robin and Gemma play a game of darts in the game room, and Anne accepts my offer gratefully.

I roll the sleeves of my shirt up and watch Anne trying to organize the rather large pile of dishes, emptying one side of the sink so that there's room to rinse the dirty dishes. She asks me, "Are you sure you don't mind helping me? If you want I can get Robin in here so that you can play darts with Harry and Gemma?"

"No, I don't mind at all." I answer sincerely, leaving out the fact that I'm a little afraid to be in the same room with Gemma, especially if she's going to be holding sharp objects. I step up to the counter and ask, "Would you prefer me to rinse the dishes or load the dishwasher?"

"I think I'll have you rinse, because I'm very particular about how I like to load the dishwasher." She explains, almost looking embarrassed, and I quickly nod.

"I understand completely; I'm the same way." I move in front of the sink so that I can start rinsing.

Anne opens the dishwasher and pulls the bottom drawer out then smiles as she says, "I'm so glad I made extra food; I'll have to send some home with you and Harry."

I'm so full I don't even want to think about food, but I manage a smile and tell her, "That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Oh, and I've got cheesecake for dessert as well. We can have it when we're done here. It's strawberry swirl, Harry's favorite kind."

I smile apologetically and say, "I've gotta be honest with you, I don't think I'm going to be able to eat dessert any time soon."

She gives me an understanding smile, "I know, me either. I'm quite full." She takes two glasses from me and places them into the dishwasher as she says, "I'll send some home with you, that way you can eat it when you're ready."

"Thank you, that'd be really nice."

"I tend to want to overfeed everyone; it must be the mother in me. Whenever Harry comes home from tour, he always looks so thin to me so it makes me happy to see him eating, you know?"

"Well, I can promise you that he _does_ eat when we're on tour." I smile at her reassuringly and hand her a pan so that she can place it in the dishwasher. Then I tell her, "But my mum does the same thing whenever I go for a visit; she immediately starts cooking everything I like. Not that I'm complaining."

Her eyes widen and she says, "Oh, I didn't even ask you...does your mum know? About you and Harry?"

"Yeah, I told her...I can't remember exactly when I rang her; I've kind of lost track of time over the past couple of days," I laugh a little and hand her a plate, "but yeah, she does know."

"I'm so excited to talk to her about this; it's just...it's so wonderful."

I open my mouth to say something but my sentence is interrupted when Gemma walks in and announces, "Mum, Harry wants to play Scrabble with you; I'll help Louis finish up the dishes."

Anne seems to hesitate so Gemma tells her, "I promise I'll load them the way you like."

"Okay, okay." Anne replies a bit reluctantly and dries her hands on a towel as she asks me, "Is it okay if I pass my duties on to Gemma? It's kind of tradition for Harry and I to play Scrabble whenever he's here."

"Yeah, of course." I answer so Anne walks out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with Gemma.

I immediately feel a wave of nerves but try to ignore them and continue to rinse the pan in my hands, waiting for her to speak first.

She doesn't wait long; she clears her throat and says, "So."

"So." I give her a little smile and ask, "Should we sit down or..."

"No, we can talk here. Let's just turn this off." She reaches out to turn the faucet off while I dry my hands. 

She takes a moment, perhaps contemplating how to start, and I wait patiently until she finally looks me in the eyes and says, "Harry's my little brother; I know I give him a lot of shit sometimes, but the truth is that I love him dearly. He's got a very big heart. He's probably the most generous person I know, as far as how much he's willing to give of himself to the people that he cares about."

"I agree with you." I say with a short nod.

"All I've ever wanted was for him to find someone who appreciates how wonderful he is," She seems to hesitate then adds, "someone who deserves everything that he's got to offer."

I wait for a moment before asking quietly, "You don't think I'm that person?"

"I didn't say that. I don't...I can't say that I know you well enough just yet. All I know is that you hurt him before; it's not something I ever want him to have to go through again."

"I didn't mean to hurt him, I promise you I didn't. There are things that happened to me when I was younger," I swallow hard and shift my weight from one hip to the other, feeling like the room has suddenly grown twenty degrees warmer, "some things happened that made me afraid to give in to certain feelings."

She furrows her brow and looks genuinely concerned. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

Looking back at the dining room, I ask her, "Can we go sit? It's kind of a long story."

"Yeah, of course." She replies and we walk together towards the dining room table then sit next to each other.

I know that my only chance to truly mollify her is to come clean about everything, so I decide to tell her all about how I was teased when I was little for acting feminine, and how I'd tried to change my mannerisms, my walk, and even the way that I spoke so that I would hopefully seem more masculine. I also tell her about my first boy crush, Keegan, and how we'd experimented with each other before things had gone wrong when we were chased and threatened by a group of boys for simply holding each other's hand while walking down the street one night.

I finish by telling her, "So, after that happened, Keegan distanced himself from me and eventually wouldn't even look at me in the hallways. I felt very ashamed for a long time after that. I knew that it would...things would be so much harder for me, and for my family, if I wasn't 'normal', you know? Or at least what people look at as normal."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." She tells me sincerely, reaching out to squeeze my arm.

"I haven't told many people about it. Actually, other than Harry, I think you're the only one I've told."

"Harry does know about it?"

"Yeah, we've done a lot of talking over the past couple of days; I was too embarrassed before to tell him about it, or _anyone_ for that matter. But now we kind of have a deal with each other to not have any secrets."

"That's good. Harry's terrible at keeping secrets anyway." She says fondly.

"He is. It' just not in him to lie." I say with a smile. "It's one of the many things I love about him."

Her hand still on my arm, she tells me, "Well, I appreciate you sharing this with me; it helps me to understand you better."

"And I appreciate that you're so protective of Harry." I pat her hand, "I love him very much; I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and I can assure you that I have no intention of hurting him."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that because if you do, I can't be held responsible for what I'll do to you." She narrows her eyes at me in what I'm guessing is supposed to be a threatening manner, but there's a hint of a smile on her lips that eases the sting of her words.

"Fair enough." I say with a nod and she stands up from the table.

"Should we hug it out?" She asks and I smile as I stand, leaning towards her so that we can hug.

When we pull apart, she motions towards the kitchen and says, "C'mon, let's finish these dishes up, shall we?"

"Let's do it."

~*~

Harry...

My stepdad helps me carry the bags with containers of food that my mum prepared for us to my Range Rover and once they're safely tucked away on the floor of the backseat, I close the door and turn to give him a hug. "Thanks Robin. For dinner, and for everything, really."

"Of course. You're welcome, son." He nods into my shoulder and pats my back, and when the hug ends, he squeezes my shoulder and says, "I can tell Louis makes you happy, and that makes me really happy. You deserve it."

I smile widely and say again, "Thanks."

He gives my cheek a gentle pat and we both walk back towards the house just as Louis, my mum and my sister walk out onto the porch. Robin hugs Louis while I give my mum a big hug and thank her for the wonderful dinner.

She squeezes me tight and says, "You're welcome. Anytime, sweetheart."

When we pull away, I say, "I want a rematch on Scrabble."

She replies smugly, "Absolutely. I'll beat you next time, too."

"I'm pretty sure you made up that last word." I tease and she laughs.

"I did _not_ make it up; you can find it in the dictionary, I promise."

"Okay, okay." I finally let it go and watch her hugging Louis and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Gemma hooks her arm through mine and says, "C'mon, I'll walk you to your car."

When we're about halfway to the car I turn to look over my shoulder, making sure Louis is alright and I see that he's talking to my parents, looking completely comfortable.

"He's _fine_." Gemma says so I look down at her.

"I know. I just..."

"You just wanted to keep your eyes on him, just like you did all through dinner." She says with a knowing smirk.

"Was I really that bad?"

"It's quite obvious that you're both smitten with each other." She rolls her eyes and says, "I can't believe I'm admitting this but...it's kind of cute. You two are like magnets."

"That's actually a perfect description for it." I smile and look down at my feet, and when we reach my car I turn to lean against it and watch Louis saying his final goodbyes, waving to my parents before turning to walk away.

I look at Gemma again and ask, "Hey, what did you guys talk about when you were in the kitchen together?"

"None of your business, Mr. Nosey." She replies like the brat that she is so I sigh.

"Fine. Just tell me, were you at least nice to him?"

"I'm _always_ nice." She answers and when Louis reaches the car, Gemma looks at him and asks, "Louis, wasn't I nice to you when we were alone together?"

"You were nice." Louis answers with a nod and puts his arm around her shoulder, "We had a nice little chat."

Gemma smiles at me smugly and says, "See? Nothing to worry about."

Louis moves closer to me and asks, "Do you want me to drive?"

"Yeah, I had too much wine with dinner." I pull my keys out of my pocket and hand them to him. "Are _you_ okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I only had one glass, and I actually didn't even finish it." He nods reassuringly then stands on his tiptoes to press a kiss to my lips and I hear my sister making gagging noises so Louis and I pull away from each other laughing.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," Gemma says with a smirk then adds, "it's kind of my job to give you shit."

"And you do it so well." I reply, smiling, and move towards her so that we can hug.

"Text me when you get home so I'll know you made it, okay?" She says and I nod.

"I will, I promise." I tell her and we give each other a kiss on the cheek before I turn to climb into the passenger seat.

Louis gives her a hug as well then walks around to the driver's side and climbs in. While he adjusts the seat and the steering wheel, I roll my window down and say to Gemma, "We should hang out next week; maybe we could see a movie or something."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Oh, and I almost forgot...Louis and I would like to have babies in about five or six years? So we're going to need to borrow your uterus." 

Gemma snorts out a laugh and replies sarcastically, "Oh sure; just let me know when and I'll pencil you in."

"Cool." I smile and look at Louis, "That was easy."

He laughs and starts the engine then looks out my window to say to Gemma, "Thanks Gem, you're the best! Our kids are going to be adorable, just you wait and see."

She shakes her head but laughs and crosses her arms to try and fight off the cold breeze.

While Louis backs out of the driveway, I wave at my family and yell "Thank you!" out the window before rolling it up, smiling as I watch my mum blowing me a kiss from the porch.

When we're too far away for me to see them any longer, I look at Louis and say, "I love my family."

He nods. "I love them too. They're wonderful people. It's no wonder you turned out the way you did."

We smile at each other and when he looks at the road again, I lean towards him so that I can kiss his cheek. As I sit back again I see the bags of food containers sitting in the back and say, "I cannot believe how much food mum sent us home with." 

"I know. It must be a mother thing, they want to make sure we're being fed." He smiles at me then looks at the road again. "That cheesecake looked amazing; I can't wait to have some later."

"Mum makes a killer cheesecake, you're gonna love it." I reply proudly. "And her Toad in the Hole is my favorite; wasn't it so good?"

"It was incredible. Don't tell my mum I said this but I think your mum's is better."

"Your secret's safe with me." I say with a wink then wait for a moment before asking, "So...what did you and my sister talk about?"

"The depletion of the ozone layer." He answers with a deadpan expression but breaks into laughter when he sees the look of confusion on my face. "We talked about you, of course."

"Oh yeah? How'd that go? What'd she say to you?"

"Um, she..." He looks up for a moment, as if he's trying to think of where to begin, then finally says, "Your sister loves you very much."

"She said that?" The smile on my face widens.

"Mm hmm. And she wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to hurt you. Again."

"I'm sorry I didn't come save you. Was it completely awkward?"

"No, it was alright. We actually had a really nice talk. Your sister's cool."

"She is cool; I'm glad to hear you had a nice talk." I sit back in my seat, kicking my feet up onto the dashboard to make myself more comfortable then yawn and stretch my arms out above me, pressing my palms into the ceiling of my Range Rover.

"Tired?" He asks and I rub my eyes.

"Yeah, I don't know why. Must be all that food I ate."

"Well, we had a busy day."

"You're not tired?"

He shakes his head. "I'm alright. I feel good."

"Yeah?" I ask with a smile, enjoying the way the streetlights look on his profile.

"Yeah." He returns my smile and reaches a hand out, palm up, so I take it between both of mine, linking our fingers together, feeling so warm and happy.

I tell him quietly, "If I could bottle up the way I'm feeling right now and sell it so that everyone could feel it, we could end world hunger, there wouldn't be any wars." I shake my head and add, "No one would have to do drugs ever again; everyone would just be...happy."

"I feel it too, love." He pulls my hand over so that he can kiss the back of it, then he settles our joined hands back in my lap again and says, "Go ahead and rest. I'll wake you when we get home."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You're going to need to be well rested for what I plan on doing to you when we get back to your place."

I laugh a little then readjust myself in my seat and close my eyes, listening to the soft music playing on the stereo, and after only a few short moments I slip into a light, blissful sleep.

~ End Chapter 24 ~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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